Jamie Lynne Grumet has become the poster mom of attachment parenting. With her almost-four-year-old son, Aram, at her breast, the 26 year old Los Angeles mother’s turn as a Time cover model has given the world a lingering visual of what so-called extended breastfeeding looks like. Although the magazine doesn’t hit stands until Friday, it went from zero to outrage in seconds flat. For one thing, it’s rare to see a mom publically breastfeed a child who is older than one, maybe two. In an interview on Time’s site, Ms. Grumet, who was breastfed herself until she was six, discusses her choices - including the fact that she also breastfeeds her five-year-old son, who was adopted from Ethiopia in 2010. As for people who shudder at extended breastfeeding, she says:“They are people who tell me they’re going to call social services on me or that it’s child molestation. I really don’t think I can reason with those people. But ... people have to realize this is biologically normal. It’s not socially normal. The more people see it, the more it’ll become normal in our culture. That’s what I’m hoping. I want people to see it.”
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/time-magazine-cover-shows-mother-breastfeeding-3-year-old/article2429063/?utm_medium=Feeds%3A%20RSS%2FAtom&utm_source=Life&utm_content=2429063
The Apostle Paul faced many critiques against himself and his ministry. At the climax of his impassioned defense before his critics recorded in 1 Thessalonians 2, he reveals a most attractive warmth from deep within. He was a man of feelings, a man of warmth, a gentle-man! The very language of these verses oozes a sensitivity not often associated with Paul. To describe his own gentleness, he uses the soft, warm picture of a mother nursing and cherishing her own children (Demarest, G. W., & Ogilvie, L. J. (1984). Vol. 32: The Preacher’s Commentary Series, Volume 32 : 1, 2 Thessalonians / 1, 2 Timothy / Titus. The Preacher’s Commentary series (56). Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson Inc.)
Regardless of the mothering instruction or example that you have had, if you have lost a child or never had children, 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 is instructive in the most important factor: love. `Moms who Love` will impact others beyond what we can imagine. In this section, the Apostle Paul speaks of a mother’s 1) Gentleness (1 Thessalonians 2:7), 2) Intimate affection (1 Thessalonians 2:8a) and 3) Sacrificial love (1 Thessalonians 2:8b) which are the qualities that he sought to exemplify to be a leader for the health of the church.
1) Gentleness (1 Thessalonians 2:7)
1 Thessalonians 2:7 [7]But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.
Paul begins with the important distinction: "but", which contrasts the conduct of his colleagues and him with the sinful behavior of the false teachers (vv. 2, 4). Paul reminded the Thessalonians that instead of operating by the deceitful abusiveness of Satan’s agents, they proved to be gentle among you.
The term gentle is at the heart of this verse. It means being kind, tender and considerate, concerned for the well-being of the other, instead of being severe, or hard (Green, G. L. (2002). The letters to the Thessalonians. The Pillar New Testament commentary (127). Grand Rapids, Mich.; Leicester, England: W.B. Eerdmans Pub.; Apollos.)
It encompasses a host of other virtues: acceptance, respect, compassion, tolerance of imperfections, patience, tenderheartedness, and loyalty. There is no tenderness quite like a mother’s, and Paul dared to identify with maternal love and care. Greek writers used the term gentle to describe those who dealt patiently and with a mild manner toward those who were difficult—obstinate children, unmanageable students, those who had not reached maturity and were experiencing the inconsistencies and struggles of development (Larson, K. (2000). Vol. 9: I & II Thessalonians, I & II Timothy, Titus, Philemon. Holman New Testament Commentary; Holman Reference (23–24). Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers.).
It is important to consider that before the care of others is considered, self-consideration is necessary in a particular way. If a nursing mother does not feed herself, she cannot (properly) feed her baby. If she eats certain foods, her baby will get sick. Similarly the spiritual diet of a parent Christian is vitally important to the health of a newer Christian (Walvoord, J. F., Zuck, R. B., & Dallas Theological Seminary. (1983-). The Bible knowledge commentary : An exposition of the scriptures (1 Th 2:7). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.)
Paul explained his degree of gentleness toward the Thessalonians by comparing it to a nursing mother who is tenderly taking care of her own children. The taking of care is at times rendered with the verb "tenderly" which literally means to warm with body heat. The loving mother would take the little one in her arms and warm the child with her own body heat. Such a vivid metaphor perfectly illustrates the kind of personal care the Thessalonians received.
Please turn to Ephesians 5 (p.979)
The taking of tender care can also be rendered as cherish (θάλπῃ). The tender care that a mother gives can impact in many spheres. In Ephesians 5 it is applied to the marital relationship and used illustratively of the church itself (Vincent, M. R. (2002). Word studies in the New Testament (1 Th 2:7). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.).
Ephesians 5:25-33 [25]Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26]that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27]so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28]In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29]For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30]because we are members of his body. [31]"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." [32]This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33]However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (ESV)
The picture of love in 1 Thessalonians 2:7 is very personal, as the phrase her own children indicates, Paul was no paid surrogate mother or modern-style, hired day care worker. The apostle exhibited the same feelings as a nursing mother when he cared for the Thessalonians’ spiritual needs. The figure implies a special effort to protect and to provide for every need, even to the extent of great sacrifice (Thomas, R. L. (1981). 1 Thessalonians. In F. E. Gaebelein (Ed.), The Expositor’s Bible Commentary, Volume 11: Ephesians through Philemon (F. E. Gaebelein, Ed.) (254). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House.).
From an outside perspective, these qualities would appear to be sentimental, weak, and unproductive. But good parents are concerned about their children’s hearts, and exemplify self-sacrifice as Christ did. Paul, unlike the enemies of the truth, was not harsh or indifferent, but tenderly nurturing.
There is a physical example that is most illuminating:
Illustration: After a woman gives birth, when she is holding her baby, her core body temperature will raise by as much as 2 degrees in order to help keep the baby warm. Research has shown that even tiny premature babies can be kept warm with skin to skin contact with their mother and you don’t have to worry about the length of time they are out of the incubator as long as they are with their mother because her body will regulate her temperature to keep the baby warm. This is the only time in a woman’s life when her core body temp will increase that much and that quickly. One of those amazing human design features by our Creator! (Andrea Bothwell)
2) Intimate affection (1 Thessalonians 2:8a)
1 Thessalonians 2:8a [8]So, being affectionately desirous of you, (we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us). (ESV)
Please turn to John 15 (p.902)
As a nursing mother is ready to impart not only her milk to them, but her life for them, so (the picture here of tender compassion is of one who) not only imparted gladly the spiritual milk of the word to you, but risked our own lives for your spiritual nourishment, imitating (Christ) who laid down His life for His friends, the greatest proof of love (Jamieson, R., Fausset, A. R., Fausset, A. R., Brown, D., & Brown, D. (1997). A commentary, critical and explanatory, on the Old and New Testaments (1 Th 2:8). Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.).
John 15:9-15 [9]As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. [10]If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. [11]These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. [12]"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. [13]Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. [14]You are my friends if you do what I command you. [15]No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. (ESV)
• For many Mother’s day can be a difficult time for those who have lost their mothers. The joy however can remain in the remembrance and following the example of their selfless love
In extending the metaphor of a nursing mother, it was logical for Paul to mention the motive for such nurturing gentleness—love. He was affectionately desirous/fond affection for the Thessalonians. A mother who carries an infant son or daughter on her breast is naturally affectionately desirous/fond affection that is unequalled in other human contexts. The Greek word translated affectionately desirous/fond affection (homeiromai; used only here in the New Testament) means to long for someone passionately and earnestly, and, being linked to a mother’s love, is intended here to express an affection so deep and compelling as to be unsurpassed. The term used for love should include all the activities which express friendship and fellowship (Ellingworth, P., & Nida, E. A. (1994). A handbook on Paul’s letters to the Thessalonians. UBS handbook series; Helps for translators (30). New York: United Bible Societies.).
• This is where the love of a godly mother translates. The respect and admiration is not merely for the feelings conveyed but shown in such a tender manner. We are not merely to have warm feelings for others but a love that translates into an action of friendship and fellowship.
Lest we think this is a so called fair-weather feelings, it helps to delve further into the original meaning. The language Paul uses to speak of his love for the congregation is not found elsewhere in the NT, and is even rare in the literature of the era. The Greek term (homeiromenoi) means “desire greatly” or “long for,” a word found in such contexts as a funerary inscription that tells how the parents long for their deceased son (Green, G. L. (2002). The letters to the Thessalonians. The Pillar New Testament commentary (128). Grand Rapids, Mich.; Leicester, England: W.B. Eerdmans Pub.; Apollos.)
Ancient inscriptions on the tombs of dead babies sometimes contained this term when parents wanted to describe their sad longing for a too-soon-departed child.
• Mother’s Day can be an especially difficult time for a mother who has lost a child. If the child died early on, there are questions as to what the relationship could have been. For a child that died later in life, there are fond memories and a pain of loss.
• What God is saying here through the Apostle Paul is that there is the continued ability for a mother to show affectionately desirous/fond affection to others even in the loss of a child.
Illustration: What happens when motherly affection is missing?
Salimbene, a thirteenth-century historian, wrote this about the attempt of King Frederick II to raise children without maternal affection: “He wanted to find out what kind of speech children would have when they grew up if they spoke to no one beforehand. So he forbade foster mothers and nurses to (nurse) the children, to bathe and wash them but in no way to (talk) with them, for he wanted to learn whether they would speak the Hebrew language, which was the oldest, or Greek, or Latin, or Arabic, or perhaps the language of their parents, of whom they had been born. But he labored in vain, because the children all died. For they could not live without the (affection) joy, and loving words of their mothers.” (Cited in Gary Collins, Fractured Personalities, [Carol Stream, Ill.: Creation House] pp. 35–36.)
3) Sacrificial love (1 Thessalonians 2:8b)
1 Thessalonians 2:8b [8](So, being affectionately desirous of you), we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us. (ESV)
The personal and intimate supernatural affection exhibited here was not out of a sense of obligation; they were not merely carrying out an assignment as God’s messengers. It was, rather, the highest joy of their hearts to so love. Paul said they were ready/well-pleased to so minister. That desire defined an eagerness and zealousness generated from love-filled hearts (cf. 3:12). That they were ready/well-pleased denotes a predetermination of the will (The Pulpit Commentary: 1 Thessalonians. 2004 (H. D. M. Spence-Jones, Ed.) (27). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.)
• Being a godly mother, like all other ministries, it one of a determined readiness. It is not taking each day at a time, or where the wind blows, but having a purposeful determination. It means living a life with a joyful purpose.
This joyful purpose was first of all to share/impart … the gospel of God. The verb translated share/impart means to share, or give someone something of which one retains a part. That is exactly what happens when Christians share/impart to other people divine truth. They give someone else the good news of salvation, yet without losing possession of it themselves. Paul in Gal. 4:19 also portrays his role in relationship to his converts as maternal, in that case laboring (that Christ be formed in them) (Witherington III, B. (2006). 1 and 2 Thessalonians : A socio-rhetorical commentary (81). Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.).
Please turn to Romans 1 (p.939)
One of the greatest pains in a mother’s heart is a situation where her child does not know Jesus. To be apart in life is hard, even as a child grows up, but to contemplate an eternity without those you love, is a pain impossible to express. This is not easy to say and it is not at all comfortable to talk about on this happy day, but to not say things that can make an eternal difference is not expressing love. Love is honest about the consequences of a life lived apart from God. (http://www.churchleaders.com/outreach-missions/outreach-missions-articles/160811-6-great-church-outreach-ideas-for-mother-s-day.html?p=2)
Romans 1:8-12 [8]First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is proclaimed in all the world. [9]For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that without ceasing I mention you [10]always in my prayers, asking that somehow by God’s will I may now at last succeed in coming to you. [11]For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you-- [12]that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine. (ESV)
Paul and his fellow workers taught the transforming truths of the gospel of God ( 2:2) and yet retained those truths, even strengthening them by the giving (as all good teachers know), thus forming a loving, enriching fellowship with those who accepted the message. Implicit in the expression gospel of God is a doctrinal fullness that encompasses justification, sanctification, and glorification (cf. Titus 1:1–2). (And because God is the source of the good news, even election is included.) The missionaries understood and obeyed the Great Commission’s injunction that said Christians were to “make disciples of all the nations … teaching them to observe all that I commanded you” (Matt. 28:19–20). They exhorted the Thessalonians to repent and embrace Christ’s death and resurrection (justification). They also instructed them on how to live holy lives in obedience to Scripture and in the power of the Holy Spirit (sanctification) and to wait for their eternal glory at the glorious coming of the Lord for His beloved church (glorification).
• The proper desire for a mother, and all those involved in the instruction of children, is not only to impart basic truths, but to train a child in ethical decision making so he or she can use the Scriptures by the power of the Holy Spirit themselves. Giving a list of do’s and don’ts without the understanding of why only sets a child up for future rebellion, for when they are challenged they will not have an answer and fall to temptation.
Besides imparting the complete gospel, Paul, Silas, and Timothy shared also their own selves/lives. The root motivation for such self-giving is love (agapē). God’s agapē love is expressed supremely in Jesus’ self-giving death on the cross. Paul verbalizes the depth of his affection by calling the Thessalonians beloved (agapētoi), using that special word for sacrificial self-giving love (Elias, J. W. (1995). 1 and 2 Thessalonians. Believers church Bible commentary (68–69). Scottdale, Pa.: Herald Press.).
There was nothing superficial or partial about sacrificial service. A woman who fulfills the biblical role for motherhood does the same thing when she, at great cost to herself, unselfishly and generously sets aside her life for the benefit of her beloved children. That is especially true of the nursing mother as she provides nourishing milk for her little one and cares for her newborn baby’s every need.
• Physiologically, immune response goes to a child in womb to protect him or her, often at the expense of a mother.
• After birth, mothers will often give up many personal benefits for the sake of their children. It truly is an amazing picture of what Christian love is as an example for all to emulate.
There is a tender balance in this verse Paul gave the truth and himself. It is not enough to visit people in the hospital or prison, or to show compassion to the poor or those new in the faith. Somewhere, carefully and candidly, they must also hear the truth of the cross and what it means to trust and follow Christ. Arguing whether the church should meet people’s physical needs or whether it should limit itself to preaching the gospel is like debating which wing of an airplane is more important. Both are essential! (Larson, K. (2000). Vol. 9: I & II Thessalonians, I & II Timothy, Titus, Philemon. Holman New Testament Commentary; Holman Reference (24). Nashville, TN: Broadman & Holman Publishers.)
The willingness of parents to sacrifice for their offspring, the tenderness and patience with which an adult child will care for an aging parent, or the friend who is there without question or hesitation are familiar to most of us. But even in cases such as these there are no guarantees, and as a culture an increasing number of us have neither experienced self-giving love nor even observed it in action. Why is this? Because ours is a self-centered age, and true love is sacrificial.
Quote: As one author said: “Tell me how to show love without spending time, energy or money, and I will gladly sign up. Tell me that love means sacrifice, however, and I become reluctant to commit myself.” (Bill Hybels, Who You Are When No One’s Looking (Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity, 1987), 83.)
Apart from the self-centeredness characteristic of our fallen human nature, so overwhelming are the cultural messages to look out first and foremost for our own interests and to seek first our own happiness that we are reluctant to commit to helping others without fully knowing the cost or limits in advance. The risk to our own interests if we do otherwise, we have been persuaded, is simply too great. In an age so committed to self-interest, Paul’s example of (self-sacrificial mother’s love) is pointedly countercultural. In deciding how to spend his time, he did not think first of his own needs or rights, but those of the Thessalonians. For their sake and because of his love for them, he was willing... to share with them not only the gospel but his life (2:8). In doing this he was, of course, simply following the model of Jesus, who put a priority on giving rather than getting, on serving rather than being served, on loving rather than being loved ((Holmes, M. (1998). The NIV Application Commentary: 1 and 2 Thessalonians (77–79). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House.)).
Paul ministered to his people with an attitude of all-out commitment because, as babies to a mother, they had become very dear to him: they were beloved (‘agape’). Jesus Himself taught that a display of Christian love would convince the world that believers are His disciples (John 13:35). Paul and his companions relied on this spiritual fact to substantiate the reality of their ministry, for they convincingly displayed Christian love in Thessalonica. (One does not have to give birth to another to be a mother who loves.) What is Christian love? Christian love is the noblest, purest, strongest (action) any man or woman can display: it is pure goodness without self-interest, it is a godly love which seeks only the spiritual good of the beloved. Jesus described this selfless love as extending to a willingness to lay down one’s life for another (John 15:13)—there can be no self-interest in that act (Mills, M. (1999). The Thessalonian epistles : A study guide to (1 Th 2:7). Dallas: 3E Minstries.).
Love is always a verb, it is doing. Feelings may accompany love, but they do not define it. Instead, the commitment of acting in the best interest of another opens the way for feelings. ... Parents and teachers, coaches and mentors, pastors and leaders know what it means to give part of their heart away to others. Love is not just a job. It is a way of life. The thought is—As a nursing mother not only nourishes her children, but is also ready to sacrifice her life for them; so (for one to follow this example, it means) nourishing (others) with the pure milk of the gospel, and ready to sacrifice ones own life for their spiritual maintenance; thus (we see exemplified "Moms who Love" and the example to follow) (The Pulpit Commentary: 1 Thessalonians. 2004 (H. D. M. Spence-Jones, Ed.) (27). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.)
The irony in this is that in giving of himself for the sake of others, Paul found happiness and satisfaction for himself. Indeed, if 2:8 is any indication, Paul seems a bit overwhelmed by the extent to which the relationship with the Thessalonians developed; in loving others he seems to have received back more than he could have imagined. In so doing, he proved the truth of what Jesus taught when he said, “Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it” (Luke 9:24 NIV [adapted]). (Holmes, M. (1998). The NIV Application Commentary: 1 and 2 Thessalonians (77–79). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House.)
(Format Note: Outline & some base commentary from MacArthur, J. (2002). 1 & 2 Thessalonians (43–47). Chicago: Moody Press.).
