Clarity on Purity and Morality
This morning I want to talk to you about what could have been another of the Forgotten Virtues series. There is no question about it, Purity and Morality are two more virtues that seem to be disappearing in American culture.
WARNING: This message will be a little uncomfortable for some to hear. I understand that. If you feel too uncomfortable, just say “Lord, I am glad I don’t have to be the one delivering this message!”
If you have elementary age children, this is one of those messages where I might recommend you take advantage of Next Gen ministry opportunities since some of the content of today’s message will be unsuitable for elementary age children.
There is a lot of confusion in today’s culture regarding the matter of sexual morality.
Sex is good—it is a gift from God and it is enjoyed on the highest level when it is shared within the confines of a faithful and committed marriage between a man and his wife.
So, when it comes to matters of morality and sexual purity, it is natural to ask, who decides what’s right?
Culture? Do you really want to allow Hollywood to set the standard?
Should a matter of such huge importance be left up to popular opinion?
How about the Government? Should we turn to the government for answers to questions about morality and purity?
We need answers. We need a point of reference…a foundation for truth.
What we need an authority on the subject of sexuality and morality.
I believe the Word of God provides exactly that. This morning I want to us to find out what the Bible has to say on the subject morality and sexual purity.
As a follower of Christ, I not only want to hear what the Bible has to say, and I want to learn how to apply these biblical standards the way I will choose to live my life.
ORANGE – Partnership – GRAPHIC Light/Church – Heart/Home
This is another important area where parents and the church need to partner together. In a few minutes parents, I am going to tell you how the church can partner with you to help you talk about this important subject with your middle school and high school students over the next three weeks.
Our goal is to help teach the next generation what is right and what is best.
They are constantly inundated with images and messages that glorify immorality, impurity, and sexual sin. In the midst of these lies, we need to direct them to the Truth.
1 Thessalonians 4 – This is where the Apostle Paul tells us that lustful passions should not control God's people.
We talked recently about living an integrated life, where our beliefs match our behavior.
Paul reminds us that being a committed disciple of Jesus Christ is about more than just showing up at church on Sunday.
It is about more than having a Bible app on your phone.
A profession of faith is proven, not just proclaimed. James speaks to this too when he challenged us to be doers, not merely hearers of the Word.
As we have talked about before, being a follower of Jesus Christ means living in obedience to His Word and His will for our lives.
So, what does obedience look like in the matter of sexuality and morality? Paul tells us…
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 (NLT)
3 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.
4 Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—
5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.
1 Thessalonians 4:7 (NLT)
7 God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.
Is God condemning sex? Absolutely not! God created sex. But His Word teaches that the sex is to be enjoyed only within the boundaries of a lifelong, committed marriage between a man and wife.
In Matthew 19:4-6 (NLT) Jesus said, “God made them male and female. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
God has called us to holy living.
Hebrews 13:4 (NLT)
4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
We could go to numerous passages all pointing to the facts that God created sex to be enjoyed within the boundaries of marriage.
Culture says, don’t worry about that. “if it feels good do it.” The prevailing attitude is that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want. I am a law unto myself and no one else can tell me what to do. I will decide what’s right and what is wrong for me.
Contemporary culture rejects the idea that there is a clear standard of truth or lies, of right and wrong, that applies to all of us.
I can tell you this, Biblical truth contradicts common cultural myths about sex (and about so much more that matters in life).
1 Corinthians 6:13 (NIV)
13b “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord…”
DEFINITION _- Sexual immorality can easily be defined as any kind of sexual behavior outside of a faithful and committed marriage relationship between a man and a woman.
Many today believe sex is just sex, nothing more. It’s recreational.
Modern culture is filled with all kinds of philosophies that are ABSOLUTELY immoral with it comes to SEX.
EXAMPLE - How many of you are familiar with the phrase, friends with benefits? Two friends who have decided to come together for casual sex apart from any commitment to the other person. Friends with benefits! That is one form of sexual immorality.
You need to understand that sex is far more than a physical act. The Bible says it’s in a different category than enjoying a game of tennis.
According to Scripture, it creates a bond of intimacy between two people.
The scriptures reveal that God holds a very high view of marriage. And marriage is not seen as a practical necessity or a cure for lust. It is a picture of the relationship between Christ and his church!
Paul's counsel to the Ephesians (Ephesians 5) reveals the biblical ideal for marriage.
He tells us that marriage is a holy union, a living symbol, a precious relationship that needs tender, self-sacrificing care. It is not to be taken lightly.
1 Corinthians 6:15-16 (NIV)
15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!
16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."
The sexual relationship is about the deepest level of intimacy and bonding between two people. No form of birth control is going to block that bond from taking place.
God wired us to bond in the act of sexual intimacy. We bond not only physically, but mentally, and emotionally as well.
Many today believe there’s nothing wrong with sex outside of marriage, because, they say, “it’s not hurting anyone.” Nothing could be further from the truth.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (NIV)
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
God created sex to be a beautiful and essential ingredient of marriage, but sexual sin—which is any sex act outside the marriage relationship between a man and woman)—always hurts someone.
It hurts God because it shows that we prefer following our own desires instead of what He desires.
It hurts others because it violates the commitment that is so necessary to a healthy relationship.
It will hurt you. It often brings disease to our bodies. It results in memories that are etched so deeply in our minds. It affects us on every level whether we want to admit it or not.
And no matter how we try to suppress is, our hearts and minds are impacted because we know we are living in violation to God’s clear standard.
Many people say they have the right to do whatever they want with their own bodies.
But is living in sexual sin really freedom or are you actually a slave of your own desires?
Across the years I have witnessed significant amounts of tears that have accompanied stories of unplanned pregnancies, confessions of pornography and its disastrous effects on teenagers, marriages and even innocent children.
1. Teenage girls confessing after a breakup that they had given away their most precious gift. “I thought he loved me.”
2. I have witnessed the aftermath of premarital and extramarital affairs.
3. I’ve counseled men and women who can’t get past previous relationships.
4. I’ve watched the confusion of a young adult because their parents are engaging in extramarital sexual activity.
5. I’ve seen breakup, regret, depression, low self esteem, adultery, ruined reputations.
6. I’ve watched homes torn apart, children emotionally scarred, sexually transmitted disease and the devastation of divorce.
The sexual sins of our world have created more heartache and more pain than almost any other evil known to man.
But, you know what? Of all the stories I have heard, there is still one story I have never heard and never expect to hear. I have never had anyone come to me and say, “Pastor, I really regret that I waited to have sex until my wedding night.
I have never heard someone say, “I’m sorry we didn’t live together.” I have never heard that.
But I have heard story after story of people who wish they had put off their first sexual encounter until AFTER they were married.
I have yet to meet anyone who wished they had become sexually active earlier or at a younger age.
We need to hear what the Word of God has to tell us. The Bible says “Flee from sexual immorality.” God is calling us to a better way of life.
Ephesians 5:3 (NIV)
3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
Sexual purity is a lot more than staying a virgin until marriage.
It is about honoring God and it is about avoiding the physical, mental, emotional, social and especially spiritual consequences of immorality
Sexual abstinence is not antiquated or out dated. Virginity does not make you weird and it is certainly not something to be ashamed of.
I am always proud of young people who testify to taking a stand for moral purity.
I love to hear about students who are bold in their commitment to choose abstinence until the day they are married. Abstinence means you will wait to have sex until AFTER you are married.
One of our former youth pastors wore a T-Shirt around here that said HA. Does anyone remember what HA stood for? Hooray for abstinence!
The benefits of Abstinence are wonderful!
Did you know that ABSTINENCE is the ONLY 100% effective method of birth control to prevent pregnancy, and STD’s?
But Steve, everyone is doing it. And in today’s culture, it is impossible not to become sexuality active. WRONG!
Although staying pure in our society is difficult, it is possible. I know, because I did it and I have known many others who consistently chose abstinence until the day they were married.
How does that work? How can you stay pure in this oversexed culture?
It begins with a desire to please God and by dedicating yourself to following His Word and not the culture or your raging hormones.
But I can tell you from experience that though this is a good starting place – you’re going to need to learn how to defend yourself from the attacks against your desire to please God. Here are some steps you can take to do just that…
1. Choose to read and apply God’s Word.
Memorize verses like…
Galatians 5:16 (NIV)
16 So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
Psalm 51:10 (NIV)
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 119:9-11 (NIV)
9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
2. Set BOUNDARIES
The key is in setting boundaries for yourself BEFORE you get in a tempting situation.
You need to think through and answer a set of questions specific BEFORE you go on a date, or even consider dating someone!
Ask questions like - Who will I date? Who will I NOT date? Good rule of thumb – If you won’t marry them, don’t date them. I am a believer in disciples of Jesus Christ dating and marrying other Christ followers.
2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV)
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
If you are a sincere follower of Christ, why would you want to get involved with someone who has an entirely different value system? I wouldn’t have dated someone who wanted nothing to do with my parents. How much more that matters when they want nothing to do with my God.
MISSIONARY DATING (or dating someone who is not a disciple of Jesus Christ) is a bad idea. Missionary friendships can be good – if limits are set – but missionary dating will nearly always lead to problems (either between the 2 in the relationship or between God and the one who is trying to be the “missionary”)
When it comes to boundaries, another question that everyone needs to ask themselves BEFORE they get in a sexually heated situation is this - How far is too far?
Someone says, “I know going all the way is wrong…but what about…?” We try to see how close we can get to the line. A dangerous way to live! As a believer my goal should not be to see how close I can get to sin and the world. My desire should be to see how close I can get to Jesus.
Establish some boundaries or limits of affection
Be careful about when you will be together (time of day)
Be careful about where you will be together. There are some places you have no business going together. For instance, the bedroom should be off limits.
You cannot establish boundaries when you are in the heat of the moment.
Each person has to take a look at whatever situations cause them to be tempted – and create some boundaries that will keep them far from those temptations.
ILLUS - I used to teach abstinence in the public school – 6-8 grade. We would talk about what to do WHEN temptation is too strong (notice I did not say if, I said when).
Does it the temptation ever get so strong that you are helpless? Isn’t there a point where you have gone so far, the passion is so intense, that you can’t stop?
EXAMPLE – Two kids, home along, about to it, and they suddenly hear the garage door going up. Mom and dad are home. Can you stop now?
1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)
13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
God will always provide a way out – but it takes a lot of strength and integrity to take it!
One of the best strategies to overcome sexual temptation comes from Joseph – RUN!!!!!
My boyfriend is pressuring me to have sex – RUN!!!
My coworker is trying to get me into bed – RUN!!!
She seems to really understand me….RUN!!!
He is there for me and he listens and seems to care more than my husband…RUN!!!
That’s what Joseph did when he was tempted by Potiphar’s wife? She had grabbed him and said – “Come to bed with me!” RUN!!!
What did he do? He ran. He got out of that situation.
There may be times when the date will need to come to an abrupt end. You need to run, don’t walk to the nearest exit.
That’s the kind of thing you do when your sincere desire is to please God in this important area of your life.
I am convinced that the Lord wants to bless your life. And He has made it clear the life He intends to bless - A LIFE OF PURITY. A LIFE OF MORALITY. A LIFE THAT IS CHARACTERIZED BY OBEDIENCE TO HIS WORD.
People often wonder why God isn’t blessing the life they are living. I don’t get why people choose to live a life outside the will of God and then seem confused as to why the miss blessings and suffer consequences of their decisions.
This is a major area of your life where you can choose obedience and reap the blessings and benefits that go along with it. Or you can choose disobedience. Just understand at the beginning, there will be consequences to your disobedience and you will miss God’s best.
He has shown us how to live. It is not a secret. Everyone in this room understands that God is for morality. He is for sexual purity.
Instead of asking the Lord to bless the life you are living, when you know good and well you are in a lifestyle He condemns, why not choose to live the life He has already promised to bless?
God wants what is best for you? Do you believe that? Do you trust Him? He is calling us to a better way of living.
Especially to those of you who have never been married, make a commitment right now that you will obey God and seek to honor Him in this important part of your life. You will be glad you did.
The only sex that isn’t hazardous to your health is saved sex.
Researchers now have verified that “married couples have the best and most satisfying sex.” 27 Not only is physical intimacy more rewarding in marriage, but enjoyment is greater if sexual expression is shared with only one partner in a lifetime.
Purity is almost a forgotten virtue in American culture, but you can choose abstinence. You can choose sexual purity. You can choose morality. God will enable you to do it.
Whoever you are, don’t give in to satan’s lie that it is too late for you. Maybe you have already been sexually active before marriage and you feel like it is too late. The good news is that God can restore your purity through repentance.
Isaiah 1:18 (NIV)
18 "Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.
My prayer for you is that you give God this area of your life, and allow Him to work in you to keep you pure, or to purify you from past sin, and to enable you to live the life He has called us to live.
No one ever regrets having high standards of morality and purity. Many regret not having set their standards soon enough or high enough.
