How to receive New Wine in 09
Step 3 – Tame the wild thing!
Opening Video Illustration:
After Clip ask these questions
1. Have you ever insulted someone before? What happened?
a. Did it resolve the problem?
2. Have you ever been insulted? How did it make you feel?
a. Read: I Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
3. Why is it so hard to speak only encouraging words? How does encouragement and put downs affect other people?
4. What are some practical ways you can learn restraint when you’re tempted to say rude or mean things?
5. What will you have to do to change your hurtful put-downs into words of encouragement?
Thesis: The wild thing which needs tamed in the church is the reckless use of our tongues toward others. The tongue has done more destruction to our society than terrorist’s attacks. It has been one of the most powerful forces stopping revival from happening in this nation. It is one of the prime reasons we lack an out pouring of God’s Holy Spirit in most churches today.
Opening Illustration: Have the tongue in the box covered. Ask people to guess what powerful force is in the box.
Tell them this has been one of the most powerful forces in the world that has stopped revival from happening. Ask people to guess what’s in it!
Texts: James 3:1-10
1Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.
Proverbs 12:18: 18Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
James 1:26: 26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
Introduction:
Words have been responsible for starting wars and also ending wars. Words either unite people or divide people in this world. Words of individuals will determine that persons future and life. Words of individuals will affect other people’s attitudes and emotions. Words the little sounds that spill out of our mouths everyday impacting the world around us. These sounds which flow out of the heart and into the mouth and out into the air carry an amazing amount of power. I believe that words are the most powerful force in the universe. Mike Murdoch has this to say about the power of words:
Words created the world Genesis 1:1-31; Words create your world Proverbs 18:21.
Jesus said that your words reveal what kind of heart you possess “…for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh” Luke 6:45. Jesus said words can move mountains Mark 11:23 (Pages 121,122).
The truth is everyone of your words matter, they influence someone either negatively or positively. How many times have you heard someone say, “I wish I would never have said that!” Our text in James today addresses the issue of the uncontrolled words of the tongue. We see this dilemma of words everyday in our lives. We hear people say things throughout our day. We then respond to them and create perceptions about the person speaking. We listen to the radio and the power of words influence us, we listen to CD’s or tapes and the power of words are at work, we watch TV and the power of words are trying to influence us.
Just think of all the political adds we have had to endure over the last few months because of the election. We know that words influence others or the political campaigns would not spend millions of dollars to put them on the air. We had to endure candidates ripping on the others why so they could influence you to vote for them. I watched the news one night and the news decided to take a few campaign adds to find out how accurate they were in their comments. It was interesting to note that some campaigns distorted the truth about the candidate. The power of words either creates a positive picture or a negative picture. I honestly do not think that words are neutral – they always leave an impression on the person hearing the phrases.
Remember this same force is at work within the church and it has caused as much or even more devastation as the terrorists attacks this week.
Quote from leading pastor of a great revival: He said revival will come to the church when the people of God get the revelation of the tongue. He stated, “When people begin to curve their tongue and the curses stop against their church, their ministers, their choir, their leadership, and other peoples families and homes then God will unleash the revival of the revelation of blessings.” But I add not before we receive the revelation of the tongue and repent and change.
This force has destroyed more marriages and families than the recent bombings did. It is a deadly force and each of us needs to understand how lethal our tongues can be when they are out of control.
T.S. - Today I want to focus on the power of words and learn a lesson from James on the importance of making sure our words are always bridled – always kept in check.
I. The tongue is the most destructive force on the earth and it has destroyed many churches, relationships, families, marriages and it has taken people’s lives.
a. Words that flow from your tongue cut deeper than a knife into people’s hearts and minds.
i. I have counseled more people who have been devastated by the words of another person. It has affected them emotionally, physically, and relationally. I have seen people give up because of people’s harsh words.
1. Proverbs 18:21 states, “death and life are in the power of the tongue.”
2. Some of you do not believe that you can speak life or death to others.
a. But you can and you have.
b. I pray right now that God would bring back to your memory the times when you have done this so you can repent and change.
ii. I have watched and observed the tongue literally destroy people’s lives.
1. With statements like these:
a. “You are worthless!’
b. “You are stupid!”
c. “Your lack of faith has made you sick!”
d. “Your lack of faith has made you poor!”
e. “You must be perfect or God does not love you!’
f. “You are a loser!”
g. “You cannot do anything right!”
h. “It’s all your fault!”
i. “I wish you were never born!”
j. “I hate you!”
k. “It’s their fault that I am angry!”
l. “Our marriage takes so much work. We must not be right for each other.”
m. “You are the one responsible for all our problems!’
n. “You will never change!”
o. “You should never have been born!”
p. “You don’t need to go to church!’
q. “You don’t have to tithe!”
r. “You don’t have to obey the Ten Commandments!”
s. “You can’t do anything right!”
i. Proverbs 12:18 “…reckless words pierce like a sword.”
iii. I have heard and read stories of people committing suicide because of the tongues of others.
1. I have watched others use their tongues to lead people away from Jesus and his word. All the time saying ‘I speak for God!”
2. I have observed people misquote Scripture and deceive people and eventually I have seen them lead by others to their destruction.
3. I have watched and observed people misuse the name of the Lord with their evil tongues way to often in the church.
a. All the time breaking one of the 10 Commandments.
b. “Thou shalt not use the name of the Lord thy God in vain!”
iv. Don’t underestimate the power of your tongue. It’s usually quick to destroy and slow to build others up. The Bible states that this should not be.
b. Friends we need to take a reality check and check our tongues and evaluate if they are building others up or tearing others down.
i. I believe most people would say that they want to live a blessed life.
ii. They want revival in their church and community.
iii. But the problem is their tongue is into sin and it opposes revival.
iv. I have had people try to justify to me that their sinful tongue is just who they are and they cannot change the way they are.
v. Some have even said “God made me this way?” the gay community has picked up on this same lie and they now justify their sinful lifestyle by saying,” God made me this way.”
1. Let me speak to everyone who tries to justify sin with this lie, “No he did not-He is a holy God and he does not make people sinful – people chose to be sinful.”
2. James 1:13-18 13When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. 17Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.
3. Friends the untamed tongue is sin in action.
a. For many this sin has developed in your life because you accept the lie that says, “You cannot change because God made you this way!”
b. Let me say it again, “Go did not make you to sin you choose to sin!”
4. Backus notes, “Many people believe that we just sin and that’s all there is to it. You may shrug and say, “I’m just a sinner an I can’t help myself.” But you can help yourself. There is psychological dynamic underlying sinful behavior. By changing your thinking (an act of will), you can change your behavior. Sometimes you may you may want to close the door on solutions that require some hard work on your part. You may prefer to sit back and wait for God to push some miraculous “holy” button within you, then, presto, all your troubles will be over. This will never happen. Every morning when you wake up, you with the same behaviors, good or bad, that you exhibited the day before. Unless you’ve done something about them” (24).
5. So are you sincere about dealing with your tongue of fire? Your tongue of destruction?
T.S. - Many of us recognize that we fit the bill of having a wild tongue in our lives, but we do not know how to deal with it. Let me assume some of you have said, “Yes I want delivered, but how do I change?”
Well here are seven things to do to start the process of taming your tongue.
II. Seven Steps to controlling our tongues.
a. We need to stop – walk - pray – and mediate before we respond to other people’s tongues or to a given situation.
i. Have you ever had, “Hot headed responses of the tongue?”
1. Emotions take over! Anger speaks through our tongues cutting, ripping, tearing, apart another person’s life or predicament.
2. Our words ignite a mouth-grenade onto another and then we are left to pick up the pieces and to put them back together.
3. Or have we found ourselves after hurling our mouth -grenade been responded to with mouth-grenades being thrown right back at us.
ii. Have they ever resolved the problem? Or have they made everything worse?
1. 9 times out of 10 it’s worse.
iii. Psalm 39:1-11 David talks about this dilemma of how to handle out tongues:
1. 1I said, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence.” 2But when I was silent and still, not even saying anything good, my anguish increased. 3My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue: 4“Show me, O LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. 5You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath. Selah 6Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro: He bustles about, but only in vain; he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it. 7“But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you. 8Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools. 9I was silent; I would not open my mouth, for you are the one who has done this. 10Remove your scourge from me; I am overcome by the blow of your hand.11You rebuke and discipline men for their sin;you consume their wealth like a moth—each man is but a breath. Selah
a. Just remember who we are answerable too. The Lord!
b. Just remember one day we will see Him face to face! Yes, God!
c. In the comparison of time it’s not worth blowing our relationship with the Lord over a fleeting second in time. Our relationship with Him is the most important relationship to maintain.
iv. So -STOP- meditate, pray, think calmly and respond appropriately as the Lord directs.
1. Never be directed by your sinful nature. This is called SELF:
a. S = Sinner
b. E = Elevating
c. L = Life
d. F = Foolishly
2. Also called the EGO:
a. E = Edging
b. G = God
c. O = Out
i. We must nail our EGO to the cross and let it be crucified.
v. Remember we need to manage the tongue by learning to solve the problem by Stopping, Walking, Praying and Thinking calmly through the situation.
1. It is always wise to delay “Hotheaded responses!”
2. We must learn to use “Coolheaded responses!”
a. A tongue cooled off by cool refreshing living water of Jesus!
b. The second step in this process is to ask the question, “Why are they speaking to me like this or doing what there doing?”
i. Get the facts do the research.
1. Roman 7:15: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
2. Job 42:3-6: 3You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.4“You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’5My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.6Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”
a. Seek to get understanding from the Lord.
b. Learn to walk in another’s shoes. See what they see.
c. Let God reveal it to you!
3. Proverbs 3:5 –8: 5Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding; 6in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.7Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. 8This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
4. Proverbs 15:21”Folly delights a man who lacks judgment,
but a man of understanding keeps a straight course.”
5. Proverbs 23:23 “Buy the truth and do not sell it;
get wisdom, discipline and understanding.”
ii. Ask the Lord for wisdom to understand what motivated them to say what they said.
iii. Make sure it’s not a misunderstanding on your part.
iv. Learn to look at the situation with empathy rather than vindication.
v. All too often people often make judgments or take actions without really knowing enough about the situation.
c. The third step is - ask yourself “What do I want to achieve from making this remark with my tongue?”
i. Search your heart.
1. I Corinthian 11:28 “A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup.”
2. II Corinthians 13:5 “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?”
ii. What’s you motive- Pride-Ego-vindication-revenge-to inflict pain on another? To get even? To put someone down so you feel better?
d. The fifth step is look at the consequences and weigh the value of the relationship in light of God’s eternal plan for people’s lives.
i. What could happen to this person and to your relationship.
e. The Fourth step is let the Lord reveal to you a Godly solution to the problem or situation
i. This takes patience and discipline.
ii. Bienvenn tell us, “When it comes to instruction on how we should speak to one another there is one verse in the Bible that says it all: ‘Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it give grace to those who hear’ (Eph 4:29) (47).”
iii. Sometimes if we have nothing good to say then we should say nothing!
iv. The idea here is not words of evil, no words of destruction, no words of torture, nothing that is birthed in hell.
1. You know 4 letter words!
2. You know name calling!
3. You know threats!
4. You know teasing!
5. You know put downs!
6. You know slander remarks!
f. The sixth step is to choose what to do and do it with the Lord’s direction.
i. Follow the Matthew 18 Principle (See handout)
g. The seventh step is evaluate the results.
i. After the encounter – learn from it.
1. Learn from the mistakes you made.
2. Remember what you did right and keep doing it right.
3. If the results are bad – Bring others in to help correct and to restore the relationship.
Conclusion:
The choice to change lies within us. We must choose to tame the tongue. We must choose blessings over cursing. We must choose life over death. We must choose revival over decay. We must choose edification over destruction.
The uncontrolled words of the tongue which we called “The Wild Thing” has the ability to destroy with lethal force a church, a country, a relationship, a family, a marriage and yes even a life.
Words that flow from your tongue cut deeper than a knife into others hearts and minds.
Don’t underestimate the power of your tongue. It’s usually quick to destroy and slow to build others up. The Bible states that this should not be.
James wants us to understand and comprehend that this little thing that controls our speech and words is a force that needs to be controlled at all times.
Friends we need to take a reality check and check our tongues and evaluate if they are building others up or tearing others down.
