This week has been a bit stressful for me. We have had some unrest in our church body. Some negative comments have been made. We have lost a major player in our worship team along with his family. I, as the pastor, was taking the heat for things I really could not understand. However, I want you to know I handled the criticism with gentleness toward this couple. I encouraged them to stay and work through any problems. Although, at times, I think they wanted me to insist or recommend they leave, I refused to do so.
I have decided to take this opportunity to teach on gentleness and having a gentle spirit. I am not sure if you will encounter either party but if you do, please keep the spiritual fruit of a gentle spirit about you.
Let us begin by understanding the word “gentleness.” When we hear that word, we may think of someone who is considerate or kind. Or maybe you think of something that is not harsh or severe but rather mild and soft.
This week I rode a camel at the Renaissance Festival along with Debbie and Ava. The owners advertised it as a gentle giant. It was led around a very short track by its handler. Debbie noticed him feeding the camel something as they walked. He informed her that it was chewed tobacco from his own mouth. The camel recognized the order on his hands as his handler and it kept the camel from becoming bored. I shudder to think what a bored camel might do.
I did some research on camels and discovered they have an average height of 8 feet. They have the ability to carry over 900 pounds. Their mouths are large with 34 strong, sharp teeth. They will kick if threatened. Suddenly camels do not sound very gentle. However, they are gentle when properly handled. This gentleness is the type described in the Bible.
The word “gentleness” in the Bible is comprised of two words; one meaning “To endure- often unpleasant circumstances.” the other meaning is “the positive moral quality of dealing with people in a kind manner.” In other words, “gentleness” is strength under control. It is enduring, in a kind manner, a hardship created by a person therefore displaying God’s positive moral quality of gentleness.
Today’s teaching is about being understanding, being gracious, being tender, being reachable, and being self-controlled. If we desire to have the spiritual fruit of gentleness in our lives then we must be understanding.
Philippians 2:3-8 “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.”
We must have the same attitude that Jesus possessed. He was God in flesh. Yet He considered himself a servant to the masses that surrounded him. He was God in flesh. Yet He turned his back on all of his divine privileges.
How do we treat people who are in service to us? Do we come across as arrogant, wanting to remind them of their role? Are we less than friendly to the cashier, bank teller, or waitress? Do we demand our own way based on the consumer mentality that the customer is always right?
If Jesus were here today, how would He treat these people? Would He be humble, being more concerned about how their day was going than his own? Would He be interested in their struggles and difficulties? Would He puff-up and say “Don’t you know who I am?” He was God and He humbled himself. Should we do less?
Not only are we to be gentle to others but also to our spouses.
1 Peter 3:4-5 “You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands.”
Wives are to exhibit a spirit of gentleness. They are to deal with their husbands in a kind, not controlling manner. It is their trust in God, not their man, yet excepting his role as the husband that true beauty is found.
There is a Hebrew word for desire that we need to examine. It is found three times in the Bible, once in Song of Solomon and twice in Genesis. In Genesis 4:7 God warns Cain that sin is crouching at his door desiring to control him. We find that same Hebrew word in Genesis 3:16.
After the fall of humanity, God began doling out curses. For the serpent, it was crawling on his belly. For man, it was working. For woman it was painful childbirth and the desire to control her husband. There is a desire in wives, born through sin, to control their husbands. We often fail to recognize that as a curse and it leads to rash decisions and shaky marriage foundations. Adam was standing with her when she listened to satan. Why did he not interfere? I believe his desire to please his wife was stronger than his desire to please God. He chose to worship the creation over the creator.
1 Peter 3:7 “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”
Husbands, we are to treat our wives with gentle understanding. We should have a stronger personality than she does. It is God’s design. We should rule over her as God commanded. However, we must recognize her equality with us as fellow Christians and in doing that listen to her input. The most important point in all of this is to seek God before making decisions. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered as you seek God.
If we desire to have the spiritual fruit of gentleness in our lives then we must be gracious.
Galatians 6:1 “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.”
We must treat those who have fallen with meekness. We are to be guided by the Holy Spirit not by the desire to appear godlier. “Well, they got what was coming to them.” “I told you so.”
Remember the story of the woman caught in adultery? Everyone but Jesus wanted to stone her to death. How did Jesus, guided by the Spirit, deal with her? He first defended her; “You without sin cast the first stone.” Then He addressed her sin in private. “Go and sin no more. “ He handled the situation with gentleness.
Romans 15:7 instructs us to “Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.” How much does God endure from us? How accepted are we by him?
After we have done all that we can to restore someone and yet they refuse to listen or chose to leave the right path, what do we do? There are numerous references in the Bible to allowing them to separate from the body. However, you always leave the door open for restoration.
If we desire to have the spiritual fruit of gentleness in our lives then we must be tender.
James 3:16-17 “For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.”
The Bible warns us time after time to beware of pride and selfish ambition. It tells us not to think more highly of ourselves than we should. Those things bring about disorder and disharmony. We are not to live by our own wisdom or the wisdom of man. We are to walk in the wisdom of the Spirit.
When we walk in the Spirit, we will exhibit consideration, treating others, as we would want to be treated. We may be called upon to yield our desires to the desires of others. We are about accomplishing God’s call on our lives through our good deeds.
Let it be said that I as your pastor have never shown favoritism toward anyone. I love each of you equally as God loves each of us equally. I am sincere when I say I care about you. I am sincere when I say I want each of you to grow in the Lord.
God’s Word gives me this directive. “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth.” (2 Timothy 2:24-25) I pray that I measure up to that standard.
There are times, however, that no matter how sincere, loving, and yielding we might be, it is not enough. There comes a time when the resolution to a situation involves separation. This also must be done with gentleness.
If we desire to have the spiritual fruit of gentleness in our lives then we must be reachable.
James 1:21 “So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.”
Not many of us enjoy looking at ourselves in the mirror. I know some of you do but I don’t. I see the results of all my years here on earth when I do so. I can dye my hair, shave my beard and wear a girdle. But it does not change my age.
God’s word is often like that mirror. It illuminates all of the filth and evil that we carry around with us. God has planted his word into our hearts so that we can live lives of gentleness. For him to do so though we must be reachable. We must be willing to here his words of correction and reproof without becoming offended. These words save our souls.
When I was in supervision I had Proverbs 13:18 hanging on my wall. “If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept correction, you will be honored.” When someone felt that, I was being unfair I reminded them that criticism is a good thing if it led to correction.
God’s Word is a positive influence in our lives if we allow it to correct our paths and not become offended. If God’s word offends you, perhaps you have a situation in your spiritual life that needs to be addressed.
If we desire to have the spiritual fruit of gentleness in our lives then we must have self-control.
1 Peter 2:23 “He did not retaliate when he was insulted,
nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.”
We have already established that Jesus was God. He told Peter that He could call upon 12 legions of angels to rescue him. He chose instead to be self-controlled. Through all the insults and suffering, He chose not to react.
Jesus said that when someone strikes you on one cheek turn the other. He did not mean to let someone physically beat you. What He meant was if someone insulted, you just turn away. Remember gentleness is strength under control. As the insults flew at me, not only this week but also other weeks, I chose to turn the other cheek.
Some of you might be thinking, “Well, that’s easy for you do.” I assure you it was not. I had a gun loaded with comebacks. I chose not to pull the trigger.
It is important to have self-control. If you are not controlled by yourself, others will control you. Or you will be controlled by the circumstances. Self-control keeps me in control and no one else. Self-control keeps me from allowing satan to take away my victory over him. Romans 12:21 states “Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.”
Just like the camel, we have the ability to bite and kick. We have the strength to do great damage. We also have the strength to do great good.
Jesus is our handler. We must recognize his scent in everything we do. We must allow the Holy Spirit to take the reins and lead us around the path that He has planned. If you have been hurt or insulted, I pray that you will allow the spiritual fruit of gentleness to be exhibited.
