HoHum:
This particular passage of scripture has been the center of great controversy. There are many people who, with an aching heart, looking at their children who are rebelling from the things of the Lord, and their hearts filled with wonderment as to how the child could turn so far from God.
But what did we train the child to be? What was our primary purpose for the child? What was the goal for our children? What did we want for them above everything else? We say, "Well, I wanted them to be successful. I wanted them to be happy. I wanted them to have a successful career. I wanted them to have a good education." While these are good goals, not Christian.
WBTU:
Proverbs 22:6 makes it clear that our adult lives are largely determined by the way we were raised. As fathers and mothers we determine the direction and destiny of our children.
Thesis: Let’s talk about the age, the art, and the aim of parenting our children.
For instances:
The age for parenting our children (Proverbs 22:6)
Childhood is the proper period for education and schooling. Within certain limits, it is possible to determine the direction of a tree or a man, if we touch them at their source when they are tiny and tender. If a person is to be trained, then he must be trained while he is a child.
The Baxter boys liked to play in the woods near their home. They like the woods because they always found something they had never seen before. That’s the way it was when they discoverd the tree with the knot tied in it. The knot was about halfway up the tree. How could a tree grow that way? The trunk was at least four inches in diameter; surely, no one could have tied a knot in a tree that big. When dad came home from work, Paul and John showed him the tree. “It’s a knot all right. But it must have been tied a long, long time ago. It was probably tied when the tree was a sapling. Maybe some time back, other boys, just like you, may have played in these woods. When one of them felt the young sapling, he discovered it could be bent. Then, twisting it under and around itself, he got a knot tied in it.” Mr. Baxter examined the tree again. Then he turned back to the boys. “Do you think you could untie that knot?” “You kidding, dad? It’s grown together that way now. No one could ever untie that knot.” “It’s that way with young fellas like you, too.” The boys’ father answered. “There’s an old adage that says, ‘As a twig is bent, so the tree grows.’” “The way you start in life, the habits you develop when you’re young, determine the kind of person you’re likely to be when you grow up. Knots tied in kids’ lives are just as hard to untie as the knot in this tree.”
Childhood is:
The age of greatest impressions (Ecclesiastes 12:1)
Childhood through to youth is the time of deepest impressions. It has been well said, “Earliest impressions are the longest impressions.”
The age of greatest innocence (Ecclesiastes 12:1)
Early childhood is the best time to teach the mind that has not been poisoned, to gain the ear that has not been deafened, to win the heart that has not been taken captive by Satan.
The age of greatest interest (Ecclesiastes 12:1)
If a man is to be interested, speak to him when young. It is hard to teach an old dog new tricks.
The art of parenting our children (Proverbs 22:6)
Training includes teaching, but teaching does not necessarily include training. Training includes and involves example, instruction and discipline. The Bible insists that all such training must have a Christian basis.
In the home (Ephesians 6:4)
Negatively, parents are not to provoke their children to wrath. They are not to excite evil passions and inclinations of their children by a bad example.
Positively, parents are to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; they are to develop all the powers of the child by discipline and instruction.
“Give me a fish and I’ll eat for a day. Teach me to fish and I’ll eat for a lifetime.” We can apply this proverb to the fact that our children need to be taught reasoning skills. Dr. Kevin Leman says, “Take time for training. The Christian home needs to be a place for kids can learn to fail.”
Also, we need to give loving affirmation. One preacher said that when his sons began mowing the grass, he would always say, “You missed over there.” AFter a few times, his wife pulled him aside and said, “When are you going to learn, honey, that they are mowing most of the yard. You could just go over and mow the little spots and let it go without being so critical.” So from that point on while they were mowing he said, “What a great job! Terrific!” It went much better.
That’s positive affirmation, but we are often slow to give it. Children need commendation and affirmation just like everybody else and perhaps more.
In the church (Mark 10:13-15)
Using Jesus’ ministry as the example, the church is to bring little children to Him by example, instruction and discipline.
The one person who lived out God’s will perfectly- Jesus Christ- had no children. But he had many disciples. He taught them while they walked from town to town, while they ate, when they camped out for the night. They learned to be like him by sharing in the simple events of daily life. They repeatedly asked, “Why?” as they observed what he did and said. Sounds a lot like children, doesn’t it?
In the world (Matthew 18:6-7)
Unfortunately, some of the things that influence our children are not positive. One of the great challenges parents face today is the apparent lack of consequences that permeate our society. One aspect of our judicial system provides an example of this sad fact. In spite of the length of sentences for various crimes, the actual time served is often much less: (From 1996) Median time served for murder in US- 5.5 years. Median time served for rape- 3 years. Median time served for robbery- 2.25 years. Median time served for assault- 1.25 years.
Dr. Daniel Hahn says, “We are constantly taking our children into environments where they can see the natural results of people’s choices. We made a whole bunch of lunches and took the train into downtown LA and fed the homeless. The whole day we were able to talk about the results of broken families and alcohol abuse. We could give them the truth about it.”
The aim of parenting our children (Proverbs 22:6)
Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life.” Proverbs 16:25: There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.
The way of salvation (Matthew 18:14)
If there is the possibility of these little ones perishing, then surely there must be the possibility of their salvation.
Unless our highest aim is the salvation of our children then we train them in vain.
Need to realize that we can never lead our children where we have never been. Need Christ.
A man had been praying for God to show him his children’s weaknesses. God showed him his own weaknesses instead. The same goes for me. Often the things I notice as trouble spots for my children are things I struggle with myself.
The way of satisfaction (Proverbs 22:6)
Every child has a special plan and purpose. What is more satisfying to a child, parents and teachers, than to know that a young life is fulfilling the purpose for which God created him/her.
It is not satisfying to go against the grain. The year was 1809. Jedidiah, a preacher, shut his eyes tightly to keep his son from seeing them roll. Once again, 18 year old Samuel was pleading to be allowed to study art at the university. Jedidiah had tried to explain to Samuel that he would probably never make a living as a painter. How could that be his choice when he could do so much more with his life? He had so hoped that Samuel would become a minister, following in his footsteps. But then Samuel, with pleading eyes and a solemn tone explained, “I was made to be a painter.” That did it. Jedidiah realized then that there was a calling on Samuel’s life, even as their was a calling on his. Jedidiah’s son, Samuel, would go on to use the creative intellect that was constantly spilling over his canvases to develop the first successful electric telegraph in the US. He was Samuel F.B. Morse- artist first, inventor second- known by all as the genius behind the Morse Code.
How do we crack the code with our children:
Encourage interests.
Understand differences. The Lord often pairs an outgoing mother with a shy child (and visa versa). Encourage that child with putting people in their lives that will help them shine.
Get ready to be surprised. Children are constantly growing and changing. Don’t be too quick to put children into a box.
3. The way of service (Proverbs 22:6)
The aim of everyone should be to train a child to become of real service to God and man.
Whether it is the ministry of the church or any other calling, God has a service to perform through His children. It is important that we train them up to serve as God has purposed. Mark 10:43-45: Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
