HoHum:
“How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?” demanded the policeman. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a loud moan. His distress was so great that the cop was moved to ease up on him. “Aw, come now,” said the policeman, “you don’t have to take it so hard. I won’t even give you a ticket. It isn’t that serious.” “It isn’t?” cried the motorist. “What happened to my boat and trailer?”
WBTU:
Life is full of losses. It’s sobering when we think about the fact that absolutely nothing around us is permanent. We will go through seasons of tragedy, seasons of grief, seasons of loss, when we have a disaster that takes away something that is important to us. We can lose our finances, our job, our health, our marriage, and we will lose loved ones we care about who die. Last weekend we experienced that with people in the community who died. Many went to the visitation last Sunday night.
We may not be in a season of loss. Vs. 15 of Ecclesiastes 8 is for those times. However, there will come a time of loss. Message today might be preventative or it might be a comfort and a help to those who right now are experiencing a loss. Broken heart in every pew.
From the verses that were read by (Eli) we can see that life is not fair. Life is not a fairy tale where they live happily ever after. Vs. 14. Have we seen this happen? This is life.
We must understand that we don’t always get what we deserve in life. We have this myth in the back of our minds that all bad things that happen to us occur because we’re bad and all the good things that happen occur because of our goodness. The principle of “reap what we sow” is seen throughout the Bible but is this absolutely, 100% true? Other spiritual principles override this and we should be thankful. For if we reap what we sow all of the time we would all be going to hell. “For the wages of sin is death (without the next phrase we would all get this wage), but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23, NIV.
Many books have been written about “Why do bad things happen to good people?” and there is much help to us personally in studying this matter, but in reality vs. 17 is quite true. If we think we have this issue settled in our mind something else comes along and upsets the apple cart. When bad things happen to us that’s called life and sometimes it defies explanation.
It is not my job in this sermon to explain and give reasons why all the tragedies of life, all the disasters, all the losses happen. Cannot cover it all and cannot explain everything because I’m not God. This is basically what happens in the book of Job. After Job’s losses, Job and 4 others debate the meaning of life’s losses and disasters. When God comes to Job God explains nothing but God basically says that He is God and we are not so may we be like Job and reply, ““I am unworthy” Job 40:4, NIV. Some things we are not going to understand until we get to heaven.
Thesis: 4 principles or steps on how to recover from life’s loses
For instances:
Release our grief
Tragedy produces strong emotions- anger, fear, depression, worry, sometimes guilt. Feelings like these are scary and we don’t know what to do with them. However, we need to do with these emotions. Our emotions are part of our being and they are there for a reason.
Many people don’t deal with their emotions. They stuff them down and pretend that they are not there. This is why some people struggle with emotional stress in their lives from events that occurred 20 or 30 years ago.
Some believe the myth that says, God wants me to walk around with a smile on my face all the time. The Bible doesn’t say that and that is not how characters in the Bible acted. “I should never be sad, I should never grieve, I should never hurt. God wants me to always go around saying, “Praise the Lord!””
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4, NIV. Notice that mourning comes first and then the comforting.
What do we do with these negative feelings? Give them to God. “God I hurt! I’m grieving! This is a tough one to take.” The book of Psalms is a good place to dwell during these times of loss. “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” Psalms 62:8, NIV. “The LORD is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalms 34:18, NIV.
Need to pour it out to God. Feelings that are pushed down fester, and eventually they explode in a much worse situation.
We must receive from others
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
This goes against our nature. It is human tendency when we’ve had a loss to pull back from others. We want to draw into a shell, build a wall around us. Opposite of what we need
We need the support of others. We also need the perspective of other people. When we are in a season of loss we don’t see the whole picture, our pain narrow our focus and we need other people who can help us see the big picture.
We need to let other people minister to us. Difficult for ministers.
This is one of the reasons that God created the church. We are a family and we are to care for each other. Be a part of the church here if not already and get involved. Get to know some of the people here. Get into ministry so we can know some people now and so that those relational bridges will be in place before the time of loss comes.
Nothing sadder than when someone says that during their time of loss no one came and comforted, helped them. Ask if they let anyone know about this loss and they say No.
Refuse to be bitter
“See to it that no-one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12:15, NIV.
Talked about joy at the beginning of the year. We cannot be both bitter and joyful. When bitterness is in our hearts, joy walks out the back door. Bitterness and joy cannot live in the same house.
“Am I going to be bitter or joyful?” It is our choice. Bitter or better.
I’ve seen situations where two people in the exact same situation facing the exact same crisis and problems- one comes out saying “We can make it. With God’s help we’ll do it.” And the other is saying, “This stinks. It’s terrible. Life’s over!” It is our choice.
Go back to Hebrews 12:15 misery loves company. Try to make others miserable, a bitter root
Refuse to be bitter in the losses of life. How do we do that? 2 things:
Accept what cannot be changed.
“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Philippians 4:11, NIV.
Many misunderstand faith. A lot of people think faith is ignoring reality and pretending like something isn’t really that bad. That’s not faith, faith is not denying reality. Faith is refusing to be discouraged in the face of reality. It is not pretending we don’t have a problem. It’s refusing to be discouraged in spite of the problem.
As we grow in our Christian life and experience, one of the marks of emotional maturity is we begin to realize that most of life is beyond our control. Sometimes the only way to manage an unmanageable situation is through acceptance of it. When we’ve lost a loved one, when we’ve walked away from their grave, all the wishing, hoping, and praying isn’t going to bring that person back. The path to peace in those times is acceptance.
The Serenity Prayer goes like this -- God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
Look at what’s left, rather than what’s lost.
“give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18, NIV.
Be thankful for the problem, the loss? No, be thankful for what’s left.
The antidote to depression is gratitude. Look at what’s left, not what’s lost. Start making a list and come up with many things still to be thankful for. Watch depression start to subside. Can’t be grateful and depressed at the same time.
We need to remember what’s important in the season of loss
Losses have a way of putting everything into perspective. They clarify our values and help us figure out priorities.
“Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”” Luke 12:15. Remember what lasts
The greatest things in life aren’t things. What matters are relationship and people.
“For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.” 1 Timothy 6:7, NIV. We’ll never see a hearse pulling a U-Haul.
We need to build our lives on something that can’t be taken from us. A job? No job security. Health? Laid up any minute. Marriage? Beauty? Only one thing can’t be taken away from us by this world, Our relationship with God through Jesus Christ.
In all the losses of this life, we need to remember. “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13, NIV.
