OPEN: This is our last in our series: "What Made America Great."
Over the past weeks we’ve dealt with the Christian Work Ethic, the Godly Freedom we enjoy, and the influence of the Church in shaping the thinking of our early founders.
Today’s sermon focuses on the role Marriage has played in making America great.
In Malachi, God told Israel how important marriage was to Him.
• He said that when people get married “…the LORD (makes) them one”. In flesh and spirit they are his.” Malachi 2:14
• AND He declared He is a “witness between you and the wife of your youth.” Malachi 2:14
Now, apparently, many in Israel had decided that marriage wasn’t all that important.
They didn’t think God’s priority of a lifelong marriage needed to be honored.
And so God was angry.
"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel… " Mal 2:16
And because Israel had become so casual in its view of their marriage vows, God told them: “… You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands.” Malachi 2:13
Essentially God was telling Israel:
I have no great love for you… because you have no great love for the sanctity of marriage.
God WAS bringing judgment upon Israel.
But… if God was bringing judgment upon Israel for their negative attitude toward their vows, just imagine what blessings He might bring on a nation that held marriage in honor.
APPLY: In early America, there was a time when divorce was easily obtained and living together was not uncommon. But then came the Great Awakening – where religious fervor swept across the colonies. And with that great Awakening came a overwhelming desire in many of the colonists to embrace the holiness and righteousness of our God. And with that desire to be holy and righteous marriage began to be held in much higher esteem.
From that day on, the teachings of Bible and the preaching from the pulpits set the tone of the sanctity of marriage so powerfully that Tom Brokaw noted (speaking about the “Greatest Generation” - those who lived thru WWII):
“It was the last generation in which, broadly speaking, marriage was a commitment and divorce was not an option.” Tom Brokaw
In other words: marriage was highly prized in early American culture.
But all that changed by the time of early 60’s.
Since that day, many Christian values have been undermined in America including the commitment people have in marriage and the shame they have in divorce.
But even with that erosion of morality in our nation, there still remained a stigma of shame attached to divorce and a distaste of viewing marriage as a casual contract.
At Least In America.
ILLUS: One article I read told of a study conducted by Pamela Druckerman, a former Wall Street Journal reporter. She surveyed married or committed couples all over the world, and not only charted the international styles and frequency of cheating, but also looked at each country’s capacity for guilt and shame - regarding infidelity.
She found that no other population suffers the same anguish over affairs as Americans do.
Russians regard an affair as if it were a benign vice, like cigars and scotch.
The Japanese have institutionalized extramarital sex through clubs and general lifestyles.
The French, prize discretion in their affairs.
In sub–Saharan Africa, even the threat of death by HIV hasn’t stopped people from cheating.
By contrast - American attitudes toward divorce/affairs… are typically American. We don’t like it. We find shame in these matters. And the reason these things bring shame is because of the teachings of Scripture.
Now, has God blessed America because of its unique attitude toward marriage?
Well, it’s hard to say, but I’d think so.
What we do know is that God withheld His blessings from Israel when it failed to honor it. In fact, we know that Israel wasn’t the only nation to suffer because they abandoned marriage.
ILLUS: In his highly respected book “The Rise And Fall of the Roman Empire” Edward Gibbon cited 5 major reasons that the great empire of Rome fell. Two of those reasons were these:
1. The rapid increase of divorce and the undermining of the dignity and sanctity of the home, which was the basis of society.
2. And religion decayed (at that time Christianity) and became a mere form and becoming impotent to guide the people.
He concluded that Rome wasn’t so much conquered by its enemies… it collapsed
The great nation of Rome was destroyed– in large part – because marriage and faith were destroyed - abandoned by the people of that once great empire. If it happened there, it can happen here too.
Well how do you go about destroy marriage in a culture?
You teach that marriage isn’t all that important.
And that is what is being taught in our movies/ TV shows/ popular books.
Hollywood’s biggest and grandest stars swap partners like trading cards.
Some of our nation’s “heroes” engage in repeated affairs, such as Tiger Wood.
Recently I heard about the once great astronaut Buzz Aldrin. Apparently he’s on his 3rd marriage… and he’s cheating on her.
Then, of course there is the push in Washington D.C. and various state governments to embrace homosexual unions/marriages – things that God clearly tells us are immoral.
ILLUS: Back in 2007, Zogby International and AOL surveyed more than 7,000 Americans and found 44% said didn’t need a marriage certificate to prove love or commitment. These people felt marriage was not necessary in order to have a committed, fulfilling, life-long relationship.
(Jeff Johnson OneNewsNow.com January 7, 2008)
What that means is that our culture has succeeded in tearing marriages down. And part of the reason they’ve been successful is that we’ve been told certain lies over the years.
For example, we’ve been told the lie that 50% of all marriages fail.
Have you ever heard that?
It’s not true.
That statistic was stated by someone who didn’t know how to read.
ILLUS: Pollster Louis Harris stated, "The idea that half of American marriages are doomed is one of the most specious pieces of statistical nonsense ever perpetuated in modern times.
• Only one out of 8 marriages will end in divorce
• and in any single year only about 2% of existing marriages will break up."
(Homemade by Dr. J. Allan Petersen)
We’ve also been told the lie that living together before marriage will help us avoid divorce. You’ll see that idea played out in many of today’s popular TV shows/sitcoms. With romantic music being played in the background the hero will woe the heroine to his bed. And many will find themselves thinking how natural that is.
How Nice.
How Wonderful.
But it isn’t wonderful.
Set aside for a moment the sexual diseases people who live like that can be afflicted with, these Hollywood scripts still don’t tell us the truth.
ILLUS: A study done by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops’ dealing with Cohabitation (Marriage Preparation and Cohabiting Couples). Found that
• Though 76% of cohabiters plan to marry their partner, only about half do,
• And for cohabiters who do marry, the divorce rate is 50% higher than couples who have never live together.
LIVING TOGETHER DOESN’T WORK!
And it never has.
That’s one of the major reasons God condemned this kind of lifestyle in His Word.
So, we’ve been told the lie that 50% of marriages fail.
And we’ve been told the lie that living together is good.
BUT we’ve also been told the lie that religion CAN’T help prevent a divorce.
Well… YES it can.
Glenn T. Stanton, Director of Global Family Formation Studies at Focus on the Family,
"The divorce rates of Christian believers are not identical to the general population — not even close. Being a committed, faithful believer makes a measurable difference in marriage.”
(The Pastor’s Weekly Briefing 2/17/11)
ILLUS: Professor Bradley Wright, a sociologist at the University of Connecticut found that:
• 60 % of those who identify themselves as Christians but rarely attend church divorce
• BUT of those who attended church regularly, only 38 percent have been divorced.
(The Pastor’s Weekly Briefing 2/17/11)
In fact, Professor Scott Stanley from the University of Denver, who is working on the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative, said couples with a vibrant religious faith have more of the qualities that marriages need to succeed. Stanley noted:
"Whether young or old, male or female, low-income or not, those who said that they were more religious reported
• higher average levels of commitment to their partners,
• higher levels of marital satisfaction,
• they think and talk less about divorce
• and they have lower levels of negative interaction" (they don’t yell at each other so much)
(The Pastor’s Weekly Briefing 2/17/11)
Now, why is that?
Why would “religious” people have better marriages?
David Popenoe, PhD (professor of sociology at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, New Jersey, and co director of the National Marriage Project) has some thoughts:
He notes that married people who go to church regularly are more likely to…
1. believe they need to be unselfish and giving in the marriage
2. believe they are answerable to a higher authority. God is looking over their shoulder (that’s what Malachi 2 is saying).
3. and they believe that marriage itself is sacred because God created it.
(From an article by Carol Mithers on MSN.com Lifestyle: Women January 21, 2007)
As Jesus said: “…at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Matthew 19:4-6
Marriage is sacred because God created it!
And so we need to in our power to strengthen our marriages… and those of the ones we love.
ILLUS: For those who witness weddings there is a powerful part you can play in this. The University of Chicago conducted a study where they found that couples that stayed together through adversity had friends who wanted them to stay together and who had a low opinion of divorce. By contrast, married people who spend time with divorced and bitter people tend to divorce at a higher rate.
(Jimmy Evans, presented by Marriage Today 2007)
ILLUS: I conducted a wedding ceremony yesterday. Most of those in the audience were not Christians, but I exhorted them on their role in the ceremony. I told them that they were more than just an audience. They were witnesses. And they held in their hands the ability to make or break this marriage. If they made it their mission to strengthen the marriage of their friends – to build this couple up and stress the importance of being faithful to each other – they could insure their friends against divorce.
And that true of you as well. You (especially because you are a Christian) can be a source of strength to married people by stressing the positives of marriage to them.
For those who are married, God expects you to do everything you can to “guard ourselves” and “not break faith” Malachi 2:16
Ephesians 5 goes further when it says - A husband and wife need to “(Submit) yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” Ephesians 5:21
The wife submits to her husband by honoring him and respecting him (as the Church does for Christ). And the husband submits to his wife by loving her enough to die for her (as Christ did the church).
ILLUS: So, where does God fit into this?
(We showed a graphic on the screen of a man and woman with a line running between them… and with a line running from each of them upwards to a Triangle we titled “God”).
Most relationships are on a horizontal plane. The man and the woman love each other and enjoy each other’s company and affection…. But there comes a day when something happens to spoil that affection. He does something that angers her, or he does something that frustrates her – and suddenly the bloom of love has fallen away. She thinks he no longer “deserves” her respect, or he believes she doesn’t “deserve” his love… and so divorce loom in the background.
But that changes when God enters the picture. If the husband and/or the wife realize that they are to love/respect their spouse for the sake of their God, they suddenly do what they do because there are mindful of God.
And notice on the graph how their lines come closer together the closer they get to God. The closer they live their lives with Jesus, the closer together they will become in their relationship with each other.
So God plays an active role in keeping Christian marriages together.
And to help do this God set up worship atmosphere so that Marriage would be reinforced.
In the Old Testament, God required that the priests were not allowed to be divorced, nor could they marry divorced women (Leviticus 21:7). He required this because the Priesthood were the representatives of God to the people, and so they modeled the purity and sanctity of marriage to God’s people.
And in the New Testament, God set up Elders who were to lead the Church. These Elders were to “… be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.” Titus 1:6
They were to be good fathers and husbands.
And the statement they were to be the husband of one wife indicates they weren’t divorced.
Was that because divorced men had sinned more than men who hadn’t been divorced?
How many of you believe that divorced people have sinned more than those who haven’t been? Of course you don’t. All of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
But in making these restrictions on those who lead the church God was wanting to reinforce the overwhelming importance of marriage as a life-long commitment between a man and a woman.
Does that mean a divorced person can’t serve God in church?
Heavens NO!
In this congregation, those who’ve been divorced in many different ministries.
They’ve preached from the pulpit, given communion meditations, and prayed over the communion and offerings. There’s all kinds of ministries divorced people can take part in in worship.
But Eldership is different. And it’s different because God wants to drive home the sanctity of the marriage vow
One last question:
If marriage is so important to God, and nations are judged by how sacred marriage is to them, what if I’m divorced? Or worse – what if I was the one who caused the divorce?
Can God ever fix what has been broken?
ILLUS: Woman in Illinois began ministering to children from divorced families, attempting to heal their wounds and pain. One of the illustrations that she had them do was this: Take water in Mason canning jar (about 1/2 full) and explain that this water represents the substance of your life. The lady counselor had the children squirt little vials of food coloring into the water in accordance with their pain, anger and hurts.
Some would squirt in only a couple drops, others would almost violently put in as much as they could. In the end, the water was black from the spread of the food coloring.
It was black because no light could get through.
What is God? Light. And He also cannot penetrate a heart that is clouded with hatred, anger, and pain. What is needed is to pour out forgiveness for others so that our hearts can be once again pure and clear before God’s eyes (pour in bleach - it will take about 3 minutes for the cloudiness to clear).
That’s what Christianity is all about
Isaiah taught that when the Messiah came he would declare:
“The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:1-3
CLOSE: John 3:16-17 says
”For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”
Jesus came to heal our brokenness/ to free us from darkness
Jesus came to comfort us in our despair and mourning
To restore what has been lost.
And the way He does that is by removing the darkness of sin from our lives
