Things are a lot different now then they use to be when it came to the sex or even amount of babies being born. With my first born, dads set in a waiting room until the nurse came in and said “It’s a boy.” With my next two I was present at their birth but had no idea of their sex until they were born.
Four expectant fathers were in Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, "Congratulations sir, you’re the father of twins."
"What a coincidence" the man said with some obvious pride. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team."
The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man, "You sir, are the father of triplets."
"Wow, that’s really an incredible coincidence” he answered.
"I work for the 3M Corporation. My buddies at work will never let me live this one down.”
An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back, this time she turn to the 3rd man - who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets.
Stunned, he barely could reply. "Don’t tell me another coincidence?" asked the nurse. After finally regaining his composure, he said "I don’t believe it; I work for the Four Seasons Hotel."
After hearing this, everybody’s attention turned to the 4th guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the floor. The nurse rushed to his side and after some time, he slowly gained back his consciousness.
When he was finally able to speak, they could hear him whispering repeatedly the same phrase over and over again.
"I should have never taken that job at 7-Up "I should have never taken that job at 7-Up "I should have never taken that job at 7-Up...
I grew up in the decades of the 50s and 60s. For those of you who think that was ancient times, I assure you we had television, although it was black and white. There were only 3 channels to watch so our viewing time was limited. In fact, television broadcasting actually ended at 11:30 pm.
Today children have almost unlimited time to view television if not monitored by their parents. In the 1950s twenty two percent of children lived with a single parent. Today that figure is estimated to be at a staggering 51% with 90% of those households being headed by women. That means we have 24 million children in this country not living with a biological father in the same household. We have an amazing number of children growing up with TV. dads as their primary image of what fathers are all about.
So let’s take a walk through the decades to look at some of the typical fathers as they were portrayed on television.
In 1952 we were introduced to the first family of television, the Nelsons. “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet” was the first sit-com based around a family atmosphere. It stared the actual Mom, Dad and two sons, Ricky and David. Ozzie worked from home but we never knew at what. Harriet took care of the household chores. Each week was centered on the boy’s dilemmas and Ozzie’s wise counsel solving the crisis.
We had Ward Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver) and Jim Anderson (Father Knows Best). They worked a steady but boring 9-5 job while mom was at home to manage the kids in a middle class suburban bubble. Dad would arrive home every evening, remove his jacket, and solve the entire crisis that included everything from prom dates to homework to burnt pot roast. The day would end with everyone gathered around the supper table talking about the day’s events. And dad, being the patriarch and moral compass of the family ended every show with wise words and a life lesson for his children. And no one sassed or dared to back talk him.
In the 60s we were introduced to two TV dads that were single parents, Ben Cartwright and Andy Taylor. Ben raised three sons on the western frontier, each with a different personality because each had a different mother. Ben was widowed three times. He instilled in his sons a sense of justice and morality. Andy was also a widower who instilled his son one important lesson- always do the right thing. He always made sure that he took time to go fishin’ with his son and built a lasting bound.
We also had our first TV cartoon dad, Fred Flintstone. Fred was your basic blue-collar worked at the quarry. He worked every day, packing his lunch to save money so he could occasionally treat his family out to the neighborhood drive-in. His favorite family time was playing with his precious daughter, Pebbles.
We were introduced to the idea of extended families becoming one with Mike Brady and “The Brady Bunch”. Mike had the task of being the father of not only his three sons but also the step-father of three girls.
The 70s brought us the simplicity of “The Little House on the Prairie” and Pa Ingalls. We got the humor and wisdom of Howard Cunningham on “Happy Days” who taught us that no problem was too great that a smile couldn’t overcome.
And in the midst of this was born Archie Bunker in “All in the Family”. Archie brought to television a reality that was dealt with in many American homes, bigotry and racism. He created conflict between within his household, verbally abusing his wife, mistreating his daughter, and insulting his son-in-law constantly. And our response to this show was laughter and approval. This show eventually replaced “The Little House on the Prairie” as the number one show.
In the 80’s we were blessed with one of the most popular TV dads ever, Cliff Huxtable. In the “Cosby Show” we see the balance of a family with two working parents. Cliff is completely involved with raising his children. He had a way of teaching his children a lesson each week in a firm but good-sided way. His wife was not the typical stay at home mom but rather a strong and independent woman who understood the importance of the role that the father played in the household. Although equal to Cliff she never crossed the line of trying to establish her own position of head of household. This show probably captured the essence of a balanced household better than any.
But this decade gave us one of the worst fathers also, Al Bundy. From “Married with Children” Al Bundy showed us what it meant to be an anti-dad. He would prefer to be anywhere but with his family, and that included the grave. He ignored not only his son’s sexual perversions but his daughter’s promiscuity. This program also became the number one watched show above “The Cosby Show” as we laughed at poor Al’s misery.
And the cartoon world of dads did not escape the changes that were coming. Fred Flintstone was pushed aside by Homer Simpson. In “The Simpsons” we are introduced to a drinking, belching, dis-respected dad who needs more mothering than the kids. If he does attempt to parent you can be sure it will fail.
When the 90’s hit it seems all role models are gone. We now have two more wonderful cartoon dads to set for us examples. We Peter Griffin (Family Guy) and Hank Hill (King of the Hill). Hank likes to drink with the boys. But Peter is worse. On every episode we watch Peter make fun of Chris, pay no attention to Stewie, and mistreat Meg. Once he tried to sell Meg to a local drug store to pay off a debt.
We have Frank Constanza from “Sienfeld” who has turned his son George into a paranoid shell of a man. And if that’s not bad enough he moves to Queens, New York to torture Carrie and Doug on “King of Queens”.
And then there are the Barones. Frank Barone of “Everyone Loves Raymond” has anything but love toward anyone. He is self-centered. He rejoices in the failure of his children. He has no concern for anyone but himself. No disaster is greater than his personal needs. This attitude has created a terrible father in his son, Ray.
Ray is a like-able guy but he is the “incompetent man-child” stereotype. His wife Debra keeps the family together. She thinks he is an idiot and will rush to tell him so. He’s tied to his mom’s apron strings and can not stand up to her. He handles problems by cracking jokes. While he is a work at home dad, he spends as much time away from them as possible. If he finds himself responsible for the kids, it’s sure that problems will arise that he can’t handle.
Although not as sharp-tongued as his father, he is just as unconcerned. Perhaps Frank should have shared this from God’s Word rather than sarcasm.
“Fathers, do not be too hard on your children so they will become angry. Teach them in their growing years with Christian teaching.” (Eph 6:4)
24 million children think that a dad is like Homer Simpson, Hank Hill, or Peter Griffin. They will carry that image into their relationship as fathers they way Ray Barone did. We can’t fix that problem but we can better examples for our kids.
The term “Father” is used for God 260 times in the Bible. It is a title that honors him.
“See what great love the Father has for us that He would call us His children. And that is what we are.” (1 John 3:1)
This scripture shows us that being a father includes having a great love for your child.
“See, children are a gift from the Lord. The children born to us are our special reward.” (Psalm 127:3) Children are a gift from God. They are our special reward. Many of us think they are our special “punishment” but that could come from how we treated them. Do you see your children as a gift, a special reward? The dads of the 50s, 60s, 70s, and early 80s did. But when you look at the kids of the late 80s and 90s they have lost all respect for their fathers.
So let’s take a moment to understand what it means to love our children by looking at 1 Corinthians 13:4-6.
1) Love does not give up (1 Cor 13:4)
Do you ever mess up? How does God treat you? Does He abandon you or extend you grace? Is He ready to forgive you when you ask? Discipline is necessary. God says “He who does not punish his son when he needs it hates him, but he who loves him will punish him when he needs it.” (Proverbs 13:24) But be there to hold and accept them afterwards as God does us. Try not to become easily discouraged when facing problems. Remember, God looks at what we are becoming and not what we are. Look at your children the same way.
2) Love is kind (1 Cor 13:4)
Don’t speak harshly to your child. Remember “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21) You can speak words of encouragement or words of humiliation into your child’s life. God gave us his word to show how much He loves us and to encourage us. Always take time to encourage, to hug, to tell them how proud you are of them, to say “I love you.”
3) Love is not happy with sin. Love is happy with the truth. (1 Cor 13:6) We are commanded to teach our children the truth about Jesus. We should expose sin in our child’s life when we see it in a gentle manner. The best approach to this is by studying the Bible together, beginning with reading Bible stories at an early age. The nation of Israel was told “And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.” (Deut 6:6-7) You have been given the privilege to teach your child right from wrong, truths from lies. You have been given the privilege of introducing your child to Jesus and leading them to salvation. You have been given the privilege of leading by example.
4) Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Cor 13:7)
There will be times in your life when your child will disappoint you and hurt you. When those times come never give up on them, never lose faith in them, always keep hoping that they will see their error, and let your relationship endure. The word says “Bring up a child by teaching him the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn away from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) Teach them the right way and stand on the word that when they stray, (and they will) that when they get older they will return to what that have been taught. Don’t give up, don’t lose faith, keep hoping, and endure.
So are the dads today on TV any better? The number one sitcom family on TV now is the Pritchett-Dunphy family. Jay Pritchett is the patriarch of the family. He is actually Al Bundy, in more ways than one, only older and more mellow. He has two adult children with families of their own, a daughter, Claire, and a son, Mitchell, who is gay. Jay has accepted his son’s homosexuality and his son’s “life partner.” But it is clear that Jay feels that he is somehow to blame for his son’s life-style. Jay is married to a much younger woman who has a son. Jay spends a great deal of time trying to get this child to be manlier, perhaps out of a fear that he also will embrace the homosexual life-style. His daughter, Claire, is married to Phil Dunphy. Phil is the typical stumbling, idiot dad who needs as much attention as their three children. In his desire to be accepted by his kids he conspires against his wife with them allowing her to be the “heavy” in the family. His son Mitchell and his partner Cameron are parents to an adopted baby girl from Vietnam. A huge portion of the show centers around what we are led to believe is a normal family relationship between two men who both wear the title “Daddy” although Cameron is clearly more feminine and is often mistaken for a “mother image.” Told from the perspective of an unseen documentary filmmaker, we are to believe that this is an accurate portrayal of a modern family. Sadly in some families it is.
We are not called to be any of the dads I’ve discussed today. We are called to be the dad that God designed us to be. But we can improve. We can be more caring and less judgmental. We can be closer to our children as we draw closer to our God. We can be a walking example of what a Christian father looks like. The responsibility is on our shoulders.
