You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling
Sermon 1 in the series “You’ve Got Mail”
Chuck Sligh
July 24, 2022
For the PowerPoint for the sermon, write me at chucksligh@hotmail.com.
Skeleton outline borrowed from “When The Honeymoon Ends” by LeLand Patrick. The meat on the bones is mine and I hope does not negatively reflect on Bro. Patrick’s original sermon.
TEXT: Turn in your Bibles please to Revelation 2
INTRODUCTION
Today I want to start a seven-sermon series on the messages Christ gave to the seven churches in Asia in Revelation 2-3.
There are various ways of interpreting these messages to these seven churches.
First, they may be viewed PROPHETICALLY. – Many dispensationalists believe each of these churches represent a different stage of church history over the past 2,000 plus years.
But I believe the most natural interpretation is to view them PRACTICALLY. – While these messages speak of specific churches in that day, they will also speak to every church in existence today, and so God has a word for Grace Baptist Church in these letters.
But whether you primarily interpret these seven messages prophetically, or practically for church congregations, we should also view them PERSONALLY.
These letters speak to congregations, but congregations are made up of individuals. So God has something to say to you and to me about our relationship with Him. So let’s begin our series first by opening in prayer. (OPEN IN PRAYER)
Please stand with me in honor of God’s Word as we read out text: Revelation 2:1-7 – “Unto the angel [lit. “messenger” which refers to the pastor or elder] of the church of Ephesus write; These things saith he that holdeth the seven stars in his right hand, who walketh in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks; 2 I know thy works, and thy labor, and thy patience, and how thou can not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars: 3 And hast borne [i.e., “have endured”], and hast patience, and for my name’s sake hast labored, and hast not fainted [i.e., “grown weary”]. 4 Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love. 5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent. 6 But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. 7 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the tree of life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God.”
Illus. –A few weeks ago I had the joy of being at our youngest son’s wedding. After Allen and Brooke tied the knot, they went on their honeymoon in Bermuda. On their return they’re doing like all couples do just after their honeymoon—kissin’ and huggin’ at the least excuse, hanging all over each other like two earthworms in heat, and being EXTREMELY courteous and helpful and loving and gentle.
Now I know what most of you are thinking; [GET AUDIENCE RESPONSE:] You’re thinking, “Just wait till the WHAT ends?” (Answer: THE HONEYMOON!) Boy, you’re a cynical bunch!
One of the most well-known pop songs of the twentieth century expresses the heartbreak and heartache of the loss lovers feel when “the honeymoon ends”:
You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips.
And there’s no tenderness like before in your fingertips.
You’re trying hard not to show it, But baby, baby I know it...
You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling, Whoa, that lovin’ feeling,
You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling, Now it’s gone...gone...gone...wooooooh.
How many of you had the tune going on in your head while I was saying the lyrics?
You know folks, we shouldn’t lose that loving feeling towards our spouses. The honeymoon should never end! Yeah, I know that something more substantive replaces the feeling of first love, but really, marriage should have a love that is always fresh and always filled with passion.
Now this same principle applies to the spiritual life. When a person comes to Christ, the spiritual journey is much like a honeymoon. There should be passion, zeal and enthusiasm for Christ. ¿However, as time rolls along, that “first love” can diminish, can’t it?
This is what happened in the church at Ephesus. Today I want to examine this church and learn from it like a doctor would. He would diagnose a medical problem, assess the damage and then prescribe a remedy.
I. FIRST, NOTICE THE LORD’S DIAGNOSIS OF THE PROBLEM. – It was three-fold:
1. First, they had ACTIVITY WITHOUT INTIMACY.
Notice again in verse 2, “I know thy works, and thy labor, and thy patience,” and verse 3 repeats that they had labored for the Lord.
That’s a good thing. We’re called to LABOR for the Lord and to SERVE Him and people. In several of these messages to the seven churches, Jesus repeatedly commends them for their works and labor, so working of the Lord is GOOD.
But look down at verse 4 where Jesus says: “Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.” They were a BUSY church…but Jesus said they had “left their first love.” If we’re not careful, we can be busy doing activities but lack intimacy with Jesus.
Illus. – Have you ever read the book, The Five Love Languages? In this excellent book every couple should read, author Gary Chapman explains that we all have a certain way that we feel loved and naturally love others; what he calls “love languages.” Your marriage can get in trouble if you love your spouse the way YOU best feel loved, when in fact your spouse may appreciate what you’re doing, but not truly feel loved because he or she has a different love language. When you do that, it’s like you’re both speaking to each other in different language, and not understanding what the other really means.
For example, a couple came to me once in which the husband’s love language was ACTS OF SERVICE, but hers was QUALITY TIME. He was so busy going about DOING things for her because he thought that was how to show her his love the best, but he never had time to spend quality time with her. Frustrated, she complained that she didn’t sense he loved her because he rarely spent any time with her, causing him to become defensive and list all the things he dutifully and lovingly did for her.
Now let me transition to the spiritual and ask youy a question: Which do you think is most important to God: Service for Him or time with Him?—Actually, BOTH. God DOES want us to serve Him, but He wants us to have quality time with Him as well, and works of service are no substitute for time with God.
The Ephesians were like Martha who worked and labored serving Jesus. She became indignant that her sister Mary sat at the feet of Jesus showing her love to and worshiping Him, so Martha asked Jesus to rebuke her. But His response was, “Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: 42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
Folks, SERVE Jesus; WORK for Him; LABOR in His vineyard…but be sure to find time to love on Him daily in the Word and prayer and corporately at the church with other believers.
2. The second diagnosis is that they had FAITHFULNESS WITHOUT FERVENCY.
In both verses 2 and 3 Jesus commends them for their endurance and patience, yet He criticized their lack of passion in verse 5. If you’re faithful to church, but just sit glumly and don’t participate in the worship or listen intently to the message, or respond when God speaks to your heart, God will commend you for your faithfulness, but He’ll rebuke you for your lack of passion just as He did with the Ephesian believers. The whole tenor of Scripture is that we should serve and worship God passionately, wholeheartedly, with ALL our hearts! And if we make our Quiet Time something we do out of duty and obligation, then I commend you for at least having one—that’s more than can be said about many—but how much better to do it with intentionality and purpose and passion!
3. And then lastly, notice that they had ORTHODOXY WITHOUT LOVE.
Jesus commended this church for standing firm against false teaching, specifically the doctrine of the Nicolaitans, which we won’t elaborate on today because it’s not pertinent to our study this morning. The point is they took a strong doctrinal stance but lacked intimacy with God.
This can be true of many fundamentalist believers who stand strong against doctrinal impurity but often lack a love in in dealing with debatable matters of convictions and preferences. It’s so easy for such a person’s faith to devolve into legalism—a list of do’s and don’t’s that define behavior without necessarily having—even needing—an abiding relationship with Christ and a passionate love for and loyalty to fellow believers. No wonder Paul says in 2 Corinthians 3:6, “…the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.” In other words, doctrine without spirituality is deadness.
So first the Lord gives His DIAGNOSIS.
II. SECOND, NOTICE THE DAMAGE THE LORD SEES.
When a doctor makes diagnoses, he has to assess the damage before prescribing a remedy. The church at Ephesus was damaged by a coldness and a loss of passion.
What can cause us to become cold and passionless in our service of God?
1. It could first of all be the result of NEGLECT.
Illus. – This is similar to what occurs when a campfire is neglected. – You better keep stoking it, or it will go out. To stay “fired up” for God, you need to stoke the fires of love for the Lord. We’ll talk more about how Jesus says to do that in a moment.
2. We can also lose our passion due to DISTRACTIONS.
We can become so wrapped up in the affairs of this life—making a living, taking the kids hither and yon, shopping, watching TV—that we don’t find time for the most important things in our relationship with the Lord. I’m not saying these are evil things. I know some are necessary things, but let’s be honest: some of them are elective.
Illus. – There is nothing wrong with reading the news online. – But if I’m not careful, I can find myself spending too much time clicking from link to link.
My middle son, Jon, sometimes sends me fake news stories from the Onion News Network. – They’re so hilarious that sometimes I’ll watch one, which leads to another, then another, then another—until I realize I’ve just thrown an hour down the drain.
Facebook is a wonderful way to stay connected with friends and loved ones. – It’s also one of the worst time-wasters in history.
There’s nothing wrong with any of these things in moderation and under control, but we have to constantly prioritize our lives and make sure we do the BEST things even if we cut back on some elective things, no matter how good or morally neutral they may be.
3. Third, we can lose our passion because of UNDEALT-WITH SIN.
If you continue to disobey the Lord in an area you know is wrong and you just refuse to deal with your sin, you lose that close fellowship with the Lord we all so desperately long for. When that happens, it seems as if the Lord has moved away from us; He seems distant and remote. But in reality, it’s WE who have moved away from the Lord, not the other way around. James advises us to “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.” (James 4:8)
If we continue to serve without intimacy, be faithful without fervency or remain doctrinally pure but fail to show love, Jesus warns the Ephesians how dangerous this is. In verse 5, He warns that He would remove their lampstand, unless they changed. This is tantamount to saying they would cease to exist. Or they might very well go on having church meetings, but Jesus would dim their light in their community and it would lose its power and effectiveness.
Jesus has given His diagnosis and assessed the damage done.
III. FINALLY, HE GIVES THE EPHESIANS THE REMEDY.
A simple way to understand the remedy is to focus on 3 “R’s”.
1. First is the word “REMEMBER.” – Verse 5 begins, “Remember therefore from where you are fallen…”
Remember what it was like during the honeymoon stage. Go back in your mind to a time when passion prevailed in your spiritual life. Relive it and analyze why you lost that loving feeling with God in the first place.
Illus. – I remember years ago when Susan and I were going through one of the worst crises of our marriage. We were so desperate that we were tossing around the word divorce. We had fought all night, and there seemed to be no hope.
We finally went to bed and the next morning, I started thinking back to the honeymoon phase of our marriage. I realized that I had stopped doing the things that I used to do to fan the flames of love between us. I had taken her for granted—something I NEVER did when we were in our first love stage. I didn’t cherish her like I used to. Whereas in the early days, I was careful to speak lovingly and sweetly, I now found it easy to respond sometimes unlovingly or insensitively. It was time to make a change.
Have you lost your first love for the Lord? Where did you start to lose your passion for Him? Did you start to neglect quality time with the Lord?
* Was it when you got too busy doing perfectly good stuff to find time for the best thing of all—fellowshipping with your heavenly Father?
* Was it when He convicted you that a certain thing was wrong—or wrong for you—and you refused to give it up and you lost that close sense of His abiding presence with you?
Go back and find out where you started to grow cold and passionless for the Lord.
2. The second “R” is also in verse 5: “REPENT.”
“Repent” is more than just saying “I’m sorry.” The Greek word simply means to “change your mind.” If you’ve lost that loving feeling about your spouse, you’ve started to think wrong thoughts about him or her and about the relationship. – You’re focusing on the bad things and thinking about how good it was when you were single and your heart is turned to other things or people besides your spouse.
To fall back in love, you’ve got to change your mind about these things so that you change your actions. In the spiritual realm, you’ve got to change your mind about your sin and disobedience and turn your heart away from earthly things and back to God.
3. And the last word is “REPEAT.”
Repeat what?—Jesus says in verse 5: “…do the first works…”. To “do the first works” means to repeat the things that made your heart first burn for Jesus—reading His Word; praying regularly; being faithful to His church where your fires will be fanned by preaching and teaching and by other believers who can encourage and exhort you; getting involved in a homegroup to keep the fires burning during the week; witnessing for Him.
Go back to that place where you first knew Him, find where you got off track and get back to doing the things that fanned your passion for the Lord.
CONCLUSION
Illus. – When I did those three things with Susan, she quickly responded to my overtures of love. I had hurt her, so I needed to go back to where I had done that and ask her forgiveness. I changed my mind, and told her I wouldn’t do the things I’d been doing that were damaging our relationship. And then I did the things that made her feel loved and special again. It wasn’t long before that rough spot in our marriage became a faint memory because fellowship was restored.
Right now, at this moment, I want you to honest with yourself and with Jesus. Have your left your first love? Are you busy working out of duty and not out of love? Can you honestly say that you are filled with fervent, emotional, extravagant love for Jesus? Or would you have to admit that your heart has grown cold, that your zeal is not what it once was, and that you need to remember, repent, and repeat the first works?
If He has spoken to your heart this morning, you need to deal with Him now. The time is now and the place is here, right here at this altar to REMEMBER where you went wrong, REPENT of it, and RETURN to doing the first works.
If you’re here and you’ve never trusted in Christ to save you from your sins, I invite you to come forward during the invitation so someone to take the Bible and introduce you to the most wonderful Person you will ever know—the One who died for your sins so you could have peace with God.
