God’s Best for One Another
Part 5: Getting Along with One Another
Romans 12:9-16 & Colossians 3:9-14
Sermon by Rick Crandall
McClendon Baptist Church - Sept. 27, 2009
*Just hours before the cross Jesus gave His followers a new commandment. He said to, “love one another; as I have loved you, you also love one another.” (John 13:34)
*Christians loving one another is so important that over 60 times God speaks about how we should treat one another. -- For example, He tells us to:
-Serve one another (Gal 5:13)
-Pray for one another (James 5:16)
-Receive one another (Rom 15:7)
-Comfort one another (1Thess 4:18)
-Build up one another (Rom 14:19)
-Teach one another (Col 3:16)
-And encourage one another (Heb 10:25)
*As we finish our series today, our focus is on how to get along with one another. And that can be hard to do, because like porcupines, we tend to poke each other when we try to get close. (1)
*How does God want us to get along with one another?
1. In today’s first Scriptures God tells us to be authentic and affectionate toward one another.
[1] God wants our love to be authentic.
*As He says in Rom 12:9, “Let love be without hypocrisy.” He is talking about honest, sincere love. God doesn’t want us to be two-faced with each other. He doesn’t want us to have fake or put-on love.
*God wants us to have growing, genuine and sincere love for each other, agape love, -- His kind of love.
-The kind of love that we see in 1 Corinthians 13.
-The kind of love that we see on the cross of Jesus Christ.
*God also wants our love to be holy, so in vs. 9 He tells us: “Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” We are not to be nice to each other, with some ulterior, selfish motive. God wants our love for each other to be pure and holy. He wants our love to be authentic, but there is much more.
[2] God also tells us to be affectionate toward one another.
*He wants our love to remind people of home, home at its best that is. So in vs. 10 God’s Word tells us to “be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;”
*This word translated as “kindly affectionate” or “devoted” in the NIV is found only here in the New Testament. But it was a common word of that day, because it refers to the affectionate kind of love between husbands and wives or parents and their children. This is the kind of affectionate love God wants all Christians to have for one another.
*John Piper explained that God intends for us not merely to do to others as we would have them do to us. He wants us to feel toward other believers a certain way.
*It is true that love is more than feelings. It is true that there are good ways we should treat each other even when we are feeling upset with one another. But it is not true to say that God is content with our treating each other decently while feeling hard toward each other.
*The command for believers in vs. 10 is for us to have “tender affection toward each other in family love.” C.S. Lewis compared this affection to the love that arises through natural attachment, as with a child, a dog, a favorite old shabby sweater or a spot in the woods. We are to feel a tender affection for each other. (2)
Again in vs. 10, God’s Word tells us to “be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;”
*It’s not enough for us to grit our teeth and be nice to one another.
-God commands us to have real affection for each other.
-And the idea behind “preferring one another” or giving preference to one another” is that each one of us sets the example.
-Each one of us goes first, leading the way in honoring others before your self.
*The good news is that we can have this kind of remarkable relationship with each other, because of our relationship with Christ.
-Believers, we are born again with the loving nature of Jesus Christ!
-And Rom 5:5 tells us that “the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
*So whenever we don’t have this tender affection for each other, we need to confess. We need to repent, and as Paul said in Rom 12:2, we need to be “transformed by the renewing of our minds.”
*God wants our love to remind people of home. On top of that, He wants our love to be helpful and hospitable. As Paul said in vs. 13, we should be “distributing to the needs of the saints, and given to hospitality.” And because of the connection we have in Jesus, we can share this authentic, affectionate love with total strangers.
*Yesterday morning I woke up thinking about one of those times in my life. It was during a mission trip I got to take to Ukraine in the summer of 1997. We were on the deck of a ship in the city of Sevestopal with a group of young Ukrainian Christians. The leaders of that group were three former drug dealers who had been wonderfully saved by Jesus. And they were called by God to start churches in that city.
*These people were so poor. The average income over there was $50 a month when you got paid, and lots of months they didn’t. But there they stood singing with all their hearts:
“Give thanks with a grateful heart.
Give thanks unto the Holy One.
Give thanks because He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son.
And now let the weak say, ’I am strong.’
Let the poor say, ’I am rich,
Because of what the Lord has done for us.’ -- Give thanks.” (3)
*There on that boat I felt most tender affection for people I had never met, and would probably never see again this side of Heaven. We shared that love because we shared Jesus. And that’s the way the Lord wants us to love one another, day-in and day-out through thick and thin.
*How does God want us to get along with one another? -- Be authentic and affectionate.
2. But also be sympathetic and same-minded toward one another.
[1] God wants our love to be sympathetic toward one another.
*So in Romans 12:15, He says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”
*“Weep with those who weep.”
-It is a holy thing to see, and I have seen it countless times over the years: Christians sharing the pain of someone else’s loss. This is the kind of love that grows in a small group like a Sunday School class. So I urge you to get involved in a group like that. You will find love to help carry you through the darkest days of your life. We are to “weep with those who weep.”
*But God’s Word also tells us to “rejoice with those who rejoice.”
-That can be harder. We can fake it pretty well. But it’s hard to rejoice when someone else gets the new car, the girl, the job or anything else we might have wanted.
*Listen to part of a testimony from a Christian author who lives in Toronto. His name is Tim Challies and he says:
*“Last weekend the house next to us was given an extreme makeover. Our neighbor, who has 3 sons with varying disabilities, was sent away for the weekend and returned to find her house completely renovated. The volunteers who gave of their time for this program did an incredible job. They replanted and resodded the yards, laid new floors, repainted the entire house, and added some beautiful new furniture.
*We were there when Barb and the family arrived home. It was a great deal of fun to see their joy, as they saw their new home.
*Because the house was a construction zone for 3 days, it was not a great weekend for those of us who live around the place. For much of the weekend there was sawing, banging, hammering and talking. Groups of people, including TV crews moved in and out from dawn until long after dusk.
*We were thrilled for Barb. Unfortunately, most of our neighbors were not. On Friday evening, one neighbor called the police to lodge a complaint about the noise, even though it was only 8 PM.
*The police arrived and, recognizing the work from an article in the local newspaper, said they were unwilling to do anything. On Saturday I saw some other neighbors yelling at one of the crew members who had parked in the wrong spot.
*On Sunday, our neighbors were gathered in small groups, gossiping and muttering to themselves, making “choking” gestures towards the workers. It was pathetic. We were shocked. We just couldn’t believe that our neighbors were unable to be happy on Barb’s behalf. Not a single one of them waited outside when Barb returned home. Not a single one offered her any congratulations. (4)
*But God tells us to “rejoice with those who rejoice.” He wants our love to be sympathetic.
[2] God also wants our love to be same-minded.
*That’s why Romans 12:16 says, “Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.” The NIV puts vs. 16 this way: “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.”
*What does it mean to be same-minded? -- Well, the word picture is “thinking the same thing.” That doesn’t mean we will all like the same kind of ice cream or agree on every little thing. It does mean that we will have the same attitude of love and respect for each other even when we disagree. It also means that we will have a better opinion of each other than we have of ourselves.
*How does God want us to get along with one another? -- Be sympathetic and same-minded toward one another.
3. But also be forbearing and forgiving.
*We see these facets of love in Col 3:9-13. Here Paul said:
9. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds,
10. and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him,
11. where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all.
12. Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
13. bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
[1] God wants our love to be forbearing.
*That word “bearing” or “forbearing” in the KJV has the word picture of standing firm, putting up with some pain or suffering. It’s the idea is that I may get hit by someone I love, but I won’t let that knock me down or out. I am going to keep on loving them the way the Lord wants me to.
*God wants our love to be forbearing.
[2] He also wants our love to be forgiving.
*Again in vs. 13, “bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”
*God’s church is a family, a great family, the best family the world will ever see. But like any family, God’s church is going to have some problems. There are no perfect churches because there are no perfect people.
*As Roger Thomas once said: “The church is like a family. That’s the good news. Now the bad news: The church is like a family. All families have their moments.”
*Roger added: “Of course, ours was the exception. When our 3 were younger, they always got along like perfect little angels. They got it from their father’s side, I am sure! At least that’s the way I remember it ever since Rose shut the garage door on my head!
*Our youngest son was all of the time telling his big sister she was the best big sister in the whole world. Of course, it was always when she was sitting on his chest, threatening to pull his hair out if he didn’t say it!
*I do have these vague memories of somebody else’s kids saying, ‘He won’t leave me alone. Make him scoot over. He’s touching me again. He ate all my candy. She won’t share. She gave me a dirty look. He shot me with the BB gun. She said she was going to stab me with a butcher knife. She’s got a knife!” (5)
*Families don’t always get along. Brothers and sisters quarrel. And sometimes that’s true in God’s church.
*The church is like a family. But it is no ordinary family. This is the household of God. That means there’s a lot at stake. We have a special responsibility. The Father’s reputation is on the line. That’s why God carefully tells us how to treat each other: “Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”
*Forgiveness: We all need to get it. As someone once said in the Houston Chronicle: “If you could spank the person who gives you the most trouble, YOU wouldn’t be able to sit down for a month.” (6)
*We all need to get forgiveness. And Christians, we all need to give it.
*Corrie ten Boom told an amazing story of Christian forgiveness. It happened in Africa, and she later wrote:
“A man came to a meeting with bandaged hands. I asked him how he had been injured. He said, ‘My neighbor’s straw roof was on fire; I helped him to put it out and that’s how my hands were burned.’
*Later she heard the whole story. The neighbor hated him and had set his roof on fire while his wife and children were asleep in the hut. They were in great danger.
*Fortunately, he was able to put out the fire in his house in time. But sparks flew over to the roof of the man who had set the house on fire and his house started to burn.
-There was no hate in the heart of this Christian; there was love for his enemy.
-And he did everything he could to put out the fire in his neighbor’s house.
-That is how his own hands were burned.” (7)
*That Christian man gave amazing forgiveness. And of course, we should too because we have been forgiven in an amazing way.
*Jesus Christ took the full punishment for our sins. He stretched out His hands and died on the cross for us, so that we would not have to spend eternity in hell.
*All of your sins will be forgiven, if you trust in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, if you receive the risen Savior. And for this reason, we must also forgive.
-It all comes back to love. As we see in Col 3:14, “Above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.”
*Sometimes we will be hurt, but we can forgive. And it will show we are saved, because the love of Jesus Christ will be reflected in our lives. As Jesus said on the night of the new commandment: “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
*If you don’t know Jesus we hope that you can see His love in us today.
-But at our best, we are only a dim reflection of the love He has for you.
*Jesus died on the cross for your sins, and the Risen Savior will forgive you fully, if you will open your heart to trust in Him.
-You can do that right now as we go to God in prayer.
1. Wayne Brouwer, Holland, Michigan. Leadership, Vol. 17, no. 2 (Found on Bible Illustrator for windows - Topic: Forgiveness - Index: 1314-1316 - Date: 4/1998 - Title: Fellowship Among Porcupines)
2. Adapted from KERUX SERMON COLLECTION - ID Number: 674 - PREACHER: Rev. John Piper - LOCATION: Bethlehem Baptist Church; Minneapolis, Minnesota - DATE: 6/4/1995 - MAIN TEXT: Romans 12:9-13 - Title: Love One Another With Brotherly Love”
3. "Give Thanks" by Henry Smith - copyrighted in 1978 by Integrity’s Hosanna! Music - recorded by Don Moen - released in 1986 by Integrity, Hosanna! Music, and Sparrow.
4. FRIDAY JULY 28, 2006 - REJOICE WITH THOSE WHO REJOICE - Tim Challies from Toronto - www.challies.com/archives/articles/rejoice-with-th.php
5. SermonCentral sermon “Church Family Matters” by Roger Thomas - 1 Tim 3:15, 5:1-8 - June 2005
6. Adapted from Houston Chronicle, 2/1/8, p.E2 (Found in “IN OTHER WORDS” - Feb. 2008 #1 - produced by Dr. Raymond McHenry - 6130 Barrington ~ Beaumont, Texas 77706 (800) 553-4697 - www.iows.net)
7. SermonCentral illustration contributed by Dave Allen
