John 3:16 "The Perfect Father"
Good morning, and Happy Father’s Day! Today’s message is entitled "The Perfect Father." I’m not the perfect father. But what’s reassuring is that neither are any of you. I don’t say that to slam any of you, it’s just a fact. None of us are perfect fathers. We all make tons of mistakes. But, it’s a goal for many of us.
Some of us look to the secular "experts" to help us become better fathers. Some of us look to those "Christian experts" to help us.
Today, we’re going to look at one of the most familiar passages in the Bible. It’s a passage that really reveals what the perfect father looks like, because it’s focus is the perfect father. If you’re a father, this verse will give you an idea of what it means to be a good dad. It teaches us four ways our Heavenly Father relates to us.
First of all...
I. A Father Loves His Children
"For God so loved the world..."
Here’s a fascinating fact: The moment your children are born, you love them. In fact, we love them even in the womb! I used to talk to my children through my wife’s belly button! Did you guys do that?
I know that most of you men wouldn’t admit it, but you probably did the same thing.
The point is this: they haven’t done anything to earn your love, but you love them anyway. Why? Because they’re yours. And you’ll continue to love them, no matter what. Your children might disappoint you.
They might anger you and at times you might want to disown them, but you’ll always love them. I don’t think I’ve ever met a father who’s said, "I don’t love my children." Even mean fathers love their children. Here’s the problem: We don’t always express it. It must be some kind of a guy thing that stops men from saying "I love you."
Really! Have you ever noticed that? I’ve heard men say, "My wife knows I love her. I told her once when we got married." And we do that same thing with our children, except that we don’t always get those words out the first time. It’s like we assume that our children know we love them because we let them hang around the house and eat up our food and stuff.
Or we might only express our love as a reward for certain types of behavior. For example, our child might be really acting up. In fact, we are experiencing one of those moments when we wonder whose kid this really is. No way this kid came from my genes! Ever had one of those moments? We might express our love, but it goes something like this: "Honey, if you’re good I’ll take you to McDonalds and buy you a nice salad." (Gotta be healthy, you know!) So, our children grow up with the idea that our love for them is conditional. It will also teach them that if they act up long enough they’ll get a nice salad from McDonalds, but that’s another sermon. Listen, people can’t read your feelings; they can only read your actions. They can’t hear what you’re thinking; they can only hear what you say. That’s why it’s so important for a father to express his love for his children in what he says and what he does.
Our heavenly father expresses his love to us time and time again.
Even in the Garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve had sinned, God took care of them — he made clothes for them and covered their nakedness.
Throughout scripture God affirms his love for us. We know he loves because he says so. (Deuteronomy 7:7, 13; 23:5; 2 Chronicles 9:8; Isaiah 43:4; Countless Psalms)
God tells us he loves us, and he shows his love for us. His ultimate act of love was sending his son Jesus Christ into the world to die for our sins.
Maybe your father didn’t know how to express his love for you.
If so, you can be sure he regrets it. But don’t make the mistake of transferring your earthly father’s weaknesses to your heavenly father.
God loves you unconditionally. He said so, and he backs up his words with actions. Regardless of the relationship you have with your earthly father, you can have a personal, heart-to-heart relationship with your heavenly father. He loves you unconditionally, just because you’re you, just because you’re his. That’s what a father does. He loves his children. Dads, don’t forget to show your children how much you love them. And don’t forget to say those words, "I love you."
Secondly...
II. A Father Gives To His Children
Jesus said... "God so loved the world that he gave..."
What did God give to us? His son. He sent Jesus into the world to die for our sins, so that we could be forgiven and live with him forever.
That’s God’s ultimate gift to us, but it’s not the only gift he’s given us.
What has God given me, you might ask. Look around at all you have.
He’s given us our homes, our parents, our skills, our talents, our intellect. He gives us sunshine and rain, warm weather and cold weather, beautiful flowers and trees to decorate the landscape. He gives us birds to sing to us. He gives us animals and insects to clean up after us. He put a hole in the atmosphere to give all the toxins we dump into the air a place to go so we wouldn’t suffocate ourselves. God gives to us every day of our lives. He meets our needs; he answers our prayers
He tackles our problems. Our God is a giving God!
If you’re a father, there are two things you need to give to your children.
1) Your money.
2) Your time.
Both are important. An abundance of one doesn’t negate the need for the other. Your children need you to provide for them materially, and they need to for you to be there for them emotionally.
• There’s a story about a single guy who was visiting his married friend. The married man had a little boy who was playing on the floor in front of them while they talked. As they talked, the married man made an odd comment. He pointed to his son and said, "There goes my chance for ever having a boat. As soon as I get the hospital bill paid he’ll need braces, and by the time I get those paid for, he’ll want a car. When that’s paid off, it’ll be time to pay for college. By then I’ll be too old to want a boat."
What was he saying? Being a father requires sacrifice on our part.
There are some things in life we have to do without because we have a greater obligation: to provide for our children. As a father, there are sacrifices you’ll have to make. In fact, you’ve probably made lots of sacrifices already. They’re part of the job description, and part of the joy of being a father. Your children may never fully understand how much you sacrifice for them. Personally, I think that’s the way it should be. The last thing your children need to hear is, "If it weren’t for you I’d have a boat."
A father gives to his children. He gives time and he gives money.
Both are essential, and we have to be diligent to maintain a delicate balance between the two. It would be easier to be just the provider, and let the wife take care of raising the children. But, children need their father to be more than a provider. They need him to be emotionally available, too. If spending time with your father isn’t an option, here’s something to keep in mind. Your heavenly father is always available. You can call on him anytime, day or night. You can talk to him about your troubles, your fears, your dreams, and he will listen.
He is always available. A father gives. He is there for his children.
Thirdly...
III. A Father Has Expectations For His Children
John 3:16 is God’s plan of salvation.
It shows us what he does for us — he gave his son so that we can be saved — and it shows us what he expects from us:
"...that whoever believes in him..."
We have a role to play in our own salvation. God expects us to believe in him. He doesn’t expect more than we can give, but he does expect us to do what we can. We don’t have the capacity to be perfect. We don’t have the capacity to pay the price for our own sins. But we do have the capacity to believe. This is what God expects from us. A good father has certain expectations for his children, certain requirements that must be met. He isn’t unreasonable about it, he doesn’t demand more than his children can give, but he does require a certain level of responsibility from his own children.
• John Grisham’s book "The Testament" begins with a story about a man who succeeded in business beyond what most people could imagine, amassing a fortune of eleven billion dollars. Along the way, he married three times and fathered seven children. He provided for all of them financially but he was emotionally absent as a father. He never expected much of them. He gave each child a no-strings-attached gift of $5 million on their 21st birthday, and each child squandered the money. Eventually, each child wound up deep in debt, resentful of their father, eagerly waiting for him to die so they could collect their share of his will. Though this man was a success in the eyes of the world, he was a failure as a father and his children paid the price.
This story is fiction, but reflects the truth. It’s similar to the Old Testament story of Eli. Eli was a man of God, a priest who served in the temple. Though Eli he was faithful as a priest, he was a failure as a father. The sons of Eli had no respect for the law of God. They defiled sacrifices, they extorted from those who brought offerings to God, and they slept with the women who served in the temple. Eli knew about their behavior, but did nothing about it. As a result, God judged Eli. (1 Samuel 2)
A father has a responsibility to set the standard for his children.
He must say, "This is the way we live, and nothing less is acceptable."
And of course, it is the father’s responsibility to lead by example.
A father’s attitude must be "Do as I do", not merely "do as I say."
Joshua set the example for all fathers when he said...
"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 14:15)
A father expects his children to act like they belong to him.
He doesn’t demand more than they can give, and he doesn’t base his love on his child’s behavior but he does expect the child to do his part.
Just like our heavenly father expects that we do our part: we must believe in his son.
Finally...
IV. A Father Prepares His Child for the Future.
Jesus said, "...that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
God has created a great future for you and me. He is offering us eternal life. He doesn’t want us to spend eternity without him.
He wants us to live in his presence forever, and he provided a way to make that happen. He did this by sending his son, Jesus Christ, into the world to die on the cross for our sins. When we put our faith in Jesus, our sins are forgiven, and God gives us eternal life.
Christianity isn’t about man finding his own way to God. It’s about God reaching out to us through his son. God had a vision for your future.
It’s a future spent in heaven with him forever and he provided a way for you to get there. In the same way, earthly fathers need to do what they can to direct the future of their children in a way that will most benefit the child. I say this rather cautiously, because we all know examples of fathers who go overboard in this area: "You’re going to be a plumber and that’s all there is to it!" We’ve all seen fathers who try to realize their dreams vicariously through their sons. This extreme attitude is not the kind of direction I’m talking about.
Just because we have seen examples of fathers who do this the wrong way doesn’t mean we should shy away from doing it the right way. Fathers should prepare their children for the future in three primary areas:
1. A father should help his child prepare spiritually for the future by bringing them up in a Christian atmosphere, encouraging them to be involved in church, and challenging them to grow in their personal relationship with Christ.
2. A father should also help his child prepare for the future in his or her career. He should help his children identify their gifts, skills, and interests, and help them discover the career that’s best for them.
And, by the way, being a wife and mother is a career. In fact, it’s one of the most rewarding of all careers. Don’t fall prey to the world’s idea that a woman who chooses to stay home to be a wife and a mother is somehow inferior. A father should encourage his children to pursue their dreams. He should help them prepare for the challenges they will face.
He should give them his total support as enter life as an adult.
3. A father should also help his children prepare for developing relationships. A father should teach his children the kind of person to choose as friends, the kind of person to look for in a life mate. Without specific direction, they won’t know the kind of person they should marry.
Our heavenly father has prepared a future for us in heaven. Earthly fathers must help their children prepare for their future on earth.
CONCLUSION
God gives us a blueprint for fatherhood, because he is the perfect father. He loves us, he gives to us, he expects us to follow him, and he prepares a future for us. These are things we can do for our children.
Not as a tyrant, but as a gentle, loving, caring father. If your father is gone, if you didn’t have the relationship with your father that you would have wanted, you can take comfort in the fact that God is your father, and he is exactly the kind of father you want. He loves you, and he will help you experience fulfillment in this life and for all eternity, if you will put your faith in him.
