God’s Plan for Our Health
Part 4 - Our Relational Health: Focus on Forgiveness
Ephesians 4:29-32
Sermon by Rick Crandall
McClendon Baptist Church - July 27, 2008
*One year Dave Hagler was working as an umpire in a rec-baseball league in Boulder, Colorado. Unfortunately, Dave got pulled over for speeding one day. He tried to talk the officer out of giving him a ticket. Dave asked for leniency since it could make his insurance go up. But the officer was relentless and told Dave that he could take the matter to court if he didn’t like the ticket.
*Fast forward to the first game of the next baseball season. Dave was umpiring behind the plate when he recognized the policeman coming to bat. The officer also noticed Dave and asked how the whole ticket thing turned out. Dave simply replied, "You better swing at everything!" (1)
*That wasn’t very nice. Dave needed to show a little forgiveness. How about you? How are you getting along with the people in your life? The Lord wants us to have healthy relationships in life, but that can’t happen without forgiveness.
*But what is forgiveness? James Merritt tells us that it literally means "to let go" or "to send away." Forgiveness is when you release to the Lord any bitterness that you might feel you have a right to have toward someone else. It is the willingness to send both the offender and the offense away into the hands of God, and let God take care of the matter. Dr. Archibald Hart defines forgiveness as "giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me."
*We all need to be forgivers. Psychologists and ministers agree that forgiveness is the only cure for the cancer of bitterness. (2)
-If we are going to have healthy relationships, we must forgive. Even more important, God wants us to forgive and the Scripture tells us why.
1. Forgive, because your forgiveness spreads God’s grace to more people.
*Vs. 29 reminds us that all people need the grace of God in their lives.
-There Paul tells believers, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”
*The “corrupt communication” here or “unwholesome talk” would include any words that are rotten, putrefied, not fit for use, -- The sort of words we tend to use when we refuse to forgive someone. And the “benefit” the NIV mentions in this verse is grace. The root word for grace is “joy, good cheer.” So “grace” in general is something that brings joy, delight and good will. But most of all, “grace” is the merciful kindness of God that draws us to Jesus Christ and saves our souls.
*Everybody needs God’s grace! And your forgiveness can help share God’s grace. God wants us to live in such a way that we spread His grace to everyone around us. Can people see Jesus in us? Can they find His patience? His love? His forgiveness?
*Richard Wurmbrand spent fourteen years suffering for Christ in a Communist prison. And he told the story of one husband who was a picture of Jesus.
*This man was sentenced to death by the Communists. But before being executed, he was allowed to see his wife. His last words to his wife were, “You must know that I die loving those who kill me. They don’t know what they do, and my last request of you is to love them, too. Don’t have bitterness in your heart because they kill your beloved one. We will meet in heaven.”
*Those words greatly touched the secret police guard who sat in on the conversation between the two. That former Communist told Richard the story in prison, where he, the guard, had been sent for becoming a Christian. (3)
*Can people see Jesus in us? Do we remind people of the Savior? We will, if we forgive. We must forgive, because forgiveness spreads God’s grace to more people.
2. And because refusing to forgive gives pain to God’s Spirit.
*In vs. 30 Paul tells believers, “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” Refusing to forgive grieves God’s Spirit. Most of us know something about grief. Most of us have been touched by grief on some level. Grief is the reaction we have to loss. It affects us spiritually, emotionally, even physically. Grief hurts. The pain and sorrow can be intense.
*And grief isn’t just about the death of a loved one. Many types of loss bring grief:
-A marriage ends in divorce.
-A friendship falls apart.
-Someone we love moves away.
-Something we care about is stolen.
-Our first love falls for another.
-Even the loss of a pet can bring grief.
*We also have grief whenever someone hurts us. Maybe they betrayed our trust. Maybe their words cut us like a knife. Why does God allow us to go through grief? Well, we live in a world broken by sin. But God is moving His children toward a day when there will be no grief. He will wipe away all our tears. Until that day we will go through the sorrow of loss.
*But maybe our grief can help us understand God’s grief. Most people don’t think about this, but God has feelings too. Our sin brings Him sorrow. Our sin breaks His heart. Refusing to forgive grieves God’s Spirit. Are you holding on to the hurts God wants you to forgive?
*Years ago, Stuart Briscoe visited a mission in a remote, tribal area. Stuart spent the night in the hut of the local "witch" doctor. Overhead he noticed a variety of small objects hanging from the ceiling. The missionary told Stuart that each object represented some offense the villagers had committed against the witch doctor or his family. If someone spoke unkindly of the witch doctor, he would hang up an object representing that person’s unkind words. Forgiveness was not an option. In fact, the witch doctor hung those objects from the ceiling so that as he lay in bed each night, he could count the objects and remind himself of each person’s offense. (4)
*Old grievances may not be hanging from your ceiling, but are they hanging in your heart? If you refuse to forgive, you are grieving God’s Spirit. We don’t want to hurt God! Cut your hurts loose and give them over to the Lord. Be a forgiver and know that He will ease your pain.
3. The third reason to forgive is because none of us is perfect.
*Paul surely wasn’t speaking to perfect people in vs. 31&32. There he said, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.”
*Paul said, “Be kind to ONE ANOTHER . . . forgiving ONE ANOTHER.” Paul knew that all of us would need forgiveness at times, because none of us is perfect. Now by the grace of God, believers, we are heading toward perfection, but we’re not there yet! One reason for us to forgive is because hopefully we are wise enough to understand that sometimes the shoe is going to be on the other foot. We will need to be forgiven.
*Dietrich Bonhoeffer was one of the great Christian heroes of the 20th Century. Born in Germany in 1904, he grew up to become a devoted Christian, author, professor, musician and pastor. Bonhoeffer’s opposition to the Nazis and support for the Jews made him a target for Hitler’s secret police. In the Spring of 1943, Bonhoeffer was thrown into prison for the crime of trying to help a group of Jews escape to Switzerland. He was hanged in the concentration camp at Flossenbürg on April 9, 1945, one of four members of his immediate family to die at the hands of the Nazis.
*On the day he died, Bonhoeffer, led morning prayers for his fellow prisoners and was soon taken to the gallows. A British captive recorded his parting words: “This is the end -- for me, the beginning of life.”
*He was a great Christian, but here’s something Bonhoeffer wrote about his sinfulness and ours: “If my sinfulness appears to me to be in any way smaller or less detestable in comparison with the sins of others, I am still not recognizing my sinfulness at all.” (5)
*The only perfect person who ever lived was Jesus Christ! None of us is perfect. All of us are going to need forgiveness. That’s a good reason for us to forgive.
4. Another reason to forgive is because we have God’s power at work in our hearts.
*Christians, vs. 31 reminds us that God is at work in our hearts. Paul said, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.” Let all of these bad things “be put away.” In other words: Let these things “be put away” by God. Let them be “raised up, lifted up carried away. God’s Word uses the passive voice in this verse to remind us that God is working in our hearts to transform the way we live.
*God’s goal is for us to grow into all we can be in the Lord. As Paul said in vs. 13-15, “Till we all come to the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness by which they lie in wait to deceive, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head -- Christ.”
*God’s will for us is spiritual growth, and a big part of that growth is forgiveness. God wants His children to be forgivers, because He is a forgiver. As Chuck Swindoll once said, “We are most like beasts when we kill. We are most like men when we judge. We are most like God when we forgive.” (6)
*God’s will for us is to grow, but we cannot grow on our own. We must have God’s help. And He can give us amazing power to forgive. It is certainly possible for our hearts to be changed!
*Author and student leader Josh McDowell wrote of the love and forgiveness he found for his own dad. Listen to part of his testimony:
(My dad) “epitomized everything I hated. He was the town drunk. My high school friends would make jokes about him making a fool of himself around town. Sometimes when we had company, I would tie Dad up in the barn and tell them he had to go on an important call.”
*When Josh became a Christian, God’s grace transformed his hatred for his father into love. Shortly after getting saved, Josh was injured in a car accident. His dad came to visit him in his hospital room. At one point as they were talking together, Dad broke down and said, "Josh, I’ve been the worst kind of father to you. How can you love a man like me?"
*Josh answered “Dad -- six months ago I couldn’t. But now, through Jesus Christ, I can love you.” Josh explained what God’s grace had done in his life. And he told his dad about the cross of Jesus Christ.
*Before leaving that hospital room, Josh McDowell’s father had committed his life to Jesus Christ. He was a changed man! Scores of people who saw the change in his life also came to know Jesus Christ. A year later this changed man died at peace with God and at peace with his son. (7)
*That’s a testimony to the power of God’s grace -- the power at work in the life of every believer -- the power to forgive. We must forgive because we have God’s power at work in our hearts.
5. But also forgive because Jesus gives us the perfect pattern of forgiveness.
*As Paul wrote in vs. 32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.” How did Jesus forgive us? His forgiveness is undeserved, unlimited and unending. His forgiveness is compassionate, costly and complete. Jesus forgives us sacrificially, lovingly, patiently, repeatedly, eternally!
*Every person in this world deserves eternal punishment for our sins. But God loves us and sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins. “He humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.” (Phil 2:8)
*Jesus Christ gave His blood on the cross, so that we might live forever. He died on that Cross for you! Three days later he rose from the dead! And now, if you will trust in Jesus as Savior and Lord, you will receive the forgiveness that we all desperately needed. You will be able to say what Paul said in Eph 1:7. “In Jesus we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.”
*But know this: God calls us to forgive even as we have been forgiven. Again in vs. 32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.”
*Chris Carrier has one of the best testimonies of Christian forgiveness I have ever seen. Chris grew up in Coral Gables, Florida. He was abducted when he was just 10 years old. Chris’ kidnapper was angry with the boy’s family. He burned him with cigarettes, stabbed him numerous times with an ice pick, then shot him in the head and left him to die in the Everglades.
*Amazingly, Chris survived, though he lost sight in one eye. No one was ever arrested, but in the late 90’s a man confessed to the crime. Chris had become a student minister and went to see him. He found David McAllister, a 77-year-old ex-convict, frail and blind, living in a North Miami Beach nursing home.
*Chris began visiting often, reading to McAllister from the Bible and praying with him. His ministry opened the door for McAllister to receive Jesus as Savior and Lord. No arrest was ever made. After 22 years, the statute of limitations was long past.
*Chris later talked about forgiving the man who tortured and almost killed him. Chris said, “While many people can’t understand how I could forgive David McAllister. -- From my point of view I couldn’t not forgive him. If I’d chosen to hate him all these years, or spent my life looking for revenge, then I wouldn’t be the man I am today, the man my wife and children love, the man God has helped me to be.” (8)
*There is a man following the Lord’s perfect pattern of forgiveness. Are you? How are you getting along with the people in your life? The Lord wants us to have healthy relationships with each other, but that can’t happen without forgiveness.
*Remember that forgiveness means "letting go, sending away." Forgiveness is releasing to the Lord any bitterness you might feel you have a right to have toward someone else. It is the willingness to send both the offender and the offense away into the hands of God, and let God take care of the matter. Forgiveness is "giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me." Will you do that today? If we are going to have healthy relationships, we must forgive.
*And have you received the forgiveness only God can give? God loves you. His Son Jesus Christ died on the cross for you and rose from the dead. He will surely forgive all of your sins, if you will turn to Jesus and receive Him as Savior and Lord. You will be forgiven by God. And you can be a forgiver too.
1. Everybody’s Normal Till You Get To Know Them, John Ortberg, 2003, p.158
(Found in “In Other Words - June2007 #2 - by Dr. Raymond McHenry, - 6130 Barrington ~ Beaumont, Texas 77706 (800) 553-4697 www.iows.net)
2. Christianglobe.com sermon - “Doing Right When You Have Been Done Wrong” by James Merritt - Eph 4:31-32
3. SermonCentral illustration - SOURCE: Michael G. Moriarty, The Perfect 10: The Blessings of Following God’s Commandments in a Post Modern World, pp. 141-142.
4. Jill Briscoe, HeartStrings (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 1997). [Original illustration at this number was a duplicate of HolwickID #2070] * Jill Briscoe - Dynamic Preaching, www.sermons.com - Found at: http://www.thecorner-stone.org/zGoe-Gri.aspx
5. SermonCentral illustration contributed by: Jim Luthy
6. We are most like God when we forgive. The Tale Of The Tardy Oxcart Charles R. Swindoll, Word, p. 216. (Found in Cross & Crown sermon “Model Prayer 1 - Spirit” by James McCullen - Matt 6:9-13)
7. Josh McDowell, Evidence That Demands a Verdict (Arrowhead Springs, California: Campus Crusade for Christ, 1972), p. 374. (Found in ChristianGlobe.com sermon “The House of Hope” by Curtis Lewis - Hosea 2:14-20)
8. Leadership Journal Spring 1998, Vol. XIX, No. 2, p. 73 (Found in Cross & Crown sermon “Model Prayer 1 - Spirit” by James McCullen - Matt 6:9-13)
