Title: Measure of Forgiveness
Theme:
Text: Matthew 6:12,14-15
Matthew 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Introduction
Max Lucado, “In the Grip of Grace”
Each week Kevin Tunell is required to mail a dollar to a family he’d rather forget. They sued him for 1.5 million but settled for $936, to be paid a dollar a time. The family expects the payment each Friday so Tunell won’t forget what happened on the first Friday of 1982.
That’s the day their daughter was killed. Tunell was convicted of manslaughter and drunken driving. He was seventeen at the time. She was eighteen. Tunell served a court sentence. He also spent seven years campaigning against drunk driving, six years more than his sentence required. But he keeps forgetting to send the dollar.
The weekly restitution is to last until the year 2000. Tunell makes the check out to the victim, mails it to her family, and the money is deposited in a scholarship.
The family has taken him to court four times for failure to comply. After the most recent appearance, Tunell spent thirty days in jail. He insist that he’s not defying the order but rather is haunted by the girl’s death and tormented by the reminders. He offered the family two boxes of checks covering the payments until the year 2001, one year more than required. They refused. It’s not the money they seek, but penance.
Quoting the mother, “We want to receive the check every week on time. He must understand we are going to pursue this until August of the year 2000. We will go back to court every month if we have to”.
Few have questioned the anger of the family. Only the naïve would think it fair to leave the guilty unpunished. But I do have one concern. Is 936 payments enough? Not for Tunell to send, mind you, but for the family to demand? When they receive the final payment, will they be at peace? In August 2000, will the family be able to put the matter to rest? Is eighteen years’ worth of restitution sufficient? Will 196 months worth of remorse be adequate?
We have all been hurt
Not one of us will ever make it through life free of injury. Someone somewhere has hurt you or will hurt you. We have all been a victim. The victim here died because someone drank too much but many people die because someone spoke too much, demanded too much, or neglected too much.
The question we must ask ourselves is how much payment is enough? When can we say, “Ok you have done enough or time is up” let me forgive. Many people go through life with hurt and pain that has been caused by another. Their whole life now has been aimed at getting back at them.
Never wanting to let them forget the pain they caused. Holding on to past hurts and injury. “As long as I suffer, you suffer. As long as I hurt, you hurt. You cut me, and I’m going to maker you feel bad as long as I bleed, even if I have to reopen the wound myself.”
Over and over we carry this in our heart. Every chance we get to get back at the person whether it is to their face or to others, whether it is in casual conversation or on the subject, we take it. Soon it numbs the pain of being hurt. Actually we come to enjoy it even though we annoy others with our constant bickering and complaining about what so and so did. Soon hurt becomes hate and hate becomes rage. We become addicted to criticism looking for the next fix on the next person who hurts us even if it was unintentional.
The question we ask is, “How will the score be settled? How do I break the cycle? How many payments do I demand? Peter asked a similar question to Jesus
Peter’s forgiveness question
Master, how often to I forgive my brother who hurts me? Seven? (Matthew 18:21 MSG)
Peter was worried about over-forgiving an offender. (If there is such a thing.) The Jewish law stipulated that the wounded forgive three times. Peter was willing to double that and add a little extra for good measure. No doubt he thinks that Jesus is impressed. Jesus is not. He answers, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven” (vs. 22 MSG).
If you have already figured that to be 490 times then you have missed the points. He is not telling us to keep tabs on mercy. He is telling us that mercy in not based on a number but on grace.
Now some are saying, “But you don’t know what they did to me.” “You don’t know my father and how mean he was.” “You don’t know that person and what they did to me”. You don’t know my boss and how he fired me for no cause” They don’t deserve forgiveness. Let us see what Jesus says.
The Unforgiving Servant
MT 18:23 "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents (several million dollars) was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 "The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,' he begged, and I will pay back everything.'27 The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
This servant had a major problem. Some how he had amassed a bill worth more than a million dollars. He would have to make $1000 dollars a day for 30 years just to pay this all. We know what the odds are of doing that as a servant.
His debt was far greater than he could pay. But isn’t that how we are. As who we are don’t we have a debt of sin far greater than we can pay.
Our pockets are empty with a million dollar debt
Our pockets are empty will our debt is millions. We don’t need a salary; we need a gift. We don’t need swimming lessons; we need work in our place. That “someone” is Jesus Christ. “God makes people right with himself through their faith in Jesus Christ . . . God gave him as a way to forgive sin through faith in the blood of Jesus’ death” (Romans 3:22,25)
The Father has forgiven an insurmountable debt.
This is what that servant was faced with. So he says (in jest) “Be patient with me,” he pledged. “I will pay you everything I owe.” The thought of pleading for mercy did not cross his mind. And though he never begs for grace it is still offered.
The problem is he don’t believe it.
MT 18:28 "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. (few dollars) He grabbed him and began to choke him. `Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. 29 "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, `Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
Something must be wrong with this picture. Are these the actions of a man forgiven millions? Choking a person who owes him a few bucks? Are these the words of a man who has been set free?”
He demands his debtor to be placed in jail until he can repay. What was he going to do in jail? Sell magazines. Who knows? This is what hatred will do, it will blind you and cause you to do things that just don’t make sense.
Beleieving the Grace of God
What happened? This man had a hard time believing that he was totally debt free. His faith was too small in the king. Because of this he could not understand what happened. Maybe he believed that the king would reinstate this debt so he wanted to build a fund.
Who knows? When people have a hard time forgiving they have a hard time receiving Christ’s forgiveness.
Where the grace of God is missed, bitterness is born. But where the grace of God is embraced, forgiveness flourishes. Paul tells Timothy in what some consider his last letter, “be strong in the grace we have in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 2:1)
In other words Paul is telling Timothy, “If you miss anything don’t miss the grace that God had for you, apply it to others”.
You say, “But Brother Hardee they have to pay for what they did.”
Yep, somebody will and somebody did.
You say, “But they don’t deserve forgiveness.” Yep they don’t but do we.
The choice of unforgiveness is hatred. Look what happens when we let that rule.
“The master was very angry and pt the servant in prison to be punished until he could pay everything he owed.”
Prisons of Hatred
Unforgiving servants will wind up in prison. God doesn’t have to put us in jail we put ourselves there.
“Some men stay healthy till the day they die . . . others have no happiness at all; they live and die with bitter hearts.” (Job 21:23-25 TEV)
Conclusion
Hatred as a cracked windshield
Hatred and unforgiveness is very gradual. The damage begins like the crack in a windshield. The man driving the truck with no tarp. A rock flies out and hits the windshield. Barely making a mark. Soon the windshield is as a spider web of fragments. You can’t drive your car with out thinking about that driver who drove too fast. You make all kinds of descriptions for this person. His carelessness blocked your vision. (And this is not including the windshield).
The question is what is the penalty? How much do they owe us? How long will we let it to continue?
