You Can Listen To The Full Message Here:-
http://www.nec.org.au/index.php/listen-to-a-sermon-series/a-call-to-forgiveness/
Message
“Forgiveness Shapes our Character”.
There are times when powerful experiences shape who we become.
A few years ago I interviewed Ross Davie, he was a well known radio personality in the late 80’s and early 90’s in Brisbane. At that time he was really struggling with life and was an angry man. One afternoon during peak hour traffic he was stuck behind a bus. When he had a chance to go by he honked wildly at the driver, gave him a few rude gestures, and shouted a few choice swear words. A kilometre up the road his car broke down in the middle of one of the busiest intersections in Brisbane. A man came over to help him push the car – it was the bus driver. All the bus driver said was, “I think you are an angry man who needs to make peace with God”. That next Sunday Ross went to church as he sat down in the row he realized the person in front of him was the bus driver. That experience changed Ross’ life.
Powerful experiences shape who we become. Let me give you another example. This one is from the Scriptures.
Luke 17:1-10 (read)
Powerful experiences shape who we become.
The experience here is the forgiveness of Jesus.
Jesus is talking to His disciples.
They follow Him because they know He is the answer.
The serve Him because they are looking for purpose and meaning.
They trust Him because they have seen how He had set so many people free from the chains of sin.
They have first-hand experience of being in a relationship with Him. Because of that relationship they know … right to the very heart of their being they know … that they cannot remain unaffected.
This experience of being in relationship with Jesus is shaping them. In this case The forgiveness of Jesus is shaping them to have a character of forgiveness.
It isn’t a question of, “will I or won’t I be forgiving?” rather it is a question of “will I or won’t I have an obedient character?”
That is strong language.
But it is Biblical language.
It’s the language that Jesus uses here in Luke 17.
Jesus acknowledges that those who cause hurt need to take responsibility – and that their actions will have consequences. Woe to that person ... it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck. Jesus is not dismissing the hurt – or making it into something trivial.
But in that context Jesus also has a clear word for those who have been hurt. If they sin against you seven times a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, “I repent”, forgive them.
Forgiveness is a duty. Lack of forgiveness is an act of disobedience. That is the language which Jesus uses. That is because, when we are in a relationship with Jesus, it shapes our character. That is exactly the expectation Paul has when he writes to Philemon.
Philemon 4-7 (Read)
Our society is a society that encourages us to be unforgiving people. A few years ago a physician friend of mine was sued because a patient died under his care. The doctor was called in for an emergency to help this very difficult situation. The irony of it all was, that if he had just said no and stayed home instead – he would not have been sued. I know there are some exceptions - but what kind of world do we live in where those who are committed to saving lives, and helping people, and restoring dignity have to protect themselves against a society that increasingly doesn’t say thanks, but sues instead.
Well actually, the world has always been like this. Our world has often been a place where forgiveness is not easy to come by. The world of Philemon was like that.
Philemon is a wealthy man – the church in Colossae meets at his home. He is a man who has slaves. One of those slaves is Onesimus – Onesimus who has run away to Rome. Here Onesimus met Paul. Paul tells Onesimus about Jesus and Onesimus comes to faith. It is a great story of transformation.
But there is a practical problem. Ordinarily when a slave ran away, and then was found, the owner would have the letter “F” branded into the forehead of the slave. “F” which stands for fugitive. It’s a mark that lasts for life identifying you – not only as a slave – but a slave who is a failure.
That is what usually happens. But, because of the conversion of Onesimus, Philemon and Onesimus are now brothers in the Lord.
What are you going to do now Philemon?
What sort of character do you have?
What sort of character is required for a person to forgive?
A forgiving character is motivated by a priority for relationships
What motivates Philemon’s character?
I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints (vs.5).
That’s a priority for relationships isn’t it? If our motive changes, so does the outcome.
So if a relationship with God is not our priority then our behaviour will change.
Scripture says, if you hold anything against anyone forgive them.
Scriptures says, forgive, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Scripture says, forgive and you will be forgiven.
But if you don’t have a relationship with God, why should you do this? Why forgive when you can hold a grudge? Why forgive when revenge feels more satisfying? Who cares what God wants?
And who cares what others want? Why should I make my relationship with others a priority?
I need to look out for me, because if I don’t who will?
I deserve to be treated differently.
If I can get something in return well and good – if not what is the point?
When relationships with others are not my priority why should I put myself out? Why should I put myself in harm’s way?
A priority for relationships is what is being focussed on. If that priority changes so does the outcome. So here is the question:-
What do the outcomes in your life say about your priorities?
When Paul says in Colossians 3:17 Whatever we do, in word or deed, we do it all for the glory of Christ do you get a sense that this reflects your life? Are the outcomes happening in your life outcomes which reflect a growing relationship with God? Or are there different outcomes?
Paul says about Philemon I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus. Is that what people hear when they talk about you? Philemon has a reputation ... this man loves Jesus. This man makes Jesus number 1. This relationship shows.
How’s your relationship with Jesus?
Vibrant, or stale?
Growing, or receding?
Passionate, or life-less?
Whatever state it is in the outcomes are going to show. Because as soon as you modify your relationship with Jesus, it will modify your relationship with others.
Let me take a small example. You are driving on the freeway and accidentally cut someone off. Or maybe you are driving a little slower then what they want you to. What happens? Either they sit behind you honking their horn or pull alongside and make some obscene gestures. But do you know what is sad. It’s when that car comes past you and then you notice a fish sticker on the back window.
Forgiven people don’t act like that. And if you want to act like that, first take the sticker off your car – for you’re giving Christ a bad name – then have a look at your heart:- do you really understand what forgiveness is … what the forgiveness of Christ to you really means?
Priority for relationships is the issue here. Philemon had it. What about us?
A forgiving character is directed away from the individual.
There is a popular Australian Song – the chorus goes like this:-
What about me? It isn’t fair.
I’ve had enough now I want my share.
Can’t you see, I wanna live?
But you just take more than you give.
Do you think Philemon would sing that song while he was taking his shower in the morning? Not at all. Paul’s expectations of Philemon are very different.
I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ (verse 6)
Philemon is a wealthy man.
Good at business.
Good at making deals.
Able to make a buck.
It would be easy for him to become self-reliant. To make it seem that he is better than others. To protect his assets. Paul places a different expectation on him ... the expectation to get out and make a real difference. When Paul prays that he wants Philemon to have a “full understanding” he is basically saying, “turn your knowledge into experience”.
We’ve all sat down and read the books that showed some guy skiing down a snowy mountain. There’s the snow flying by. The beauty and wonder of it all. The knowledge that this brings a thrill and exhilaration. But there’s a lot of difference between looking at the picture in the book and coming down the mountain.
In the same way we can read the pages of the Bible and come to a definition of what forgiveness looks like. But we will never have a deep understanding until ... what? ... Until I forgive and experience it personally.
And that is really important, especially in the family of God. Because, even in the family of God, life goes wrong in the way we deal with each other.
Let’s face it. We do hurt each other. We misinterpret people. We second guess each other. We make the wrong assumptions about one another. We gossip about each other and presume we know the motives of one another.
I have heard stories of brothers and sisters in Christ who have hurt each other so much they never spoke to one another again. In other situations churches have split in half because of hurt.
We are a family when we come under the headship of Jesus, but that does not mean it is always happy families.
That’s the situation Philemon faces isn’t it. Onesimus has caused a lot of hurt both personal and financial. Onesimus is now a brother in Christ. What is it going to take to move forward? Philemon is going to have to turn away from himself ... and turn his knowledge of forgiveness into an experience of forgiveness.
The body of Christ is not about individualism … it’s not about me and my hurts, and disappointments, and frustrations, and pain. The body of Christ is about belonging. We belong together through thick and thin. And it is in this body that we grow.
Priority for relationships.
Looking away from the individual.
That’s the shape which a forgiving character takes.
That’s what is being expected.
Is it worth it? For the person who has to forgive ... is it worth it?
Well let’s think about the result.
A forgiving character revives the spirits of broken people.
Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints (verse 7)
Put yourself into the shoes of Onesimus for a moment.
You know you have done wrong.
You know you have caused pain.
You know legally Philemon could have you branded with the “F”.
You, Onesimus, are at the mercy of Philemon. You just want forgiveness.
The easiest thing Philemon can do at that moment is to crush the spirit of Onesimus.
To tear him down.
To make him feel worthless.
To bring more trouble.
To make a disturbance.
And then what? What will that do?
What will it do to the relationship between Paul and Philemon?
What will it do to the relationship between the church that meets in Philemon’s home and Philemon?
What impact will that have on the way the people in Colossae view the church?
Paul is looking for a different outcome.
Refresh the hearts of the saints.
It’s a military term used for an army that takes a march, stops and rests.
But it goes deeper than that … for Paul wants Philemon to refreshes people to their very core.
Philemon, if you forgive this guy it’s going to have a powerful impact. He committed an act which could have him branded for life. Society says you can – but if you just forgive it is going to send an even stronger message to the church about the priority of belonging.
Philemon it doesn’t matter what a man does to you, if you can take that person back and embrace that person in love, you have made a strong statement about your concern for fellowship.
If you don’t do that, rather than refreshment, there will just be more brokenness.
And that is the ultimate issue here. Do we want to be known as those who have a character for causing more brokenness? Or do we want to be known as having a character which revives?
The shape of our character will determine the outcome. What outcome do you want?
Prayer
