Untying the Knot of Envy
Series – Problems: Untying What’s Tying You Up
Chuck Sligh
May 5, 2013
NOTE: A PowerPoint presentation of this sermon is available upon request by emailing me at chucksligh@hotmail.com.
ATTENTION: Although I have personalized this sermon to suit my style and some of my own illustrations, the basic structure of this sermon comes from Jeff Strite’s sermon titled “The Envy Trap” by Jeff Strite, which can found on SermonCentral.com.
TEXT: 1 Timothy 6:6-10 – “But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. 9 But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”
INTRODUCTION
Opening Illus. – I read a story not so long ago about a second grader named Rachel who had collected a fair amount of money from the tooth fairy. Every time she lost a tooth, she’d put it in a small envelope and put it under her pillow and, behold, in the morning the tooth was gone and in its place was $2.00. That was just great because two dollars is a lot of money for a 2nd grader.
At least it was until, one day Rachel visited a friend of hers who told her how she had put her tooth under her pillow and found $10 the next morning. Rachel then asked her friend’s mother, “Mrs. Kraft, would you mind doing me a big favor? Would you please call my mom and tell her which tooth fairy you use?”
Paul tells us in verse 6 of our text that godliness with contentment is great gain. But this little girl had lost her contentment. Why?—Because she had gotten tied up by envy.
We’re in a series titled, “Untying What’s Tying You Up”—and envy has tied up and robbed more Christians of their joy and satisfaction in life than many things I know of. It’s one of the snares Paul hints at when he says in verse 9, “People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare [which literally means a ‘trap’].”
The word “snare” is an apt word to describe how envy can tie us up. The dictionary defines a snare as “A trap for catching birds or animals, typically one having a noose of wire or cord.” When an animal gets caught by the noose in a snare, it often gets more and more entangled and tied up the more it struggles against the snare. That’s what envy can do to you.
So today, let’s get a handle on envy and see how we can get untied from this snare.
I. FIRST, WHAT IS ENVY AND WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT ENVY?
The 2009 Random House Dictionary defines envy as “a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, success, possessions, etc.”
Notice, that the little girl had gotten $2.00 a tooth. A second grader with $2.00 in their pocket should be literally in heaven. That’s a lot of money for a child…until she found out her friend got $10.00 for hers. Now she was discontent with $2.00 because she coveted what her friend got.
Solomon wrote: “Again, I considered all travail, and every right work, that for this a man is envied of his neighbor. This is also vanity and vexation of spirit.” (Ecclesiastes 4:4)
This is difficult to understand in the King James, so here’s what this means in modern English: “Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man’s envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind.”
Apparently, envy is a driving force in the lives of many people. It pushes them to be competitive, hard working and successful. So, you would expect that such a motivation would be a good thing, right?
Actually, the Bible has NOTHING good to say about envy.
• Envy leads people to do evil things to those they envy.
In Genesis 37 you have the story of Joseph whose father, Jacob, showed favoritism to Joseph, which is always a dangerous thing to show to your kids. Genesis 37:11 says, “And his brethren envied him…”—which moved them to hate him, conspire against him and even be tempted to kill him! Ultimately, the oldest brother talked the rest of the brothers into selling Joseph into slavery rather than leaving him in a pit to die a certain death.
• It was envy that turned Saul into David’s bitterest enemy in 1 Samuel 18.
When young David killed Goliath, an act of incredible bravery, the women of Israel came out of all the cities singing and dancing, saying “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” Verse 8 says this enraged Saul, and then verse 9 says, “And Saul eyed David from that day and forward”—which means he envied David to such an extent that he developed an unhealthy preoccupation with him.
• In a peculiar phrase, but Jesus referred to envy as “an evil eye,” and put it in the same list as some really evil things when he says in Mark 7:20-22 – “21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, 22 Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness.”
• James ties strife, confusion and every kind of evil work to envy in James 3:14-16 – “But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. 15 This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. 16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” – Wow!—We act as if envy is not such a bad thing, but James says it’s tied with all sorts of evil things.
• In Galatians 5:19-21, Paul contrasts the fruit of the spirit in a Christian’s life with the works of the flesh in the non-believer’s life. – He says, “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.” – Again, like Jesus’s list, envious is in bad company.
• To remove all doubt about how the Bible views envy, in Romans 1:28-29, Paul describes the slide of mankind from original sin to reprobation: “And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient [appropriate]; 29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers.”
Folks, envy is a serious sin; it’s not a desirable trait to have in our lives. So we’ve examined the Bible’s attitude toward envy….
II. SECOND, LET’S EXAMINE WHAT IS THE ROOT CAUSE OF ENVY.
The root cause of envy is the belief that we deserve better than what we’ve got.
In Matthew 20, Jesus tells a parable about a man who went to where workers were milling around looking for work and hired men in the early hours of the morning to work for a denarius (a coin representing a worker’s normal wage for a day).
Later, needing more workers, he returned at the third, sixth, ninth and eleventh hours respectively (that is, 8 and 11 AM; and 2 and 4 PM), looking for workers, and each time offered them the same wage: a denarius.
At pay-time at the end of the day, they all got what they agreed to—a denarius. Well, those who had worked all day for a denarius were envious because those who had come later got the same wage as they had.
We pick up the story in verse 11: “And when they had received it, they murmured against the master [KJV: “goodman”] of the house, 12 Saying, These last have wrought but one hour, and you have made them equal to us, who have borne the burden and heat of the day. 13 But he answered one of them, and said, Friend, I do thee no wrong: did you not agree with me for a denarius [KJV: “penny”]? 14 Take what is yours, and go your way: I will give unto this last, even as unto thee. 15 Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with my own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good?”
Did you catch what made the workers so mad? It wasn’t FAIR that people who worked less than they did received the same amount of money as they did. It didn’t matter that they got what they had been promised, nor that the money was the landowner’s to spend however he pleased. Somehow, they DESERVED better because the other workers had worked less than they had…and it wasn’t FAIR…and that attitude produced envy.
Illus. – I recently read of a pastor who attended a seminar on estate planning where they talked about “Revocable Living Trusts.” They’re kind of like a will but with some significant advantages.
The lawyer who presented the seminar told of an instance where a couple of sisters came to his office to challenge the fact that their brother had received the family farm in their parents’ trust. The lawyer had seen this before, but he was still troubled by their greed.
“Do you know why your parents left the farm to your brother?” he said.
“Yes,” they replied. “He had taken care of them in their old age, and had worked the farm for them.”
“Did you ever help with the farm?” he asked.
“No.”
“Did you ever help your brother take care of your parents?”
“No, not really.”
“So, why do you think that you deserve a share in the farm that your parents wanted to leave to him for all he had done for them?”
“Because it’s the family farm, and we believe we deserve it.”
The lawyer smiled sadly and then said: “You have every right to contest this trust, but you have to realize that this trust has a clause in it. That clause warns that should this trust ever be contested and that challenge be lost, those who contest the trust will lose whatever inheritance they might have had. In other words, if you contest this trust and lose—your share of the inheritance will be given to your brother.”
The sisters left his office and he never from them again.
My point is this: When we are envious, we often don’t realize it. We think that we DESERVE something, and therefore, whatever we have to do to get what we DESERVE is somehow justified, whether it ends up destroying our friendships, our jobs, or our families because it’s only FAIR that we get a share.
Envy is one of those terrible sins that sneaks up on you and you sometimes you don’t even know you’ve fallen prey to it.
III. SO…HOW DO YOU AND I KNOW IF WE ARE TIED UP BY ENVY?
Well, you’re in luck this morning, because I’m going to let you in on THE way to determine if you have the potential of falling prey to this trap of envy. It may not be that you’re completely controlled by envy, but if the trait I will now discuss is not in your life, you are easy prey for the trap of envy. 1 Timothy 6:6 says, “But godliness with contentment is great gain”
The answer for envy is contentment, and if you are not content, you are prey to envy. You cannot be content and envious at the same time.
You might be envious of what a neighbor or friend has—a better car; a faster computer; newer furniture; more money; more recognitions; higher rank. God wants you to be content with what you have—your gifts, your abilities, your talents, your level of wealth, the family you grew up in.
But it may not be just envy of something a friend or a neighbor has. It may be something that’s on the store shelves, or something you’ve seen on a TV advertisement or heard about on the radio. This form of envy the Bible calls “covetousness.” Advertisers are most successful if they can create within you a lack of contentment with what you have or a great desire to have more than you have. And when we’re covetous, then we find it hard to say no to THINGS we want. We will pile up debt to get THINGS now, which ties up us in even more knots.
So if you’re not content with what you have, it’s a strong indicator of envy. Remember, envy arises from comparing what we have with what others have. And the end result of that type of comparing is always going to be dissatisfaction.
Illus. – According to US News and World Report, “For Americans with household incomes under $25,000, it would take $54,000 a year to fulfill the American Dream. Those who make $100,000+ crave an average of $192,000 to live as they want.” – In other words, the American Dream usually lies nearly twice the distance away.
So…if you compare your possessions and financial status with your neighbor—sooner or later, envy will tie you up and rob you of happiness. You’ll ALWAYS WANT MORE than what you have.
Someone once asked John D. Rockefeller how much money it took to be happy, and he replied, “A little bit more.”
CONCLUSION
So… how content are you? How thankful are you for what you have?—your job? your home? your family?
Now, if you say, “Yes I’m thankful for my home…BUT…” or, “I’m thankful for my husband/ wife… BUT” or “I’m thankful for my children… BUT…”—that’s a mark of not being content with what God has given you.
Until you get all of those “buts” out of your thinking, you’ll always be a little dissatisfied with what you have and never be truly content.
Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 6:6-8 – “But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.”
What does Paul say we should be content with?—Food and clothing. If that was all you had, God says you should be content with that.—Food and clothing.—PERIOD! But all of you here today have WAY more than that, so if you should be content with just food and clothing, how much more contented and thankful you should be with ALL you have.
So how can you get untied from the knot of envy?
• First, stop COMPARING
The Bible condemns comparison. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 10:12 – “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.”
If you’re not careful, you may get so caught up comparing yourself to the achievements and blessings of others that you fail to focus on your OWN potential and forget to strive to achieve all that you are capable of achieving. You may forget to thank God for all the blessings he has given YOU.
• Second, stop COMPLAINING.
Complaining compounds envy. It’s like throwing gas on the fire; it’s allowing the gangrene to spread.
The Bible records how complaining and murmuring by the Israelites so angered God that at one point He just killed a bunch of them and it was only by Moses’ intervention that He didn’t wipe them all out. They grumbled because they didn’t think it was fair that they had to eat manna all the time and that they deserved better, forgetting that it was a miracle that God performed EVERY SINGLE DAY in providing their every need in the wilderness.
Griping and complaining are the first signs of an envious life. If you’ll just stop and listen to yourself, you’ll see if you’re guilty of envy.
• Last, be CONTENT.
Hebrews 13:5 says, “Let your conversation [i.e., your manner of life] be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”
If you’re a believer in Jesus Christ, even if you have NOTHING anybody else has, you have Jesus—and that, dear brother or sister, is really ALL you need.
So be content, and don’t resent the blessings God gives others. Paul says in Romans 12:15 – “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” When your friend drives up in the car of your dreams, can you rejoice with him without envying? When someone you don’t like gets a break, can you rejoice without envying? You can REJOICE or RESENT, but to rejoice is the only godly option.
Illus. – In his short story, “The Window,” author G.W. Target tells of two seriously ill men who occupied the same hospital room. The man by the window was propped up for an hour each day to drain fluid from his lungs while the other man spent his entire time on his back. The two men liked one another and talked for hours about all kinds of things.
Each day, during the hour the one man sat up in his bed, he would describe all the things he saw to his bedfast roommate. He described the park with its lovely lake and grand old trees. He would tell of children playing and lovers walking in the park outside the window and one day, he described a beautiful parade going by. Even though he couldn’t hear the music, the man on his back could see it all in his mind as his roommate gave exquisite details.
But somehow, it didn’t seem quite fair. Although he enjoyed listening to his friend describe the sights, he began to desire the view his comrade had. A desire for the window bed began to consume him, keeping him up at night.
Then, in the darkness of one sleepless night, his roommate began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs and was desperately groping for the button to call for help. The envious roommate could have easily pushed his button to summon a nurse, but instead, he let the old man die without help.
The next morning the nurse found the man dead and removed his body. So the surviving man asked that his bed be moved so he could see out the window.
At last, he would have what he felt he deserved; that which he so envied. Painfully and slowly he propped himself up for that first look at the park. To his disappointment, the window looked out…to a blank wall! The venom of envy never achieves fulfillment in life.
Do you envy others?—What they have? Their blessings? Their place in life? Their possessions? Today would be a good day to repent of the deadly sin of envy. It would be a good day to thank God for your blessings and resolve to be content with what God has given to you.
