Evening Service for 4/19/2009
(Mat 5:7) Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
(Mat 5:9 NIV) Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Introduction:
One Sunday morning during announcements, the preacher said, “I need to make a correction to an announcement from last week’s bulletin. It read: The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility. It should have read: The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hospitality. Sorry, folks, we are a loving church, not a hostile one. We love hurting people.” He then went on to say, “I just have one announcement for this morning. The peacekeepers meeting scheduled for this afternoon has been canceled due to a conflict.”
WBTU:
A. Sometimes in our attempts to make amends and correct a wrong, the situation is made worse. In this example, the corrections were attempts to make right something that was wrong. Though the results were not what was desired, the idea was right.
B. For Celebrate Recovery, an important step is to make corrections in our relationships by doing some relational repair work. Two step process:
1. Forgiving those who have hurt us
2. Making amends to those we have hurt.
C. Focus on two beatitudes tonight. Read them above.
D. When we are merciful to others, we are willing to forgive them, whether they deserve it or not. When we work for peace, we make a real effort to make amends where we have wronged another, and we work to bring harmony back into that relationship.
E. We are going to look back on our lives for the purpose of evaluating, not regretting. We’ll learn how to repair the damage that others have done to us and that we have done to others.
F. Best discussed in a more intimate or one and one setting but let’s go over the principles tonight.
For instances:
Begin with forgiving others for the wrongs they have done against us.
Why should we forgive others?
1. Because God has forgiven us.
A. (Col 3:13 NIV) Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
B. (Eph 4:31 NIV) Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. (Eph 4:32 NIV) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
C. People who feel forgiven find it easier to be forgiving.
2. Because resentment doesn’t work. Resentment is unreasonable, unhelpful and unhealthy.
A. Unreasonable
1) When we are angry and resentful toward a person, we are not hurting them; we are hurting ourselves. We are the ones who are stewing, spewing, stressing, and fretting. We are the ones who are losing sleep and being distracted from the joys of life. It’s not bothering them at all.
2) If someone has hurt us, 10, 20 or 30 years ago there is a good chance they have forgotten all about it. It’s making us miserable, but they have forgotten all about it.
3) It is a waste of energy.
B. Unhelpful
1) Resentment cannot change the past, the problem, or the person who hurt us.
2) Have we ever known anyone to say, “I feel so much better being resentful?”
C. Unhealthy
1) (Job 21:23, 25 NIV) One man dies in full vigor, completely secure and at ease. Another man dies in bitterness of soul, never having enjoyed anything good.
2) Did we hear about the guy who walked into his doctor’s office and said, “I need some pills for my colitis?” The doctor asked, “Who are you colliding with now?”
3) Keep replaying the tapes over and over just leads to depression, stress, and fatigue. Nothing drains us emotionally like bitterness and resentment.
4) Blessed are the merciful… Blessed are the peacemakers.
3. Because we will need forgiveness in the future.
A. (Mark 11:25 NIV) And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."
B. (Mat 6:12 NIV) Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
C. The story is told about a man who went to John Wesley and said, “I can never forgive that person. Never.” John Wesley replied, “Then I hope you never sin. Because we all need what we don’t want to give.”
How do we forgive others?
1. Reveal our hurt
A. I don’t want to. Well, we can repress this and pretend this didn’t happen. We can ignore it and try pushing it out of the way. We can suppress it and say, “It’s no big deal.” We need to admit it.
E. We can’t love someone and be angry with them at the same time. Not true!
F. A woman in a counseling session insisted, “I forgive my parents; they did the best they could.” The more she talked, the more obvious it became that she really hadn’t forgiven them. She was angry with them, and she was denying her anger. The truth was her parents hadn’t done the best they could. None of us do the best we can. We are all imperfect and we all make mistakes. When this woman was able to admit that her parents didn’t do the best they could, then she was able to forgive them.
G. We cannot forgive hurts we will not admit to.
2. Release the offender.
A. When? As soon as possible. Once revealed, release them whether they respond in a favorable fashion or not. The ball is out of our court.
B. How often do I have to do it?
1) (Mat 18:21 NIV) Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"(Mat 18:22 NIV) Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
2) Jesus is here saying that our forgiveness must be continual. Forgiveness is not a one shot deal where we say, “I forgive you,” and it’s done. Might be every time we see them. Must forgive again until we have released the offender even if it takes 70 X 7.
C. How will I know that I have fully released an offender?
1) When we think about them and it doesn’t hurt anymore.
2) When we can pray for them and ask God’s blessing upon them.
3) May not be able to completely forget (something we shouldn’t forget), but we can release the offender and let go of the pain.
D. Is it always wise to release the offender face to face?
1) Not always. In some cases it is not even possible.
3) What do we do if we cannot get up with these people? Two techniques:
a) Empty chair technique.
b) Write a letter that we will never mail.
c) Remember to release these people at the end.
3. Replace our hurt with God’s peace.
A. This free forgiveness may start to sound unfair. These people get off Scot free. I’ve been hurt and this person suffers no consequences.
B. If this is illegal and there is a chance this person might still be doing these things then by all means report them to the authorities. Like the bible says tell them in some way and then report it to the authorities.
C. We have a government that should handle this. (Rom 13:4) For he is God’s servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God’s servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.
D. We should bring no one to court. Not necessarily. (1 Cor 6:2 NIV) Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? (1 Cor 6:6 NIV) But instead, one brother goes to law against another--and this in front of unbelievers!
E. We are talking about criminal things here not civil. Let’s be honest, most things are not criminal they are civil.
F. (Rom 14:10 NIV) You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. (Rom 14:11 NIV) It is written: "’As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ’every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.’"(Rom 14:12 NIV) So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.
G. God is going to settle the score. He will balance the books one day. Need to learn to release the offender and allow God to be in charge of settling scores. With this comes peace. (Col 3:15 NIV) Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
H. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me, and make amends for the harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.
