We often hear the term "holding a grudge". What is a "grudge", what does it look like, and how does one "hold it"?
"Grudge" is an actual word and it’s dictionary meaning is:
a feeling of resentment or ill will over some grievance, or to harbor resentment.
To "hold or carry a grudge" would then mean : holding onto or carrying around a feeling of resentment over some grievance.
This seems to be a very unfortunate and burdensome way to live. The word itself even has a negative sound to it. Say it out loud with me………….Don’t you hear the "Grrrrr...udge" To me that sounds like the beginning of a growl, "grrrr" and the ending "udge" reminds me of something heavy that won’t budge. So this word’s meaning and sound are both negative, and it is not really a word that we should want in our vocabulary.
A ’grudge" is not an actual physical thing that can be picked up, carried or visibly seen. But it is something that is "carried" internally, it is real, it is heavy, and the effects of carrying it internally can be seen outwardly in our actions toward others and ourselves. It can cause great harm to us and others physically and mentally, and though it is not tangible, it can grow and become bigger and in time it could completely rob our lives of certain things.
We are warned against grudging. In several Scripture throughout the Bible but for this morning’s message, God has led me to Ephesians 4: 31-32.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
The Scriptures are speaking of grudges and they are telling us to simply get rid of them and have a forgiving heart of others. This sounds so so easy doesn’t it? Just stop, don’t do it, move on, forget about it. The question is can we, CAN WE REALLY?
We must if we want get rid of our grudges if we are to live productive lives. I do believe all of us want to have a life rich with Jesus don’t we?
Have you ever been robbed? Has someone ever stolen something from you that you worked hard to obtain? If so, I am sure you didn’t sit back and allow someone to rob you but it happened didn’t it
Friends, this is what we are allowing grudges to do with us as well. When we hold onto a grudge we are sitting back and allowing it to rob us.
First of all we allowing it to
I. Rob us of Joy.
A.If you really want to be happy and have joy in life, DON’T hold grudges!
1.When you are holding a grudge, the hate that you are experiencing inside of you and can steal the joy out of your life.
2.It’s pretty hard to be happy when all that is on your mind is the wrong that someone has done to you isn’t it?
Illustration: Last week Stacy and I were blessed with a Gift Card to Red Lobster from Cecil and Linda Todd of Revival Fires Ministries. Did you know they have their special going on right now? “The Endless Shrimp Special” I had to get in on this fantastic deal so I ordered it but soon found out that their Endless Shrimp had pretty much ended.
They start you off with a small portion of shrimp and then once you finish it you tell your waiter to send more out but the time in which it took to receive more shrimp was absurd. It was taking no less than 15 minutes between orders just to receive an extremely small portion of Shrimp.
This bothered me so much that all I could think about even when my shrimp did arrive was how long it took to get it and how upset I was. I couldn’t enjoy my food because I was holding on to a grudge thinking to myself how they really should change the name from endless shrimp to endless wait time to get your endless shrimp.
I allowed the thief named Grudge to rob me of the joy of a blessing from the Cecil and Linda. My entire meal was ruined because I allowed it to be.
3.And you know what, the thief named Grudge not only stole my joy at Red Lobster but I became an accomplice to His thievery.
4.I am sure that my complaining about it affected Stacy’s meal as well and took her joy away.
Ephesians 4:29 - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
5.Holding onto a grudge will also affect others around us that are innocent of having anything to do with it at all. In my particular case, it was Stacy.
6.The thief named Grudge can rob us and other of Joy. And it can also ……
II. Rob us of our Time.
A.When you hold a grudge, you have to put energy into it; you have to keep on returning to the memory and feeding your resentment. Although your feelings may be perfectly justified, this process never gets anywhere. And it simply robs your life of time.
1.Isn’t that just how a grudge robs us of our time? Something bothers you but instead of moving forward and you simply hold on to it for dear life, never willing to let it go.
2.PAUSE….. I usually don’t do this during my sermons but I really feel the need to stop right here. Doc received a letter sometime ago that I feel we need to share with you. So I am going to ask Doc if he would please come share it with us.
-DOC’S LETTER:
3.I wonder how many of us are like that with things of the church. How many of us have allowed a grudge to steal what truly matters here in our church.
4.Has some small simple little thing that has nothing in world to do with praising Jesus affected you? Has it taken your time and zapped your energy in serving God? Have you replaced your time of worship, praise and meditation to God with a grudge that you just can’t seem to let go?
5.Not forgiving and holding a grudge can be tragic like this next story.
Illustration: There was a merchant who had identical twin sons. The boys worked for their father in the department store he owned and, when he died, they took over the store. Everything went well until the day a dollar bill disappeared. One of the brothers had left the bill on the cash register and walked outside with a customer. When he returned, the money was gone.
He asked his brother, "Did you see that dollar bill on the cash register?"
His brother replied that he had not. But the young man kept probing and questioning. He would not let it alone.
"Dollar bills just don’t get up and walk away! Surely you must have seen it!" There was subtle accusation in his voice. Tempers began to rise. Resentment set in. Before long, a deep and bitter chasm divided the young men. They refused to speak. They finally decided they could no longer work together and a dividing wall was built down the center of the store. For twenty years hostility and bitterness grew, spreading to their families and to the community.
Then one day a man in a car stopped in front of the store. He walked in and asked the clerk, "How long have you been here?" The clerk replied that he’d been there all his life.
The customer said, "I must share something with you. Twenty years ago I was ’riding the rails’ and came into this town in a boxcar. I hadn’t eaten for three days. I came into this store from the back door and saw a dollar bill on the cash register. I put it in my pocket and walked out. All these years I haven’t been able to forget that. I know it wasn’t much money, but I had to come back and ask your forgiveness."
The stranger was amazed to see tears well up in the eyes of this middle-aged man. "Would you please go next door and tell that same story to the man in the store?" he said. Then the man was even more amazed to see two middle-aged men, who looked very much alike, embracing each other and weeping together in the front of the store. After twenty years, the brokenness was mended. The wall of resentment that divided them came down.
6.It is the little things that divide people and steal time away from our lives. Can you imagine all the special and precious moments in life that is wasted and thrown away due to the thief named grudge?
1 Corinthians 2:10-11 10 Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, 11 in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
7. Paul says that forgiving each other is important. If we don’t, Satan can gain a foothold. Forgiveness is hard. But not forgiving leads to hurt bitterness, anger, resentment and self-destruction. It tears up families, ruins friendships and worst of all it can divide up a church.
8.I think Satan’s trickiest and strongest tactic is to get Christians to not forgive. And he uses Grudges to do his work. It doesn’t pay to keep records of "wrongs" or to hold grudges. Because when we do\, The thief name Grudge will also,……
III.Rob us of our Focus.
A.Holding grudges will seriously steal your energy and prevent you from being able to fully focus on manifesting God’s desires for your life.
-Did you know that being angry (not forgiving) is a sin?
Ephesians 4:26. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
1.It is all right to be angry. God gave us that emotion when something wrong or unfair happens to us or someone else. But don’t sin by not forgiving and letting your angry take control.
2.Things will go wrong in your life. A disagreement, someone cuts you off in traffic, someone wronged you. These things happen. You can spend your time complaining, taking your eyes off of God, or you can find a way to make things better.
3.We need to remember all the other things God has provided. Not only will we be happier, but we will be a positive Christian example to everyone around us.
4.What we are to do then is be patient with one another and forgiving. When someone hurts us we are not to “hold a grudge" but we are to forgive them and drop the offense.
5.Even if they do not pick it up and acknowledge that they put it on us, we will still be set free because we have let it go, and letting it go, means never going back and picking it up again. We are to walk away from it, leaving it behind and never looking back at it. If we can do that, then we can go forward and get our focus back on the things God wants us to be focused on.
6.Forgiving someone is not condoning what they did to us, but it is the first step in setting us free from the criminal that is robbing our lives of so so much. Forgiveness will release healing into our lives and keep bitterness from growing.
Conclusion: There is a thief named Grudge and He comes in and out of our lives. He steal Joy, time and our focus. Bitterness, resentment and un-forgiveness builds up to be very ugly things in our lives and causes a negative effect on all our relationships as they are not pretty and not things people enjoy being around.
So, in thinking upon all of this, it just might be a good time to take a good look at ourselves and see if we are harboring any Grudges.
If we are, we should resolve to let them go. We should take those grudges right now and get rid of them. Then, make it a point to say “I will not allow my life to be robbed by a grudge!".
We will truly be happier for having made that choice. For, if we choose to carry forgiveness in our hearts, there will be no room for any grudges to burden us down, and we will be able to walk in freedom to live joyful, pleasant lives.
