Friendship and the Church
Chuck Sligh
September 16, 2012
POWERPOINT: There is a PowerPoint presentation for this sermon available by requesting it from me at chucksligh@hotmail.com.
TEXT: Ecclesiastes 4:9 – “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.”
INTRODUCTION
Popular TV shows and TV show theme songs through the years such as “Friends” and “Cheers” reflect the need in our society to find a place of community. A common thread you pick up is the sense of belonging; a sense of togetherness. In these shows, they were a group, a community.
Illus. – I read about a family that had gone to the movies, and on the way in the teenager of the family stopped by the refreshment stand to pick up some popcorn. By the time he got into the theater the lights were already dim. He scanned the theater and couldn’t find his family. He paced up and down the aisle searching the crowd in the near-darkness. As the lights began to go down even further he stopped and asked out loud, “Does anyone recognize me?”
We all need a place; we need a group of people who will “recognize” us; who will call out and say in essence, “We’re your family…You’re loved here.…You’re valued here.” People are looking for that.
The Bible recognizes this need. Our text says “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.” Don’t think he’s just talking about getting more done with two people. That’s not the thought here. In context, the thought is that life is more rewarding when you have a friend.
Why?
• Because verse 10 says, “For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” It’s a sad thing to have to handle big problems without a friend. What a blessing to have a friend to help you get back up when you face a major crisis in your life. (SHOW “REAL FRIENDSHIP” VIDEO HERE)
• Verse 11 says, “Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?” Today, the idea of sleeping with a friend has definite sexual overtones. But throughout history, even up into the early 20th century, it made sense to sleep with a person of the same gender if you were unmarried and not accompanied by your spouse for the very practical reason mentioned in this verse—on a cold, cold night with no modern heat, two bodies generate more heat than one. Better to sleep together than to freeze to death alone!
The idea is not really sleeping together, but the warmth produced by friends. When you’re by yourself, you’re cold and lonely; you’re on your own. When you have a friend, you can have a warm relationship to share your innermost thoughts, your dreams, and your struggles.
• And verse 12 says, “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” When you face opposition, it’s tough to handle it on your own. What a blessing to have a friend to stand WITH you in such a situation!
The main thing to see in these verses is that God understands that we have a need for mutuality, togetherness, community—people who love us, and people we can count on.
You know what?—My heart’s desire is that Grace Baptist Church be a place where people can feel they’re part of family. That’s one of the key elements of the closest kind of friendship, isn’t it—when you’re not just a “friend” anymore, but you’re “family.”
Today I want to examine the key elements of true friendship, and relate them to our church. This is the way our church ALREADY IS for some of you, and SHOULD BE for all of us.
I. THE FIRST ELEMENT OF A GENUINE FRIENDSHIP IS SHARED EXPERIENCES.
If you never do anything with somebody, you don’t really have a friendship, do you? That kind of relationship is an “acquaintance,” not a friendship. But when you share experiences together—going out to dinner together, going to each other’s kids’ ball games, working out together, just hanging out at each other’s house—as you DO things together, you have shared experiences that engender friendship.
The church is like that, too. In a church, the believers have all had the shared experience of SALVATION. We can each point to a time in our lives when we realized that our sin separated us from God, and that we needed Jesus Christ as our Savior. At a point in time—maybe in a time of crisis, maybe not; maybe in a church, maybe at home—somewhere, sometime, each of us who are saved turned from our sin and trusted in what Jesus did on the cross to save us from our sins.
And that shared experience put us into God’s family, and made us not just friends—but family. You know, I love all kinds of people, but I have a SPECIAL relationship with those who have trusted in Christ.
I feel closer to believers I have JUST MET than I do to some of my family members I have known my whole life who have not found Christ. Why?—Because we have the shared experience of salvation, the most important event in our lives. We know what it is to be a sinner destined for hell, deserving nothing but God’s judgment, but to have received the undeserved grace of God.
II. THE SECOND ELEMENT OF A GENUINE FRIENDSHIP IS COMMON GOALS.
Our most intimate friends are those who share similar goals in life with us. If you’re committed to having and rearing kids, you usually don’t have many close friends who hate kids, do you? If one of your goals is to live a moral, godly life, you’re not going to want to spend a lot of time around people who habitually live an immoral, profligate lifestyle.
Our closest friendships are usually nurtured with those with common goals. This’s why involved people in a church often draw so close to one another. Those on the peripheral usually stay that way because they never catch the “vision”—the shared goals of a church. Those who share the church’s biblical goals through membership find themselves drawing close together in kinship because they share common goals.
What are the goals of Grace Baptist Church? Here is what we call the Vision Statement of Grace Baptist Church: Our vision for GBC Is that we be a community of people that is:
• Radically devoted to Jesus Christ so that each person Grace Baptist impacts comes to experience
Goal 1: Has assurance of salvation
Goal 2: Has obeyed the Lord in believer’s baptism
Goal 3: Is striving to be like Jesus Christ and to obey the Word of God
• Passionately committed to one another – Goals for each person GBC impacts:
Goal 1: Is committed to the “church large” through:
> Membership & faithfulness to its services, activities and outreach
> Service in a ministry or program of the church
> Prayer & financial support for the church
Goal 2: Is committed to a “church small” venue (a homegroup and/or a small group) through:
> Commitment to loving, praying for, ministering to the needs of, and “being there for” the group’s members (i.e., practicing the “one another” commands of the New Testament)
> Commitment to growing in grace and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ
• Relentlessly dedicated to reaching the lost – Goals for each person GBC impacts:
Goal 1: Is committed to evangelism and has been trained to be able to share a clear, simple explanation of the gospel
Goal 2: Is committed to world-wide evangelization and contributes to missions through GBC through prayer and resources
That’s what Grace Baptist Church is all about; that’s our vision. We’re not a social club; we’re not here to advance people’s careers by being an exclusive clique; we’re not about fun and games! We’ve got grand goals we’re reaching for and we’re very serious about them.
And those who catch the vision, and get in on what God’s up to—THOSE are the ones who find lasting relationships in the church, who feel a sense of belonging, who have a stake in God’s work, who feel a sense of ownership in GBC. And let me tell you something: People who catch the vision and get in on the carrying out of it are the most fulfilled, happy, excited Christians I know of!
III. A THIRD ELEMENT OF A TRUE FRIENDSHIP IS RESOLVED PROBLEMS
I’ve never met two friends who at one time or another didn’t get into a disagreement, or even get REALLY MAD at one another over something. Even Paul and Barnabas, two godly leaders, had it out in the book of Acts.
But if it’s a true friendship, what do you do?—YOU WORK IT OUT, don’t you? You examine your behavior and if you were wrong, you make it right. And if you can’t work it out, you just forgive your friend because he or she is your friend, and good friends can overlook a LOT of things. As the writer of Proverbs said, “Love covereth a multitude of sins.”
That’s true in the church too, isn’t it? Listen—sooner or later someone in the church is going to say something or do something that’s going to hurt your feelings. You might fume about it; you might feel the unfairness of it; you might even confront the person about it. But because they’re family—somehow, some way—you just work it out and RESOLVE the problem.
That’s biblical: Over and over again the Bible tells us to forgive one another, to love one another, to bear with one another, to work out our problems with one another. Why?—Well, because we’re friends; we’re family, and that’s what you do in a family and with our friends.
LET ME SHARE ONE OTHER ELEMENT OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP—MUTUAL COMMITMENT
You can’t have an authentic friendship if you’re the only one committed to it, can you? We’ve all experienced the sad realization that a friendship we wanted to have with someone or that we thought we had with someone wasn’t reciprocal. YOU were committed to the relationship, but the other party wasn’t. That’s sad, but you came to realize that there was not really a friendship there in the first place, because a true friendship is requires MUTUAL COMMITMENT.
And you know what?—You ought to be committed to a church family even as it is committed to you. A church and its people offer you biblical guidance, teaching from God’s Word, encouragement, prayers, fellowship, and sometimes even tangible things—like meals when you’re sick, or a visit when you are in the hospital. The church and its people are committed to ministering to you. Are you committed to ministering to them?
How can you do that? By getting involved in some ministry or place of service. By doing the dirty work—like keeping the nursery, or teaching a K.I.D.S. class, or being an usher, or helping around the church or hosting a homegroup, or by being a homegroup leader or by visiting the sick and shut-ins.
The hallmark of a great church is that all the work of the ministry is NOT done by the “minister,” but by the people in the church who are committed to giving back and not just receiving the benefits of the church. They want to GIVE, for, as Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35).
CONCLUSION
Well, that’s my message this Friend Sunday. So how are you doing in these areas I mentioned?…
Are you plugging in?
Are you finding a refuge—a place of belonging—here at Grace Baptist Church?
If not, you’ll be adrift; lonely; out there on your own. Let me ask you a few questions to help assess yourself on your “connect-ability” here at GBC.
• First—are you a member of the family of God?
That is, have you trusted Jesus as your Lord and Savior? Have you been saved by God’s grace? (EXPAND AS LED) If not, please don’t wait another day to come to Christ and be saved!
• Second, have you become a member of Grace Baptist Church?
I feel very strongly about being a member WHERE YOU ARE—not being a member of some church where you came from. I can give you biblical precedents and principles that teach membership in a LOCAL church in the place where you are.
But local church membership is not only BIBLICAL, it’s also a BLESSING—it brings CONNECTION; it engenders a sense of BELONGING; it fosters a sense of RESPONSIBILITY—a sense of OWNERSHIP, a spirit of COMMUNITY.
If you’re a Christian and not a member WHERE YOU ARE in a local, biblical church following and teaching the Bible, I challenge you to pray about becoming a member of Grace Baptist Church. Next week we will have our Membership at Grace meeting after the morning worship where you can learn more about membership at Grace. I hope you’ll consider attending it.
• Third, have you connected with a homegroup?
Research has revealed that those surveyed who feel they have a healthy sense of belonging in their church have on average SEVEN (what they call) “vital relationships” in their congregation. Do you have seven vital relationships in this church to help, sustain, challenge you? God never designed us to get together once a week and that be the extent of our relationships with one another. We’re a koinonia—the Greek word denoting a fellowship, a fraternity, a family. The more you interact with other members of the church outside of Sunday services, the more they cease to be mere acquaintances and become FRIENDS. And they can become family.
One of our homegroup logos says that homegroups are a place to pray together; grow together; laugh together; learn together; serve together; DO LIFE TOGETHER. And there’s no better place in all the world to go for that than in a church small group that has committed itself to one another to do those things.
• And lastly, do you have a meaningful task or ministry in the church?
God has given every believer a spiritual gift to be used in the body of Christ. Do you have a ministry—a place of service—in the church? I can just tell you by experience—you won’t find full “connect-ability” until you’re serving alongside brothers and sisters in the work of God. As you serve side by side in ministry, you will find your deepest friends—the ones who become family to you, spiritually speaking.
Well, I don’t know how you did on those four questions. Perhaps you have some other spiritual need this morning: Maybe you’ve been away from God and you need to just turn back to God in repentance to rededicate your life to God. – I hope you will do that today. Maybe your heart is broken by a loved one who has betrayed you or abandoned you and you need to turn again to the one who will never let you down and promises to never leave you nor forsake you. Whatever your need, we invite you to turn to Jesus this morning.
