An efficiency expert concluded a lecture with a note of caution: “You don’t want to try these techniques at home.”
“Why not?” asked someone from the back of the audience.
“I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years,” the expert explained. “She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table, and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. ‘Honey,’ I suggested, ‘Why don’t you try carrying several things at once?’”
The person in the audience asked, “Did it save time?”
The expert replied, “Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven.” (Aaron Goerner, Utica, New York, Joke of the Day, www.Preaching Today.com)
Criticism seldom, if ever, works. Even in our sincere efforts to help people, they don’t always appreciate it, and it tends to tear people down more than it builds them up.
Even so, it’s a terrible tendency especially for those of us who have followed Christ for a while. We’ve learned so much over the years. & If we’re not careful we find ourselves becoming critical of those who are less experienced or who just don’t do it the way we have done it for years. & Worst of all, we can become crabby, old cranks that nobody can please, and I know none of us wants that.
So watch out for a critical spirit, because it really doesn’t benefit those we are trying to help, and in the long-run, it is self-destructive.
But somebody says, “I really want to help people. If pointing out their faults doesn’t work, what does?” That’s the question I want us to explore this morning: How can we truly help people? How can we help the young and those with less experience grow in their relationship with Christ and serve Christ better?
Well, let’s see how Jesus addressed that problem with his first disciples who themselves were becoming overly critical. You see, they had followed Jesus for three years, and they had learned from the best – Jesus Himself! So when they see somebody else trying to do their ministry, they stop him.
If you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Mark 9, Mark 9, where Jesus shows them and us how to really help the young and the inexperienced without destructive criticism.
Mark 9:38 “Teacher,” said John, “we saw a man driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us.” (NIV)
He didn’t go to the right “school.” He didn’t do it the way we do it, so we stopped him.
The funny thing is these same disciples failed to cast a demon out of a boy earlier in this chapter. Oh, they’re quick to point out someone else’s faults, but they quickly forget their own. At least this man was successful, but they stop him anyway, because, well, “he’s not one of us; he’s not our kind.”
What does Jesus have to say about this?
Mark 9:39-40 “Do not stop him,” Jesus said. “No one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us. (NIV)
Men, we’re all on the same team, Jesus says, and I’m going to reward the least little effort of anyone who serves in my name.
Mark 9:41 I tell you the truth, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to Christ will certainly not lose his reward. (NIV)
So don’t stop the young and inexperienced. Don’t stop those who are trying to serve me, Jesus says, even if it isn’t up to your standards, because those you would criticize I am going to reward.
How do we truly help people grow in their relationship with Christ and in their ministry skills? Well, 1st of all…
DON’T STOP THEM.
Don’t hinder them from serving. Don’t keep them from ministering in Jesus’ name, even if all they do is give a cup of cold water, because Jesus appreciates it even if we would criticize it.
Kay Warren, a women’s conference speaker, talks about returning home to California with a friend and passing through the Dallas–Fort Worth airport. On the way to their connecting gate, they heard loud patriotic music playing and saw a group, mostly women, wearing colorful hats, cheering, and waving American flags. The troops were coming home and this was their welcoming party.
Two women encouraged Kay and her friend to grab flags and join in. They were early for their next flight, so they took places in the makeshift greeting line. At first, a few soldiers just dribbled by, but they whooped and waved their flags furiously. Then the pace picked up as dozens of men and women in uniform came barreling through. Everyone kept repeating: “Welcome home! We’re glad you’re back! We appreciate you!” Some soldiers wiped away tears, while others displayed huge, self-conscious smiles. (Kay Warren, The Loudest Cheers in Heaven, www. christianitytoday.com, 5-28-09; www.PreachingToday.com)
My friends, we’re soldiers in God’s army, engaged in a difficult spiritual battle. Some of us are tired and weary. Some of us are wounded and hurt. Some of us are just plain discouraged because there doesn’t seem to be much progress. But there is coming a day when we will all come home to glory. And there, as we step out on those golden streets, will be our welcoming party. Jesus Himself will be front and center, jumping up and down, screaming with all the rest, “Welcome home! I appreciate you!”
You can be sure there will be some tears, especially among those who feel unappreciated today. Maybe that’s where you’re at right now. You’ve done your best to serve the Lord, your family, or this community, and nobody seems to appreciate it. Maybe your efforts have been criticized and you’re ready to give up.
Please don’t, because Jesus appreciates your efforts, and He is your biggest fan, no matter what anybody else says. He will reward every cup of cold water given in his name. He will reward even our smallest efforts to serve Him, but why wait until glory to get in on all the fun of that welcoming party.
There are people right here in this room who need to hear your words of appreciation today. They don’t need to hear your words of criticism, of how they did it wrong. They need to hear you say, “I appreciate you. I appreciate your efforts to serve. Thank you very much.”
Oh, how much we could lighten the load for each other just by saying, “Thank you” on a regular basis. Our words of encouragement can provide even the most weary servant the courage it takes to keep on going one more day. On the other hand, our critical comments can stop them dead in their tracks.
In the award-winning film, The Joy Luck Club, one little girl has the capacity, in her own words, “to see the secrets of a chessboard.” This special gift enables her to become a national chess champion by age eight.
Her only liability is a driven parent, who is both envious of her daughter’s gifts and using her to fulfill her own selfish ambition for wealth and power. At one point, the little girl dares to speak back to her mother, and the woman responds first with an icy silent treatment, and then by saying to her daughter, “You are nothing. You are nothing at all.”
This is how the little girl describes what happened next. “What she said to me was like a curse. This power I had, this belief in what I’d been given, I could actually feel it draining away. I could feel myself becoming so ordinary. And all the secrets that I once saw I couldn’t see any more. All I could see were my mistakes and my weaknesses, and the best part of me disappeared.” (Pastor Daniel Meyer, from sermon Words and Wisdom: Secrets to the Significant Life (part 4), delivered at Christ Church of Oak Brook, Oak Brook, Illinois; www.Preaching Today.com)
That’s what our words can do to people. They can drain away the best parts and leave only their mistakes and weaknesses.
Oswald Chambers once said, “A man who is continually criticized becomes good for nothing, the effect of criticism knocks all the gumption and power out of him. (Oswald Chambers, Studies in the Sermon on the Mount, Christianity Today, Vol. 30, no.4; www.PreachingToday.com)
My friends, with our limited resources, we can’t afford to be knocking the gumption and power out of people, especially out of our young people. Please, let’s watch it lest our words of criticism stop their efforts to serve.
Sure, they’re going to make mistakes. Sure, they have a lot to learn, but we don’t help them when our critical remarks keep them from trying any further. Please, don’t stop people from serving with critical remarks. And…
DON’T SCANDALIZE THEM either.
Don’t cause them to stumble. Don’t trip them up with your words. That’s what Jesus warns His deisciples about.
Mark 9:42 “And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck. (NIV)
Who are the “little ones” Jesus is talking about here? Well, the word in other contexts is used of those who are younger (Mark 15:40) or of less importance (Matthew 11:11; Luke 9:48). The immediate context refers to the man the disciples told to stop serving, who was certainly of less importance in their eyes, and quite probably younger and inexperienced.
And Jesus says, “Watch it lest you cause one of these younger believers to sin.” The word is scandalize in the Greek and has the idea of giving offense and tripping somebody up.
So what Jesus is actually saying is: If anyone scandalizes one of these younger believers, if anyone offends a younger believer so much so that they are tripped up in their service to me, then “it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.”
In other words, if my words cause a young and inexperienced believer to give up in his service to Christ, then I better hope I drown before Jesus gets a hold of me.
That’s how much Jesus cares for these younger believers. That’s how much Jesus wants them to serve. & That’s how much He appreciates their service, so much so that He will seriously hurt those who hurt them.
That’s what Jesus warned His first disciples about. And that’s what He would warn us about today, if He were right here in this room.
A. B. Simpson, that great missionary statesman and scholar, once put it this way: “I would rather play with forked lightning, or take in my hands living wires with their fiery currents, than speak a reckless word against any servant of Christ, or idly repeat the slanderous darts which thousands of Christians are hurling on others, to the hurt of their own souls and bodies.”
On a lighter note, Steve Martin once said, “Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.” (Monday Morning Insight, www.ChurchStaffing.com, 4-25-05; www. PreachingToday.com)
No. How about if we just eliminate the criticism altogether? If we truly want to help young and inexperienced believers, then don’t stop them with critical remarks, and don’t scandalize them, as well.
Instead, Jesus calls us to take drastic measures to keep OURSELVES from tripping up, and to keep OURSELVES from being scandalized. In other words, don’t be pointing out the faults of others. Instead…
TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN FAULTS.
That’s what Jesus told His first disciples.
Mark 9:43 If your hand causes you to sin (literally, if your hand scandalizes you, if it trips you up), cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. (NIV)
Mark 9:45-48 And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, where "their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched."
Hell is a place of eternal torment where “the fire never goes out,” and we want to make sure we don’t get anywhere near that place.
Now, that doesn’t mean we literally have to cut off our hands and feet or pluck out our eyes to get into heaven. No. Jesus is using the language of hyperbole. He is exaggerating to make a point. And the point is “Do whatever it takes to keep yourself from tripping up. Take drastic measures, if need be, to keep yourself from being scandalized in your own relationship with Christ.”
That’s what Jesus told his first disciples, and that’s what He would say to us today if He were here.
On Saturday April 26, 2003, Aron Ralston went climbing in Blue John Canyon near the Canyonlands National Park in southeastern Utah. It was to be a one-day hike, but the unthinkable happened as he used his rock-climbing gear to negotiate narrow canyons. Ralston pushed his arm into a crack in the canyon wall, and an 800-pound boulder shifted, pinning that arm.
He tried using a dull pocketknife to chip away at the boulder—without success.
He tried to rig a makeshift pulley with ropes to lift the boulder—that failed as well.
After three days, having gone through most of his three liters of water and his food, he decided to sacrifice his arm to save his life. First bending his body in order to break his wrist bone, he proceeded to use his knife to amputate his arm just below the right elbow.
Amazingly, Ralston was able to remain conscious. The 27-year-old climber then applied a makeshift tourniquet and rappelled 60 feet to the canyon floor.
“I’m not sure how I handled it,” Ralston later commented with the stump of his right arm in a sling. “I felt pain,” he said, “and I coped with it. I moved on.”
According to Sgt. Mitch Vetere in the Sheriff’s Department, Ralston would have died if he had stayed in the canyon. (Associated Press, 05-02-03; www.Preaching Today.com)
He had a will to live, and he did whatever was necessary to stay alive. Now, that’s what Christ calls us to do in our relationship with Him. He wants us to do whatever is necessary to keep from being tripped up and stuck in our journey with Him to glory!
Don’t worry about the faults of others. Take care of your own faults by humbly admitting your need of Christ and getting help from Him.
You see, our faults may not be the mistakes of inexperience, oh no. They can be much bigger problems, like a critical spirit and the pride that goes with it. And we must take care of those problems before we can even begin to hope to help somebody else with theirs.
Do you truly want to help people? Do you truly want to help the young and inexperienced grow in their relationship with Christ and in their ability to serve Him? Then don’t stop them with words of criticism, and don’t scandalize them. Instead, deal with your own faults first, and then…
SPRINKLE SOME SALT on those you are trying to help.
That is, speak words of peace and encouragement. & Help those young believers find joy in their service for Christ, because they’re going to have enough trouble as it is in this life.
Mark 9:49 Jesus says, "Everyone will be salted with fire."
All of God’s servants have to go through the purifying, fiery trials of life, and we don’t need to be adding to their trouble.
A grocery store clerk once wrote to Ann Landers, the advice-columnist, to complain that she had seen people buy “luxury” food items – like birthday cakes and bags of shrimp – with their food stamps. The writer went on to say that she thought all those people on welfare who treated themselves to such non-necessities were “lazy and wasteful.”
A few weeks later, Lander’s column was devoted entirely to people who had responded to the grocery clerk.
One woman wrote: “I didn’t buy a cake, but I did buy a big bag of shrimp with food stamps. So what? My husband had been working at a plant for fifteen years when it shut down. The shrimp casserole I made was for our wedding anniversary dinner and lasted three days. Perhaps the grocery clerk who criticized that woman would have a different view of life after walking a mile in my shoes.”
Another woman wrote: “I’m the woman who bought the $17 cake and paid for it with food stamps. I thought the check-out woman in the store would burn a hole through me with her eyes. What she didn’t know is the cake was for my little girl’s birthday. It will be her last. She has bone cancer and will probably be gone within six to eight months.” (Terrie Williams, The Personal Touch, Warner Books, 1994; www.PreachingToday.com)
We never know what other people are dealing with, and the last thing they need is somebody putting them down. Instead they need somebody to lift them up. They need somebody to come along side them and to encourage them when they are down.
Won’t YOU be that person? Won’t YOU be the encourager in somebody’s life today? Before you leave this place, say to somebody who served, “Thank you for what you did. I really appreciate it.”
In his book, Sabbath Time, Tilden Edwards tells about a family with teenage children who decided, as part of their Sabbath commitments, that they would not criticize each other on Sundays. As the months went on and they kept this commitment, they realized more and more of their children’s friends were coming over on Sundays just to hang around. No one in the family had talked about this commitment, but somehow other teenagers knew this home was a good place to be. (Tilden Edwards, Sabbath Time: Understanding and Practice for Contemporary Christians, Upper Room Books, 1992; www.PreachingToday.com)
Our Bethel Church home can also be known as a good place to be if we would keep the same kind of commitment.
Mark 9:50 "Salt is good," Jesus said, "but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other.” (NIV)
The Apostle Paul put it this way in Colossians 4: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt…” (Colossians 4:6).
You see, we truly help people not with harsh words of criticism. No. We help them with words of grace and peace, seasoned with salt.
Just a few years ago, Amy Sutherland wrote an article for the New York Times called, “What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage.” Sutherland began her article by explaining that, after 12 years of marriage, she had become dismayed that her husband still exhibited several irritating habits.
“These minor annoyances are not the stuff of separation and divorce,” she wrote, “but in sum they began to dull my love for Scott. I wanted—needed—to nudge him a little closer to perfect, to make him into a mate who might annoy me a little less, who wouldn’t keep me waiting at restaurants, a mate who would be easier to love.
“So, like many wives before me,” she said, “I ignored a library of advice books and set about improving him. By nagging, of course, which only made his behavior worse: he’d drive faster instead of slower; shave less frequently, not more; and leave his reeking bike garb on the bedroom floor longer than ever.”
Then a breakthrough came when Amy began traveling to a school for exotic animal trainers in California in order to research a book she wanted to write.
There, she “listened, rapt, as professional trainers explained how they taught dolphins to flip and elephants to paint.” Eventually it hit her that the same techniques might work on that stubborn but loveable species, the American husband.
She wrote, “The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don’t. After all, you don’t get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband.
So “back in Maine,” Amy said, “I began thanking Scott if he threw one dirty shirt into the hamper. If he threw in two, I’d kiss him. Meanwhile, I would step over any soiled clothes on the floor without one sharp word, though I did sometimes kick them under the bed. But as he basked in my appreciation, the piles became smaller.” (Amy Sutherland, “What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage,” The New York Times, 6-25-06; www. PreachingToday.com)
Do you know, that not only works for the American husband; it works for wives, for young people and just about everybody.
Like our Savior, be quick to praise even the smallest efforts, and you’ll be amazed at how people change. Most of all, you’ll be amazed at how God changes you.
