In an issue of the AARP Bulletin, readers were asked to respond to the question: What’s your strategy for coping with stress? The answers ranged from “eat a chocolate chip cookie” to “have a stiff drink.” But Don Betz of Oakdale, Minnesota, offered his own unique solution. Every January 1st, Betz says, “I give my wife $1, and she worries about everything for both of us.”
But that is not the whole plan. Betz added, “If someone else wants to be worry free, they can also send her a dollar.” (“Sound Off,” AARP Bulletin, March 2005; www.PreachingToday.com)
I suppose there are a lot of strategies for handling stress, but few of them work very well, not the least of which is letting your wife do all of the worrying. So then what is a good strategy for handling stress? What is the best way to overcome worry? What is a good antidote for anxiety?
Well, I think we can learn some lessons from Joseph’s brothers in the Old Testament. They’re in a high state of panic after they returned from Egypt. They were like a bunch of country boys going to the big city, which was intimidating enough. But then they had to beg to buy grain from a powerful Egyptian ruler, who accused them of being spies. He took one of them as prisoner and demanded that they bring back their youngest brother to prove the veracity of their story. There is a severe drought in the in the land and now they have to go back to Egypt to buy more food.
If you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Genesis 43, Genesis 43, where we pick up the story and learn some important principles about coping with stress.
Genesis 43:1-7 Now the famine was still severe in the land. So when they had eaten all the grain they had brought from Egypt, their father said to them, “Go back and buy us a little more food.” But Judah said to him, “The man warned us solemnly, ‘You will not see my face again unless your brother is with you.’ If you will send our brother along with us, we will go down and buy food for you. But if you will not send him, we will not go down, because the man said to us, ‘You will not see my face again unless your brother is with you.’ ” Israel asked, “Why did you bring this trouble on me by telling the man you had another brother?” They replied, “The man questioned us closely about ourselves and our family. ‘Is your father still living?’ he asked us. ‘Do you have another brother?’ We simply answered his questions. How were we to know he would say, ‘Bring your brother down here’?” (NIV)
Do you sense the anxiety in their words? Israel and his sons are afraid. They’re afraid of starving to death. They’re afraid of losing their little brother, and they’re afraid of appearing again before this powerful Egyptian ruler who took one of them prisoner last time they were there.
Genesis 43:8-10 Then Judah said to Israel his father, “Send the boy along with me and we will go at once, so that we and you and our children may live and not die. I myself will guarantee his safety; you can hold me personally responsible for him. If I do not bring him back to you and set him here before you, I will bear the blame before you all my life. As it is, if we had not delayed, we could have gone and returned twice.” (NIV)
In essence, Judah offers his own life for his brother’s life. That’s what he means when he says to his father, “You can hold me personally responsible” and “I will bear the blame” if he dies. He’s desperate. He knows they’ll all die anyway if they don’t get any more food.
Genesis 43:11 Then their father Israel said to them, “If it must be, then do this: Put some of the best products of the land in your bags and take them down to the man as a gift—a little balm and a little honey, some spices and myrrh, some pistachio nuts and almonds. (NIV)
These were delicacies probably not found in the land of Egypt. You see, Israel is eager to appease the anger of the mighty Egyptian ruler, hoping against hope that he won’t take his youngest son, as well.
Genesis 43:12-14 Take double the amount of silver with you, for you must return the silver that was put back into the mouths of your sacks. Perhaps it was a mistake. Take your brother also and go back to the man at once. And may God Almighty grant you mercy before the man so that he will let your other brother and Benjamin come back with you. As for me, if I am bereaved, I am bereaved.” (NIV)
It’s as if Israel is resigned to the worst fate possible. He fears losing his family, and his sons fear losing their freedom as they go to Egypt.
Genesis 43:15-23 So the men took the gifts and double the amount of silver, and Benjamin also. They hurried down to Egypt and presented themselves to Joseph. When Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to the steward of his house, “Take these men to my house, slaughter an animal and prepare dinner; they are to eat with me at noon.” The man did as Joseph told him and took the men to Joseph’s house. Now the men were frightened when they were taken to his house. They thought, “We were brought here because of the silver that was put back into our sacks the first time. He wants to attack us and overpower us and seize us as slaves and take our donkeys.” So they went up to Joseph’s steward and spoke to him at the entrance to the house. “Please, sir,” they said, “we came down here the first time to buy food. But at the place where we stopped for the night we opened our sacks and each of us found his silver—the exact weight—in the mouth of his sack. So we have brought it back with us. We have also brought additional silver with us to buy food. We don’t know who put our silver in our sacks.” “It’s all right,” he said. “Don’t be afraid. Your God, the God of your father, has given you treasure in your sacks; I received your silver.” Then he brought Simeon out to them. (NIV)
Simeon was the brother that was taken prisoner the last time they were in Egypt.
Genesis 43:24-25 The steward took the men into Joseph’s house, gave them water to wash their feet and provided fodder for their donkeys. They prepared their gifts for Joseph’s arrival at noon, because they had heard that they were to eat there. (NIV)
They’re hoping their gifts will appease this mighty Egyptian ruler, but they still don’t know what to expect.
They’re afraid, and many people are afraid today. Like Israel’s sons, some of us fear losing our freedom in a world that is becoming less and less secure in the face of terrorism or other threats. Like Israel’s sons, some of us are not sure about the ability to feed our families with all of the economic uncertainty. Or like Israel’s sons, some of us fear losing our children or our grandchildren, not so much to an Egyptian ruler, but to the decadence of our age.
THERE IS A LOT OF ANXIETY OUT THERE.
A California pastor, Kyle Idleman, talks about his last move in his book, Not a Fan. In that move, he saved the heaviest piece of furniture for last – the desk from his office. And as he was pushing and pulling the desk with all his might, his four-year-old son came over and asked if he could help. So together they started sliding it across the floor. His little boy was pushing and grunting as they inched their way along. But after a few minutes, he stopped pushing, looked up at his dad, and said, “Dad, you’re in my way.” Then he tried to push the desk all by himself. Of course it didn’t budge. (Kyle Idleman, Not a Fan, Zondervan, 2011, pp. 96-97; www.PreachingToday.com)
How often do some of us do that with our Heavenly Father? In the course of trying to move our lives along, we say, “God, you’re in my way,” and think it all depends on us. Then we wonder why we’re so full of anxiety and getting nowhere.
Even so, there is an antidote to all that anxiety. There is a way to overcome all our fear. There is a way to handle all our worries, whatever they may be. And I think you know what it is: stop trying to push and pull your life into place, and start relying upon your Heavenly Father, the Almighty God Himself. For you see, if we’re going to overcome our fears, we need to…
REMEMBER THAT GOD IS FAITHFUL.
We need to recall that our Heavenly Father is able and willing to protect and provide for His own. We need to realize that our Lord has the power and the desire to care for us, His children.
I think Israel is beginning to remember that himself. As he sends his sons off to Egypt, he says in verse 14, “May God Almighty grant you mercy…” Israel is recalling what his own father had said to him years before when he left home for the first time, running from a brother who had threatened to kill him. Israel’s father, Isaac, had said, “May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers…” (Genesis 28:3). Israel is also recalling what God himself told him when he returned home to Bethel more than 20 years later. God told him, “I am God Almighty; be fruitful and increase in number” (Genesis 35:11).
Israel is remembering his “God Almighty,” and that’s what we need to do if we want to overcome our fears. We need to remember that God is the Almighty One, able and willing to care for His own.
Pastor John Ortberg talks about walking on Newport Beach in Southern California with two of his pastor friends many years ago. They walked past a bar where a fight had been going on inside, which right then and there spilled out into the street. Several guys were beating up on another guy, and he was bleeding from the forehead. John Ortberg and his friends knew they had to do something; so they walked over and said, “Hey, you guys, cut that out!” It didn’t do much good.
Three pastors are just not very intimidating, but all of a sudden the guys who were fighting looked at those pastors with fear in their eyes. The guys who had been beating up on the one guy stopped and started to slink away. That’s when Ortberg and his friends turned around and saw the biggest man they had ever seen coming out of the bar. He was something like six feet, seven inches, maybe 300 pounds, maybe 2 percent body fat. Just huge. They called him “Bubba” (not to his face, but afterwards, when they talked about him).
Bubba didn’t say a word. He just stood there and flexed. You could tell he was hoping they would try and have a go at him. Ortberg says, “All of a sudden my attitude was transformed, and I said to those guys, ‘You better not let us catch you coming around here again!’ Ortberg was a different person because he had great, big Bubba. He says, “I was ready to confront with resolve and firmness. I was released from anxiety and fear. I was filled with boldness and confidence. I was ready to help somebody that needed helping. I was ready to serve where serving was required. Why? Because I had a great, big Bubba. I was convinced that I was not alone. I was safe.” (John Ortberg, in the sermon Big God/Little God, www.PreachingToday.com)
Imagine having someone like Bubba around 24 hours a day. It would give us a fundamentally different approach to life. All the anxiety and fear would disappear.
Well, have we forgotten that someone greater than Bubba is with us all the time? He’s God Almighty (El Shaddai), and He will never leave us nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6; Hebrews 13:5). So don’t be afraid any longer. Don’t let anybody or anything intimidate you any longer. Don’t be afraid to serve or do whatever He wants you to do, because He will take care of you.
If we want to overcome our anxiety, we must remember that God is faithful. More than that, if we want to win over worry, we must…
REMEMBER THAT WE ARE FORGIVEN.
We must realize that God no longer holds our sins against us. We must recognize that there is absolutely no condemnation for those of us who are depending on Christ.
You see, Joseph’s brothers were scared, because they didn’t know they were forgiven. They thought God was out to get them, and that he was going to use this powerful Egyptian ruler to do it, but look at how Joseph treats them.
Genesis 43:26-30 When Joseph came home, they presented to him the gifts they had brought into the house, and they bowed down before him to the ground. He asked them how they were, and then he said, “How is your aged father you told me about? Is he still living?” They replied, “Your servant our father is still alive and well.” And they bowed low to pay him honor. As he looked about and saw his brother Benjamin, his own mother’s son, he asked, “Is this your youngest brother, the one you told me about?” And he said, “God be gracious to you, my son.” Deeply moved at the sight of his brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep. He went into his private room and wept there. (NIV)
Joseph is moved to tears at the sight of his brothers, and especially at the sight of Benjamin, his youngest brother. This is an answer to Israel’s prayer in verse 14, when he said, “May God Almighty grant you mercy before the man…” The word for “mercy” literally means “brotherly love” and comes from the Hebrew word for womb. Those who have shared the same womb have a special relationship, and this word speaks of that relationship. Well, that same word is used here in verse 30 where it says Joseph was “deeply moved” at the sight of his brother. Literally, his brotherly love grew warm; it made him tender towards his brother, so much so that it made him weep.
Genesis 43:31-32 After he had washed his face, he came out and, controlling himself, said, “Serve the food.” They served him by himself, the brothers by themselves, and the Egyptians who ate with him by themselves, because Egyptians could not eat with Hebrews, for that is detestable to Egyptians. (NIV)
There was a definite “pecking order” in Egyptian society back then. The rulers ate by themselves, because they didn’t associate with ordinary people, and no ordinary Egyptian would ever eat with a foreigner.
Genesis 43:33 The men had been seated before him in the order of their ages, from the firstborn to the youngest; and they looked at each other in astonishment. (NIV)
They were astonished, because this Egyptian ruler seemed to know so much about them.
Genesis 43:34 When portions were served to them from Joseph’s table, Benjamin’s portion was five times as much as anyone else’s. So they feasted and drank freely with him. (NIV)
Literally, they drank and got drunk with him. They were having a great time together! Joseph feeds them from his own table, which was a special honor in those days, because they were being fed royal food. These foreigners were being fed the food of kings, an honor that very few Egyptians themselves enjoyed.
You see, Joseph was not out to get them. He had already forgiven them, and now he wants to throw them a party. He wants to honor them as royalty, because that is what they are as his brothers. Oh, if only they had known that they were forgiven, they wouldn’t have been so afraid.
How about you and me who know Christ? Do we sometimes forget that we have been forgiven and so live our lives in fear during those times? Please, if you want to overcome your fear, then remember you are forgiven as believers in Jesus Christ.
The Bible says, “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Christ paid the price for our sins on the cross. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). Those who have put their trust in Christ fear no condemnation from God, because He has already judged their sins on the cross.
There is no double jeopardy with God. In other words, we don’t have to fear being judged twice for our sins. They were already judged on the cross, so we will not be judged for them again.
We are forgiven! And now Christ Himself wants to throw us a party and treat us as royalty, because that is what we are as His brothers and sisters. The Bible says, “We are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ” (Romans 8:17). So don’t be afraid any longer, because you are forgiven and dearly loved!
Marian Liautaud, a Christian author and contributing editor of Christianity Today, talks about her days as a little girl when her dad kept a coin jar on his dresser. Every night when he got home from work, the first thing he did was head upstairs to change his clothes. She could hear the familiar jangling of coins as they spilled from his pocket and he set them in the jar. When Marian was about nine years old, she decided his coins should be hers. Over time, she pilfered a few nickels here, a handful of pennies there. And before she knew it, she had successfully swindled her dad out of his loose change, and he never even noticed.
Sometime later, guilt gripped her. She knew that what she’d been doing could only be considered stealing. She had no way to explain away her behavior. So with a pounding heart, she penned an apology to her dad, confessing her sin and asking him to forgive her. She tucked it under his coin jar along with a pile of pennies as restitution.
Then she waited anxiously for her dad to confront her. Day One went by, and he didn’t say anything. Another day passed; still nothing. And then another, and another. Eventually, Marian forgot about the note.
Then one day out of the blue, her dad stepped into her bedroom and said, “Marian, I got your note and the pennies.” Marian says, “My heart raced; my throat felt like a marble was lodged in it… I was expecting punishment, but… he seemed on the verge of tears. But that didn’t make any sense. I had wronged him. He had every right to be mad and punish me. Instead he said, ‘Thank you’ and…gave me a hug.”
And then he left.
They never spoke of it again.
Marian says, “I stood there dumbfounded. Why, when I fully deserved my father’s wrath, did he instead show me mercy? I didn’t deserve it; I hadn’t earned it. I felt like a criminal let off scot free!
“This was my first powerful lesson on judgment and grace,” she says, and continues, “Since then I’ve never gotten over the way grace feels. It’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never does. It’s experiencing utter relief and humility in the face of guilt because you know how bad you can be, but God (or your daddy) chooses to love and forgive you anyway. It is truly God’s riches at Christ’s expense. (Marian V. Liautaud, “The Sweet Relief of Grace,” KyriaBlog, 6-27-11; www.PreachingToday. com)
Dear friends, if you have never experienced that kind of forgiveness and grace, please, trust Christ today, who died for you and rose again. Trust in the One who loved you even while you were still a sinner.
And if you have already trusted Christ, please, let this truth grip your heart: YOU ARE FORGIVEN! Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, and let the truth of your forgiveness drive away your fear, for the Bible says, “Perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18).
The point is: God loves you! God is not out to get you. God is out to give you the riches of heaven when you trust in His Son, Jesus Christ. Don’t ever forget it, for if we want to overcome our fears, then we must always remember: God is faithful and we are forgiven.
I am loved, I am loved, I can risk loving you
For the one who knows me best loves me most.
I am loved, you are loved – Won’t you please take my hand?
We are free to love each other – we are loved. (William J. and Gloria Gaither)
