Sermon Title: THE CANCER OF UNFORGIVENESS
Text: Genesis 50
Series: Greatest Chapters of the Bible
Dr. Larry Petton
Cross Pointe Community Church
January 26, 2014
Message #3 in series
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The story is told by Ernest Hemingway of a father and his teenage son who had a relationship that had become strained to the point of breaking. Finally the son ran away from home. His father, however, began a journey in search of his rebellious son. Finally, in Madrid, in a last desperate effort to find him, the father put an ad in the newspaper.
The ad read: “DEAR PACO, MEET ME IN FRONT OF THE NEWSPAPER OFFICE AT NOON. ALL IS FORGIVEN. I LOVE YOU. YOUR FATHER.”
The next day at noon in front of the newspaper office, 800 “Pacos” showed up.
There are so many “PACOS” in our world who are dying to be forgiven…….and so many others who are dying because of the cancer of unforgiveness.
Cancer is killing us. About 1,660,290 new cancer cases were diagnosed in 2013, and 580,350 Americans died of cancer, almost 1,600 people a day. Cancer remains the second most common cause of death in the US, accounting for nearly 1 of every 4 deaths. Many doctors in the U.S. believe there is a direct correlation between cancer and forgiveness. In fact, a recent nationwide survey revealed that 97% of doctors believe that emotions can affect the body's ability to fight disease.
Karl Menninger, the famed psychiatrist, once said that if he could convince the patients in psychiatric hospitals that their sins were forgiven, 75 percent of them could walk out the next day!
Unforgiveness is a cancer to our souls that carries many curses. However, somehow Joseph was able to overcome that cancer and forgive his brothers when he had the chance to take their lives (Genesis 49-50). His act of forgiveness is a foreshadowing of how Christ forgave his enemies from the Cross and cried out to the Father in Heaven: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
Joseph is a beautiful type of Christ in the Old Testament. The parallels between Joseph and Jesus are amazing.
• Both were loved by their fathers.
• Both were rejected by their brothers.
• Both were tempted greatly.
• Both suffered innocently.
• Both were unjustly tried.
• Both took a Gentile bride.
• Both forgave those who hurt them.
• Both were exalted to a glorious position.
The story of Joseph’s life can be outlined by several key events in Genesis:
1.REJECTION (37:1-36) – Jacob selected Joseph as the favored son and he was despised by his brothers. They threw him into a pit and left him for dead.
2. REFINEMENT (38:1 – 40:23) – Traders came by and captured Joseph and took him to Egypt where they sold him as a slave.
3. RESURRECTION (41:1-45) – Joseph began to rise to the top in Egypt until he was tempted by Potiphar’s wife. He was blamed and sent to serve as a slave in prison once again.
4. REIGNING (41:46-57) – The Lord showed his favor to Joseph in prison where he interpreted dreams and showed remarkable character. He eventually became a powerful ruler in Egypt.
5. RECONCILIATION (42:1 – 47:31) – Joseph met his brothers again and forgave them of their awful trespass against him.
6. REWARD (48:1-49:33) – Joseph was blessed by God and recognized by others.
7. RETURN (50:1-26) – Joseph returned home to bury his father and to be reunited with his family again.
One of the most memorable moments of Joseph’s life is found in Genesis chapters 49-50. His brothers were brought before him on charges of violating Egyptian law. Joseph had the power to take their lives or to punish them. They had no clue who he was…….they thought he was dead.
When the brothers faced this unknown Egyptian ruler, he surpised them when he stepped off his place of authority and revealed himself to them. They were totally shocked and afraid. Joseph forgave them for hurting him and then gave that classic statement of Genesis 50:20 – “You meant this for evil. But God meant it for good!” This is the “Romans 8:28” of the Old Testament which reminds us that trials work FOR US, not AGAINST US.
I love how The Message translates II Corinthians 4:16-18 concerning our trials:
“So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.”
Joseph, like Jesus, forgave those who tried to take his life. How do you treat those who offend you?
There is probably no greater litmus test of our faith in Christ than how we respond to our enemies. Benjamin Franklin was right when he said, “Doing an injury puts you below your enemy; revenging an injury makes you even with him; forgiving an injury sets you above him.”
Muslim terrorists believe that it is a righteous thing to slaughter enemies of Allah. Terrorists publicly, unashamedly threatened the s2014 Winter Olympic Games in Russia. One group promised to hurt innocent people under the banner of “avenging the blood of Muslims shed in Europe” throughout history. Talk about generational curse! That is long-standing hatred and unforgiveness.
Do you have a long-standing bitterness in your heart toward someone who hurt you?
Do you cringe when you see that person at the shopping center?
Do you walk on the other side of the street when you see that person in the community?
Why do you keep carrying the old bitterness. It will fester into a cancer in your soul.
The only thing that will set you free is to willfully choose to forgive the person who has wronged you.
Forgiveness has been simply defined as…..ME NOT HURTING YOU, BECAUSE YOU HURT ME.
Forgiveness is the core value of a true follower of Jesus.
Forgiveness can break the curse of hatred.
Forgiveness is not optional for a Christian. One lady said to her Pastor, “I am sorry, but I do not feel led to forgive at this time!” Really? Who is leading your life these days?
I think there are many today who are confused about forgiveness. Let’s talk about what forgiveness IS NOT.
FORGIVENESS IS NOT EASY. It is the most difficult you will ever do to forgive someone who has stolen from you, lied about, hurt you or broken a vow to you.
FORGIVENESS IS NOT NATURAL. The normal, human response is revenge. The flesh always wants to get even.
FORGIVENESS IS NOT DENIAL. You can’t just put hurtful things under another rug. Someone hurt you. Someone wronged you. How will you deal with that?
FORGIVENESS IS NOT A ONE-TIME EVENT. Forgiveness is an active verb. You have to get up daily and die to the anger in your heart. It doesn’t normally happen overnight.
FORGIVENESS IS NOT APPROVAL. Just because you forgive someone, that does not erase the wrong they have committed.
FORGIVENESS DOES NOT NECESSARILY RESUME A RELATIONSHIP. Good relationships are built on trust. If someone has hurt you and broken that trust, you can forgive them, but you may not necessarily be able to resume the relationship.
Philip Yancey has given a great quote on the meaning of forgiveness:
“At last I understood: in the final analysis, forgiveness is an act of faith. By forgiving another, I am trusting that God is a better justice-maker than I am. By forgiving, I release my own right to get even and leave all issues of fairness for God to work out. I leave in God’s hands the scales that must balance justice and mercy.” (Philip Yancey, "What’s So Amazing About Grace?")
Ronald Reagan’s attitude after the 1982 assassination attempt on his life made an impression on his daughter, Patti Davis. As she watched the faithful example of President Reagan, she later declared:
“The following day after the assassination attempt, my father said he knew his physical healing was directly dependent on his ability to forgive his attacker, John Hinckley. By showing me that forgiveness is the key to everything, including physical health and healing, he gave me an example of Christ-like thinking.”
Joseph showed that example to his brother.
Esau forgave Jacob after years of estrangement.
Jesus prayed for those who were crucifying him and asked the Father to forgive.
Stephen said of his accusers, “Lay not this side to their account.”
But what about the times in our lives when we won’t forgive?
What about the times when we feel that we can’t forgive.
What does that say about our faith?
I’m afraid the Body of Christ in our generation has somehow overlooked the cancer of unforgiveness. We have chosen to wear the victim label and have found it right in our sight to never forgive certain people. I am very sorry for what that other person has done to hurt you…….but for you to hold bitterness in your heart against them the rest of your life only hurts you. Worse than that, it causes you to sin against God.
As your nurse says, “This is going to ‘ouch’ a little, so hang on. The Scripture says a truckload of truth about the sin of unforgiveness. Here are the FACTS OF UNFORGIVENESS:
1.FACT #1 -- UNFORGIVENESS SHOWS THAT WE DON’T LOVE JESUS THE WAY WE SHOULD.
In John 15:12, Jesus commands us to love one another, as He has loved us. If we have unforgiveness in our hearts against someone, then we don’t truly love them as Christ loved us. If we don't keep Jesus' commandments, then it shows that we don't love Him like we should. Jesus added in John 14:24, “He who loves me not, keeps not my sayings." Do you love Jesus? Do what he says. Forgive those who trespass against you.
2. FACT #2 -- UNFORGIVENESS IS A SIGN OF THOSE WHO ARE NOT FORGIVEN.
If you are forgiven, you must forgive. But you can’t give out what you don’t have inside. Jesus said in Matthew 6:15, "If ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus and said, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32). We are not saved by our works of forgiveness…..but we are not saved without them. Faith without works is dead (James 2:14-18).
3.FACT #3-- UNFORGIVENESS IS CONTRARY TO THE TEACHINGS OF JESUS.
Matthew 18:23-35 shows the teaching of Jesus concerning the Kingdom of Heaven and forgiveness. Notice how emphatic Jesus is in v. 35 that the Father will judge us harshly if we do not forgive others. Unforgivness is clearly against the will of the Father and the teachings of Jesus.
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold[a] was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.[b] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
4. FACT #4 -- UNFORGIVENESS CAN HINDER OUR PRAYERS.
John 15:5-10 tells us that, if we abide in Christ, we will produce much spiritual fruit and the way we abide in Christ is by keeping His commandments. Verse 12 tells us that His commandment is to love one another as He has loved us. Verse 7 tells us that if we abide in Him (by keeping His commandments), and His Word in us, we can ask for anything and it will be given to us! The reason many prayers go unanswered is because we aren't keeping the obeying Jesus.
WATCH THE SPIRITUAL DIGRESSION. If We aren’t forgiving others, we aren't keeping His commandments. If We aren’t keeping His commandments, we aren’t abiding in Christ's love. If We aren’t abiding in his love……then how can we expect Him to respond to our prayers?
Are you prayers hindered now? Could it be that you need to forgive someone?
5.FACT #5 -- UNFORGIVENESS CAN LEAD TO BITTERNESS.
Hebrews 12:14-15 describes a root of bitterness springing up within us when we don’t live in peace with others and holiness before God:
“14 Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”
Unforgiveness is the cancer of the soul that leads to bitterness and keeps us from having peace in our relationships.
Bitterness is a frozen form of latent anger and resentment. Bitterness grows out of our refusal to let go when someone or something is taken from us.
Bitterness is holding onto a hurt until it has a hold on you.
Bitterness is illustrated by Margie Stunt who said that “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison…….and hoping the other person dies!”
6. FACT #6 – UNFORGIVENESS ALLOWS SATAN AN ADVANTAGE OVER US.
There is a little-known passage from Paul in 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 that reminds us that unforgiveness can allow Satan to have an advantage ovber us: "To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices."
When Satan is allowed to have an advantage in our lives, it always leads to bondage. Lewis Smedes reminds us what happens when we refuse to forgive: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free…….only to find out that the prisoner is YOU.”
7.FACT #7 -- UNFORGIVENESS CAN DESTROY A MARRIAGE.
Ruth Bell Graham, wife of Evangelist Billy Graham, once said: “A strong marriage is the union of two good forgivers!” When a Christian spouse refuses to forgive, a marriage can be destroyed. Husbands are commanded to love their wives like Christ (Ephesians 5:25). He forgave His Bride.
I Corinthians 13 teaches us how to love, which would obviously include marriage and Paul reminds us that true love “does not keep a record of wrongdoings” (I Corinth. 13:5). I Peter 4:8 states that “love covers a multitude of sins”. That is a portrait of forgiveness. That is how marriage should be between two believers in Christ.
But when couples stop forgiving each other…………they stop loving each other. Unforgiveness can destroy a marriage.
8.FACT #8 -- UNFORGIVENESS CAN BRING CURSES INTO OUR LIVES.
Charles Allen tells the story of the show that my father used to watch years ago, called “Amos and Andy”, where there was a big man who would slap Andy across the chest whenever they met. Finally, Andy got enough of it and said to Amos, “I put a stick of dynamite in my vest pocket and the next time he slaps me he is going to get his hand blown off!” (From God’s Psychiatry, Charles Allen, p. 116).
When we refuse to forgive, we only put a stick of dynamite in our front pocket.
We don’t hurt the one who hurt us.
We only hurt ourselves.
When God’s people in the Old Testament disobeyed God's commandments, it brought curses (Deut 27:26). When people today disobey God, it can do the same thing -- it can bring curses. These curses cause mental and emotional problems (Deut 28:28), physical problems (Deut 28:35, 60, 61), financial problems (Deut 28:17, 38, 43), divorce and family issues (Deut 28:30, 56), emotional stress (Deut 28:34), childlessness (Lev 20:21), and, plus, those curses can be handed down to your future generations (Exodus 20:5).
If you will not forgive……do you think it will bring harm into your life? The Word of God tells us that unforgiveness is a cancer that brings curses into our lives.
John Iverson said: “The man who refuses to forgive destroys the bridge over which he himself must cross.”
Joseph looked to God and found a way to forgive. Can you?
There are five questions that the Holy Spirit has placed on my heart to ask you.
• Who has hurt you in such a deep way that you cannot get over it? Identify the person.
• Have you asked God to help you forgive this person? If not, stop and doing that right NOW.
• What is keeping you from forgiving that person and moving on with your life?
• Do you think you can take God’s forgiveness for your sin and keep bitterness in your heart toward the one
who sinned against you?
* Are you willing to confess your unforgiveness today and lay it down before the Lord?
In his book. Lee: The Last Years, Charles Flood reports that, after the Civil War, Robert E. Lee visited a Kentucky lady who took him to the remains of a grand old tree in front of her house. There she bitterly cried that its limbs and trunk had been destroyed by Federal artillery fire. She looked to Lee for a word condemning the North or at least sympathizing with her loss. After a brief silence, Lee said, "Cut it down, my dear Madam, and forget it."
It is better to forgive the injustices of the past rather than to allow them to remain, lest bitterness take root and poison the rest of your life with a spiritual cancer of the soul. We can’t do this by ourselves. Jesus said, “Without Me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5). But with His Spirit living in me and loving through me, He can give me the power to forgive that one who has crushed my heart ……if I will just allow the Lord to have His way and His will in my life.
An African woman gave her heart to Christ. Her husband was the chief of a Zulu tribe. When she told him what she had done, the chief beat her brutally. As she was lying in the floor bleeding, the man mocked her and said, “Now, what can your Jesus do for you now?” The woman picked herself up and tearfully said, “He can help me to forgive you.”
MY PRAYER FOR THOSE WHO NEED TO FORGIVE SOMEONE
Written by Larry Petton
Lord, my heart has been wounded by someone who hurt me deeply.
I have been very angry and bitter because this happened and I have not been able to let go of the pain.
I have wondered many times where You were when this happened to me.
I acknowledge that a spirit of unforgiveness has overtaken me and is not from You.
I confess that I cannot do this without Your help.
I turn from the sin of unforgiveness now.
Cleanse my heart of all of the anger, bitterness, resentment and revenge I have toward the one who hurt me.
Fill me with your Holy Spirit.
Give me the power to overcome my flesh.
Let me walk in the freedom of Your forgiveness.
Let me see the one who hurt me through your eyes.
Help me to take my offender to the Cross and leave him there.
Cover his face with the precious blood of Jesus until I can see him no longer.
I forgive the one who sinned against me and sinned against You.
If the enemy comes in like a flood and brings bitterness back to my heart, I will stand on this confession.
I leave final judgment in Your hands and will no longer hold this sin to his or her account.
I am no longer a slave to the Cancer of Unforgiveness.
I praise Your powerful Name for my freedom!
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen.
Praying for you to forgive,
Dr. Larry Petton
Please contact me if I can help you find freedom through forgiveness.
