The Sin Of Gossip
Proverbs 11:13 “13A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.
You and I don't take the sin of gossip as seriously as we ought.
Gossiper or Encourager?
Do you remember an Olympic skier by the name of Picabo Street. Picabo [pronounced “peek-a-boo”] She is, or was the well-known Olympic gold medalist in the Super G a few years ago. But, she is more than a famous skier. In fact, between training on the slopes and traveling around the world to compete, she managed to get an education and earn a degree in nursing. Early in her nursing career, she worked briefly as an ICU nurse in a large metropolitan hospital.
She did outstanding work. But there was a problem. The head of nursing had to tell her not to answer the phone in ICU because of the confusion it caused callers. Callers would be connected to ICU and hear Picabo say in her best professional voice: “Picabo, ICU.”
True story? No way.
Picabo is not now a nurse, has never been a nurse, and as far as I know, doesn’t particularly want to be a nurse.
But she gets the joke. Since she was a child, she’s been teased about her name. Her parents got it from an Idaho town that takes its name from a Native American word meaning “shining waters.”
Picabo, ICU. It’s was just rumor.
Picabo has a problem, and so do we: We cannot resist the temptation to spread a good story, whether it is true or not.
(Do you know when it all began? Do these words sound familiar “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
The Bible tells us in James Chaper 3
“the tongue is a fire,”
• it can set an entire forest ablaze (3:5-6),
• it’s dangerous and destructive,
• its power is far greater than its size,
• it’s like a tiny rudder that can guide a huge ship,
• it’s like a small bridle that controls the movement of a large horse (vv. 3-4)
a. We would if we understood it better.
b. Seems like a small sin when compared to others.
c. It is not a small sin to God
Prov. 11:13 A gossip goes around telling secrets
Prov 16:28 A gossip separates the best of friends.
Prov 18:8 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; Prov 20:19, “A gossip goes around telling secrets,
Prov 26:20, “and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.
Prov 26: 22 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;
they go down to a man's inmost parts.
2 Cor 12:20 For I am afraid that when I come I won’t like what I find, and you won’t like my response. I am afraid that I will find quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior.
The evil of Gossip-You may quickly agree that gossip is a sin, but are you guilty of redefining terms, making excuses and calling your evil words good
I. WHAT IS GOSSIP?
A. What exactly is gossip?
Webster defines gossip in two ways both as a noun and as a verb. As a noun, a gossip is a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts. As a verb, gossip is a rumor or report of an intimate nature.
It could be said that gossip is nothing more than spreading supposed facts about another person in a sensational way. Nothing more than airing someone else’s dirty laundry to gain attention for themselves.
The sad reality of the matter is this: a gossip is a person who will talk about others with you and then talks to others about you.
I believe the best definition of gossip that I have found is this: gossip is saying something, even if it is true, with the intent to cause personal harm. By that definition we are all guilty.
• The family member that is considered to be a dead beat
• Co-worker is just plain lazy
• Person at church just gets on my nerves
B. Here's the key for getting a handle on gossip--it is information about another person TRUE or NOT, showing them in a less than positive light.
1. Hebrew word for "slander" simply means "bad report."
a. It's what Joseph did to his brothers (Gen. 37:2). Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report.
b. There was a law against this sort of thing in Israel (Lev. 19:16). “Do not spread slanderous gossip among your people.
c. Illust. Debbie Scales, in an article in Christian Woman magazine, says: "This verse brings to mind the picture of a person making her way through the ranks of the already murmuring and unhappy Israelite travelers. As she goes up and down among the people, she whispers the latest news of the camp. `Don't quote me on this, but I've heard that Moses may be on his way out. There are other men, you know, who could lead just as well as Moses anyway--probably better. And by the way, have you noticed how the Zuriel family is always the first group out to gather manna every morning? I probably shouldn't even mention it, but there's no need to be greedy, if you ask me. Oh, there go those rambunctious Ashbel boys again! I do wish their parents would control them a little better. I don't like to talk about people, but he way they let those boys behave is just a shame!'"
("I Don't Mean to Gossip, but ..." in Christian Woman 3, Sept/Oct 1987, p. 17).
2. The NT has two interesting words regarding this sin of the tongue.
a. Kat-alal-eo ("slander—speaq against").
b. Psithuristas ("gossip"; KJV--"whisperers").
c. Illust. Only difference between "gossip" and "slander" is one of degrees. Suppose you wanted to kill someone. More than one way to do it. Take a shotgun, walk right up to their face, announce that you're going to shoot them, and then blow them away. That's slander. Or, you could take a rifle with a scope. Attach a silencer to it, hide yourself a safe distance away, kill them from long-distance. Never know what hit them. That's gossip.
II. WHY DO WE GOSSIP ?
A. PRIDE (3 John 1:9-10). I wrote to the church about this, but Diotrephes, who loves to be the leader, refuses to have anything to do with us.
10When I come, I will report some of the things he is doing and the evil accusations he is making against us. Not only does he refuse to welcome the traveling teachers, he also tells others not to help them. And when they do help, he puts them out of the church.
1. If you view others as competition, gossip discredits your
opponent.
2. Easier to tear others down than to build self up.
3. Got to know everything--pride of being thought as one "in
the know."
a. Watch those who know about everything-There is a reason that they know everything—Live on the telephone—“Did you know that” Beware of those people.
B. IDLENESS 2 Thess. 3:10-12, 10Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.”
11Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business. 12We command such people and urge them in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and work to earn their own living.
1. "Idleness is the devil's workshop."
2. Being busy doing the things we should lessens chance of
gossip.
III. WAY TO AVOID THIS SIN IS TO OBEY THE WORD!
A. Eph. 4:29-32. 29Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own,£ guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (NLT)
B. Phil. 4:8. 8Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (ASV)
Wouldn't this old world be better If folks we meet would say,
I know something good about you! And then treat you that way?
Wouldn't it be fine and dandy, If each handclasp warm and true
Carried with it this assurance, I know something good about you!
Wouldn't life be lots more happy If the good that's in us all,
Were the only thing about us, That folks bothered to recall?
Wouldn't life be lots more happy, If we praised the good we see?
For there's a lot of goodness In the worst of you and me.
Wouldn't it be nice to practice That fine art of thinking too?
You know something good about me! I know something good about you!
Illust. Ann Landers column--"Gem of the Day": "People of high intelligence talk about ideas. People of average intelligence talk about things. People of no intelligence talk about other people.
Where are you in the lineup?"
IV. PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS FOR OVERCOMING SIN OF GOSSIP.
A. If you can't say something good about someone, say
nothing (Rom. 12:10). 10Love each other with genuine affection,
and take delight in honoring each other. (NLT)
B. Keep private matters private
Prov. 11:13, A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who
are trustworthy can keep a confidence.”
Prov. 25:9-10, “When arguing with your neighbor, don’t betray
another person’s secret. 10Others may accuse you of
gossip, and you will never regain your good reputation.” (NLT)
C. Watch out for places & situations where gossip is likely to
happen.
1. (Friends ... family dinner table ...
2. Life-Support Groups where you're "sharing concerns" ...
3. group after church in home/restaurant).
D. Do not allow gossip to go unchallenged. (Various approaches)
1. Constructive: "Now, how can we help this person?"
2. Subtle: Smile sweetly & say, "I'm feeling very uncomfortable
with this conversation."
3. Matt. 18:15: "Have you gone to speak with this person
privately?"
4.Concerned: "If ____ knew we were talking about them like this
they'd be real hurt!"
E. When talking about others, always ask yourself the
question, "Am I gossiping?"
1. Talking about ways to help this person ... or just talking?
2. Is this person being lifted up or torn down?
3. Would I be comfortable if this person were to walk in on our
conversation? Would I stop talking?
(Chinese proverb: "Speak only good things about people and you will never have to whisper.”
Conclusion:
1. There are going to be times when we will have to speak about
someone who is not present.
2. May God help us to always speak of that person in the best
possible light. May God put a watch on all of our tongues so we
may avoid the sin of gossip
Speak words of life and of encouragement. I love the story that Ken Blanchart tells, a business executive that does business training all over America. Ken Blanchart and Barbara Glands did some training with three thousand front-line workers at grocery stores and retail outlets across the country. They talked about the power of words and how what you say really does make a difference in people’s lives. A month later, Barbara said she got a call from a guy named Johnny, who was at the training. Johnny told her early on, “I’m nineteen years old. I have Downs Syndrome. I work as a bagger at a grocery store.” He said this almost immediately. He said, “I went back to the store and I didn’t know how to apply your statements. I liked your talk but I didn’t know what to do with it. I went home and talked with my dad and got an idea. My dad and I sat down at the computer and everyday we come up with a statement that is affirming of people, that’s encouraging. If I can’t find one in a little quote book, I’ll make it up. We’ll type it up six different times on the computer. I print off fifty sheets and cut all of them.” So he has three hundred of these quotes. Then, every night, Johnny signs each one of them personally. Then the next day at the grocery store he puts this stack right by where he bags the groceries. He gets everyone’s groceries bagged up. Then on the last sack he puts the quote of the day, the encouraging word, in the sack. He makes sure he looks them in the eye and says, “I put something very special for you in this sack. I hope it will brighten your day.” He’ll take them out to their car and help them load up.
Johnny does this every single day. Barbara said after about a month she got a phone call from the manager of that grocery store. He said, “Barbara I can’t believe it. Something really amazing is beginning to happen. I was walking around the store and I noticed while we had lots of checkers at the checkout line, there was no one there but maybe one or two people. The line where Johnny was doing bagging went all the way back to the frozen food section.” True story! He said, “I would tell them over the intercom that there were other lines you could move over to. We would walk down the line and tell people there were other lines open. People would just look at us and say, ‘No, we’ll wait because we want Johnny’s encouraging word for the day.’ One woman came by and grabbed the supervisor. She said, ‘I used to only come to the grocery store once a week or once every other week. Now I come by almost every day. I buy something just so I can get Johnny’s encouraging word for the day.’” About a month later, the store manager called Barbara and said, “It’s changing our entire culture of our store. Even in the floral department when a flower was broken they used to just throw it away. Now they walk out into the lines, on their own initiative, they pin it onto elderly women or young girls. They brighten their day.”
Listen, there are a lot of people in the org chart at that grocery store but I’m telling you the most important person is Johnny, the bagger. He’s speaking words of life and words of life can change a culture. It can change a group of people.
