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Message
Genesis 38:1-30
Tamar - A Desperate Victim
Let me start by reading Matthew 1:1-3
This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah the son of David, the son of Abraham:
Abraham was the father of Isaac,
Isaac the father of Jacob,
Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,
Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar,
Isn’t that nice!! In a day and age when only the men get a mention in genealogies Matthew acknowledges this woman. For her to be mentioned she must have been someone very special. Well let’s find out by turning to Genesis 38:1-30 (Read)
That is not the kind of story you would ordinarily expect to be associated with people who end up in such a prestigious family as the Saviour of the world … is it. But here it is in all its raw honesty.
We start with a man called Judah.
Just a quick bit of history for you. About 2000 years before Jesus God revealed Himself to a man called Abraham – God did this because He wanted to have a special relationship with Abraham and Abraham’s descendants.
Abraham and his descendants are called Israelites.
The special relationship between God and the Israelites is called a covenant.
The family expands.
Abraham has a son called Isaac.
Isaac has a son called Jacob – whose name is later changed to Israel.
Jacob – or Israel – has 12 sons.
The names of the 12 sons are the same as the names of the 12 tribes of Israel.
That is how the nation of Israel started. And the fourth son in the line ... his name is Judah.
Judah is a rebel. How do we know?
If we go back just one chapter we read the story of Joseph. Joseph was the favourite son of Israel so Israel make a special richly coat for Joseph. As a result all the brothers were jealous and when they get a chance they sell Joseph to some slave traders. Guess whose idea it was to sell Joseph to the slave traders?
Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood?
Come, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.” His brothers agreed.
Genesis 37:26-27
At a time when families stuck together Judah is more than willing to sell-out his own brother and cause immense pain to his father.
But that is not all. Judah is also selling out on his religion.
At that time, Judah left his brothers and went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah. There Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her.
Genesis 38:1-2
It was against the religion of the Israelites to marry Canaanites. Canaanites had a pagan religion which distracted the Israelites. Judah’s spiritual life at this time is not in tune with the God of Israel.
But that is not all. Judah is also selling out on his moral convictions.
Why did Tamar dress as a prostitute? The plan make no sense … unless Judah was the sort of person who habitually used such services.
The fact that it was so easy for Tamar to predict the actions of her father-in-law even years later demonstrates what kind of person Judah was.
And when we look again at verse 16 and read that it is Judah who goes to Tamar and says Come now let me sleep with you.
Well Judah is no altar boy is he.
So that is Judah. He has sold out on his family, his religion and his morals.
Just this week I was talking to someone on the phone about their life.
They had gone against the wishes of the family to marry someone who was not a believer.
They had a belief in God but where at a point where they were not sure where they stood with God.
Their life had been punctuated by drugs and multiple partners.
As they were telling me this they asked a simple question, “Will you as a Pastor be willing to help?”
Behind that question was a real fear.
Can I be part of the family of God despite what I have done?
Judah sold out on his family, his religion and his morals. Yet
This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah
it includes
Perez and Zerah whose mother was Tamar.
It is the nature of people who are desperate that at some point in their life they will look for religious answers.
People in this room.
People we know.
People who are in our fields of influence.
All looking for answers. All asking the same question:-
Can I be part of what you have despite what I have done?
So that is Judah. And we needed to understand Judah so that we could understand Tamar.
You see, at first glance, it looks like Tamar is a cunning, morally suspect manipulator who will do whatever it takes to get her way. But that is not the case at all. Tamar is a victim who feels that she has run out of alternatives.
Tamar is also a Canaanite. Judah chooses her to marry Er. We don’t know much about Er except that his actions were so evil that God directly punished him with death. It must have been very soon after the marriage as Tamar is childless – so she is left as a young childless widow. It puts her in a very vulnerable position very much at the mercy of Judah’s family.
At the time – for the protection of people in such situations – there was a thing called the “Levirate Marriage”.
The OT describes how it works in Deuteronomy 25:5-10.
Many cultures of the day used it.
It some countries it is still practiced today.
A “Levirate Marriage” is what happens when the closest male relative marries the childless widow of his brother in order to provide an heir.
It was designed to protect the widow. But this is where Tamar becomes the victim.
The first stage of the victimisation is that Onan participates in the required act while doing everything he can to avoid getting Tamar pregnant. All the pleasure, none of the responsibility. The act is so evil in the sight of God that Onan is put to death by the Lord.
The second stage of the victimization is that Judah – perhaps fearing for the life of his youngest son – sends Tamar back to her parents instead of allowing Shelah to fulfil his responsibilities. By doing this, instead of keeping her in his household, Judah is basically washing his hands of the situation and getting on with his life. However Tamar cannot get on with her life as she is basically betrothed to Shelah. If she marries someone else she is committing adultery.
Years pass.
Tamar is stuck.
Committed to a relationship where she is unwanted.
Childless.
Desperate.
One day Tamar hears that Judah is going for a journey – so she hatches a very unorthodox plan.
She removes her widows clothes, dresses in a way that is provocative enough to make her look like a prostitute. And waits on the path ahead of Judah.
Judah sees her.
Judah does a deal with her.
Judah walks away with a few less personal items.
So Tamar has what she came for … along with a signet ring … a belt … a staff. They are the equivalent of a driver’s license, a passport and a credit card.
Three months pass. And the gossip is running wild.
Tamar is having a baby and the circumstances are very suspicious. Judah is utterly indignant. Judah can’t have his daughter-in-law, ex or not, embarrassing the family name.
The penalty for prostitution in that area is death.
Tamar comes before the judging panel this time having exchanged her widows clothing for maternity wear.
"Do you have anything to say before we make an example of you for all our womenfolk by burning you alive?" Judah asked.
"Well, I do want to say just one thing", said Tamar. ,"The father of my child is also the man who owns these items:- a signet ring (with a big "J" on it), this very distinctive staff, and this belt. Do you recognise them?
It is funny what happens when the shoe is put on the other foot. Put away the wood and fire no-one is dying today.
That is Tamar. A victim of a situation which required so very unorthodox means to get out of.
Prostitution.
Deception.
Incest.
Bribery.
Always to be known as the woman who tricked her father-in-law into fathering a set of illegitimate twins.
They say that desperate times require desperate measures – when you are a victim desperation seems like the only answer.
A young girl is pregnant and abandoned. She decides to have an abortion.
A father is not making enough money at work. He decides to steal from the company.
A middle aged mother is neglected by her husband. The affair was an attractive option.
A young man struggles with his identity and finds it hard to relate to females. He decides it is much easier to be attracted to other men.
In my years as a Pastor I hear, and continue to hear, stories of action – ungodly actions – taken out of desperation.
Can any of us be a part of the family of God despite what has happened?
Tamar. Prostitution. Deception. Incest. Bribery. Yet
This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah
it includes
Judah the father of Perez and Zerah
At some point in their life people will look for religious answers.
People in this room.
People we know.
People who are in our fields of influence.
All looking for answers. All asking the same question:-
Can any of us be a part of the family of God despite what has happened?
The answer … the amazing answer … to the question is YES.
It was yes for Judah even though he sold out on his family, his religion and his morals.
It was yes for Tamar despite the acts of desperation.
It is yes for us.
You don’t have to be someone special to end up in the family line of Jesus.
This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah the son of David, the son of Abraham:
Abraham was the father of Isaac,
Isaac the father of Jacob,
Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers,
Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar,
If this was the family history of a Pharaoh, or of Caesar, such a situation between Judah and Tamar would never have been mentioned. Even today powerful, influential and important people will go to great lengths to hide the black sheep on the family.
You have to keep up the right image.
You don’t want to be connected with such scandals.
You avoid giving ammunition to those who might question you.
That is how it often works. But not in the family of Jesus.
Jesus doesn’t care about His image or the image of those who become His family members.
Jesus doesn’t cover-up the realities nor does He wish they would go away.
Jesus doesn’t pretend and He doesn’t want pretenders.
“It is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick. I have come so that they may have life,” says Jesus.
Not only that. I very much doubt that Tamar herself would see herself as a candidate for being in the family line of the Saviour.
She knows that she is an outsider … a Canaanite not an Israelite.
Even in Canaanite society prostitution and incest was frowned upon.
The illegitimacy of her twins will be a social taboo that she would always carry.
She would not argue if someone told her that such actions had put her outside the circle.
That is how it often works. But not in the family of Jesus.
Jesus came for the outsiders and those who are considered unwanted.
Jesus gave his life for all sorts of sins that are frowned upon.
He was even willing to be known as an illegitimate child.
All because He wants us to know that no matter what issues we carry He is holding out His hand and saying, “Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.”
Can any of us be a part of the family of God despite what has happened?
You might be like Judah – deliberate in the rebellion.
You might be like Tamar – making decisions out of desperation.
You might know people like that. The Judahs and the Tamars.
But these are the names … along with many others … that appear in the lineage of the family of God.
Prayer
