In one of the rides at Disneyland, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, there is a holding room that resembles an archeological dig deep under a Southeast Asian jungle. A covered well sits in the center of the room with a rope extending down into the well. A sign clearly says “do not pull rope.” What do you think the first thing some people do when they read the sign? Of course, they pull the rope. If you do it, a voice down below complains and if you pull it twice the sound of falling equipment or artifacts comes up from the ground. To me it is just a humorous example of human nature to always be attracted to things we are told we shouldn’t do. A corollary to that predilection is to get as close to the line without going over it—or to find the exception to a policy and try to make it the rule.
Such was the environment in which Jesus finds Himself in Mark 10. He comes up against an increasingly sly and cunning enemy: the Pharisees, who are hell-bent on trying to thwart what they perceive was a threat to their power. The Pharisees were incredibly self-rationalizing of their behavior, and felt that everything they did was exactly what God would do. Jesus points out in this case that relying on our own senses and desires will pull us away from God’s character, not towards it.
The topic at hand is divorce and is understandably controversial for Christians. We often struggle between seeing what God says about divorce and what we see in the world around us. Which is right? Is there a middle ground that is not lukewarm? I have bad news for you – I’m not going to be able to answer that fully. Life in this age is a struggle to understand God and what He wants for us in a fallen world. But as we move through this, I hope we can see that a key to balancing God’s character with our realities is the condition of our heart.
1
Jesus left Capernaum and returned to the region of Perea, where John the Baptist had ministered. As usual the crowds came and Jesus taught them. Also usual the religious leaders sought to trap Jesus. John had been arrested and beheaded for his stance on Herod’s illegal marriage, so in this setting the Pharisees see an opportunity.
2
We have to realize that the Pharisees were not seeking information or clarification from Jesus. They wanted him to either support or denounce divorce. They figured they had Him whichever way He chose. In fact, they may have been hoping that Jesus’ answer would either bring Him under their control, or cause Him to suffer the same fate as John!
3 – 4
In His response, Jesus first asks them to cite the Mosaic Law. They did, quoting Deuteronomy 24:1-4. In that law, a man could divorce his wife if he found “something improper” (or “indecent” KJV); he could write her a “divorce certificate.” No court was needed for this. But several problems had arisen that probably form the basis for the question.
1.What does “improper” mean? One camp said it meant absolutely anything. So if a man found another woman more attractive, he could simply divorce his wife and claim that she was “improper” for him. Another camp believed that divorce could only come when there was marital infidelity.
2.When a woman married in that culture, her father would provide a sizeable dowry for her which was to remain with her for her entire life. If a man divorced her, she took the money with her—unless she was unfaithful. So apparently men simply interpreted the law so that they could divorce for whatever reason, call her “improper”, and keep the money.
It’s interesting that Jesus asked “what did Moses command” whereas the Pharisees said it was what Moses “permitted.” Moses did not command divorce, but permitted it knowing the weakness of the flesh, and as we talk about divorce we need to recognize that it is not God’s best for us. Men and women were meant to get and stay married. But God knows we live in fleshly bodies and in a fallen world, so He allows divorce while protecting the innocent as much as possible. A woman was very vulnerable when living alone. This law created requirements for the man to fulfill before he could divorce her wife, he could not simply throw her out, and consequences for that action, he would lose a great deal of money.
5 – 9
Jesus acknowledged that divorce came about because of the weakness of the flesh and was never God’s intention. He quotes Genesis 2, which predates and is a higher law than Deuteronomy 24. Divorce is never good, but sometimes it is necessary in cases of abuse or to protect the children, or if a spouse simply decides they are going to follow the flesh no matter what! We should always in all things strive for God’s intent and His best. But divorce was better than open adultery!
Notice that Jesus says in verse 8 that the two become “one flesh.” They are equal in the marriage.
The Pharisees wanted Jesus to approve their interpretation of the law and support divorce. They saw it as a legal issue. Jesus sees it as a spiritual issue. It is God who is joining these lives, and the desires of the flesh, whether lust or greed, should not be able to counter what God has done. The word “joined” there, by the way, is “yoked” from the same root word that Jesus used in Matthew 11:29 when He said “take up my yoke”.
10 – 12
Privately, the disciples are pretty fatalistic about what Jesus just said. In Matthew 19 they say “then it is better not to marry!” Jesus’ response, though seemingly harsh to our 21st century ears, was astounding to those in 1st century Palestine. In that time, only a man could initiate divorce—not the woman. So if the husband committed adultery, the wife could do nothing. Not so, says Jesus. Both are responsible for keeping the marriage pure.
So does Jesus then condemn remarriage after divorce? There are simply no cut and dried answers here. In context, we need to realize that Jesus was entering into a culture that had strayed so far from God’s ideal that they had to be shocked back into reality.
As I said, we must always strive for God’s ideal, knowing that the flesh will muck things up. To me, it is the attitude of the heart that matters. If someone willfully divorces in order to marry someone else I would not feel comfortable marrying them. However, if they tried everything and divorce still happened but their hearts are soft, and if one of them finds someone else, and both are committed to the transforming of their characters by the Holy Spirit – I think that is another matter.
Let’s bring up another instance of God’s ideal verse the flesh. In Acts 5 the disciples were feely giving to each other of their property and assets to help those in need. A married couple, Ananias and Sapphira, lied about how much they sold their property for in order to appear more giving and “spiritual” than they really were. God struck them dead. Clearly God does not condone lying or putting on a false sense of spirituality, but He does not put us to death every time the flesh makes us greedy, does He? In Revelation 22:15 liars are excluded from God’s kingdom. Yet 1 John 1:8 says “If we say we have not sinned we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.” Remember: “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). Neither lying, greed, or divorce are in God’s character. He will never divorce His bride! Yet there is the reality of weakness in human nature. How does God deal with that? He takes the tender heart of the human who throws him or herself on the mercy of God through Jesus Christ.
So are there any conditions where a person can divorce? Yes. In Matthew 5:32 Jesus Himself said that marital infidelity was a cause for divorce. In 1 Corinthians 7:15 Paul tells a person who is married to an unbeliever to let them leave if they want to, presumably including divorce. I would also suggest that there is a principal called “the more serious sin.” If a woman is in fear for her life and the only way to get away from a husband is to divorce him then divorce is certainly less murder!
So speaking of heart attitude, let’s move on:
13 – 16 Little Children (children have access to God, especially the child at heart)
It seems that the disciples forgot Jesus’ words about kids back in Capernaum. Perhaps they thought reaching out to children was a waste of their and the Master’s time. In that society, men came first, women and children afterwards. Kids were to be seen and not heard. Their needs were very much secondary. It was customary to bring kids (babies to pre-teen) to be blessed by a rabbi but the disciples would have none of it.
Jesus response is “indignant” which is a strong emotional word directed at His disciples. Nothing seems to get God upset than when innocent ones are kept from approaching Him. He responds with two commands: “let them come” and “don’t hinder them.” Trust like a child is what Jesus looks for in anyone—children trust what you say, and rely on you for nurture, protection, and guidance. They don’t need everything spelled out and they are naturally loving and trusting. Their hearts are moldable. These are just the type of characteristics we need to have in the attitude of our hearts when approaching Jesus.
Notice that Jesus took time with each child. He didn’t just “touch” them but “laid His hands on them.” He also blessed them. The Greek verb suggests He “kept blessing them” in a fervent way. What I love about this is that this is how Jesus wants to reach out to you, if your heart will turn soft towards Him and you will simply believe what He says and trust Him.
Conclusions
In a way, this portion of the chapter is very empowering to two classes of people who were considered less-than in their culture. Jesus’ strong stand against divorce protected women from being used and abused. Jesus’ welcoming of children elevated them to a higher status and serves as an example of the way we should approach God.
Just as in the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus said that hating your brother was like murdering them, in God’s character, divorce is never an option. However, just as we don’t brand everyone who has ever hated as a murderer, we need to realize we live in a fallen world where we rely on God’s mercy and focus on having a soft heart towards Him in all things. We should make divorce the last possible option, knowing that there will be consequences.
Humans are always trying to see how much we can get away with by trusting our own senses and desires. Children, however, when it really matters, simply want someone to care for them, someone that they can trust.
Don’t look for the exception or the concession but always for the ideal. If you can’t meet it then just trust in the mercy and advocacy of Jesus but don’t let your mind be deceived that the exception should be the rule and the norm. Trust in God’s mind and thinking, not your own. Let your heart be softened and molded into His way of thinking.
Don’t misuse God’s thoughts to justify your desires. We want a legal answer, we want “permission”, but God wants a spiritual reality and something that fully mirrors His character.
Our first inclination is to find an easy out. Obeying God is harder but the better way in the long run.
