LESSON 4
10 TERMITES THAT CAN & WILL DESTROY YOUR HOME:
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Eph. 5: 21-31
The Devil is out to destroy our homes.
Not just our homes but each of us that are born again believers.
You say , you want proof of this.
1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
Never before has the traditional family unit, as we know it, been under such a vicious attack.
Folks I said this back in the 80’s when I did this series on the home.
It is far worse today than I ever imagined it could be.
Today we are finding same sex marriages.
We find also that they can adopt our children.
We are finding they have more rights than we have.
Nationwide, the divorce rate is above 50% by now.
God made Adam & Eve.
Not Adam & Steve or Mary & Lisa.
God said if a man leave his father& mother, & shall cleave unto his wife.
Nothing about man & man or woman & woman.
Not God’s plan & never will be.
God does not recognize that nor will He bless that mess.
They have no rights.
They are not normal.
They are sick.
Thus it should not be allowed by the laws of man.
They should not be able to adopt our children.
If He allowed this then tell me why He destroyed 2 cities because of it.
You can’t even find a trace of those cities today.
We have an idea where they are, but God took it out completely.
What causes this breakdown of the family?
What is behind this rising rate of the broken home?
PLEASE NOTE:
1)A successful marriage are built on purpose.
You have a garden, on purpose you have to take care of it or the weeds will take over.
The marriage you have to on purpose take care of it, & keep the Devil out.
2)It takes 2 to make a marriage to work.
It will take 2 to break the marriage up.
Both have to give, not take.
3)If you have a weakness in your marriage.
GET HELP BY GODLY COUNSEL
If you carefully, you will notice “TERMITES” working beneath the surface.
They are eating away at the family unit.
They may seem small, yet great damage is done to the home if these “termites” are not dealt with.
These “termites”, as we call them, hide beneath the surface.
What are they doing, you ask?
They are doing their destructive work.
They are eating at the foundation of our homes.
Even worse, many don’t even know they are there.
Let us be on guard for these 10 Termites that can destroy our home.
1)DIVISION OVER CHILDREN:
Even the blessing & the gifts God gives us, our children.
Can be a termite to help destroy the home.
Go to Genesis 25: 21-28
Notice Genesis 25:23 And the LORD said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.
Now look at the problem in this verse
Genesis 25:28 And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob.
I see a termite folks.
This passage deals with a divided home.
Rebekah united with her son Jacob in a plot against the father Isaac & his son Esau.
Jesus tells us in, Mark 3:25 “And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.”
In English the house will fall.
Just like the little termite out to destroy the house.
This termite is out to destroy your home.
There is no room for favorites in a Christian home.
Let me make 2 important statements.
A)Do Not Disagree in Front of Your children:
Make it a practice never to disagree in front of the children.
Make sure they are not even where they can hear you.
Children, a gift from God, they will manipulate the parents one against the other.
Hey, they will adopt the strategy of “DIVIDE & CONQUER”.
They are good at it.
You don’t even have to teach them this method.
If you don’t watch it, the children “God’s gift to us” they will run the home & you won’t know it.
B)Never Go Against What Your Mate Says:
Parents, it is very important that you both stand together in you dealings with your children.
Wife, if your husband tells your children no to something.
Makes them do something.
Even punishes them.
You don’t like it, or like the action he took.
Stay quite about it; take it to the bed room when all is at rest.
Husband, if you’re Wife tells your children no to something.
Makes them do something.
Even punishes them.
You don’t like it, or like the action he took.
Stay quite about it; take it to the bed room when all is at rest.
A Quick note here:
If they come to you & say mom says its ok if.
Tell them you will talk to mom & give them a decision later.
Then go to the mate & ask if this was so.
Careful children, “God’s gift to us”, are very good at getting between, & manipulating.
Not careful this little “TERMITE” can cause great damage to the home.
2)MONEY PROBLEMS:
Many of the disagreements in the home are related to finances.
Every husband & wife should covenant that they will not argue about money.
Here are some guide lines will aid you as you deal with the potential “termite” problem of money.
It is hard to believe that a piece of paper could cause such great problems in the home.
Well if “God’s gift” to us children can do it. Then why can’t a piece of paper called money do it.
They are “termites” they don’t care they just destroy.
A)Do Not Go Heavily Into Debt.
Notice I said not to heavily into debt.
Some will tell you not to get into any debt.
In the ideal world that is great.
In real life there will always be some can of debt.
It may be a electric bill, maybe a Dr. Bill, or a house payment, even a car payment, etc.
I’m talking about credit cards, extra things you don’t need to survive.
The Bible says in Romans 13:8a “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: …”
This money thing can be a real “termite” that can be a major problem.
Many couples “CHARGE” themselves into financial bondage.
May I say it is truly bondage?
The husband then has to get a second job.
This leads into no time for the family or wife.
Sometimes a 3rd job is needed.
Now we are in serious trouble.
Then the wife (mom) has to go to work.
Then we find the “God’s gift” to us raising themselves.
Being at home alone, no supervision at all.
Defending for themselves.
The infant children, taken to day care for some stranger to raise our children.
Then we wonder why our children go to the devil.
Bottom line is this.
You will get to the point where you will seldom each other.
Then the “termite” moves in for the kill.
This always leads into a problem in the marriage.
Not careful this is where the wondering begins.
It is much wiser to buy on a “CASH” basis.
Again let us go to the safe place for the answer.
“THE BIBLE”
Proverbs 22:7 “The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.”
Notice I put quotation marks around the verse.
Why?
I’m glad you asked.
Because God said it.
B)Plan Your Finances:
It is very wise to have a “BUDGET.”
In planning your “budget”, follow these quidelines:
1.Make “boundaries” & stay within them.
2.Pay your bills 1st.
(NOTE: After your tithe) (Don’t rob God)
If necessary sell things.
But Pay Your Bills.
3.Your outgo cannot exceed your income.
There is a law of diminishing returns.
English please, you cannot spend more than you make. Is it a need or a want? How long will it take to pay this off? How many hours of work to pay for this?
4.Practice systematic giving.
Again to the Bible for the answer.
I love the Bible.
Malachi 3:8-10 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation. Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.
God promises 2 things here:
a.There is a curse to them that do not pay up to god
“Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me”
b.A promise from God.
A challenge if you like to call it that.
Verse 10 promises a prosperity to the thither.
Rule: God 1st always.
5.Purchase on the basis of cash only.
You that know me I use credit card for everything.
My answer every month that credit card is paid in full.
If it gets to where I can not pay it off every month.
The spending & using of it will cease.
Do not waste your money on unnecessary things.
3)IN-LAW PROBLEMS:
Should be called outlaws.
Very few good in-laws out their.
I’m one of the blessed that has a great father- in law.
If fact he’s my dad.
I’m here to tell you that “meddling in-laws” can be a “TERMITE” that will result in very much martial unhappiness & can even result in divorce.
In a survey they listed that “in-laws” problems was near the top of problems in a marriage.
God knew that already that why He said in Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Repeated in Matthew 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
How about again in Mark 10:7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
Let’s do it again in Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Man, I love the BIBLE.
Don’t get me wrong many homes are blessed with a good relationship with the “in-laws”.
But as they say in Texas
“You can go for a Texas mile before you find it”
Perhaps these suggestions will help you to avoid the “TERMITE” of “in-laws” problems;
A.Remember that God’s plan is for married children to leave their parents.
We saw that in Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
B.Do not allow your parents to “CRITICZE” your mate.
C. Do not always “COMPARE” your mate with your parents.
Many a wife will compare her husband with her dad.
Many a husband will compare their wife to their mother.
This is very unwise.
If you love you mom so much why did you leave home & get married in the 1st place.
If you love d your daddy such why did you leave home & get married.
Thank about momma did all the cooking, cleaning, & etc.
Why need a wife, you already had it all.
If you needed a man to care of you ladies.
You had that already in daddy, he paid all the bills, gave you a roof to live under, etc.
Why?
Because God put in us to need a help mate, a companion.
Unlike the realationship with your parents.
You can not become one flesh with mommy & daddy.
At least you better not!!!!
In-Laws are a big “TERMITE” that will bring the home down.
4)LACK OF COMMUNICATION
If a married couple cannot communicate.
They will meet the “TERMITE” that will give them problems.
This can lead into huge problem.
A problem even “TERMINIX” can not fix.
Even though their slogan is:
“THE “PROBLEM SOLVED” GUARANTEE”
Here are some guidelines that Terminix can’t give you to kill this communication “TERNITE”.
These are very important guidelines:
A.FIND TIME to communicate.
Some times Jan has to stop me to talk, because I’m going a hundred miles an hour.
B.Be a GOOD LISTENER
C.ALWAYS RESPECT the opinion of the other person
D.ATTACK THE PROBLEM, not the person
E.Communication is NOT YELLING, INSULTS, or even SILENCE
F.Do not allow communication to DETERIORATE into gossip.
5)JEALOUSY
Oh Boy, is this a big green, slimy “TERMITE”.
BEWARE of this “TERMITE” of extreme jealousy.
BEWARE of feeling that everyone is trying to steal your mate.
(Rule of thumb here: If someone able to steal them from you, they weren’t yours in the 1st place)
TRUST is NECESSARY for a happy home.
Let’s go to the BIBLE
Proverbs 6:34 warns against jealousy,
“For jealousy is the rate of a man”
Meaning man or woman in an emphatic sense, jealousy excites his fiercest rage.
They become something they are not or even able to control.
In Proverbs 27:4 we read, Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?
Meaning mere anger is temporary; but envy, like a poisonous serpent, is ever watching for an opportunity to strike its victim.
You may find yourself married to a jealous spouse.
Try to help them overcome this ‘TERMITE’ of jealousy by the these simple steps;
A.Try to REMOVE every opportunity for jealousy.
If he or she doesn’t like you being friendly with the opposite sex.
Don’t be around them.
Don’t call or communicate all the time with the ex.
THINK on this.
How does it make you FEEL if they were to do it to you?
TERMITE solved.
B.ASSURE them of you love for them, & only them.
C.Be PATIENT
6)FIGHTING & NAGGING
Fighting, nagging & bickering is a ‘TERMITE’ that will ruin your home.
Again let’s go to the safest place for proof.
The BIBLE!
Let’s see what God has to say in Proverbs 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
God also says in the same chapter in Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
I know this is talking about woman being hateful.
What about the man?
Proverbs 15:18a “A wrathful man stirreth up strife: …”
It is a tragedy when couples lose the honey from the honeymoon.
It is sad when the sweetness of courtship goes sour.
When some husbands exchange the “yes dear” for a “shut up” after they get married.
Some wives no longer say “I’m sorry darling”, but now say, “Get off my back” after marriage.
Fighting & nagging is a “TERMITE” that will destroy your home.
Ladies, don’t be a nag.
Ask God to give you a “meek & quiet spirit”.
Men, don’t be an old crab.
Ask God to help you to be kind.
Look at the 2nd part of the verse in Proverbs 15:18b
“…but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.”
Maybe these suggestions will help:
A.REALIZE there are certain periods when your mate will not be as cheerful.
B.LEARN to be gentle, kind, & considerate.
C.When one is not in a good mood, the other party should try harder to be kind.
D.Learn to CONTROL your tongue.
E.REMEMBER the principle in Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
Man, there is just something about the Bible.
7)LIQUOR:
Is a very big “TERMITE” that will tear the home down.
The well known evangelist Dr. E. J. Daniels said that he spoke with a judge of the divorce courts in Minneapolis.
The judge told him that 90% of all divorces in his courts were due to the liquor bottle.
He went on to sat that in some parts of the country (USA) the percentage was at 95%.
Liquor is a “TERMITE” that will destroy the home fast.
I ruins morals, corrupts the mind, divides homes, & enslaves it”s victims & it breaks the heart.
Again let’s look to the Bible Proverbs 23:29-35 Who hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath contentions? who hath babbling? who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of eyes? They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine. Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder. Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things. Yea, thou shalt be as he that lieth down in the midst of the sea, or as he that lieth upon the top of a mast. They have stricken me, shalt thou say, and I was not sick; they have beaten me, and I felt it not: when shall I awake? I will seek it yet again.
Liquor will transform a normally loving husband into a brutal man.
It will turn a faithful man into a adulterous.
Liquor will change a normally decent lady into a cheap hussy.
I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight with somebody twice your size. . .
Well I’ve been known to cause a few breakups
and I’ve been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from work.
I got blamed at your wedding reception for your best man’s emberrasing speech
and also for those naked pictures of you at the beach
I’ve influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemingway write like he did
and I`ll bet you a drink or two that I can make you put that lampshade on your head . .
And since the day I left Milwaukee Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin a fool out of folks just like you and helpin white people dance
I am medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
you had some of the best times you’ll never remember with me
Alcohol
And since the day I left Milwaukee Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin the bars
With lots of big money
I got you in trouble in high school and college now that was a ball
you had some of the best times
you’ll never remember with me
Alcohol, Alcohol
8) THE TELEVISION SET:
As called by some the HELLAVISION.
Oh yes, this little tube that makes moving pictures can be a ‘TERMITE’ that can destroy your home.
If a Christian does not control the TV, it will control them.
There are several dangers that make the TV set a “TERMITE”.
A.It ATTACKS the scriptural role of the husband & wife.
B.It ROBS time from family life & service from God.
C.It CORRUPTS the minds of children.
The TV set has become the babysitter.
Sit the kids down in front of TV & let the ungodly teach our children, “God’s gift to us how to be:
A cheater, thief, a murder.
It teaches them it is ok to live with other & not get married.
It also shows them it’s ok to be gay, fag, or lezzy.
It is accepted in today’s world.
HEY, IT IS STILL NOT OK WITH GOD.
Statistics show us that by the time a child reaches the age of 14.
They have viewed 18,000 murders on the TV set.
This is not healthy to our children, & that’s only one ungodly act.
No wonder we have children killing parents.
No wonder we have kids going into schools & killing.
No wonder we have so many boyfriends killing girlfriends to cover up. Amos 5:19 As if a man did flee from a lion, and a bear met him; or went into the house, and leaned his hand on the wall, and a serpent bit him. The TV is that serpent.
We protect our children, our families from everything on the outside.
Drugs. Liquor, women, men, everything that is bad.
Then we come inside & let the TV destroy them.
9)AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP:
This little “TERMITE” causes thousands of ruined homes every year.
May be even higher since I did this last.
Adultery & infidelity is one of the biggest destroyers of the home.
Adultery: Violation of the marriage bed; a crime
Infidelity: Unfaithfulness to a moral obligation (Marriage) KNOWN AS DISLOYALTY
God condemns extramarital affairs.
English please: Sex outside the bounds of the marriage.
Again to the BIBLE:
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
It is vitally important for a husband & wife to have a normal physical relationship.
May I say, it is of the up most importance?
This will PROTECT AGAINST an un healthy, ungodly, adulterous relationship.
This goes both ways folks.
Only sex within the realm of marriage is acceptable to God.
Every other relationship will incur the wrath of God.
May I also say here, not to upset anyone, or anger anyone.
But as a Man of God I must tell you this.
Sex outside marriage (living together is not God’s plan)
You will miss out on the blessings of God.
Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
1 Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
You know that I love you very much.
I only what the best for you.
The best will come inside marriage.
This sin can even destroy the church if allowed.
10) BITTERNESS:
Oh yea this little “TERMITE” is last but not least.
When bitterness is allowed to continue.
There will be festering, marriage partners will do & can do some drastic things.
Listen to the advice of the “BIBLE” in Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Someone once said,
“Keep short accounts”
In English, if you have offended your mate in any way.
“BE SURE TO MAKE IT RIGHT.”
Leaving it go over night, or even for days.
All it will do is fester up, & become a “TERMITE” that will drive the knife into the home or marriage.
It will add fuel to the fire & the devil will get a hold of you.
We know what the “BIBLE” says about him in the next verse Ephesians 4:27 Neither give place to the devil.
Now folks we have identified these “10 TERMITES”
Now we can be on guard lest they destroy our home.
Please know in this message I was not out to hurt anyone or anybody.
As a TRUE MAN OF GOD.
I must tell you the truth.
3 things on this & I’m done
1) I’m required by God to tell you.
2) I will be held accountable for what I tell you, or not tell you.
Hebrews 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.
3) I have to tell you what God says, or should no longer preach the Gospel.
Galatians 1:10 For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
