LESSON 3
WHAT EVERY HUSBAND NEEDS FROM HIS WIFE:
Eph. 5: 21-33
The most beautiful rose in God’s garden is a virtuous woman.
Her price is far above rubies.
Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
She is of great value to her husband, her children.
Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
She is also a great value to her church and to her nation.
A Wise Christian Woman will seek to meet her husband’s needs.
THEY INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING:
1) EVERY HUSBAND NEEDS A SUBMISSIVE WIFE:
Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Titus 2:3-5 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
1 Peter 3:1-2 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. (Fear; respect and reverence,--that is, for the husband.)
1 Peter 3:5-6 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
a)The reasons for being Submissive
1.Rebellion against your husband is a violation of the word of God.
2.Rebellion against you husband teaches rebellion to your children.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT REBELLION?
1 Samuel 15:23a For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, …
3.Rebellion against your husband tears down his self esteem & masculinity.
(It tears down his being.)
b) The Excuses for Not Being Submissive
1. My Husband is not saved or his is not spiritual.
A boy may know more about something than his dad.
(Many things my son is smarter than his dad)
(Jan knows more than I do in some areas)
However; it does not change the God given order.
2. It is old fashion.
I have 2 answers for this excuse.
a) Proverbs 22:28 Remove not the ancient landmark, which thy fathers have set
Proverbs 23:10a Remove not the old landmark; …
b) Just look at what the “women’s lib” & the “ERA” have done in America
3.My husband won’t be the leader.
I know that is a problem in some homes.
Turn Him over to God.
You stay right with God and stay submissive.
Here is what to do
a.
Realize that God has given him that responsibility.
b.Always encourage him to make big decisions.
(Jan is good at this: Let impute here)
Wives, lead your family into submission to the father.
2) EVERY HUSBAND NEEDS HIS WIFE TO RESPECT HIM:
Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
1 Peter 3:5-6 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
Notice that wives are instructed to “Reverence their Husbands” .
We are told in 1 Peter that Sarah called Abraham “Lord”.
Men have a tremendous need to have their ego built up.
They must have the respect & confidence of his wife.
As a toddler, Johnny will try to impress Susie by building the best sand castle.
As a boy, he will “show off “on his bike.
(OH do I remember this trick, running into the back of a car)
As a teenager, he will look her way as he scores the winning goal.
As an adult, he needs to feel he is the best husband.
A man robbed of his pride, dignity & self esteem is a pitiful creature.
He becomes defensive & withdrawn like a little child who got their sucker taken from them.
He will often surly and be resentful.
He accepts defeat & gives up.
You can help build his confidence.
a)How to help build confidence in your husband;
1.Don’t be critical of him.
(Especially in front of others)
2.Praise his good qualities
3.Let your husband know you are behind him.
Someone has said,
“Behind every great man is a great woman”
4.Express confidence in him.
5.Express confidence in his decisions.
6.Let him talk about his dreams & believe in them.
If you don’t let your husband dream, you will have a mouse, not a man.
7.Let him know you think he is a “MAN”
8.Be enthusiastic about his achievements.
b)How to kill your husband’s manliness:
1.Resist his physical affection.
(Make him feel like he is the greatest lover.)
2.Resist his decisions.
A wife’s spirit controls he husband’s ambitions.
3.Remember his past defeats.
4.by more loyalty to outside leadership.
Do not be more loyal to relatives, friends, or even some psychologist or a Preacher.
5.by taking matters into your own hands.
Don’t become your husband’s conscience.
Wisely appeal wrong decisions.
However if he has mad up mind, let him do it.
6. By being self sufficient.
(Make him feel like you need him once in a while)
3)EVERY HUSBAND NEEDS ENCOURAGEMENT:
Men need someone to lift them up when they are down.
(Man it seems that I’m always down)
Men need to be encouraged when they’re discouraged.
Every wife should learn to “recharge” her husband’s “faltering battery” (every man has one)
Hey, when he makes (he will) mistake or falls short (he will) of a goal reaffirm your confidence in him.
When he is tempted (this will happen) encourage him to go on.
Men here is a verse we need to learn
1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
4) EVERY HUSBAND NEEDS A HELP MEET:
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Every husband has great responsibility.
(NOT THAT WIVES DON’T)
Much is required of God from man.
The wife should help him in the load.
(I said help with, not carry the load.)
(God uses both at the same time for we are one flesh.)
Here are few examples on how to be a help meet for the man:
a.Do those things your husband asks you to do.
Never neglect them or forget them.
(Remember wives that this is also teaching the children by example)
b.Learn to take care of things of minor importance.
Be submissive
Not a “wall flower”
Do not be totally dependent.
Do not be self sufficient
(He needs to know you need him)
On the other hand wives.
Please do not be totally dependent.
c.Help him with his burdens.
Take time to listen to his problems.
(Don’t criticize him when he shares these things with you)
(On earth you are all that he has to vent)
5)EVERY HUSBANDS NEEDS CONSIDERATION:
Here is a list for the wives.
Remember man is needier than a woman.
Doesn’t make sense to me who that came about.
We are the stronger vessel yet the weakest in emotions at time
Cook the foods he likes.
If he is in one of his talking moods, listen carefully.
Don’t spring on him all the days’ bad news, when he 1st comes home.
(Let him rest a bit, before the tiger jumps)
If he is tired, leave him alone for awhile.
Don’t store up all the discipline problems.
SPOIL him.
(Hey ladies food for thought.)
(When he is sick be that nurse that he needs.)
(Remember he is a little softy)
Be PATIENT with him during times of pressure.
Learn to REMOVE those things that antagonize him.
If he’s on top of the world (doesn’t happen a lot) climb on with him.
6)EVERY HUSBAND NEEDS HIS WIFE TO BE AVAILABLE:
If you are home
Greet him at the door.
Be available for his romance & physical needs.
Caution here; If he feels rejected, he may seek it elsewhere.
1 Corinthians 7:2-5 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
7) EVERY HUSBAND NEEDS HIS WIFE TO MAINTAIN INWARD & OUTWARD BEAUTY:
Husband & wives should try to remain physically attractive.
How do we do this? Very simple.
Keeping our hair neat, & clean.
Watch our weight.
(Oh yea that’s a good one)
Try to dress attractively.
(Keep it clean people)
Many men work with woman on the job that is as “NEAT as a PEN”.
Then they come home to a wife that is sloppy.
Remember, men are motivated by sight.
“OUTWARD” Beauty is important.
Yet so is “INWARD” beauty.
Strive to have a meek & quite spirit.
8)EVERY HUSBAND NEEDS AN INTERESTED WIFE:
Every husband needs a wife to take interest in his work.
She needs to take interest in his dreams.
In his burdens, & his goals.
His wife needs to be interested in his HOBBIES.
(Every man needs a hobby to run to)
9)EVERY HUSBAND NEEDS A WIFE WITH A GOOD ATTITUDE:
Now preacher why would you say that.
Let’s look to the Bible for the answer.
Proverbs 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Proverbs 25:24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.
Oh yea!!!!!!!!!!!
Women can have a temper & a bad attitude.
When they get in the mood get out.
It is important to obey with a good spirit.
1 Samuel 15:22 And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, …
10) EVERY HUSBAND NEEDS A WIFE WHO IS A HOMEMAKER:
Proverbs 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
In Proverbs 31: 10-31 we find a vivid picture of God’s perfect woman.
Big difference from the verses in Pro. 21:9, 21:19, & 25:24.
Let’s look at the model Christian Woman in Proverbs 31:
Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Notice the characteristics of the virtuous woman:
a.She is a good wife who pleases he husband
Proverbs 31:11-12 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
b.She is hard working
1.She worketh willing.
Proverbs 31:13b … worketh willingly with her hands.
2. She gets up early
Proverbs 31:15a She riseth also while it is yet night, …
3.She stays up late
Proverbs 31:18b … : her candle goeth not out by night.
4.She is not idle
Proverbs 31:27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
c.She provides the necessities for her family
1. She provides clothing
Proverbs 31:13a She seeketh wool, and flax, …
Proverbs 31:21b … : for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
2. She provides good meals
Proverbs 31:15b … and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
d. She is thrifty with her finances
(Jan lives here)
(Her idea of a bargin is as close to free as you can get)
1. She looks for a good bargin
Proverbs 31:16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
2. She buys quality merchandise
Proverbs 31:18a She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: …
e. She cares for others
Proverbs 31:20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
She cares not only for own family.
She also cares about the poor & the needy.
(A woman after mine own heart)
f. She clothes herself appropriately
Proverbs 31:22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
g.She has good character
Proverbs 31:25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Her character is seen by her strength.
Her character is seen by her integrity.
Her character is seen by her consistency.
Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
h. She helps maintain discipline in the home
Proverbs 31:27 a She looketh well to the ways of her household, …
i. She instills Godly principles in her children
Proverbs 31:1-9 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him. What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows? Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted. Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more. Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.
NOTICE THE RESULTS OF ALL THIS:
She has joy
Proverbs 31:25b … ; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She has her husband’s confidence
Proverbs 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
Her Husband is honored
Proverbs 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
Her children respect her.
Proverbs 31:28a Her children arise up, and call her blessed
Her husband praises her
Proverbs 31:28b
her husband also, and he praiseth her.
This is a lot for the woman
Men we to thank God for a good woman.
She makes the world go around.
Woman do right by the husband and the Lord will bless thee
Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
