Believers Who Are M.A.D.
A Life of Forgiveness
Matthew 18:21-35
Once there was a millionaire who owned a lot in an exclusive residential area of a large city. This lot presented an unusual problem. It was only 2 yards wide but nearly 100 feet long. There was nothing that he could do but sell it to one of the neighbors on either side. He went to the neighbor on one side of his lot and asks if he would be interested in buying the lot. The neighbor said, “Well only as a favor,” then named a ridiculously low price. The millionaire exploded. “Why that’s not even one-tenth of what it is worth!” He stormed out and went next store. To his dismay the other neighbor offered less. “Look,” said the neighbor smugly, “I’ve got you over a barrel. You can’t sell that lot to anyone else and you can’t build on it. So there’s my offer take it or leave it.” The millionaire was beside himself with rage. Within a few days, he hired an architect & a contractor to build one of the strangest houses ever conceived. Only five feet wide running the length of his property, his house was little more than a row of tiny rooms, each barely able to accommodate a stick of furniture. The neighbors complained, but the city officials could find no codes or violations to stop the construction. When it was finished, the millionaire moved into the uncomfortable house. There he stayed until his death. The house, which became known as “Spite House,” still stands as a monument to one man’s problem of hate and unforgiveness.
* This week I discovered a disturbing (yet true) statement. It said, “Most believers have no problem hearing and accepting the Biblical principles of ‘forgiveness’, but have great difficulty in ‘incorporating’ them into their lives. Forgiveness is one of those things which are easily expected of other while more very difficult to grant to others. Words like ‘you don’t know what he did’, ‘I can never get over that’, or ‘she hurt me bad’ are among some of the phrases we use to justify carrying unforgiveness in our heart.
* Did you realize that the concept of forgiveness is not a concept which we imported into the church from the pagan culture? To those outside of God’s love (particularly in the Old Testament ‘pagan’ culture) to forgive is to be ‘weak-spirited’ and infrequently mentioned. This could be why Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, “You have heard it said—hate your enemies.” We could respond, “who said it and what did they mean by it?’ However, it was the Jewish culture who taught it (the Imprecatory Psalms) to all who listened & heard. Jesus brought a new way of thinking & living.
* The old adage, “To ere is human, to forgive is divine” is literally true. To live the life forgiveness is to live above the level of the natural man. It is not about a onetime action, it is about an ongoing lifestyle. The life we lead possesses much power; the power to influence, to impact, to injure, and even to invite. Let’s understand the implications of forgiveness.
1. It Confuses – This concept of a “life of forgiveness” confuses many of us, certainly it confused Peter. Questions like ‘when Jesus says ‘forgive,’ what does He really mean?’ Or ‘how do I do this?’ Or even ‘when do I forgive—do I wait until after they ask?’ If we are to make a difference in this culture, we must reflect Him and His commands, so let’s see if we can ferret out what the Bible teaches about forgiveness. First, I call your attention back to verses 15-20. Jesus is teaching about restoration from sin (which does require divine and human forgiveness). Peter hears this teaching and perhaps is thinking about someone in particular who has a habit of wronging Peter. So Peter hears this and asks the question. Quite likely, Peter used the ‘7 times’ because the Rabbinical law stated you only had to forgive ‘3 times’ so Peter thought Jesus would be impressed with his doubling and adding 1 to it. Can you hear the chat?
* What is forgiveness? It is a release, turning loose of, & even moving on. In simple terms, it is letting go of your right &/or desire to get even. It is not condoning, winking at, or even saying ‘it’s okay.’
* When do I forgive? Some have suggested that ‘we are under no Biblical mandate to forgive until they repent.’ Is that so? Well, Jesus forgave the soldiers who had no desire to be forgiven. Time and again He forgave those who were afflicted when they weren’t even asking for forgiveness. As for you and me if offer this; if I regard iniquity in my heart, I cannot have fellowship with the Father. Unforgiveness is iniquity. Additionally, the first step to freedom for me is to forgive you. Whether I’m able to reconcile the relationship or not, if I don’t deal in forgiveness in my own heart, I will remain in bondage and provide fertile ground for a root of bitterness to spring up. The sooner I come to forgive, the sooner I get freed. Also, if I go ahead & deal in forgiveness in ‘my’ life, then when God grant the opportunity for reconciliation, I am ready and prepared without any agenda to effect healing & restoration. Don’t’ wait.
* How do I forgive? I’ll submit that you must know your position in Christ. If you are ‘in Christ’ then you have been forgiven much. To understand just how much you have been forgiveness will birth in you a heart of compassion, mercy, and even grace. Most of the time we hold others up to a higher standard than we hold ourselves up to. We give them one opportunity and that’s it. Some of us have not spoken to a neighbor in years because of ‘something’ that happened 15 years ago. They have attempted apologize, but it was ‘disingenuous’ or was ‘too late’ or ‘didn’t have the right words.’ If this is you, with all the love I can muster I say this; ‘you are the one who is being hurt & disappointing the Lord.’
* To make a difference by living a life of forgiveness s to not be confused about what it means. Just as forgiveness flowed out of Him, it should also flow out of us.
2. It Confirms – Our forgiveness confirms what we are and what we believe. Many times I have stated that “we are what we believe and the rest is just talk.” To live a life where unforgiveness dominates is to confirm that I have no part of Christ living in me. If I have Christ living in me, according to Paul, then I have been giving the ministry of ‘reconciliation.’ This is the ministry of ‘settling issues’, ‘restoring relationships’, and even ‘regaining Godly peace.’ The person outside of Christ has no interest in this type of work. In fact, this person is always ready to keep the trouble going, stirring up the crowd, and seeking to ‘get back, even, or ahead.’
* A lady was sick, so she went to the doctor. He examined her, did a number of tests and told her the bad news. "I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but I’m afraid you’ve contracted rabies." The doctor left the room for a minute, and when he returned the woman was busy writing on a piece of paper. He asked, "What are you doing, writing your will?" She said, "No, I’m making a list of all the people I’m going to bite."
* Look at the Bible story & let’s grow from its teaching. The first slave owed an enormous amount of money and was forgiven much, walked out debt free! So out of the goodness of his heart, he grabbed someone who owed him a few dollars (by comparison), abused him, and ultimately threw him into ‘debtor’s prison’. This confirmed that the first slave was not worthy, nor did he embrace the forgiveness he had been granted.
* Have you embraced the forgiveness which God has offered? You say, “Well yea, I gave saved 76 years ago.” Okay, so here is the question; “If I am saved and realize that I am the first slave in this story (that is, I have been forgiven of more than I could ever repay), then what does it mean if I respond to those who have sinned against me like the first slaves did to his counterpart. If I have been forgiven by God, how can I not forgive the little things done to me by my friends, enemies, brothers, and sisters?
* How can I harbor unforgiveness and allow it to grow to bitterness?
* Know what I’ve discovered in my own walk? A sign of moving toward spiritual maturity is when the time is shortened between being sinned against and being able to forgive in my heart.
3. It Conveys – In my mind verses 31 and 35 teach us about this truth. First, people see, know, and tell, about how I deal with people. (You too).
* What we do in this matter of forgiveness conveys what is in our heart. Few things reveal what is hidden in our heart like our handling of forgiveness. It is heard in our words, seen in our lives, and felt in our attitude. It is inescapable. People see us for what we are, not what we want them to ‘think’ we are. We can say, “I walk in forgiveness” but for the one who spends time with us, they know better. If I walk in forgiveness why am I so historical about those who have hurt me?
* After the Civil War, Robert E. Lee visited a Kentucky lady who took him to the remains of a grand old tree in front of her house. There she bitterly cried that its limbs and trunk had been destroyed by Federal artillery fire. She looked to Lee for a word condemning the North or at least sympathizing with her loss. After a brief silence, Lee said, “Cut it down, my dear Madam, and forget it.” It is better to forgive the injustices of the past than to allow them to remain, let bitterness take root and poison the rest of our life.
* Lack of forgiveness breeds a poison life (even been around someone who is poison?) while forgiveness flows from the Father and through us to others. When anything from the Father flows through us, it has the purpose of cleansing us. Whatever the tree of unforgiveness is in your life, cut it down and forget it. Only then will healing and forgiveness come.
