Family Friendly Truth - Part 2
Ephesians 5:22-6:4
Sermon by Rick Crandall
McClendon Baptist Church - Aug. 31, 2008
*Walt Larimore tells about a unique phone call he had from his dad on the day Walt’s daughter turned six. Walt’s dad wished his granddaughter a happy birthday, then asked to speak with his son.
*Granddad congratulated Walt and noted that it was his "one-third birthday." Walt was confused since it was his daughter's birthday, and she had only turned six. Then Walt’s dad said, "Yes, but one-third of your life with her at home is now over." (1)
*It was a stunning statement, but it was true. When we are young, it seems like our children will be home with us forever. But looking back, we find that they are grown and gone in a blink. That’s just one reason to realize how precious our families are.
*Our families are precious to us, and they are infinitely more precious to the Lord. God created families. He loves families. He knows the best way for families to thrive, and He shows us in His Word. Let’s take a look at some family friendly truth.
1. The first truth is for wives: Give your husband the head place in your family.
*Let your husband be the head of your family. Listen to Paul’s guidance in Eph 5:22-24.
22. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
*Then in vs. 33 Paul says, “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
*Many people will tell you that this family truth is obsolete. Do not believe them. This Scripture is just as relevant today as it ever has been, so let’s try to see what it means.
*Notice that Paul tells wives to submit right after he tells all Christians to submit to each other in reverence for God. This kind of submission then should be normal behavior for ALL Christians. It’s normal and it is voluntary. Christian wives, the word picture means voluntarily putting yourself under someone else. It’s you letting your husband be the head of your family.
*Of course this submission does not give your husband the right to bully you, or rule over you with an iron thumb. Paul said, “Submit to your husband, as to the Lord.” Just think about your relationship with Jesus. Does He ever bully you or push you around? Is He ever mean to you? -- No, of course not.
*But why does God ask you to “submit to your husband, as to the Lord”?
-Mainly because your marriage is a model of the relationship between Jesus and the church. Christ is the Bridegroom, and the church is the Bride of Christ. So your submissive heart can help point people to Jesus, especially the other people in your own family.
*Another big reason why God asks you to submit to your husband is because He created men with a built-in need to be respected. Men generally respond to respect. It charges us up and motivates us to be the husband you want us to be.
*Years ago, Coach Pepper Rodgers was in the middle of a terrible football season at UCLA. It got so bad that it even upset his home life. Pepper later said: “My dog was my only friend. I told my wife that a man needs at least two friends. -- And she bought me another dog!” (2)
*Ouch! -- Ladies, don’t be like that. Give honor and respect to your husband. But know that this certainly does not mean men are better than you. If anybody has dropped the ball in American society, it’s the men!
*My wife is a strong woman. And she is a better person than me in a lot of ways. But she willingly submits herself to me. Why does she do that? Is it because I deserve it? -- Occasionally, and hopefully more and more. But that is not why Mary submits to me.
*The main reason why my wife voluntarily submits to me is because she gets it.
-Mary understands that this is God’s plan for families.
-That God designed our earthly family to point us to His Heavenly family.
-That Christ is the Bridegroom and the church is the Bride of Christ.
-And Mary understands that showing respect helps make me a better husband.
*So Wives: Give your husband the head place in your family.
2. And Husbands: Give your heart to your wife.
*Vs. 25 is a most profound truth for us as husbands. Paul said, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it.” Men: There is no doubt that God gives the greatest responsibility to us. We are to love our wives the way Jesus Christ loves us.
1-That means our love must be sacrificial.
-In John 15:13, Jesus said, “Greater love has no man than this, for a man to lay down his life for his friends.” Jesus Christ gave His life on the cross for us. He made the ultimate sacrifice for us. And God wants us to love our wives with this same kind of love. Love her with sacrificial love.
2-And love her with sure love, -- always there, always faithful.
-Can you imagine Jesus Christ being unfaithful to His church? Never! And He wants us to be just as true to our wives. Love your wife with sure love.
3- And love her with serving love.
-In vs. 26&27, we see the Lord doing great things for the church: sanctifying and cleansing “her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”
*These verses remind me of one of the most memorable things the Lord did on the night before He died on the cross. Jesus got up from supper and picked-up a towel and a bowl of water. Then He began to wash the disciples’ feet.
*Jesus Christ loves us with serving love. And He wants you to love your wife the same way.
4-But also love her with supplying love.
-God has promised to supply all of our needs, and He wants us to supply our wife’s needs. In vs. 28&29, the Lord asks us to take care of our wives, just as we would our own body, “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.”
*Nourish there is the idea of providing for your wife and protecting her. Cherishing her involves tender love and care, treating her like a treasure, because she is a treasure from God.
*Ralph Landis was the resident physician at Lawrence Univ. for over 50 years. Shortly before he died, he spoke to a younger doctor of a sorrow, -- something entirely out of his control, but a sorrow that easily could have destroyed him.
*Ralph and his wife had two sons. Three days before Christmas, the first son died of scarlet fever, now easily treatable by penicillin. And on Christmas Day the second son died. Dr. Landis was so angry he threw the Christmas tree through the living room window.
*The bitterest irony came a few years later, when he was stationed at Walter Reed Hospital during World War II. There he was the first doctor to use the new miracle drug, penicillin. Recalling the experience, he said, "I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I saw those boys recover as quickly as mine had died."
*The younger doctor said that he doubted he could have survived such an experience. And Ralph replied, “I wouldn't have myself if it hadn't been for my wife. She's the one who kept us going and refused to quit. She said we were meant to have a family and we would have one. We raised three more children, our second family. I couldn't have made it without her determination.” (3)
*That woman was a treasure to her husband. And I can say for sure that my wife has been a treasure to me. I am a thousand times better than I could have been without her. Treat her like a treasure, men, because she is a treasure from God!
*Give your heart to your wife.
3. And Children: Give honor to your parents.
*God’s Word tells you to do this in Eph 6:1-3.
1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2. Honor your father and mother,' which is the first commandment with promise:
3. that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.
*Children: Honor your father and mother. This is God’s commandment for you, and it comes with a great promise.
*Paul says that this is the first of God’s commands with a promise attached to it, but God has hundreds of promises in His Word for us. In fact, someone counted 1,260 promises in the Word of God. And we can always count on His promises, because God always keeps His Word.
*Foreign missionaries face difficulties far greater than most of us have ever known. In the 1800s, Hudson Taylor was a missionary to China. And during one very hard time, Hudson Taylor wrote these words of faith to his wife, “We have 25 cents, and all the promises of God!” (4)
*Hudson Taylor had great faith in the promises of God. And so should we. Children: Honor your father and mother. God promises that He will bless you for that. Life will be better for your parents and for you.
*But how can you honor your father and mother? In vs. 1 Paul says to “obey your parents in the Lord.” Obey your parents. It’s the word picture of someone who hears a knock on the door. Then gets up to do whatever is necessary. One of the best ways to honor your parents is to obey them.
*We have to do what is right. But children, we can’t do this all by ourselves. We have to have help, because we are all born with selfish, sinful hearts.
*Alexander Sanders reminds us in a story about his daughter Zoe when she was three. Sanders came home from work one day to find Zoe upset because her pet turtle had died. She was crying as if her heart would break.
*Zoe’s mother had been dealing with the situation all day and said it was Dad’s turn to try and make things better. Although he was a successful lawyer and judge, the task of explaining life and death to a 3-year-old seemed too hard.
*First, he told Zoe that they could go to the pet store and buy another turtle. That didn’t help. Desperate to quiet his little girl’s tears, he said, "I tell you what, we’ll have a funeral for the turtle." Zoe didn’t know what a funeral was.
*Scrambling to come up with an explanation, as well as get her mind off the turtle, dad said: "A funeral is like a birthday party. We’ll have ice cream and cake and lemonade and balloons, and all the children in the neighborhood will come over to our house to play. All because the turtle died."
*Well that did the trick. Instantly, Zoe was her happy, smiling self. So, with visions of cake and ice cream in their heads the two looked down on the dead turtle lying at their feet. As they did, the turtle began to move, and a few seconds later, he was crawling away as lively as ever.
*Dad was shocked, but Zoe was still had her mind on the big party. She looked up at her father with her big beautiful eyes and said quietly, "Daddy, LET’S KILL IT." (5)
*Children: We are all sinners. We can’t keep God’s commandments on our own. But God loves us so much that He sent His Son Jesus into the world to die on the cross for our sins. Three days later Jesus rose from the dead. And if we will trust in Jesus as Savior and Lord, He will forgive all of our sins, and help us to keep His commandments.
*Jesus will help you to obey your parents in the Lord. And this is right. So Children: Give honor to your parents.
4. And Parents: Give hope to your children.
*As Paul said in Eph 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”
1-Part of their hope comes through our lifestyle.
-Dads, there is a picture of our lifestyle here in the first part of that verse: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath.” Listen to The Message on this verse: “Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them.”
*Why does he tell us not to provoke our children to wrath? -- Because many of us have a tendency to provoke our children to wrath. We tend to be impatient, quick-tempered and hard on our children, always a criticism, -- never a compliment.
*But another way we can provoke our children is through the bad habit of breaking our commitments. If you say you are going to do something, do it. Keep your commitments to your kids every way you can. These things are just part of a Godly lifestyle.
2-But our children’s hope also comes through their learning, so in vs. 4 Paul also said to “bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” The training here means training their morals as well as their minds. And the admonition means that we must give them worthy warnings.
*We would never give our children poison to drink, but our society is filled with moral and spiritual poison. And one of our most important jobs is to warn our children against that poison.
*Now you can’t raise your children in a bubble. They are going to get exposed to the garbage. But you can make sure that they understand a Godly view of the world. Bring your children up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Let them see Jesus in you.
*Bill Tanner is a preacher. But when he was a little boy about 5 or 6, he lived on a farm. This was back in the day when you only went to town once a week, if that much. One day, Bill’s dad said, “I believe I’ll go into town Saturday. Bill, you want to go?” -- “Yeah!” -- “Well, do your chores and you can go.”
*Friday night came and at supper dad asked, “Bill, get your chores done?” Bill just started crying. And his daddy said, “Bill, leave the table. If you are going to cry, just leave the table.”
*Bill went to his room and crawled under the bed crying. Then, his daddy came into his room and said, “Bill, get out from under that bed.” (Bill said he looked out first to see if dad’s belt was dangling down.)
*“Bill, get out and come with me.” So, his dad took him to the strawberry beds he was supposed to clean. And all of the beds were clean. Then, dad took him to the rabbit cages he was supposed to clean. And the cages were clean. Next they went to the garage. Bill was supposed to sweep it and put up all tools. He turned on light, looked inside, and every tool was in place.
*Bill asked: “Dad, you did all this for me?” -- And he did do all of that for his son. Bill Tanner saw a picture of God’s grace in his dad. Bill saw a picture of God’s grace he will remember as long as he lives. (6)
*Find ways to let your children see Jesus in you. Find ways to let other people see Jesus in you. We can’t do that on our own, but God will surely help us.
*Put your trust in Jesus Christ, and ask Him to help you be the best you can be, in your family and wherever you go in life.
1. Adapted from “God's Design for the Highly Healthy Teen” by Walt Larimore - (Men of Integrity, May/June 2006, p.6/11) (Found in “IN OTHER WORDS” - June 2008 #2 - produced by Dr. Raymond McHenry - 6130 Barrington ~ Beaumont, Texas 77706 (800) 553-4697 - www.iows.net)
2. SermonCentral.com illustration contributed by Russell Brownworth
3. J Ellsworth Kalas, If Experience Is Such A Good Teacher Why Do I Keep Repeating The Course? - Dimensions, 1994, p. 50-51 (Found in 08/11/02 email from Sermonillustrations.com)
4. Wycliffe Handbook of Preaching & Preachers, W. Wiersbe, p. 242 - SermonCentral illustration contributed by Lou Nicholes
5. SermonCentral illustration contributed by Mary Lewis
6. Original source unknown
