The Marriage Investment Matthew 19:5-6NLT
and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Jesus’ challenge to the Pharisees echoed the question raised by Malachi 2:15 “But did He not make them one…Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. Before the giving and receiving of wedding vows, couples need to understand the significance of one. One in communication, Secondly, one with finances and several more.
First, lets look at the word communication- One in communication means, what I know she knows- “there aren’t any secrets.”
Your spouse should know everything. Where you’re going; where you’ve been.
Lack of communication brings instant isolation. Hurt and distrust will manifest without communication. Lack of communication speaks volumes- does he or she care? Is there a secret? I must not be important to them?
The big question- Who do you confide in?
Illustration: observing men at a restaurant or a golf course talking without ceasing to one another, I wonder do they talk to their wives, and are able to carry on a conversation with them?
Communication is all important in child rearing. Mutual constant (Agreement) on every important matter should be well communicated before marriage. “Can we agree on disciple?” Etc.
In what tone do you communicate? What attitude? Are you loud while rolling your eyes? Do you put your spouse down? Do you say cutting remarks?
Proverbs 18:20-22NKJ A man’s stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; From the produce of his lips he shall be filled. 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. 22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.
Illustration: I officiated a funeral Tuesday morning, for my neighbors dad, he was a believer, giver, always kind, helped others, and loved to make other’s laugh. I didn’t know this man well, but after hearing a few stories about his demeanor his funeral was a cake walk. Romans say’s, believers are kind, givers, make others rejoice.
Listen to Romans 12:9-16NLT Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them.15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!
You’ve heard this saying and it’s true. “What you constantly put into something will be what you get out.”
Listen to Jesus’ words in Luke 6:38NKJ Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”
Luke 6:38TM Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.”
Secondly, Finances- “big boys and their big boy toys…ouch.”
Buying clothes, shoes and high dollar items.
Conferring with your spouse before making a large purchase? Do you run up the credit cards?
“Does spending money give you a high?” P.H.
Lets look at the word, Selfishness. When you’ve spent your life doing things your own way, it’s hard to give up that right and defer to another person.
Paul Tripp writes, “When we live for the Kingdom of self, our decisions, thoughts, plans, actions and words are directed by personal desire, and we seek to surround ourselves with people who will serve our kingdom purposes.”
The trouble is, as Lynn Roush points out: “A marriage of two people serving their Kingdoms will eventually end in bloody battle. But when both people submit to God’s Kingdom where Christ reigns and where joy and life are found, marriage becomes an opportunity to exit the small space of the Kingdom of self and begin to enjoy the beauty and benefits of the Kingdom of God.’ … Our greatest marital problem is ourselves. We will always rise to our own defense, and be tempted to blame others while believing the best about ourselves. Not surprisingly, God uses marriage to reveal the sin of self-righteousness. A marriage can be transformed when just one person sees this sin and humbly confesses ways they have damaged the relationship. It’s only when two people give up their own kingdom, that peace, harmony, love and joy can be found.”
Fourthly, let’s look at the word, Integrity- What would you do if no one would know?
Genesis 39:6-9NLT Joseph was a very handsome and well-built young man, 7 and Potiphar’s wife soon began to look at him lustfully. “Come and sleep with me,” she demanded. 8 But Joseph refused. “Look,” he told her, “my master trusts me with everything in his entire household. 9 No one here has more authority than I do. He has held back nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How could I do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin against God.”
I read an amusing story about the first Duke of Wellington. An inventor was trying to interest him in a bulletproof waistcoat he had made. It was absolutely marvelous and could save the great man’s life if somebody tried to assassinate him. The Iron Duke asked the man to put it on, and he examined it carefully, and then, to give it a test, he sent for a rifleman - but the inventor bolted out of the other door!
A Final good nugget, “Good surprises and dating.”
Song of Solomon 2:9-10NLT My lover is like a swift gazelle or a young stag. Look, there he is behind the wall, looking through the window, peering into the room. 10 My lover said to me, “Rise up, my darling!Come away with me, my fair one!
What do you treasure about your spouse? What type of investment are you making with your spouse in the way of unselfish time.
“What kind of time did you give each other while dating?”
“Remember, the value you place on a relationship, project or opportunity can be measured directly by the degree of diligence you apply in working at it.” P.H.
Benediction.
