TRAPS
“Getting to the Root of the Problem”
Ephesians 4:28-32
For most of us there are certain things in life that when we think of them they bring to us a feeling we often describe as bitterness. This could be an event that took place years and years ago; something someone said and even though that individual has long forgotten about what they did, you haven’t and as a result you now have bitterness. Bitterness comes in different forms and causes a variety of different things to happen. Certain foods have a bitter taste. This lemon is one of them. Let me ask you does the mere mention of lemon juice just do something to your mouth? It brings a kind of bitterness to us. OR
Perhaps you are involved in a conversation with someone and they bring something up-an event or a person-again it could be from years and years ago but the feeling we have; perhaps even the bad taste we get in our mouths for that person comes back to us immediately. Have you experienced that before? I have. I believe we all have. And we may even stop and think I haven’t thought about that for a long time or maybe you are one who might say actually I think about it all the time.
The writer of Hebrews understood this emotion and wrote these words to us… 14 Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. 15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.”
Now when it comes to this thing called bitterness I think there are several points we could agree on today..
(1) At one time or another every one of us have had or have now feelings of bitterness toward another person.
(2) Many times we know the source of our bitterness, but not always.
(3) Most of the time we do not know what to do with this emotion.
Fortunately for us the apostle Paul did know what to do with them. Paul has plenty of reasons to hold bitterness in his heart. To name a few….
3 times they beat him with rods for sharing his faith.
Once they stoned him…somehow he survived
5 times the Jews gave him 39 lashes with a whip. It was thought that if an individual received 40 lashes it would kill them. Basically he was beaten within an inch of his life 5 times.
Paul said that every day he felt pressured-why? Because he was serving the Lord. Ever tried to do a good thing and yet you are criticized for it?! It happens and it can bring a great deal of bitterness into your life.
Bitterness-the way I would define it is like this…. Bitterness is an intense feeling caused by some event where we have been wronged/mistreated. It happened to most of the disciples, it happened to the OT prophets, to Paul, Stephen and of course to Jesus. They stoned Stephen because of his faith. He performed miracles. He helped a lot of people. So they lied about him, produced false witnesses to testify against him and then they stoned him. The Bible says this… “while they were stoning him, Stephen prayed Lord Jesus receive my Spirit. Then he fell on his knees and cried out Lord do not hold this sin against them. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure that would be my response and I’m not sure it would be yours either. For most of us this root of bitterness gets hold of us and it does exactly what the NT warns against-don’t let it becomes like a poison that springs up in you. And all of us know what poison does. It destroys life. Fortunately Paul tells us what to do to prevent being poisoned.
I am not aware of any problem Paul mentioned where he did not also offer a solution. That’s a good way for us all to live. We have too many experts who know everything that is wrong but few who can offer solutions. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that there is a problem but it does take one to know what to do with the problem.
Years ago a man named Nikola tesla visited Henry Ford at his factory which was having some kind of problem. Ford asked him if he could help him identify the problem with his generator. He told him that none of his own repairmen knew how to fix it. Tesla walked up to a wall and made a small X in chalk on one of the boilerplates and said your problem is right there. Ford was thrilled and told him to send him a bill. The bill arrived for $10,000. Ford asked him to break it down and he replied sure, 1 dollar for marking the wall with an X and 9,999 dollars for knowing where to put it.
Paul begins here by telling us to get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Why does he put all of these together in one basket? Simple. They’re all connected. Brawling as you know is fighting; we say someone got into a brawl but really it’s not as much fist fighting as it is fighting with words. Somebody slanders you; they say something about your mama or whatever and bitterness turns to rage which turns to anger and suddenly a fight breaks out. It’s a poison. And the longer poison is in your system. The worse off you are. Paul says get rid of it.
So how do we do that? When 2 or more things are connected and that connection is causing a problem you have to do one of two things (1) either break the connection or (2) make one of the two go away. This is how I see the connection.
(1) Bitterness can lead to rage. It’s like the Incredible Hulk. Doesn’t anyone read comic books? Bitterness is that root and if you keep feeding the root system with poison and it just grows and grows the problem will eventually get into the tree itself-that’s YOU by the way. You see you are the one who controls what comes into your body. That’s why Paul tells us to get rid of it. Because we can. Get rid of it before it destroys you. (2) Anger can cause brawling. In fact that is the primary reason any brawl actually takes place. 2 or more people are angry. The anger escalates and suddenly there is a brawl. (3) Slander can cause us to feel malice toward someone. Malice is the desire to cause injury to someone. Someone lies about you, they damage your character. It is often then our desire to hurt them back; to exact revenge. That’s what malice is.
Now you know this but let me remind you-the size of the root determines the quality of the tree. Strong roots, strong tree. Damaged roots. Damaged character. Paul say get rid of the damage. Get rid of the bitterness. And as he does many times when Pau; says get rid of something he tells us what to put in its place. Like breaking a bad habit it is sometimes effective to put something good in its place. In this case Paul gives us 3 things..
(1) Be kind to each other. One thing is for sure. If you show kindness to someone who has hurt you, you will really confuse them. They won’t know how to respond. Proverbs 25:21-22
If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them water to drink. You will heap burning coals of shame on their heads, and the Lord will reward you.
(2) Show compassion. Show mercy to those around you-even to your enemies. This is not the first time the scripture tells us to do this. Listen: Matthew 5: 43-44 and 46.
Jesus always placed the responsibility for doing the right thing on the believer. You wonder how can someone be that way; how could they hurt me or someone else so badly? The truth is if they don’t know Christ they don’t really know any better and until they see that Christ has really made a difference in your life then they may not realize that Christ can make a difference in theirs as well.
Again Jesus says in Matthew 5:38…if someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other one. V. 40 and 41. Be kind. Show compassion.
(3) Forgive. Just like Jesus forgives you. Harry Houdini, the great escape artist gave a certain challenge wherever he went. He could be locked in any jail cell in the country, he claimed, and set himself free quickly and easily. He always kept his promise, but one time. Houdini entered the jail in his street clothes; the heavy, metal doors clanged shut behind him. He took from his belt a concealed piece of metal, strong and flexible. He set to work immediately, but something seemed to be unusual about this lock. For 30 minutes he worked and got nowhere. An hour passed, and still he had not opened the door. By now he was covered in sweat but he still could not pick the lock. Finally, after laboring for 2 hours, Harry Houdini collapsed in frustration and failure against the door he could not unlock. But when he fell against the door, it swung open! It had never been locked at all! But in his mind it was locked and that was all it took to keep him from opening the door and walking out of the jail cell.
If you have bitterness toward someone you will stay locked up.
You will never be set free. When we refuse to forgive someone they hold us as the hostage. When you refuse to forgive there is no one you will hurt more than yourself.
