Video “Confused about love.”
Valentine’s Day is this week guys. I want to give you fair warning. This month is known as the month of love because we celebrate Valentine’s Day. But do you know why? Let me enlighten you. The most popular belief is that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. He eventually was made the Saint of Love by the Catholic Church and we celebrate this day each year to honor his memory.
We live in a world that seems to be confused about love. We throw around the word “love” very casually. We love our jobs, our cars, our homes, our gadgets, our pets and all of our things. We love our moms, dads, kids, and relatives. We love our friends, neighbors, and people at work. We love our spouses, our girlfriends, or boyfriends. We love our church, our Lord Jesus, and our God. We love so many things that we lose sight of the true meaning of love.
We live in a world looking for love. If you go to Amazon. COM you can find 334,289 books with the word “love” in the title. 14,554 of these books deal with discovering how to love yourself. There are 173,677 songs available with the word “love” in the title. If you prefer a movie you can find 28,261 with the word “love” in the title. And if you still haven’t found what you are looking for just Google love and it will give you a listing of 3,250,000,000 web-sites with “love” mentioned in the search.
In the English language the word “love” carries many meanings but in the Greek language there were four words used for love. Two of these words for love are found in the New Testament. Today I want to help us understand the different types of love and in doing so have clarity about love.
The first word the Greeks had for love was “Eros” (AIR-ose). It is the root word for our English word “erotic”. This type of love was the most commonly found. It was usually sexual by nature but it also described the love toward inanimate objects. This type of love is always selfish. It is a love that expects nothing in return.
When we say we love our cars we are feeling an “Eros” love. We do not expect our car to love us back. We describe this type of love between individuals as “one night stands” or “friends with benefits.” There are never any expectations of a lasting relationship.
I dare say that “Eros” love is still the most common type of love found. And this type of love is not mentioned in the Bible for good reasons.
Another type of love the Greeks expressed in their language was “Phileo” (FILL-ee-uh). This love was a love shared between friends. This love is shown when Peter reminds us “You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart.” (1 Peter 1:22)
The way we do this is found in Galatians 6:10 “Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.”
“Phileo” love looks for opportunities to do something good for everyone especially our fellow Christians. Why? The answer is so that those who are lost in sin can see a deep, caring love between people of the faith and realize that the church family can offer them something that the world cannot.
Jesus reminds us that “The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you.” (John 15:19) Jesus says the world also offers “Phileo” love. You can see it in bars as strangers often share their heartaches and troubles over a few drinks. You see it on social media as hurting people relate the unfairness of life and broken relationships. The world will accept you as a friend and you don’t have to change. The church needs to accept these people as they are and allow the Holy Spirit to do the work of changing things. Often the church seems like the world hating those who are not a part of it.
The third type of love found in the Greek language is “Storge” (STOR-jay). This is a natural affection. This love is the type you feel the first time you look at a new born baby. This baby is a person that you have not had a chance to connect with but you instantly have a love toward. This love is actually often exhibited in the animal kingdom as an adult creature protects it’s young. Although the word “Storge” is not used in the Bible, we do find an example of it in Romans 12:10 “Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” This type of love can best be explained by combining the two words “Phileo” and “Storge”. We are to love those in the church with a natural affection based on a deep friendship.
We do not base our love toward a new born on what they have done for us or what they can do for us. It’s a natural love. We are commanded to love each other with this type of friendly, natural love.
The fourth type of love found in the Greek language is “Agape” (uh-gah-PAY). This is active love. The Strongest Exhaustive Concordance, a reference book that gives the definition for every Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek word in the Bible, explains “Agape” love as follows: “the active love of God for his Son and his people, and the active love his people are to have for God, each other, and even enemies.”
As I have previously stated you will not find “Eros” or “Storge” love in the Bible. You will find “Phileo” love refered to 20 times. However, “Agape” love or some form of this love is referenced 287 times. This is love.
“Agape” love is love in action. It is not lustful. It is not based on friendships or relationships. It is not natural. We are commanded to “Agape” love our enemies. We are to actively show our love to them. That is not natural.
“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” (Romans 5:8) This is love in action, “Agape” love.
If I were to stand here and refer to all 287 references to “Agape” love, I believe we would miss lunch and perhaps supper. Instead I will tell you about God’s “Agape” love for you by looking at 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.
First Corinthians is often referred to as the “love chapter.” It explains what love is truly. But in explaining love it also allows us to see Jesus in the light of that love. We are told “God is love” (1 John 4:8). Jesus said “The Father and I are one.” (John 10:30)
Since God is love and Jesus and God are one then Jesus is love. Based on this fact let’s now venture into 1 Corinthians 13 and become unconfused about love. As we look at these verses we will insert the name of Jesus as love.
“(Jesus) is patient and kind. (Jesus) is not jealous or boastful or proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Jesus is patient with us. He exhibits control when we allow a sinful action into our lives. He doesn’t drop a hammer on us or forsake us.
Jesus is kind. He is benevolent to us. His desire is to do good things in our lives. He desires to give us a fuller life than we can imagine.
Jesus is not jealous, at least not in the since we consider jealousy. Jesus does want our lives fully but we have free choice on what we will and will not relinquish to him. And those idols we hold too, He does not exhibit a negative attitude of lust toward them. We made sadden him but He will not become corrupt over our choices by exhibiting ill will toward us.
Jesus is not boastful. He does not glorify himself with speech. His actions glorified him. Those who walked with him glorified him. Those who were healed glorified him. Today we are called to glorify him. His glory will cease when we stop glorifying him because He will not glorify himself.
Jesus is not proud. He is not arrogant. He does exhibit a sense of being elevated to a standard of being above us. The Bible says
“Therefore, it was necessary for him to be made in every respect like us, his brothers and sisters, so that he could be our merciful and faithful High Priest before God. Then he could offer a sacrifice that would take away the sins of the people.” (Hebrews 2:17) He became like us and in doing so He understands us.
“(Jesus is not) rude. (He) does not demand (his) own way. (He) is not irritable, and (He) keeps no record of being wronged.” (1 Corinthians 13:5)
Jesus is not rude. He does not behave improperly or dishonorably. There is nothing in his behavior that would suggest indecency. He does ignore or discourage anyone.
Jesus does not demand his own way. The Greek word used in this passage implies seeking out a relationship based solely on reciprocation. A relationship that asks “What’s in it for me?” Our relationship with Jesus is not based on what He gets in return but rather what He offers in return.
Jesus is not irritable. He does not become greatly distressed over our failures. He continues to love us in spite of our short comings. He is not wringing his hands wondering where He went wrong.
Jesus keeps no record of being wronged. The Greek word indicates an evil crime that has been credited to someone. It is a record that cannot be expunged. It is a record that follows you for life. Jesus keeps no such record.
“(Jesus) does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.” (1 Corinthians 13:6)
Jesus finds no delight or gladness in the state of the world. He finds no joy in the wickedness and injustice that takes place all around us. Reality is, He left us behind to do something about it. When we do, He rejoices with us when we allow the true state of the matter to be seen. He rejoices with us when we correct an injustice. He rejoices with us when we overcome evil. He rejoices with us when we rejoice.
“(Jesus) never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)
Jesus never gives up. He never throws his hands and says “I’ve had enough with you.” He endures our failures. He covers us and protects us from the enemy in spite of our weaknesses.
Jesus never loses faith. He trusts us and in doing so believes we will take the proper action based on his trust. He relies on us to do so.
Jesus is always hopeful. He never looks at us as a lost cause. He looks at us with an attitude of confidence, looking forward to us doing what is right and beneficial.
Jesus endures through every circumstance. He stands firm. No matter how unreliable we become He stands firm. The Bible says “If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is.” (Timothy 2:13)
“Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But (Jesus) will last forever!” (1 Corinthians 13:8)
The love and promises of Jesus are eternal. His patience and kindness are unending. His faith and hope in us is everlasting. His endurance, attention, forgiveness, and tolerance with us are endless. His desire for us to be instrumental in the search for righteousness in a fallen world is ceaseless.
This is the picture of true love. This is the love we are to have toward our families, friends, neighbors, co-workers, fellow Christians, and even our enemies. It is “Agape” love. It is love in action. It is a love that leads us to be patient and kind toward others. It is a love that requires us to be tolerant and forgiving. It is a love that is not easily achieved.
Let’s look at one more story before we leave this morning. This story is found in John 21. The resurrected Jesus is having breakfast around a campfire with his disciples.
Let‘s read John 21:15 “After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you.” “Then feed my lambs,” Jesus told him.”
Jesus is asking Peter if he has “Agape” love, love that will be put into action. Jesus is asking Peter in relationship to all the others does he have action love. Peter replies “I have “Phileo” friendship love.” Jesus says “Then tend to my little ones.”
Let’s continue reading. “Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love you.” “Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said.” (vs. 16)
Again Jesus asks for “Agape” love and all Peter has to offer is “Phileo” love. But Jesus commands him lead his church.
“A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.” (vs. 17)
This time Jesus asks him “Do you just have “Phileo” love for me?” Peter was crushed. He answered “Lord you know that all the love in my heart toward you is just friendship love.”
I imagine Peter thought he would be rejected but Jesus, perhaps with an understanding smile, says “Then tend to my church.”
Jesus understands how difficult it is to achieve “Agape” love. However it is his desire that we like Peter, look deep within and determine our degree of love toward him and his church. Peter obtained “Agape” love and the church grew because of it. We must strive to do the same so the Church of our Lord Jesus will be glorified.
