OPEN: When I was taking my kids home from King’s Island (an amusement park in southern Ohio) yesterday we were listening to a Country Music station that was playing a popular song by a group named “Ricochet”.
The song told the story of a man who was sitting in church when he noticed a young woman he’d grown up with – and she was looking at HIM. In the chorus he told of all her qualities that made her appealing to him:
“She’s got her daddy’s money, her momma’s good looks.
More laughs than a stack of comic books.
A wild imagination, a college education.
Add it all up it’s a deadly combination.
She’s a good bass fisher. A dynomite kisser.
Country as a turnip green.
She’s got her daddy’s money. Her momma’s good looks, and look who’s looking at me!”
It’s a cute song.
But what caught my attention was that the singer was describing a woman most people would consider successful in this world. She had all the advantages any person could want: money, looks, education… and obvious good taste.
There are people in this world who look at this kind of person and they get a little jealous. They think to themselves: “If only I could have THEIR advantages. If only I had their family, their money, their education – I could be accomplish great things with my life.”
Several years ago, there was a famous study done by Victor and Mildred Goertzel, entitled “Cradles of Eminence” where they examined the backgrounds of 300 highly successful people.
People like:
· Winston Churchill,
· Franklin D. Roosevelt
· Helen Keller
· Albert Schweitzer
· Clara Barton
· Gandhi
· Einstein,
· and Freud.
Among the things they studied were how these prominent individuals grew up. And what they found was surprising:
* They discovered that 3/4s of the children endured poverty, or broken homes, or were raised by parents who rejected them, were over possessive, or dominating.
* Nearly all the writers - 74 out of 85 writers of fiction or drama and 16 of the 20 poets - came from homes where they experienced “tense psychological drama”. In other words, their parents didn’t get along and screamed and abused each other.
* And over ¼ of these great people suffered from physical handicaps such as blindness, deafness, or crippled limbs.
It makes one wonder if the kind of home life these men and women endured as children influenced the type of people they became.
In our text this morning, we read about another man, named Joseph, who overcame similar problems in his life. Joseph came from a highly dysfunctional family. Today, we might it call it a “blended” family (the 12 brothers were born of 4 different mothers), and the brothers always seemed to be fighting. About the only thing that united his brothers was their hatred of him.
And because his brothers hated him, Joseph ended up thrown into a pit, sold into slavery, and ultimately accused of a crime he didn’t commit – he was thrown into prison.
Joseph’s brothers had actually planned to kill him, but their greed overcame their hatred long enough for them say:
“What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? Come, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all (pause) he is our brother, our own flesh and blood." Genesis 37:26-27
Then they soaked Joseph’s cherished coat in goat’s blood and brought it back to their father and watched callously as their father cried out in anguish, tore his garments and mourned for days.
With brothers like that, Joseph didn’t need enemies.
So – in Genesis 39 - we find Joseph in Egypt.
Now Egypt had already become a great nation before Joseph had been born.
They’d already built their famous pyramids, the sphinx, and the temple at Luxor.
In those days – as now – Egypt was a tourist paradise
But (of course) Joseph wasn’t there as a tourist.
He was there as a slave.
He had been ripped from his home and his friends
Dragged across the desert to a land that he’d never known
And surrounded by a strange people who spoke in a language he couldn’t understand.
Even if he could have gotten away from his slave owner, he probably couldn’t have found his way home!
At 17, he’d lost everything that he’d loved and considered important.
And now he lives at the whim of his master.
He’s the lowest form of life in the nation of Egypt.
He has nothing… he owns nothing… he IS nothing.
Just like all the other slaves of that day he has no rights, no status, no value.
BUT, Joseph did have one thing that other slaves in Egypt didn’t.
He had a God who cared for him.
Now ordinarily, most folks who’d go through problems like Joseph’s would doubt God was there… or that He even cared. And so – in case YOU had any doubts about that in Joseph’s life, God wanted to reassure you, So He put in the story one phrase that shows up again and again and again.
You know what that phrase was?
“The LORD was with Joseph”
You see it in vss. 2, 3, 5, 21, and 23.
God was with Joseph
And because God was with Joseph, Joseph was successful in everything he did.
And that success bled over to others:
Genesis 39:5 says “From the time (Potiphar) put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the LORD blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the LORD was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field.”
Later, when he was thrown into Prison… God does it again!
“The LORD was with (Joseph); he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden. So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. The warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph’s care, because the LORD was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did.” Genesis 39:21-23
Now granted – Joseph was STILL a slave. And later he was JUST a prisoner.
But even in those low and despised positions, Joseph became someone that others depended upon. God being with him made Joseph’s life have value and purpose.
Joseph’s life is a case study in the faithfulness of God’s promises, because God has made us the same promise: “I will never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5).
One of my favorite passages in the Old Testament says this: “…the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him...” 2 Chronicles 16:9.
Are you “fully committed” to God? Then God’s looking for someone like you! He wants to strengthen you and make you successful in this world.
Psalm 34:15 assures us that: “The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry”
And everyone’s favorite, Romans 8:28 declares: “…we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
It doesn’t matter what happens in your life. Things that are good, or things that aren’t. If you’re a Christian and you love God, God will make all things work together for good for you. The Lord will be with YOU. Just like with Joseph – whether he was a slave or a prisoner… God was looking out for him.
But why allow Joseph to REMAIN a slave/prisoner?
Why not simply remove him from those terrible situations and place him in a country home where he could sip lemonade and cast his line in the river all day?
(pause)
One person I read said this: “There’s something suspect about a faith that has never been tested.
An army going through basic training is not ready for battle. Not until soldiers have faced the battle, and been under fire do they consider themselves proven, hardened, worthy.
A ship cannot prove that it has been sturdily built as long as it stays in dry dock. Its hull must get wet; it must face a storm to demonstrate genuine seaworthiness. (Joel C. Oregory, Growing Pains of the Soul)
My point is this: Joseph was meant for great things.
God had given Joseph 2 dreams that promised him his life would mean something.
But when the dreams were given – Joseph was only 17 years old.
He wasn’t old enough to have the character or the experience necessary to accomplish the things God wanted him to do.
The tools God used to shape Joseph’s character may seem harsh to us but God knows the objective He wishes to obtain, abd He knows the best tool to get that done in our lives.
ILLUS: A.W. Tozer once talked about God’s tools
“The HAMMER is a useful tool. But the nail, if it had feeling and intelligence, could present another side of the story. For the nail knows the hammer only as an opponent a brutal, merciless enemy who lives to pound it into submission, to beat it down out of sight and clinch it into place.
That is the nail’s view of the hammer, and it is accurate except for one thing:
The nail forgets that both it and the hammer are servants of the same workman. Let the nail but remember that the hammer is held by the workman and all resentment toward it will disappear.
The carpenter decides whose head shall be beaten next and what hammer shall be used in the beating.
That is his sovereign right. When the nail has surrendered to the will of the workman and has gotten a little glimpse of his benign plans for its future, it will yield to the hammer without complaint.
The FILE is more painful still, for its business is to bite into the soft metal scraping and eating away the edges till it has shaped the metal to its will.
Yet the file has, in truth, no real will in the matter, but serves another master as the metal also does.
It is the master and not the file that decides how much shall be eaten away. What shape the metal shall take and how long the painful filing shall continue.
Let the metal accept the will of the master and it will not try to dictate when or how it shall be filed.
As for the FURNACE, it is the worst of all. Ruthless and savage, it leaps at every combustible thing that enters it and never relaxes its fury till it has reduced it all to shapeless ashes. All that refuses to burn is melted to a mass of helpless matter, without will or purpose of its own. When everything is melted that will melt and all is burned that will burn then and not till then the furnace calms down and rests from its destructive fury.” (A.W. Tozer “The Root of the Righteous”)
All that matters is to understand that it is the master who shapes and bends us to His will. And ONLY when we have been shaped and molded can God use us as He sees best.
But there’s a harshness that takes place that God uses to shape us.
ILLUS: One man told of watching an experienced gardener transplant some flowers. He watched in amazement as the man took the flowers out of their pots and shook them roughly. HE thought this man was surely destroying the flowers.
When he asked the gardener why he handled the flowers that way, he explained:
“The flowers that came here have roots that are cramped in those little pots. What I do is loosen the soil and give the roots a chance to breathe and stretch.”
Essentially, that’s what God did with Joseph.
He was shaking Joseph down to his very roots, because he was going to replant him in a place where he could be used by God.
You see, the task God wanted Joseph to accomplish was critical to Israel’s future. God intended to have Israel taken down into the land of Egypt where they could be protected form the ravages of other nations for a time (until they, of course, became abused by Egypt in slavery). God knew Israel’s future could only be accomplished in the land of Egypt. Joseph became the pioneer of God’s will, bringing this fledgling nation down to the protective power of Egypt. But in order for Joseph to accomplish this great task, God was going to be put through the trials necessary to make him effective as God’s tool.
God uses the harshness that we often go through to shape us.
Jesus said “"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33.
God might not always bring those harsh circumstances into our lives, but no matter what difficulties we encounter, God can use it for His glory.
ILLUS: Back in 90’s, researchers who examined the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. When you think of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, do you think of it as being a positive or a negative influence in a person’s life? Negative, obviously. But these researchers discovered that this wasn’t always so. In fact, they found that trauma often had positive influences on people’s lives. It was significant enough in their study, that they branded this new phenomena PTG – or Post Traumatic Growth.
They found the following characteristics were often found in PTG. Amongst them were these:
(1) Acceptance.
Those who suffered this type of trauma tended to live in denial or avoidance. They often wallowed in self-pity. But, in those who experienced PTG - that changed. Instead of denial or avoidance, they chose to confront their past trauma or current tormentor. They ACCEPTED their own limitations and your misfortunes. And more importantly, they accepted that suffering was necessary for them to gain valuable knowledge and grow character.
(2) Affirmation.
Their suffering caused them to see the world as dark and their future bleak. Based on their painful experience, they had concluded that most people were selfish, and that there was no justice to be had.
Yet, while hitting rock bottom and in the throes of struggling, they rejected that thinking and AFFIRMED that there is goodness in life, and there is meaning and purpose in suffering.
(3) Determination:
They had felt controlled by their circumstances, but when they experienced PTG they became DETERMINED to control whether than be controlled. They decided to make progress in their lives each day until they come out of their problem. And as they began to do this they realized "If I can survive this, I can survive anything. I know that the forces of evil are still there, and the obstacles are still there. The difficulties are formidable but not insurmountable. Yes, I CAN overcome with God’s help and support from others."
(4) Faith:
In the midst of their difficulties they wondered if God even cared. But as the fog lifted from their hearts they come to the realization that God was with them, crying with them and sharing their pain throughout their struggles.
God didn’t shield them from suffering. Instead He gave them the grace to endure and learn.
(5) Unselfishness.
Initially, they were preoccupied with their own needs. They felt sorry for only themselves. But as they grew out of their depression, their eyes became opened to realize others suffered more than they had. They began to seek out opportunities to help others. They discovered that in helping others, they found healing for themselves. (Paul T. P. Wong, PhD. C.Psych. Trinity Western University Langley, BC, Canada)
These are some of the things that God can teach us in our own difficulties.
And when we allow Him to work in our lives we can change into better servants than we ever were before.
CLOSE: A woman’s Bible study was reading thru the book of Malachi, when they read this: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." (3:3). This verse puzzled them and they wondered how this statement applied to the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out more about the process of refining silver, & to get back to the group at their next Bible study.
She called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him while he worked.
She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest, beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.
As she watched the silversmith work, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire, where the flames were the hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the entire time the silver was being refined. The man answered – yes, not only did he have to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on it the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith,
"But how do you know when the silver is fully refined?"
He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that’s easy - when I see my image in it."
Suffering isn’t pleasant.
Sometimes it’s from God… and sometimes it’s from our bad decisions or from the influence of those around us. But no matter where the suffering comes from, God is never far from us. He never allows us to remain in the fire longer than we can stand. And when we have gone through the fire, and the impurities have been burned away, then others around us can see the reflection of our God in our lives.
But first you need to make a decision to be His child. (Invitation)
(The full illustration on Post Traumatic Growth is shown here:)
POST TRAMATIC GROWTH Paul T. P. Wong, PhD. C.Psych. Trinity Western University Langley, BC, Canada
Interesting, a percentage of people show positive changes as a result of trauma. Some of these individuals initially may show stress-related symptoms, but eventually recover and demonstrate personal growth. The recovery process may be slow as in the case of Trisha Meili.
Tedeschi and Calhoun (1995) were among the first to research and document PTG. Prior research has shown the following positive changes:
· Increased perception of competence and self-reliance
· Enhanced acceptance of one’s vulnerability and negative emotional experiences
· Improved relationships with significant others
· Increased compassion and empathy for others
· Greater efforts directed at improving relationships
· Increased appreciation of own existence
· Greater appreciation for life
· Positive changes in one’s priorities
· Stronger religious/spiritual beliefs
· Greater personal intimacy with God
· Greater sense of control and security through belief in God
· Greater meaning about life and suffering through religion
What are the characteristics of individuals who show psychological growth rather than psychiatric impairment? What are the psychological correlates? What factors contribute to PTG? These are some of the research questions.
Pathways to post-traumatic growth. Even in the best of times, achieving personal growth is not an easy task -- it is like paddling a canoe upstream or climbing a steep, rocky mountain. However, after trauma the journey of growth becomes even tougher - it is more like paddling a leaky canoe upstream or climbing the mountain with broken legs.
The pathways to PTG begin with brokenness and deficits. Before growth can take place, one needs to CHOOSE to embark on the long journey of recovery - to restore shattered assumptions, regain confidence and find healing at physical, emotional, and spiritual levels.
The following pathways to PTG are based on both the research and clinical literature.
(1) Acceptance
You no longer live in denial or avoidance. And you no longer wallow in self-pity. You choose to confront your past trauma or current tormentor. You accept your own limitations and your misfortunes. More importantly, you accept that suffering is necessary for you to gain valuable knowledge and grow character. With acceptance, come a new sense of freedom and a more realistic assessment of your situation.
(2) Affirmation
You have accepted the fact your life circumstances could not have been worse. The world seems to be so dark and the future so bleak. Based on your painful experience, you have concluded that most people are selfish, and there is no justice. You have been wondering: What is the point? What is the use of fighting a losing battle? What is the meaning and purpose of suffering?
Yet, while hitting rock bottom and in the throes of struggling, your eyes are opened to new possibilities. Yes, there is goodness in life, and there is meaning and purpose in suffering. You choose to take a positive stance, because this is the only way out of the dark pit; the alternative to affirmation is self-destruction and death. You affirm meaning, because there is no future without believing that there is something worth living for.
By affirming life, you begin to appreciate all the little things you used to take for granted. You learn to delight in the natural beauty around you and the simple pleasures of life. Yes, it is exciting to be alive. It is worth the fighting for.
(3) Determination
Once you have chosen to embark on the road of recovery, you know that it will require perseverance and determination to make progress. Once you have started your quest for meaning and authenticity, you know that there will be obstacles, opposition, and even dangers. Yes, you are prepared to persist with courage and tenacity. Even if you may never arrive at the Promised Land, to be able to strive towards a worthy goal is sufficient to fill your heart with deep satisfaction.
(4) Confidence
You have been feeling helpless and powerless. You have been saying, "I can’t go on anymore. I am finished. There is nothing left in me. Life has run over me like a 5-ton truck and left me dying."
But with affirmation and determination, your confidence gradually returns. With every small victory, your confidence grows. Now you say to yourself: "If I can survive this, I can survive anything. I know that the forces of evil are still there, and the obstacles are still there. The difficulties are formidable but not insurmountable. Yes, I CAN overcome with God’s help and support from others."
Your confidence is no longer solely based on your own ability. Paradoxically, you have regained a sense of confidence and control through accepting your vulnerability and surrendering to someone much stronger than yourself.
(5) Religious faith
You have been wondering whether God listens to your prayers and whether He really cares. Like the Job of the Old Testament, you have complained bitterly about God’s indifference to your misfortunes. But now, the fog has lifted and you come to the realization that God is with you, crying with you and sharing your pain throughout your struggles. He does not shield you from suffering, but gives you the grace to endure and learn. You begin to hear God’s reassuring whisper and experience his tender embrace when you are feeling all alone and trembling with fear. Now you can rebuild your life on the solid rock of faith.
(6) Relationships
You used to be preoccupied with your own needs. You used to feel sorry for yourself. But now, your eyes are open to all those who suffer more than you do. You begin to seek out opportunities to help others. You discover that in helping other, you find healing for yourself.
Your priorities have changed. Now, your family and friends become more important than your personal achievements. Their support and care have nurtured you back to health. Now, you learn to appreciate and enjoy them in a way unknown to you before the traumatic event. You have grown in relationships as a result of the trauma.
(7) Optimism
At long last, you can hope again. Born of adversity and baptized by trauma, your hope will be able to endure anything that may come your way. You can now talk about your future with excitement, even though you know that danger may be lurking just around the corner. Your tragic sense of life is now married to a positive outlook in life, resulting in a mature tragic optimism.
Conclusion
I have provided a roadmap, which extends beyond the traditional psychological territory of self-efficacy and internal locus of control. I have shown pathways to growth that go beyond traditional modalities of treating PTSD.
Like tragic optimism, PTG is yet another example of the kind of mature positive psychology that resonates with all individuals who are going through suffering, pain and despair.
