True, Godly Love (John 21:15-17)
John 21:15-17
15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Feed My lambs."
16 He said to him again a second time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Tend My sheep."
17 He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus said to him, "Feed My sheep.
(NKJ)
What is the meaning of love? What does love mean to you?
(Ask)
If I were to say "I love you" to Kay, it would mean something different than if I were to say "I love you" to Dave, or to Turtle, or to Matt.
I once heard a pastor ask a question, and I'll ask you the same question. Why do you think that God had the Bible written in the three languages of Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek? Why didn't He just use some other language?
Here's the reason, especially with Greek. Greek is one of the most accurate, if not the most accurate languages on the face of the earth in describing by the words what is meant by the heart, by the mind, by the soul.
We see this in John 21, starting with verse 15.
Doesn't it sound like Jesus is being a pest here? Doesn't it sound like Jesus is asking Peter the same question over and over? Guess what? He's not. There is some differences that we can't see in the English language, but if we look to the Greek we can see them and see how powerful this entire section of scripture really is.
I) The Greek Words For Love
In the Greek language, there are four words for love. The first word is only seen in it's opposite form, and that word is stergein. It carries a meaning of a love that is a natural love, such as a father toward children, toward his wife because that's according to nature.
The second word is Eros, which is a word that describes what most people think of when the English word love is used. Love has been twisted in the last 100 years or so, and especially in the last 50.
Eros is a word of sensuality. It is expressed in the relationship between a man and a woman in physical terms. The ancient Greeks, in fact, had gods that personified this passion, Aphrodite and Eros, which we today know as Venus and Cupid. So if you think that Cupid is a little angel sent from God to fling arrows of love into men and women, you're sadly mistaken.
The intent of the word Eros is one of a physical attraction between a man and a woman, and is of course appropriate and beautiful when that man and woman enjoy Eros love in a godly married bond. But Eros love is only one of the types of love that should exist between a man and a woman; we will see that all three loves should exist.
The next word is "Phileo". What do you think of when you hear of "Phileo"? Philadelphia, the "city of brotherly love" and philharmonic, which means "friendly harmonies"--beautiful music.
The word Phileo, according to Spiros Zodiates in the Complete Word Study New Testament, is "Generally to have affection for someone. Of things, to be fond of, to like. With the idea of overweening fondness. Robertson, in Robertson's Word Pictures, states that phileo is "love as a friend"
Now that you see two of these words, and their meanings, let's go back to the scripture and take it apart piece by piece.
15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Feed My lambs."
Jesus now calls Peter by his given name of Simon, which He hadn't called him in years. This shows a starting over of sorts; Peter had been so bold in his statement of love for Jesus, and in his allegience to Him saying that he would never betray Him. But, how the proud do fall. Hours after making that statement, Peter denied Jesus not once, not twice but three times, even cussing loudly. All while Jesus looked on.
When we are called to God's service, it is to be humble. Just about the time we get puffed up and proud, God knocks us down a few pegs. No where in scripture does it say that "the proud will inherit the earth". Instead it says the meek--the humble, those who serve--inherit the earth. Peter learned a lesson about life in the Lord's service as he wept bitterly. I would say that he suffered from a New Testament depression by betraying someone that he loved so very much, one that the Holy Spirit had revealed to him as God the Son.
Now let's look at the word for love that Jesus used here: "Jesus said Do you love me more than these?" The word for love here is the fourth Greek word, "agapeo" (ah gah pay' oh) and is a different love that either Eros or Phileo. Agapeo, or agape love is a love that is stirred by God himself for others, a love of the will. Some people would pronounce agape as "ah ga' pee", but this is not the correct pronounciation.
Agapeo love is a love that is a one way love that is initated by God; we don't have the capacity to love with agapeo love until we are saved. We love God and we love others in a godly way because, as the Apostle John wrote in I John 4:19 We love Him because He first loved us.(NKJ)
Agapeo love, then, is the ultimate love--it is the love that God gives us to be in relationship with Him and with others that perhaps aren't loveable. It is the ability to give one's all in a godly love to another no matter what the circumstances.
Zodihates states that agapeo love is "To esteem, love, indicating a direction of the will and finding one's joy in something or someone." Agapeo love is a true love inspired by God, and not a love because a man or woman has things in common with another. It is not Eros love, no not at all. Agapeo love rises above both of these types of love.
It is also said that agapeo love is the love that God the Father has for God the Son. Willmington states that it is the "God's love for sinful man".
II) God Never Stops Loving You
What does Peter reply? "Yes, Lord, you know that I phileo you". Yes, Lord, I love you like a friend. Why did Peter say this? More than these refers, most probably to the other disciples-- Peter had, only days before, made the statement that He would never betray His Lord but we know what happened. Here, we see Peter in a state of remorse, and repentance. Peter did not want to make the same mistake twice.
Some refer to this section of scripture as "The Restoration of Peter", and in a sense this is true. However, we must remember that when the Lord forgives, the forgiveness is complete. While we can't escape the consequences of our sin, we are forgiven by God for the sin that we do when we truly repent. Do we deserve it? No. But that's the beauty, the agapeo love that God showers on us.
There are times when we feel that God is not there, but remember this: God never stops loving you. Even when you are chastened by the Lord, it is discipline and not punishment. Discipline is when your course is corrected; punishment is when wrath is poured out upon you without the idea of bringing you into a state of correction. Agapeo love is a love that we don't deserve, and is a love that sometimes is a tough love. It may hurt, it may hurt down into your bones, but it's for good.
Now the next part of verse 15 shows us the restoration of Peter's ministry: Feed my lambs.
According to Vincent in Vincent's Word Studies, the word lambs is a diminutive word. When I think of diminutive, I think of small. For instance, when we see a little child we think of deminutive. In this case, we see Jesus true meaning as being "little lambs".
I remember back on the farm when we would have a lamb that would not be owned by it's mother we would have to bring that lamb inside and feed it by bottle. This is the picture that I get from this scripture. God wants us to feed the little lambs, the children. Too often, we think that we should yell and carry on when the kids disobey. This is not the case, though we should give kids a good old fashioned tanning when they deserve it (that's a biblical principle).
But again, we are to teach the young and the young in the faith also. When someone is saved at an adult age, there is a lot of garbage that has been instilled in their mind through their entire life. We must be patient at teach our way through this.
When we look at this last phrase, we see something remarkable. Although it is subtle, we see the restoration of Peter's ministry here. Again, only days before Peter had denied the Lord Jesus Christ. He was forgiven by Jesus, but right here we see that he was restored to ministry.
The next verse we see what appears to be a repeat of the first questioning:
16 He said to him again a second time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love (agapeo) Me?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love (phileo) You." He said to him, "Tend My sheep."
Here, again, we see that Jesus asks Peter if he loved Him as God loves Jesus, with agapeo love. Again, Peter responds by saying, in essence, "Yes, I love you as a good friend".
The next phrase is interesting "Tend my sheep", with the translation being "Feed my sheep" in the KJV. The greek word for tend, or feed in the KJV is poimaine (poi mah ee nay), which means, according to Strongs,
"to tend as a shepherd of (figuratively, supervisor):
KJV-- feed (cattle), rule.
It seems that in many churches today there is the idea that we must discipline the kids and teach the adults. This is not true, according to Jesus Christ himself. As I mentioned earlier, we must work with the young and the young in the faith.
When it comes to adults, those that have been in the faith for a while, we see most churches do just the opposite of what Jesus tells Peter to do here. In ministry, the pastors or elders of a church are to shepherd or guide the flock. If there is a situation where one of the flock gets off of the path, then the leadership of the church is to take the shepherd's crook of the Word and pull that sheep back in line. Now you can see why so many churches falter and fail today--it's because of either a lack of knowledge, or from knowing precisely what the Word of God says and ignoring it. This is where the leadership must lovingly guide that person in the ways of God.
III) Three's A Charm
Now, let's look at verse 17, where things change again:
17 He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus said to him, "Feed My sheep.
(NKJ)
Sounds the same again, doesn't it? But we see a dramatic change again. Let me read this to you using the actual Greek "love" words:
17 He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you "phileo" Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you "phileo" Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I "phileo" You." Jesus said to him, "Feed My sheep.
Jesus, seeing the humbleness in the eyes of Peter, who knew that he could fall because he had, stooped down to His level and showed Peter his love by showing that he loved him enough to do just that. What's amazing to me is that we might miss something else here--God always stoops to meet us. There is a love for us that God has in His very being that stoops to meet us. Peter could not show that agapeo love because he wasn't truly indwelt by the Holy Spirit, and he didn't have the capacity to love Jesus like this. A few verses back in John Chapter 20 we see that Jesus "breathed on the disciples and gave them the Holy Spirit." It's my take that although Jesus "gave" them the Holy Spirit, it was not an indwelling or baptism of the Holy Spirit but the presence of the Holy Spirit until the day of Pentecost.
The last phrase, "Feed my sheep" conveys the thought of teaching the adults the truth of the Word of God.
When you look at others, we must show agapeo love.
A love that is a love of the will, love that has no strings attached, a love for the unloveable.
A love that is generated by God, just the same as the love that God the Father has
for God the Son.
And in a marriage, all three loves can exist and should exist:
Eros, a physical love;
phileo, a love because of friendship and
agapeo love, a love that is generated by God.
The Lord Jesus Christ, stooped down to commune with the disciples, and he does the same with us. When we were yet unsaved, Jesus Christ stooped down to save us, and gave us the ability to have trustworthy faith in Him. The death, the separation from God the Father and God the Holy Spirit 2000 years ago on the cross so that you and I could be with Him forever and ever.
