From Pleasant to Bitter
Chuck Sligh
Series: Ruth
July 28, 2013
TEXT: Ruth 1:19-22 – “So they two went until they came to Bethlehem. And it came to pass, when they were come to Bethlehem, that all the city was moved about them, and they said, Is this Naomi? 20 And she said unto them, Call me not Naomi, call me Mara: for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me. 21 I went out full, and the LORD hath brought me home again empty: why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the LORD hath testified against me, and the Almighty hath afflicted me? 22 So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabitess, her daughter in law, with her, which returned out of the country of Moab: and they came to Bethlehem in the beginning of barley harvest.”
INTRODUCTION
Illus. – I had an relative who claimed to be a believer. Her husband died when they were in their 50s. They had been looking forward to retiring in about 6-7 more years.
But after he died, she discovered that he had left her in a terrible financial state. He never had been a good money handler, but because he handled all the finances for the family, the extent of his malfeasance only became apparent after his death.
She became furious with him for leaving her in a condition that made her have to work later in life and not be able to retire when she had planned. She had years of loans he had made without her knowledge she had to pay off. He had medical insurance, but there were thousands of dollars not covered by his insurance because he had made a foolish choice in the insurance he chose.
This anger at him turned into a seething resentment against him, which in time turned into bitterness—first against HIM, and later against GOD. I heard her say several times, “Why did God do this to me? It’s not fair.”
That relative, who has since died, was a modern day illustration of the danger of doing what Naomi did in our story—blaming our circumstances on God and not dealing with bitterness. Let’s look at this in this passage of Scripture in Ruth:
I. NOTE FIRST THAT GOD HAD ALLOWED SOME BAD THINGS TO HAPPEN IN NAOMI’S LIFE
Verse 3 says, “And Elimelech Naomi’s husband died; and she was left, and her two sons.” Look also at verse 5 – “And Mahlon and Chilion died also both of them; and the woman was left of her two sons and her husband.”
There are a number of reasons God allows trials in our lives.
• First are what I would call “consequential trials,” that is, those that are the harvest of our own actions.
Paul said in Galatians 6:7 – “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” This not necessarily God’s judgment or special hand on a person.
It’s simply that life’s decisions have consequences based on certain moral laws God has set in place.
For instance, if you are sexually immoral, you will have at least a guilty conscience, and you may get a sexually transmitted disease. This isn’t God’s fault, or in any way a direct action on His part. If we make wrong choices, we will experience the natural consequences of those choices. We can hardly place the blame for these things at God’s feet since we are the authors of our own autobiographies.
• Second, are trials that I would call “corrective trials,” that is, trials God allows as discipline to correct a sin or wrong habit in our lives.
If we do not take care of sin or sinful habits through confession, God wants to put us back on the right road, and He does so by disciplining us.
Look with me at Hebrews 12:5-7 – “And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?”
God loves us too much to allow us to continue in actions that will hurt us, so He lovingly allows trials in our lives to cause us examine ourselves and take actions to change our behavior and attitudes. What is the result?—Look at verse 11 – “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”
• Third is what I call “constructive trials”—trials God allows in our lives to make us better Christians, to build His character in us or to make us be more dependent upon Him.
Psalm 119:67 says, “Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word.” And the psalmist tells us in Psalm 119:71 – “It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.”
A New Testament illustration is expressed by Paul in Romans 5:3-5a – “And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4 And patience, experience [the ESV translates this word as “character”]; and experience [or character], hope: 5 And hope maketh not ashamed…”
How do we get all those good things? Well, I hate to tell you, but they come through TRIBULATIONS.
• Lastly, are what I call “crowning trials”—trials God allows just to bring glory to His name and accomplish His glorious purposes.
LAZARUS’S death is an example of this. It’s sad that Lazarus died. But God allowed it so that Jesus could raise him from the dead, revealing God’s power and Jesus’s deity.
JOB is another example of one who was afflicted to bring glory to God by teaching us about trials through the book of Job.
This is something we may chafe at if we’re not thinking the way God thinks. We naturally recoil from the idea of suffering to accomplish some purpose of God. But our attitude changes the more we know God and the more we want to serve His purposes and be a participant in His Kingdom on earth.
In 2 Corinthians 4, Paul details all the suffering and persecutions he has endured to serve God. Does he resent it? No. He says in verse 17, “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” What a powerful way to live!
We don’t know for sure which of these reasons God allowed Naomi to suffer the tribulations she did.
It seems that her problems may have stemmed directly in consequence of their decision to move away from the house of bread and praise to the pagan, worldly land of Moab. If so, she had no one to blame for her troubles but herself and her husband. But SHE didn’t see it that way.
II. SECOND, PLEASE NOTE THAT NAOMI DEVELOPED A WRONG VIEW OF GOD’S DEALINGS IN HER LIFE – Verse 13b – “…for it grieveth me much for your sakes that the hand of the LORD is gone out against me.”
Now that’s almost a blasphemous thing to say, isn’t it? If her trials were “consequential” in nature, that is, the consequence of her and Elimalech’s decisions, it wasn’t the Lord’s hand that was against her; she was living out the results of bad choices. If they were God’s DISCIPLINE on specific sins or sin patterns in her life, then God’s hand was there to bring her back into His will and fellowship. On the other hand, if her trials were for other reasons besides sin, then God would use it for a positive purpose in her life, for Romans 8:28 promises that “…all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
My point being that no matter what the source of her trials, her anger against God was misplaced and the result of a heart not resting in God’s goodness.
Look now at verse 20 – “And she said unto them, Call me not Naomi, call me Mara: for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me.”
What did she mean by this? Remember that the meaning of names was more important in ancient society than today, and in Ruth, the meaning of names is essential to understand the book. Naomi means “pleasant” while Mara means “bitter.”
So she was saying, in effect, “Don’t call me Pleasant anymore. Call me the opposite of that—BITTER—because I am just a bitter old woman!”
Notice why she was telling everyone to call her Bitter instead of Pleasant at the end of verse 20– “…for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me.”
Look also at verse 21 – “I went out full, and the LORD hath brought me home again empty: why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the LORD hath testified against me, and the Almighty hath afflicted me?”
Naomi had developed a deep resentment and bitterness against God. She was questioning God’s wisdom in His dealings with her—“Why is God doing this to me? I don’t deserve this. He’s got some kind of vendetta against me.”
Now before you judge Naomi too harshly, let’s be honest and admit that, though we may not have stooped to this degree of resentment that Naomi did, we too have probably questioned the Lord’s dealings in our lives during times of trials. I know I certainly have. But to do so is to look at our trials through the eyes of unbelief. In the end the Lord has a purpose in what He wants to accomplish in our lives, and trials are the tools God uses to mold and form us.
Just as with a diamond in the rough, where the craftsman must take sharp tools to chip away the rock growing around the diamond to reveal its glorious beauty, so must God, the Master-Craftsman use trials to chip away the things in our lies that do not conform to His character and will in our lives.
III. NOTE THIRD THAT NAOMI’S COUNTENANCE, ATTITUDE AND BEHAVIOR CHANGED BECAUSE OF HER BITTERNESS – Verse 19b – “… And it came to pass, when they were come to Bethlehem, that all the city was moved about them, and they said, Is this Naomi?”
The people were shocked! Naomi didn’t even look the same.
Part of their surprise, I’m sure, was the change that resulted from aging. But that is to be expected when one has been away for some time. Personally, I think something else is intimated here. Doctors tell us that bitterness causes one’s face to become hard-looking because bitterness can cause clinching and grinding of the teeth, resulting in the consequent characteristic hard-set of the jaw we often see with bitter people.
Not only did Naomi LOOK different, but she also had attitudes and actions that revealed a bitter spirit.
• Note her SARCASM is verse 12 – “Turn again, my daughters, go your way; for I am too old to have an husband. If I should say, I have hope, if I should have an husband also to night, and should also bear sons; 13 Would ye tarry for them till they were grown? would ye stay for them from having husbands? nay, my daughters; for it grieveth me much for your sakes that the hand of the LORD is gone out against me.” (EXPAND)
• Note also her NEGATIVITY and PESSIMISM in verse 21 – “I went out full, and the LORD hath brought me home again empty: why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the LORD hath testified against me, and the Almighty hath afflicted me?”
She had developed a negative mindset in which she saw only bad in her circumstances. The truth was that she did NOT return empty. She had Ruth, HER GREATEST ASSET! But you see, that’s what bitterness does: it blurs your vision to God’s goodness and blessings.
There are mental, emotional, physical and spiritual effects of brooding over resentments and developing a spirit of bitterness:
• First, doctors tell us there are PHYSICAL consequences of bitterness, resulting in chemical imbalances, facial feature changes and other health problems.
• There are also SPIRITUAL consequences of bitterness, such as an inability to trust God, doubts about salvation (Cp. Matt. 6:12-15), and hindrances to spiritual development as we buck against God’s character development in our lives.
• Third, bitterness has EMOTIONAL consequences, including depression, loss of emotional as well as physical energy, and a tendency to create an emotional focus causing a person to actually become like the person they are bitter towards.
• Bitterness can even have MENTAL consequences.
A medical doctor illustrates the mental consequences of holding resentments with this description:
The moment I start hating a man, I become his slave. I can’t enjoy my work any more because he controls my thoughts. My resentments produce too many stress hormones in my body, and I become fatigued after only a few hours of work. The work I formerly enjoyed is now drudgery. Even vacations cease to give me pleasure…I can’t escape his tyrannical grasp on my mind. When the waiter serves me porterhouse steak, it might as well be stale bread and water. My teeth chew the food, and I swallow it, but the man I hate will not permit me to enjoy its taste. (McMillen, p. 72)
It is for this reason Solomon wrote, “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.” (Proverbs 15:17) In modern-day English that means, “Better is a meal of vegetables where love is than a T-bone steak where hatred is.”
• Finally, bitterness MULTIPLIES ITS CONSEQUENCES.
Bitterness is all too easily and all too often passed on from one generation to another, thus affecting hundreds of descendants. Children often learn how to respond to problems the way their parents did. This is why Hebrews 12:15 warns us to carefully watch against bitterness… “lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.” Bitterness can be a root that defiles a whole family tree.
IV. SO HOW SHOULD WE DEAL WITH BITTERNESS SO WE DON’T END UP LIKE NAOMI?
• If you’re bitter or resentful against someone who has offended you, you simply have to intentionally forgive that person.
Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4 – “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. 4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.”
Jesus is essentially saying you must always forgive, no matter how often someone offends you. That may not seem just or fair, but in the end, it would be better to repeatedly forgive than to suffer all the consequences bitterness causes.
Paul tells us this in Ephesians 4:32 – “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
• If you’re dealing bitterness against God, here are some things for you to bear in mind, or some things to share with someone who struggles with bitterness against God:
1) Remember that if you are facing great problems and trials as a believer, you are in good company.
The Bible is replete with good people who went through terrible trials:
> MOSES suffered from chronic grumbling and opposition from the Israelites.
> JOSEPH was sold into slavery by his own brothers; falsely accused by an evil temptress; and imprisoned on false charges.
> JOB, the most righteous man on earth in his day, lost EVERYTHING—his belongings, his children, and his health.
> DAVID was bedeviled by troubles and opposition from the moment he was anointed king until his death.
> The OLD TESTAMENT PROPHETS were persecuted mercilessly.
> JESUS was hounded His whole ministry by opposition, and was finally executed.
> The APOSTLES faced many trials and persecutions.
2) Second, recognize that God has a purpose in trials, as we discussed earlier.
He knows what He is doing in our lives and what is best for us. And He gives us that hopeful promise in Romans 8:28 – “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
3) Third, remember that God is always just and righteous in all His dealings.
4) Lastly, have faith in God – Hebrews 11:6 – “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”
It’s easy to trust God in the easy times. It’s in the hard times that our faith is demonstrated and tested. It’s in these times that we grow and mature in our faith and when God’s character is molded in us. Don’t get bitter in the time of trial; get better by humbly submitting to what is going on in your life and seeking God during those times with all your heart.
