God’s Foundation for My Family
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Sermon by Rick Crandall
McClendon Baptist Church - February 14, 2010
*Today is Valentine’s Day, and most of you know it’s also our 35th wedding anniversary!
-I thank God for Mary and the time He has given us together, but I want you to know that we are happily married today only by the grace of God.
-In the first 15 years there were a couple of times when our marriage was on life-support. It was mostly my fault, of course, but God brought us through.
*All families have problems from time to time. I like what David Dykes said in a sermon on marriage. He opened with these words:
Before I share this message I must issue a caveat: I don’t claim to be an expert on marriage. I don’t even consider myself to be a very good husband. I am constantly trying to improve. However, I can say that outside my relationship with Jesus Christ, my relationship to Cindy is the most important in my life.
*In 3 weeks, Cindy and I will have been happily married for 10 years. Of course we’ve been married for 28 years! We have a strange and wonderful relationship: I’m strange, and Cindy is wonderful. I’m far from a perfect husband. Once when I did something stupid, Cindy wrote me a note that read, “Dear David, I hate you. -- Love, Cindy.” (1)
*All families have troubles from time to time. -- And the best marriages can get better. Even “Code Blue” marriages can be brought back to life. Our families can be happier and healthier than ever before, -- if we will build them on the foundation of God’s love.
1. God’s foundation for my family is His love. And as we look into the Word of God this morning, first we see that there is no substitute for God’s love.
*Paul made this clear in vs. 1-3, where he said:
1. Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
2. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
*Paul is telling us here that.
-Great communication is not enough.
-Great understanding is not enough.
-Great knowledge is not enough.
-Great faith is not enough.
-Great giving is not enough.
*God is telling us here: “I don’t care who you are, what you say, what you have or what you have done, -- if you don’t have love, then it all comes to nothing.”
*There is no substitute for God’s kind of love, and God wants to fill our hearts with His love. Robertson and Muriel McQuilkin shared love like that. He proposed to her on Valentine's Day in 1948, and they were married that August. For the next 3 decades, they raised 6 children and served God together in many ways, including 12 years as missionaries in Japan.
*In 1968 they returned to the States and Robertson became president of Columbia International University in South Carolina. Muriel taught at the college, spoke at conferences and was featured on radio and TV. But Muriel developed Alzheimer’s disease. The first sign of it was in 1978, and Robertson watched helplessly as his loving partner slowly faded away. Later in the disease he wrote:
-Muriel cannot speak in sentences now, only in phrases and words, and often words that make little sense: But she can say one sentence, and she says it often: "I love you." She not only says it, she acts it. The board arranged for a companion to stay in our home so I could go daily to the office. During those two years it became increasingly difficult to keep Muriel home. As soon as I left, she would take out after me. With me she was content; without me, she was distressed, sometimes terror stricken.
-The walk to school is a mile round trip. She would make that trip as many as 10 times a day. Sometimes at night, when I helped her undress, I found bloody feet. When I told our family doctor, he choked up. "Such love," he said simply.
-Robertson added, “I wish I loved God like that -- desperate to be near him at all times. Thus she teaches me, day by day.”
*In 1990, Robertson realized that Muriel needed his full attention and he resigned. Here is part of his letter:
-“The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel “in sickness and in health -- till death do us part.” So, as I told the students and faculty (in chapel), as a man of my word, integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. She has cared for me fully and sacrificially all these years; if I cared for her the next 40 years I would not be out of debt.
*Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But, there is more; I love Muriel. She is a delight to me – her childlike dependence and confidence in me. Her warm love, occasional flashes of wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. I do not have to care for her. I get to! It is a high honor to care for such a person.” (2)
*That’s the way it should be, and that’s the way it can be, through God’s kind of love. There is no substitute for God’s love.
2. And there is no step up from God’s love.
*You can never do better than the agape love of Almighty God. And in vs. 4-7 Paul gives us an incredible description of this love. In the New King James:
4. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
5. does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
6. does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
*Listen to it again in the New Living Translation:
4. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud
5. or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.
6. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
7. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
*These verses are like a spiritual diamond with so much value packed into so little space. In just 4 verses, Paul gives us 15 tremendous qualities of God’s love.
*In vs. 4, agape love suffers long. It’s patient. It’s kind. And a little kindness can do amazing things. King Duncan tells about a letter sent to “Psychology Today” some years back. Dr. Robert Healy wrote about a patient of his, a young man, who had come to him for therapy after changing his mind about suicide.
*This young man had planned to jump off a bridge when something strange happened. As he was driving his car to the bridge, he stopped at a traffic light. And looking over at the sidewalk, he saw an elderly woman who was smiling at him. The young man felt himself smiling back. The light changed and he drove on. But the memory of her kind face stayed with him. Later, he told the doctor, “Her smile made me think that perhaps life wasn't so bad after all.”
*And Duncan said: “Nothing dramatic, -- just an old woman with a pleasant expression on her face. But the effect it had on this man was life changing. One life touched another life and a life was changed. Think of the implications. A young man decides not to commit suicide. Does it stop there? No! Since that man has decided to live, he will touch other lives. Suppose that young man later has children and one of them performs some significant act. Maybe one of his children or grandchildren will find the cure for cancer.” (3)
*Who knows what might come out of that one, small act of kindness to a stranger.
-Who knows what might come out of one, small act of kindness to the people you know best.
*Godly love is patient and kind. It also doesn’t envy other people. It’s not pushy or proud. Then in vs. 5, Godly love is not rude. It’s unselfish. It doesn’t seek its own good. It seeks the good of others.
*Godly love is not easily provoked. Then the NKJ says, “It thinks no evil.” That means it’s not keeping a “get-even” list of all the wrong things you have done. So this love is not quick to judge others. It’s not suspicious. It gives people the benefit of the doubt.
*Have you been quick to judge others lately? Godly love gives people the benefit of the doubt. Husbands and wives, one thing this means is that we need to stop criticizing each other so much.
*Men, on the basis of 35 years’ experience, I highly recommend you stop criticizing your wife. This may seem obvious, but I’m a slow learner. It took me almost 30 years to figure this out! I don’t know why, but for some reason I thought it would be helpful to criticize my wife. I thought it would help her be better, and see things the right way, -- my way. If she cooked something I didn’t like, well I just figured she wanted to know.
*That never worked out too good. And I don’t know why it took me 30 years. But I finally realized that every time I criticized my wife, she got a little upset, every time. Then I realized that my wife, most wives, certainly most Christian wives are trying to do the best they possibly can. So when you criticize them it hurts. I hope you don’t wait 30 years to figure that out!
*God wants us to treat each other with His perfect love. And ladies, this is a two-way street. Years ago, Coach Pepper Rodgers was in the middle of a terrible football season at UCLA. It got so bad that it even upset his home life. Pepper later said, “My dog was my only friend. I told my wife that a man needs at least two friends. -- And she bought me another dog!” (4)
*Ladies -- Don’t be like that! God wants us to treat each other with His perfect love. In vs. 6, it does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. That means this love takes no pleasure in someone else’s pain. Whatever makes the Lord sad should make me sad too. Whatever makes God happy should make me happy too.
*Then in vs. 7, love bears all things. It’s the word picture of a roof that covers and protects. Love bears all things and believes all things. That means it’s ever ready to believe the best of every person. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Or as the NIV says, “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
*My dad had love like that for my mom. I’ve shared this with you before, but I want to share it again, because it’s one of my most treasured possessions. It’s the card my dad wrote my mom on their 25th Wedding Anniversary, May 1st, 1974:
“Twenty-five years -- How could I be so fortunate? There has never been a day or a minute I’d swap -- Never a moment’s regret. I know I’ve caused you some heart aches, but you’ve never really shown it. Your strength has kept me going, and I only wish that we could count another 25. Maybe, God willing, we can.
How does one thank his wife? The wonderful family you bore for me. I look on with each one with special pride, and see in each of them the fine points they got from you. When I see you with Liz, I see the fine woman I married imparting that love to yet another generation. How lucky we all are to have you.
Thanks for these great years.
Again, I love you,
Fred”
*We may not ever be able to express it that well. But God can surely give all of us His most excellent love: for our families, our Christian brothers and sisters, our neighbors, and even for our enemies. We all need God’s excellent love! There is no step up from God’s love.
3. And there is no stopping God’s love.
*In vs. 8, God’s kind of love “never fails.” -- The word picture means “it never dies, it never falls down, it never gets knocked off-course.” Then, vs. 13 tells us that God’s kind of love “abides,” “remains” or “endures forever.” We need something that will last forever. And this is it. There is no stopping God’s love!
*Most all of us used a Bunsen burner in high school chemistry lab. (And they were glad you didn’t burn the school down, though a few of us probably came close.)
*That little gas burner was invented in 1855, by a German chemist named Robert Bunsen. He was a great scientist, teacher and man. As Robert Bunsen lay dying in 1899, he gently pulled his wife’s head down to him. And with his last bit of strength he softly said, “In your eyes I have seen the light of the eternal.” (5)
*Robert Bunsen saw the unstoppable love of the Lord in the life of his wife. That’s the kind of love we need to see in each other! There is no stopping God’s love.
4. And there is no salvation without God’s love.
*Remember that Paul was writing to saved people here. And this discussion of love came in the middle of Paul’s teaching on spiritual gifts. But as he thought about the wonder of God’s unstoppable love, Paul’s heart turned to our eternal home in Heaven.
-Listen to what Paul said to these Christians in vs. 8-12:
8. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
*Paul then compared our Christian life in this world to our life in Heaven:
9. For we know in part and we prophesy in part.
10. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
*Matthew Henry explained: “Things are dark and confused now, compared with what they will be (in Heaven). -- It is only the light of heaven that will remove the clouds and darkness that hide the face of God from us.” (6)
*When Paul thought about God’s love, he just naturally thought about Heaven. But what does God’s love have to do with Heaven? -- Everything! “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
*Vs. 9&12, remind us that we can know God. But we can only know God through the love that we find in Jesus Christ. Jesus loved us so much that He was willing to die on the cross for our sins. And now we can have a life-giving relationship with the Risen Savior. To know Jesus is to know Love.
*David DeWitt explains: The love of Jesus is stronger than any problem you may have to face. Jesus said that He will never leave us nor forsake us.
-He will be there in the midst of our joys.
-He will stand with us in our sorrows.
-He will give us wisdom, courage and strength.
*The love of Jesus is stronger than any failure you may have committed.
-Jesus loves us in spite of the things that we have done.
-Jesus not only promises to forgive our sins but He also forgets them.
-He wipes the slate of our lives clean and then refuses to remember what we have done.
*The love of Jesus is stronger than any fault that you may have.
-There is nothing that you can do to make Jesus love you any less.
-He loves you with an unconditional love.
-There are no strings attached.
-There are no bargains to be made.
-He just loves us all the same. (7)
*If you ever doubt it, look back to the cross, where Jesus suffered and died for you. -- There is no salvation without God’s love.
*Make God’s love the foundation for every part of your life. -- Make His love the foundation for your family and for every relationship in your life.
1. SermonCentral.com sermon “How to Build a 3-D Marriage” by David Dykes - Malachi 2:13-16
2. Several sources: 1990 Christianity Today; www.ciu.edu/articles/livingbyvows; Leadership, Summer 1993, p. 43 - (found at Sermons.com - Love); SermonCentral.com sermon “Becoming the Man of Your Wife’s Dreams” by Gene Gregory - Eph 5:25-33
3. Adapted from “The Amazing Law of Influence” by King Duncan (Gretna, LA: Pelican Publishing, 2001). (Original source: A sermon by Dr. Ward Williams, The United Christian Church of Caracas, Venezuela.) (Found in Dynamic Preaching sermon: “THE AMAZING LAW OF INFLUENCE - Sermon 2 - CHANGED BY A SMILE” by King Duncan - Matthew 12:29)
4. SermonCentral.com illustration contributed by Russell Brownworth
5. Original source unknown -- illustration found on sermons.com
6. CONCISE COMMENTARY ON THE WHOLE BIBLE - Matthew Henry. Printed work by Moody Press - Copyright 1988. Electronic Work Product. Ellis Enterprises, Inc.
7. Adapted from SermonCentral.com sermon “What A Friend We have in Jesus” by David DeWitt - John 15:13-15 - 10/08/05
