OPEN: Ravi Zacharias told of speaking one time at Ohio State University. He said “As I was being driven to the lecture, we passed the new Wexner Art Center. The driver said, “This is a new art building for the university. It is a fascinating building designed in the post-modernist view of reality.”
The building had no pattern.
Staircases went nowhere.
Pillars supported nothing.
The architect designed the building to reflect how he saw life. It went nowhere and it was mindless and senseless.
Zacharias said “I turned to the man describing it and asked, ‘Did they do the same thing with the foundation?”
He laughed and said: “Oh… you can’t do THAT with a foundation.”
Any contractor will tell you that a building is only as good as its foundation.
If the foundation is faulty, the building is doomed.
But if the foundation is solid, the building will stand a long time.
APPLY: (pause)
Jesus tells us that everyone builds on some kind of foundation, but not every foundation is a good one. For example, He tells the parable of 2 men who built on different foundations:
• A wise man built upon a foundation of rock and his house stood in the storm
• But the foolish man built his house on a foundation of sand and the rain washed it away
In the story of Iron Man (on which we’re building this series), we meet a man named Tony Stark who he finds that he’s been building on the wrong foundation, and wants to make a change.
(Clip of Stark deciding to change the company’s focus. Begins during the Press conference where he says “I never got to say goodbye to my father” and ends with his final words to the press before being hustled out)
Stark Industries had been built by the hero’s father. His Dad had laid the foundation for the company and set the course of what they manufactured. It was that foundation that allowed Tony Stark to be the wealthy man and it was that foundation that allowed him to create the hero he became.
The Bible tells us that we all have a foundation laid for us by our fathers. And God apparently expects us to build properly on that foundation.
Proverbs 23:24-25 tells us “The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him”
Proverbs 10:1 says “A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.”
Ephesians 6:2-3 declares "Honor your father and mother"— which is the first commandment with a promise—"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
God expects us honor our fathers (and our mothers).
Now, my dad was real easy to honor. He was a strong, upstanding man who always tried to do what was right and be a man of God in every one of his actions. I admired him and wanted to grow up to be like him.
But I didn’t always honor him like I should have.
I didn’t always show him the respect and thanks he deserved.
At one point I so frustrated him that he said
“If you weren’t my son, I’d have nothing to do with you.”
So, even though I knew the command to honor my father, I didn’t always do it well.
The question before us this morning is – how can I honor my father properly (even if they are no longer alive)? In our text this morning, I found three ways that can be done:
1. One way is to work at finding a way to fulfill their dreams.
In I Kings 5 we find that Solomon has built on the foundation of HIS father. We read that Solomon told Hiram (the king of Tyre) that he intended to build on the foundation that HIS father had laid.
His father was David, and David had dreamed of building a beautiful Temple for God but had been unable to do so because he was always at war with other nations.
But now, Solomon has the ability and resources to fulfill his father’s dreams and he is going to build a Temple to glorify God.
And BECAUSE Solomon honored his father in this way God honored Solomon by allowing him to build a Temple that lasted for centuries. The Temple he built was destroyed and rebuilt a couple of times but neither of the rebuilt Temples equaled the physical beauty and majesty of first. ALL because Solomon honored his father by his decision.
2. Another way we can honor our dads by not to bring up/weaknesses when we talk about them.
Solomon’s father (David)
• Was a great man.
• David was a hero.
• A man after God’s own heart.
• The author of most of the book of Psalms.
But if Solomon had wanted to, he could have given us a laundry list of all the things his father had done wrong in his life.
• David committed adultery with Bathsheba (who later became the mother of Solomon)
• He arranged for a man to be killed on the battle front so he could have Bathsheba
• And David was often a miserable failure as a parent (with the exception of Solomon, almost all of his sons were disappointments).
But Solomon NEVER recited his father’s failings.
In fact, it’s in his book of Prov. that we find his attitude towards how you should treat your dad. He wrote: “If a man curses his father or mother, his lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.” Proverbs 20:20
So Solomon taught us
NOT to recite our dad’s failings.
NOT to air their dirty laundry.
NOT to replay every wrong thing they’ve done or said.
3. The 3rd way to honor our Fathers is by focusing on things that they did right.
When Solomon spoke to King Hiram, he explained that the reason he wanted to build the Temple was because that was his father’s dream. David did a lot of things that were good, but there was one thing that David did that caught Solomon’s attention. There was one thing that was good and righteous and worth building on and that one thing was to build a temple for God. This was (in Solomon’s mind) one of the greatest things his father could ever have accomplished.
Now God apparently takes this matter of honoring our fathers (mothers) very seriously. It’s such an important concept that Paul tells us that the command to honor our fathers and mothers was the ONLY one of the 10 commandments with a promise. And that promise was:
“…so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”
But why would God include a promise with this specific commandment?
Why make a promise for this commandment, but not for the others?
Well, because dads aren’t always that easy to honor.
Sometimes fathers are difficult men to be around.
How many of you who are fathers here have ever made mistakes? (we all raised our hands)
We all fall short.
Even some of the best fathers will make mistakes.
A group of 10 year olds were asked what troubled them about their dads (at least 6 things)
1. They make promises, then they forget all about them, or else they say “it wasn’t really a promise, just a maybe.”
2. They don’t do the things they’re always telling the children to do—like pick up their things, or be neat, or always tell the truth.
3. They never really listen to what children have to say.
4. They make mistakes, but they won’t admit them.
5. They interrupt children all the time and think nothing of it. But if the child interrupts their dad, he gets a scolding or something worse.
6. Sometimes they punish children unfairly.
(“For Families Only”, J.A. Petersen, ed., Tynsdale, 1977, p. 253)
I don’t care how good a father you are, sooner or later you’re going to mess up in one of those areas.
But then there are other dads who’ve done a lot worse.
There are fathers who haven’t just messed up a little bit – they’ve destroyed any trust their kids might have in them. How could a son/daughter possibly honor them people like that?
Well, it IS hard… and that’s why God included the promise.
Apparently, God believes that honoring our parents is crucial for OUR well being
Otherwise He wouldn’t have made such a big deal about it.
But why does He expect me to honor my dad, even if he’s not worthy of it?
1st – because God asked us to (pause for effect)
God said so and that should be enough for most of us.
Leviticus 19:3 "Each of you must respect his mother and father…. I am the LORD your God.”
In other words: “Show respect to your parents because I’m your God and I asked you to.”
If it’s important to God… it should be important to me, because I love God.
2ndly – God is telling us we’ll miss out on HIS blessings if we don’t.
This is the only commandment with a blessing.
ILLUS: Years ago, the advice columnist Dear Abby told of a young man from a wealthy family who was about to graduate from high school. It was a custom in their affluent community for parents to give their graduating children a new car, and the boy and his dad had spent weeks visiting one dealership after another. The week before graduation they found the perfect car.
The boy was certain the car would be in the driveway on graduation night. But on the eve of his graduation his father handed him a small package wrapped in colorful paper. The Father said the package contained the most valuable gift he could think of.
His son unwrapped the package… and inside… was a Bible!
The boy was so angry he threw the Bible down and stormed out of the house. He and his father never saw each other again.
But several year later the news of the father’s death finally brought the son home again.
Following the funeral, he sat alone one evening, going through the possessions his father had left him as part of his inheritance… and he came across the Bible his dad had given him.
Overwhelmed by grief, he brushed away the dust and cracked it open for the first time. Inside was a cashier’s check dated the day of his high school graduation --in the exact amount of the car they had chosen together.
The gift had been there all along . . . but he had turned away because his father had disappointed him.
What a shame it would be - for us to turn away from the promises of heavenly Father because our earthly fathers might have done things to disappoint us!
3rdly - how I treat my father (mother) influences my character.
Proverbs 30:11-14 tells us
"There are those who curse their fathers and do not bless their mothers;
those who are pure in their own eyes and yet are not cleansed of their filth;
those whose eyes are ever so haughty, whose glances are so disdainful;
those whose teeth are swords and whose jaws are set with knives to devour the poor from the earth, the needy from among mankind.”
These folks are all the same people.
The same people who curse their parents are the same ones who are “pure in their own eyes”, whose “glances are disdainful”. They tend to be proud and difficult people to be around and they can often mistreat others, because they’ve learned to mistreat those were part of their own family.
Now why would that happen?
We need to understand - God knows that how we respond to our parents forms us.
How we treat our dad is how we’ll treat others in life.
How we think about dad shapes how we think about others
ILLUS: Just as an example, many counselors have made an observation that if you watch how boys and girls treat their parents you will KNOW how they’ll treat their wives and husbands.
• A boy who treats his mother well and show her respect, etc. will treat his wife that same way. But if he’s mean to his mother/disrespect – he’ll almost always mistreat his wife.
• A girl who respects her father will respect her husband; if she argues with her dad – she’ll argue with her husband.
They learned how to treat their potential spouses by the way the learned to respond to their parents while they were at home.
The reason it works that way is because we can’t REALLY get away from your dad and mom. Your folks are part of the foundation of who you are.
They’re part of you.
They’re DNA is intertwined in yours.
The decisions they’ve made (good AND bad) effect how you make your decisions now.
So, if I learn to honor my dad (whether he’s a great dad or not) that will shape my personality so that I learn how to respond to others around me. And if I learn to do that God’s way, my life will be better than it would have been. I’ll live long in the land God has given me, because I’ve learned to live right.
The last reason we need to honor our dads is because God expects us to minister to them.
In Ephesians 5 and 6, Paul talks about how we should minister to each other.
o He talks about how wives should minister to their husbands. He says wives should respect their husbands…even if they don’t deserve it.
o Paul tells husbands how they should minister to their wives. He says we should love our wives… even if they don’t deserve it.
o He describes how Employees (slaves) should minister to their employers (masters). We should work for them as if we were working for Jesus Himself… even if they don’t deserve it.
o And how employers (masters) should minister to their employees (slaves) with an eye towards who their Master is… even if those employees don’t deserve it.
Then, Paul talks to us about how we should minister to our parents. We should honor our parents… even when they don’t deserve it.
“’Honor your father and mother’ which is the first commandment with a promise” Ephesians 6:2
God is saying to us who are Christians – be MY ministers to your fathers.
Not because they deserve it (because often we dads don’t), but because that is our way of showing God’s love to them. AND if your mom and dad are not Christians, you might even influence them to change their lives because you’ve obeyed God in this matter.
So, these are the ways we can honor our fathers today
1. Find a way to fulfill one of their dreams
2. Whenever you speak of them, don’t complain about them/ don’t bring up past
3. And find ways of focusing on things they’ve done right in their lives
Ultimately, God wants you – as HIS servant – to find a way to bring His love into their lives
CLOSE: Zig Ziggler tells of the time he took his young son did that for him.
He had taken his son golfing and the boy was still relatively new to the game, so Zig was very impressed by his son's performance on one of the par 4 holes.
At the tee, the boy lifted the ball straight and true down the fairway. A second shot got him onto the green within 14 feet of the cup. Wanting his son to succeed, he went to great trouble in sighting the shot for him and gauging the lie of putt and then told his son just how he ought to play it.
His son stepped up to the ball and putted the ball perfectly into the cup just as his father had taught him. His first birdie.
Then it was Zig's turn. He also had made the green in 2 shots but his putt was far easier. For a moment he considered flubbing the shot so that he would not overshadow his son's achievement… but then he decided against it because it would go against everything he had taught his son about doing his best. He sank the putt easily and also birdied the hole.
As they were walking away to the next tee, Zig casually asked his son
"Well, son, were you rooting for me on that last shot."
"Dad," the boy replied, "I always root for you."
