God has a plan for your relationships. In fact, today I want to tell you that things are going to get better! That’s the theme of today’s message. I’m calling this message moving on up!
You remember that show with George & Wheezy? Moving on up? Well wherever you’re at, whatever you’re experiencing, whatever your relationships look like, God wants it to get better. Moving on up. More fulfilling, more rewarding, more exciting, more satisfying. God is pro-healthy relationships.
God came up with the concept of healthy relationships in the first place. It was God who said, Genesis 2:18 NIV: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” How many of you know that’s true? It’s not good for men to be alone, we need you women! We need you. Watch this though, God invented relationships for the fulfillment of man and woman and for His glory so I can say confidently to you, it’s going to get better. Even if it’s great right now, it’s going to get better. And even if things are rough and rocky right now, it’s going to get better. It’s going to get better.
I know something about the love shack. In fact, this is my 16th year of marriage to Tabitha Montgomery Hodges! I know something about what I’m preaching to you about today. So much so that when we got married, our first house looked something like this. It did! It was our own little love shack. We were young and in love and broke and didn’t know any better. Both of us were fulltime students and we lived in a little duplex in Seminary housing. Literally our living room was so small that if I was sitting on the couch, I could answer the front door, get a glass of water from the refrigerator, and change the channel on the TV without a remote control without ever getting up from the comforts of our living room couch! That’s how small our house was. It was so small that if we dropped a tissue, we had wall-to-wall carpeting. That’s small. We put a queen size bed in our bedroom and you literally had to turn sideways to get to the bathroom. It was small. It was so small that our welcome mat just said WELL! That’s small. It was our own little love shack.
So I’m going to teach you what I’ve learned in 16 years of marital bliss, but more than that. I’m going to teach you what I’ve learned in 20 years of ministering to thousands of people, and more importantly than any of that I’m going to teach you what the Bible says, what I’m teaching is on the authority of God’s word, that’s what gives my words power! So you better get ready this is going to be a life-changing series.
How many of you today are married, would you just raise your hand on all of our campuses? Congratulations, it’s going to get better. How about those of you who are in a dating relationship or engaged, where are you? Would you raise your hands? Awww, this is going to be helpful for you. I’m going to help some of you get married and I’m going to help others of you break up! You can thank me later! Where are the single folk? You single people…keep your hands up and look around. All the single ladies! Now keep your hand up if you’re available for lunch! Ok! How about all of those who would say I’m in middle school man, and I’m sitting by my mom and I’m just scared about what you’re going to say to embarrass me in this series. I get that! And I’m going to take it easy…this is going to be a PG series. Don’t worry, but this series is even going to help you. It’s going to be applicable to all of us and I’m believing God to do some amazing things in this series. I’m believing God for some miracles in this series because I can’t think of any topic more relevant, any subject matter more helpful, anything you need right now in your life more than what I’m about to teach you on the topic of romance and relationships, so welcome to the love shack baby, get ready because God is about to speak to you about your relationships!
I don’t know if you can tell it or not, but I’m really burdened over the condition of most marriages and relationships today. I really am. I mean, think about it, this love shack on all of our campuses today, this broken down, beat up, rusty little love shack represents most of our marriages and relationships. Most marriages and relationships are struggling, most are neglected, most are falling apart at the seams and that’s not the way it’s supposed to be! It needs to get better and that’s what this series is really all about. It’s about moving up from the love shack to the love mansion or the love estate or the love castle. We’re moving on up in this series! We’re getting to the place where we’re living out what God wants for us in our relationships.
Can I tell what I think God’s ultimate desire is for your relationship? I think God wants you to fully express and receive, don’t miss this, to give and to get, the attributes of love described in the Bible where it says, I Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Doesn’t that sound like an awesome relationship? Doesn’t that sound like what God wants for you?
But let’s be honest about it, that’s a long ways away from the love shack that most of us live in relationally but I want to tell you how you can get there today and it begins with having the right foundation. Do you have the right foundation? In fact, here’s a question that every one of you need to ask this week. This is your homework. If you’re going to have a better relationship, you’ve got to work on it, so here you go, whether you’re married, or maybe you’re dating or engaged ask each other this question or even if you’re single, ask yourself this question. Here it is: What’s Our Relationship Built On? This is the question. You need to go to dinner, married people leave your children at home. If you can’t go to dinner, go to Starbucks. If you’re afraid that this is going to lead to a heated discussion, order in Chinese, but get somewhere together, turn the tv off, put the cell phones away and look at each other in the eyes and ask, what’s our relationship built on? What’s the foundation of our relationship? If you’re single, order a personal pan pizza and have this conversation with yourself and ask yourself what do I want my relationship to be built on? Too many relationships have the wrong foundation, they’re built on the wrong thing and if you build your relationship on the wrong foundation, you’re going to be stuck at the Love Shack forever! You’re never going to move up until you look down and examine your foundation!
I was watching The Bachelor the other night, it was for research purposes! Gosh, the things I do for you people! So, you know the premise, or at least some of the women here do. The way the show works is a bunch of girls live together in a mansion vying for the heart and attention and love of one dude who’s going to propose to one of them at the end of the season. And this dude, the bachelor, is loving life because all these women all want to be with him and can’t get enough of him and the producers set up the most unrealistic date scenarios that the bachelor takes these women on and they’re flying in helicopters and wearing multi-million dollar jewelry and having love songs sung to them in private concerts and then somehow at the end of every date, they always end up in the hot tub! Everywhere they go there’s a hot tub. So I’m sitting there watching this show thinking it’s no wonder none of these relationships last past the proposal, except season 4 and 7. I mean, at least that’s what they tell me, it’s not like I follow this stuff! But none of them last because they all start with the wrong foundation. I’m sorry, honey but you don’t find the love of your life making out on a dream date in the Canadian Rockies right after he made out with one of your roommates. That’s not the right foundation to build a relationship upon. Dream dates and fancy meals and hot tubs and cuddly sleepovers are not the foundation for successful relationships. Neither are some of the things that we build our relationships on.
For example, if kids are the foundation of your relationship, that’s the wrong foundation because one day kids grow up and leave home and they don’t take your spouse with them. You’re stuck with him or her. If money is the foundation of your relationship. That’s a poor foundation. If sex is the foundation of your relationship, that’s not the right foundation. If you’re trying to make physical attraction the foundation of a relationship, I hate to tell you, but rock hard abs don’t stay rock hard forever, and neither do other body parts you might be attracted to, if you know what I mean! Those are the wrong foundations! Listen to me single people, if you’re looking for love at a club, that’s the wrong foundation. That’s not the foundation you’re going to build a lasting, loving, meaningful, God-honoring relationship on! Come on! What’s your relationship built on? You’ve got to know this! You’ve got to have the right foundation.
I told you earlier, God created man, it wasn’t good for him to be alone, so God created Eve, and He put them into relationship with each other and He was the foundation. Look at this, the Bible says, Genesis 2:21-25 NIV: So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (notice God brought them together! That’s the foundation you want. You want a story that says God brought us together. God led me to him, God led me to her. And this relationship is built on Him. And) The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. (Listen to me. This is God’s desire for your relationship. Oneness. A sense of shared togetherness that cannot be separated. Oneness…we’re so close, we’re so tight, we’re so in this together, we’re so committed, we’re so involved, that there is no separating us. We share the same vision and the same dreams and the same goals and the same aspirations and we’re on the same page because we are one. That’s the ultimate of relationships and that’s what Adam and Eve had with God as the foundation and interestingly enough, the result of that was that, look at it) Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. That’s what God wants for your relationship!! When was the last time you were naked and felt no shame? I mean, I bet that’s a good feeling! Anyways, God was their foundation. Let me tell you something, you want a fulfilling, satisfying, meaningful God-honoring relationship, get God as your foundation!
Now I know it’s awkward for some of you because this whole God thing is new to you, so I’m going to help you today. Let me give you some ideas of how you build your relationship on the foundation of God. These are just some general thoughts.
For starters, I think you need to make church a priority if God is going to be the foundation of your relationship. You need to attend together REGULARLY as a couple or as a family. You need to be here together, hearing the same thing, so you can be growing together in the same direction. I would suggest to you that you get in a group together, this is the year for groups, I want every one of you in a group. We call them community groups and if you and your spouse would join one it would force you at least once a week to have a spiritual conversation with each other. If that doesn’t come naturally, a group is what you need.
I would say to you that you should get involved in volunteering together. Go over there in kid kraze and lead a small group together – that’s how you get God as the foundation! Get your butt out to the volunteer tent. If you’re single, you might meet your mate thru volunteering!
You get God as the foundation when you honor God with your decisions at home, involve Him in your discussions. Include Him in your budget, I’m talking about ways to get God as your foundation. These are the things you want to build your relationship on. Jesus told a story once about a wise man who built his house on rock and Jesus said that the storms blew and the water rose and the house stood strong, but there was also a foolish man who built his house on the sand and when the storms blew and the water rose his house fell with a great crash. The bottom line was it was all about the foundation. If you want your relationship to stand the test of time, to stand up to the storms of this life, to stand against the winds of discouragement and the waters of disappointment, then you’ve got to build your relationship on the foundation of Jesus! You want to live in the love shack and just barely get by, and have a mediocre marriage and a run of the mill relationship, fine! Keep doing what you’ve been doing. But I’m telling you God has more in store for you and it all begins with asking the question, what’s our relationship built on? That’s the question you’ve got to ask!
By the way sir, can I just talk to the men for a minute. I’m just going to confess this for all of us. We suck at this! I’m just being honest and I’m just going to speak to our weaknesses for a moment men. We don’t do a good job men of building on the foundation of Jesus. We feel inadequate and we’re not sure what to say and it doesn’t come naturally to us, so men, can I just let you in on a little secret? And I mean this! Men, your wife thinks you’re sexy when you pray. Come on ladies, back me up here! You start praying at the dinner table and you’re going to like what’s coming for dessert! Single dudes, listen to me, single ladies think it’s hot when you’re in a community group and you’re volunteering. It shows them that you can be a spiritual leader and that you’re in touch with more than just physical – but that you get there’s a spiritual component to every relationship. Husbands, I’m telling you, you go home sir and read your Bible and pray with your kids, you’ll get lucky tonight! I’m just talking to the men for a minute, ladies excuse me. Put Jesus before all that other junk, lead your family well spiritually, maybe engage a little bit in worship, I’m not saying you’ve got to do the full on touch down hand raise, you can just carry the baby if you want, but engage, get in tune with Jesus, bring your family to church, read your Bible, make Godly choices, lead your family to give financially and your relationships will be on the right foundation.
So I want to give you permission to do this, to build your relationship on the foundation of Jesus, and I know I’ve given you a lot of ideas, and a lot of verses and this is kind of an introductory message, but I want to issue to you a specific challenge today. I want to ask every single one of you to participate in my challenge today. In fact, I’ll up the ante a bit, I double dog dare you to participate! In addition to asking this question, What’s Our Relationship Built On? Here’s what I want to challenge you to do: If you’re in a relationship, I want you to pray with your partner, together, out loud, for the next 5 days. A prayer a day for the next 5 days. If you’re not in a relationship, maybe you’re a student, maybe you’re a single adult, maybe you’ve been in a relationship but you’re single again, I want you to pray about your future relationship for the next 5 days. And I’m going to help you because I would venture to say that for 70 – 80 % of you this is new territory. So I’m going to help you. On our web notes that you can either download or subscribe to at watersedgechurch.net, I’m going to give you a prayer to pray every single day and if you’re not comfortable praying, you don’t know what you would say, you’re not sure that you can do this, then all you have to do is sit down at dinner or first thing in the morning or before you go to bed at night and together take the web notes and read the prayer that I’m giving you. Just read it. If that’s not your style, cool! Pray your own prayer, but everybody here for the next 5 days, we’re going to work on the foundation because listen you’ve got to look down before you can move up! You’ve got to look down before you can move up.
I came home one day this week from work and the back door was open and the back patio was all in disarray, chairs were rearranged and there was a container of bird seed sitting there and my kids quickly informed me that a bird was stuck in the chimney of our outdoor fireplace. We’ve got this big brick fireplace and the top of it is enclosed with a metal mesh and sure enough there’s this little bird, just fluttering away beating up against this metal mesh at the top of the fireplace. He was stuck. But here’s the interesting thing. At the bottom of the fireplace, there’s a 3X3 opening and nothing was obstructing that little bird from it. He just had had to be willing to fly down before he could fly back up. Sometimes you’ve got to go down before you can go up and that’s what I want you to do this week with your relationship. I’m asking you to go to down, all the way to the foundation, all the way down to prayer…and I’m believing, listen that when you do, you’ll get on your way to moving up. How many of you receive this message today and you’re going to take my challenge – put your hands together!
