New Habits for a New Year
Part 3: Training Your Tongue to Work God’s Way
Ephesians 4:25-32
Sermon by Rick Crandall
McClendon Baptist Church - Feb. 1, 2009
*Power Point Introduction:
SLIDE 1 (Phrases in sequence): “Got a problem with your tongue?” “You don’t think so?” “Are you sure?”
SLIDE 2 (Phrases in sequence): “It wasn’t me!” “That’s not mine.” “I’m going to be working late tonight.” “Did you hear about?” “Don’t repeat this, but.” “I probably shouldn’t say this, but.” “I’m feeling under the weather today so I won’t be in to work.” “I hate you!” “Shut up!” “Can’t you do anything right?” “The check’s in the mail.” “Don’t tell my mom.” “I can’t stand them.” “You idiot.”
SLIDE 3: “I don’t have a problem with my tongue.”
*But we do have problems with our tongues. We have all kinds of problems with our tongues, but Christians, we can do better. By God’s grace we can start new habits in our speech. You can train your tongue to work God’s way. Let’s look into the Word of God and see how.
1. First: Establish credibility with an honest tongue.
*God wants us to have honest tongues. We see this in vs. 25: “Therefore, putting away lying, each one speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.”
-Don’t lie. It’s one of the Ten Commandments.
-And it’s one of the first ones we break. “He hit me first!” “She started it!” “I didn’t break it.”
*Gary Huckaby tells about the time he caught his little girl, Nikki, eating jelly out of the jelly jar. She was about 3 or 4 years old at the time. And Dad asked her, “Nikki, are you eating out of the jelly jar?” “No sir,” she answered.
*“Are you sure you are not eating out of the jelly jar?” (Church, she had jelly all over her face, on her fingers, and in her hair!) -- But again she said, “No sir, I’m not eating jelly out of the jar.” (1)
*We learn to lie at a very young age. But it turns out that dishonesty is a very serious problem, and not just because it breaks one of the Ten Commandments. -Dishonesty is a serious problem, because all relationships are built on trust, and trust cannot be built on a lie. Therefore, (Christians) putting away lying, each one speak truth with his neighbor, for we are all parts of one Body. Establish credibility with an honest tongue.
2. And eliminate the trash.
*This is the 2nd thing to do: eliminate the trash talk. Take out the trash.
-As we see in vs. 29: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” That word “corrupt” means worthless and rotten.
*Then, vs. 31 says, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.”
-The “evil speaking” there is where we get our word “blasphemy.”
-It’s evil speaking, slander, abusive language that hurts people and God.
*God says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth.” “Let all evil speaking be put away from you.” Take out the trash -- like cussing. How long has it been since you said a cuss word?
*Preachers don’t hear a lot of cussing, because most people don’t cuss around the preacher. I don’t think I’ve heard more than 20 cuss words in the last 10 years, except on TV, of course. People just don’t cuss around the preacher.
*But sometimes Christians do fall into the bad habit of cussing. That’s a problem, because it masks who we are as believers. People need to see Christ in you the hope of glory, but they probably won’t, if you have a foul mouth.
*Well, you may not have cussed in 30 years, but what about gossip? Uh oh.
-Paul warned Timothy about some of the women who were in danger of gossiping. 1 Timothy 5:13 in the New Living Translation tells us, “They are likely to spend their time gossiping from house to house, getting into other people’s business and saying things they shouldn’t.”
*What about murmuring and complaining all the time? The Book of Jude warns about corrupt teachers who complained all the time.
-The Living Bible says:, “These men are constant gripers, never satisfied, doing whatever evil they feel like; they are loudmouthed “show-offs,” and when they show respect for others, it is only to get something from them in return.” (Jude 1:16)
*But God says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth.” “Let all evil speaking be put away from you.” The idea is to pick it up and throw it away. Take out the trash. And Christian, if you need some help getting started, think back to the fact that people don’t cuss around the preacher.
*Robert Morgan used that fact to help a 16-year-old stop cussing. The young man had been in a lot of trouble, but he was a new Christian. And Robert said:
Nothing has pleased me more than watching him grow in the Lord. He has been reading his Bible each day, praying, witnessing, and trying to clean up his old habits. The one he’s had the most trouble with has been his profanity.
The other day as I visited with him, he brought up his cussing. Every once in a while, he admitted, a profane word flies out of his mouth. “Give me an example,” I told him. “Go ahead and cuss for me.” He seemed shocked that I would suggest such a thing, but I insisted. “Let ’er fly,” I told him.
“I can’t do that,” he said with embarrassment. “Sure you can. Go ahead and let loose.” “I’m not going to do it,” he said. “I can’t.”
I kept pressing him, but when I saw that I couldn’t get a single cuss word out of him, I asked him why he was being so stubborn about it. “Why are you refusing to do what I ask?” “Because you’re my pastor,” he said. “I can’t cuss in front of you.”
Then the pastor asked him: “If you’re ashamed to cuss in my presence, why is it that you aren’t ashamed to cuss in the Lord’s presence? He is always with you. He’s always present at your side.” (2)
*That young man hasn’t cussed since.
-If you want some help taking out the trash, consciously focus on the fact that Jesus Christ is right there with you. That ought to help.
*Whether it’s cussing, gossip, complaining, ripping people apart or something else, we need to eliminate the trash talk.
3. And start using your tongue to encourage people.
*Vs. 29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”
*“Edification” there means “building people up.” So the NIV says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
-The New Living Translation says, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”
*God wants us to use our tongues to encourage and build each other up.
-Are you doing that? It can make an amazing difference in people’s lives.
*Tim Hansel told the story of a Christian phys-ed teacher. One day out of the blue a he received a letter from a former student. The student’s name was Lou and he wanted his old teacher to know the impact that he had made on his life.
*Lou reminded his former teacher about the first day of class. They had to run a 600 yard race and Lou didn’t want to do it. After all, he always came in last no matter how hard he ran. But this class was different, even though once again he came in dead last. Lou said, “I remember you running along side of me that last 100 yards yelling, ‘Good effort, Lou! Great effort! Absolutely magnificent.’ I felt like I’d won the Olympic Gold Medal for the marathon”
*Lou’s teacher was the first person who had ever encouraged him. More than ten years had gone by. Lou went on to study journalism in college, even though one of the instructors told him he had no writing ability. But Lou said, “All through those four years I held your example in my mind. I looked for possibilities and wondered often how you always managed to be so positive all the time. Then five years ago I met Jesus, and figured you out.” (3)
*Christian, start using your tongue to encourage people.
4. And emphasize the grace of God in your life.
*In vs. 29: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”
*One of the most important things we can add to our conversation is testimony about God’s grace.
-Start talking about God’s goodness and grace in your life. Make it a habit. -Colossians 4:6 in the NIV says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
*I like this testimony from a Marine named Rick. He was a 27-year-old mortar man in the first Gulf War. This was first written in a journal Rick kept:
-“I’ve been out in the world for 7 years now. I’m just now beginning to realize that God has been here with me the whole time. I was alone because I wanted to be. -- I’m realizing things I never did before.
*I long to live right, to be a part of God’s world. I’ve been doing the wrong thing for so long it seems like the only thing I’m good at. I’m afraid to do what’s right for fear I may slip and do it wrong. Where are the rules? I know where they are. The rules and directives are in the Bible. I have carried life’s owner’s manual with me for the past 7 years and just now have started to read it. -- Not only read but to understand.
*Maybe this cruise is a blessing. This could be very spiritual awakening. I pray for it! I love God and I love the life He’s given me. I am starting to realize what matters. Money doesn’t matter. Beautiful women don’t matter. Loving a woman that loves you back matters. Raising a family with your wife matters.
*I went the wrong way at the fork in the road. I’m groping back -- It was hard for me to find the right road. I, like a fool, followed a false path that deceived me and lead me nowhere. This was the easiest path for me. The devil controlled my life for so long. He disguised himself as a bottle of beer or whiskey, a joint of marijuana or a pill or anything that gave me a false good feeling. I’m getting good feelings from something else now. I find myself reassured each night as I rest.
*God came to me last night, September 22, 1990. He came in a dream, and showed me my life as I’ve been living it. It was a nightmare I couldn’t wake from. It was so real, so real only God could be the sender of the message. He showed me that I was throwing myself into a wall, destroying myself!
*I needed to wake up but couldn’t. I had to want to. I broke down begging God to make it end. I woke up! I woke up! I went to church twice today and the Chaplain told me (without knowing what he’d done) that God is telling me to wake up from the nightmare that has been my life. I know that life will be different from this point forward. I’ve been grasping for the truth. -- I’ve found it! Thanks be to God!” (4)
*Your testimony may not be that dramatic, but please know this: If you know Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, God has given you a testimony every bit as miraculous as Sgt. Rick’s. And God wants you to talk about it. On top of that, God shows His goodness and grace in your life every day. Start talking about it.
*Emphasize the grace of God in your life.
5. And examine the source of your speech.
*You have to start with your heart. God wants you to speak with a Christ-like heart, the kind of heart we see in vs. 32, where Paul said, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.”
*Speak with a Christ-like heart. But you can’t have a Christ-like heart, if you don’t have Christ. What’s on the inside is going to come out.
*Jesus made this point when He said,
35. “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.
36. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.
37. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matt 12:35-37)
*The best way to change your tongue is to change your heart.
-And nobody can change your heart like Jesus Christ.
-He will give you a brand-new heart, a brand-new life, if you will receive Him as Savior and Lord.
*James, Elaine, Vickie and I got to go to part of the state evangelism conference in Ruston last Tuesday. Charles Thornton from Texas was one of the preachers. God is using his life in a fantastic way to help reach people in apartment complexes. Their ministry moves CARES Teams into complexes to build relationships and start Bible studies on-site. Hundreds of people have been saved in metro-Dallas, and now the ministry is expanding to Atlanta and other cities.
*Charles closed by reminding us that people all around us are hurting, and they need to know that God loves them. He used the illustration of a visit he made to his aunt’s house. Charles was a young man at the time, but it had been years since he had seen his aunt and uncle.
*He said that they lived way out in the country. I mean waaaay out in the country. Charles said that when his aunt put carpet in the bathroom, she liked it so much she ran it all the way on up to the house!
*Well she was in the kitchen cooking. And Charles began to look around. There in the hall, he saw many pictures of family members he hadn’t seen for years. Then, Charles was surprised to see his own picture on the wall. He mentioned it to his aunt. And he said, she stepped out of the kitchen, and wiped her hands on her apron. Then she reached up, put her hands on his cheeks, and asked, “Did you think I had forgotten you? I have never forgotten you. I will always love you.”
*Those are the kinds of words we need to say to each other. But Charles reminded us that there are lost and hurting people all around us. They need to see God’s Hands reaching out to them. And they need to hear God say to them, “Did you think I had forgotten you? I have never forgotten you. I will always love you.”
*“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) Jesus Christ loved you enough to take all of the punishment for your sins. He loved you enough to die on the cross for you. And Jesus rose again from the dead.
*Right now He offers forgiveness and eternal life to everyone who will turn to Him and put their trust in Him. Will you do it? It will change your life forever. And it should certainly change the way you talk. So Christian, don’t let there be a disconnect between your tongue and your heart. Train your tongue to work God’s way. Make the commitment today as we go to God in prayer.
1. SermonCentral illustration contributed by: Gary Huckaby
2. Morgan, Robert J., Real Stories for the Soul, (Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson Publishers) c2000
3. Tim Hansel. YOU GOTTA’ KEEP DANCIN’. (Carmel, NY: Guideposts, 1985), p. 135. (Found in ChristianGlobe.com sermon “You Can Face Your Giant” by King Duncan - 1 Sam 17:1-58)
4. Contributed by Dr. John Bardsley (Found in ChristianGlobe.com sermon “When Jiggling Wires Is Not Good Enough” by King Duncan - John 4:1-26 - 2005)
