Funeral Service for Bob ....
2nd Timothy 4:7-8
Good morning. My name is David Henderson and I am privileged to be Bob's pastor and have had the good fortune to have known he and Vivian for nearly 20 years. On behalf of the family I want to thank you of you for your presence here today and of course for your prayers. These two things mean so much to them.
Obituary for Robert
Robert ............, age 89, passed away on Oct. 9th. He is survived by son Stephen (Tina); 5 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren. Bob is predeceased by his wife Vivian & children Phillip & Karen. He served in the U.S. Army during WWII. In lieu of flowers the family has requested that donations be made to Eagles Landing Baptist Church.
Prayer
Today we find ourselves in the valley of death that the Psalmist talked about…..it is a difficult place to be but it is also a place where we can experience the presence of God. I have discovered through the years that we are never really completely ready to lose someone who we are close to. I have stood here and helped with services for people who were very young, in the prime of their lives and as well for many who may have lived a long time and in neither case is the family ready. Nor do we understand God’s timing. So one of the questions we often ask at the time of losing a loved one is why? We cannot help it but we often ask why things happen as they do. Paul the apostle said And now we see thru a dark glass….it’s not clear but one day we will see face to face...he was saying it is not all clear now but one day it will be...there are things we do not understand right now but one day we will understand...that day according to Paul will be when we see Jesus Christ face to face. I look forward to that day. I know you do also.
The apostle Paul was a tentmaker. So it is not surprising that he compared our bodies to a tent. 2 Corinthians 5:1-6. “For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down—when we die and leave these bodies—we will have a home in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. [2] We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long for the day when we will put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. [4] Our dying bodies make us groan and sigh.
Our family used to go camping when our children were much younger. One of the things I never seen is a lifetime warranty on a tent. They don’t exist. In Bob’s last years his tent/health began to decline. Vivian had gone to be with the Lord. Two of their children, Karen and Phillip had also gone to be with the Lord. He missed them. Sometimes we find ourselves in the place where as that old gospel song says…we are homesick for a place we’ve never been.
Paul said these bodies make us groan and sigh. These bodies make us groan and sigh. When we get sick. We groan and complain. When arthritis sets in we moan. When we step on the scales and they say we are gaining weight we moan! Our bodies are much like a tent; they rip and they tear, they wear out, they grow old and they don’t last as long as we would like for them to.
Fortunately the scripture reminds us of a place called heaven where if we know Christ as our Savior and Lord …..it is a place where..
* there will be no more sickness
* no more death no more funerals to attend
* we will never grow tired or weary
* no more hospitals
* no more need for doctors
* no more darkness
* no more tears
That is where Bob is today. Bob and I talked about His relationship with Christ on many occasions. I first met Bob and Vivian sometime in the mid 90’s when I served at First Baptist church here. I was fortunate to be the Bible teacher for the Fellowship class…we had as many as 90 people who attended. Bob and Vivian were in that group. Both of them were very faithful. That class had a reputation for (1) having a love for the Bible and the teaching of the Word and (2) also a love for people. If someone was absent on Sunday they always knew where they were. Bob and Vivian were a part of that group.
On many occasions we were able to talk about the Lord and pray together in their home. Both of them were very caring people and they would often offer encouragement to others in the class. For me it’s hard to talk about Bob without mentioning Vivian. They had a marriage of over 62 years. That is very rare today.
Almost every day when I drive to my office I drive past Emerson drive. It leads into the area where Bob and Vivian lived. I would and will continue to think about them each time I go by. On a number of occasions I would make the turn and stop and visit with them. I was always welcomed with a smile, an offer of something to drink and good conversation.
Often as I drive past that area I would pause and breathe a prayer for Bob. Bob was not only a member of our church, he was a friend. I loved him and Vivian and they loved me back. Bob will be missed. Bob was loved by the people of Eagle’s Landing. He had an infectious smile; he is a handsome guy, always dressed sharp and he had more hair than men half his age. No comments.
When Bob and Vivian came to our church we had just gotten started. We are a 13 year old church. Bob was over 75 years of age when they joined. I am still impressed that a couple that age would come to help a young church get started. He will be missed in our congregation. I am sure I will find myself looking for him tomorrow. Always in the same spot on Sundays. I know you miss him as well. Many of you have been very close to Bob and your friendship is one of the things that kept Bob going. His deacon, Holland Barnes had regular contact with Bob. As a pastor I am very grateful for many of you who have done that sort of thing. Duke, their dog misses him. I understand that Duke has been going from room to room, even checking the closets to try and find him. Bob and Vivian have had Duke for 5 years and were very attached.
Bob worked in the grocery business for over 20 years and also in the funeral business for about the same length of time. Bob was a hard worker and he set a wonderful example in his work ethic for his children.
There is a book that made the NY times bestseller list that is titled Tuesdays with Morrie. It quickly went to the top of the list when our president announced that he was reading the book. It is the story of a man named Mitch and his former teacher whose name was Morrie. Mitch was a good student when he was in college but he became very concerned about how much he was going to make when he left college. His entire focus was on material things that he would be able to get...a bigger house...a new car...he was driven to get as much as he could.
Mitch was very fond of Morrie and he always looked up to him in his college years but he lost track of him after he graduated...he was simply too busy to keep up. But some things happened in his life and he needed to talk with someone and he really wanted to talk with Morrie. To his surprise he learned that Morrie was still living in the area. So he began to go and visit Morrie every Tuesday and they would sit and talk. He learned that Morrie was dying and Morrie told Mitch ...he said I was your teacher for a long time in college and I tried to teach you lessons about life and how to live your life...he said now I want to talk with you about some lessons I am learning about dying. They meet every Tuesday for fourteen weeks, until Morrie has taught Mitch everything he needs to know about life, finding himself, and truly living.
They began the first Tuesday talking about the world and they ended on the fourteenth Tuesday by saying good-bye. During the Tuesdays in between the first and the last, they talked about feeling sorry for oneself, regrets, death, family, emotions, the fear of aging, money, how love goes on, marriage, forgiveness. Morrie teaches Mitch that the most important thing in life is to learn how to love. We are so wrapped up in our fast-paced world, with materialistic objects, and with the things that really do not matter in the long run, that we often forget to stand back and really enjoy life.
One Tuesday...arrived ...people coming and going in black. He assumed Morrie had died. When Morrie’s wife met him at the door he apologized that he did not know. His wife said well Morrie is still very much alive but that he always wanted to have a living funeral so that he would not have to wait until he was dead to be able to hear all the good things that would be said about him. All of us have things that we want to say to others...things that perhaps we even need to say but we do not take time to do so. We need to choose to express our concern and love for people while there is time to do so. We also need to take time to make the important decisions in life as well....because there are too many times when we focus too much on the things that really are not so important. Good advice.
Bob was fun to be around. He had a good sense of humor and often he made me really laugh. Like the rest of us he enjoyed a good meal. Some of you took time to enjoy a meal with Bob. Some of you invited him into your homes. I wasn’t surprised that one of the last things he asked for at the hospital was some mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes.
Please Keep the Fork
A woman named Martha called her pastor one day. She was one of the older members of the church and also one of the most faithful. The sound of her voice on the other end of the telephone always brought a smile to the pastor. This time, however, there seemed to be an unusual tone to her words. “Preacher, could you stop by this afternoon? I need to talk with you.”
“Of course, I’ll be there around three. When he arrived, it didn’t take long for the pastor to discover that their conversation was going to take a very serious note. As they sat facing each other in the quiet of her small living room. Martha shared the news that her doctor had just discovered a tumor. “He says I probably have six months to live.” The pastor said “I’m so sorry ..…” but before Jim could finish, Martha interrupted.
She said “Don’t be. The Lord has been good. I have lived a long life. I’m ready to go. You know that.” “But I do want to talk with you about my funeral. I have been thinking about it, and there are things that I know I want.”
The two talked quietly for a long time. They talked about Martha’s favorite hymns, the passages of Scripture that had meant so much to her through the years. When it seemed that they had covered just about everything, she paused, looked up at Jim with a twinkle in her eye, and then added, “One more thing, preacher. When they bury me, I want my old Bible in one hand and a fork in the other.” “A fork?” Pastor was caught off guard. “Why do you want to be buried with a fork?”
“I have been thinking about all of the church dinners and banquets that I attended through the years,” she explained, “I couldn’t begin to count them all. But one thing sticks in my mind, “At those really nice get- togethers, when the meal was almost finished, a server or maybe the hostess would come by to collect the dirty dishes. I can hear the words now. Sometimes somebody would lean over my shoulder and whisper, ‘You can keep your fork.’ And do you know what that meant? Dessert was coming! It didn’t mean a cup of Jell-O or pudding or even a dish of ice cream. You don’t need a fork for that. It meant the good stuff, like chocolate cake or cherry pie! When they told me I could keep my fork, I knew the best was yet to come. “That’s exactly what I want people to talk about at my funeral. Oh, they can talk about all the good times we had together. That would be nice. “But when they walk by and remember me I want them to turn to one another and say, ‘Why the fork?’ That’s when I want you to tell them, that I kept my fork because the best is yet to come!”
And it is. It is for all of us who have placed our faith in God. Bob did that years ago and the best is yet to come.
Bob, like all of us had people he needed to make peace with. And to his credit he did it. And some of that he did in this past year. I sense that perhaps God allowed him to live long enough to take care of those matters. That’s God’s grace. And when we do it we receive God’s peace. Bob told me two days before his death…Pastor I’m at peace with my friends and family and I’m at peace with the Lord. Whatever God decides I’m OK with it. And he had a very contented look on his face as he said those words.
Bob Alexander knew Jesus as His Lord and Savior. Today we rest in the fact that he is now with his Lord, rejoined with his wife Vivian…his son Phillip and his daughter Karen. Karen had polio since the age of 5. I can see Bob smiling now as he sees her running up and down the streets of heaven. If Bob could say anything to us today I think he would say, “give your life to Jesus. If you don’t know Jesus, give your life to Him today.”
It is the best decision you will ever make.
PRAYER
