Wedding Ceremony
Performed by Rick Crandall - Jan. 3, 2009
Outline for charge to the couple - Six keys to a happy home:
-Communication
-Compassion
-Commitment
-Courtship after marriage
-Church
-Christ
Introduction and Statement of Marriage
Family and friends, we are gathered together in the sight of God and this company to join together Chris and Rachel in holy matrimony. They have acknowledged God’s claim on them, and they are seeking His will for their marriage.
The Bible often speaks of the goodness and honor of marriage. Marriage is a model of the everlasting relationship between Jesus Christ and His church. Christ is the Bridegroom, and the church is the Bride of Christ, including all who have received Jesus as personal Savior and Lord.
God speaks of this truth where the Bible says,
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband” (Ephesians 5:25-33).
The beauty of a wife’s devotion was seen in Ruth’s heart, even after her husband had died. She said to Naomi, “Don’t ask me to leave you, or to return from following after you: for where you go, I will go; and where you lodge, I will lodge: your people shall be my people, and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16)
Invocation
Charge to the Couple
Chris and Rachel, this day is truly one of the most important days of your lives. We know that you have come to this ceremony seeking to have a happy home. The nearest place to heaven in this world is a God centered home.
Charles Spurgeon said that a home ruled by God’s Word is a place where angels may be asked to stay with us, and they would not find themselves out of place. This is the kind of home you want, so today let me give you some keys to a happy home.
The first is communication. You are here today because of good communication. You have known each other since the 6th grade, so you know each other very well, and you have learned how to communicate with each other.
Chris, you told me that Rachel is a great listener, and that she knows you so well, that sometimes she knows what you want before you even ask. You also talked about her friendliness to other people.
Rachel you said that Chris is calm, and that he doesn’t tend to freak-out about difficult situations. You also talked about his good sense of humor and his dependability.
Keep thinking and saying those good things about each other. Keep sharing your feelings with each other, even your frustrations and hurts.
Last year I was part of a wedding where I got to meet the bride’s great grandparents. They had been married for 64 years! When I heard that, I said, “I bet you could give some good advice.”
That great grandmother instantly replied, “Say ‘I love you!’ the first thing every morning, and mean it. And say ‘I love you’ the last thing every evening, and mean it” That kind of communication will help you have a happy home.
But also remember compassion. None of us is perfect, so all of us will need forgiveness. Sometimes you will need to be the one who says, “I’m sorry.” Sometimes it will be your turn to say, “That’s O.K. I forgive you.”
As Christians, we have been forgiven, and God wants us to forgive. So remember compassion, and remember commitment. You will certainly face problems in your marriage, but you can overcome them all, if you are committed to each other.
God wants you to have the kind of love we see in 1 Corinthians 13, which says:
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)
This kind of commitment will give you a happy home. But also remember courtship after marriage. This is hugely important.
You certainly know about courtship. Chris, you fell in love first, knowing that there was something very special and different about Rachel. For her, love came in a more gradual way. Rachel said it came over a period of time. And you said, “I wore her down, and she said ‘yes.’”
And what a proposal! Chris asked Rachel to marry him on a bridge in front of a 600 foot waterfall! That was first class courtship. But remember courtship after marriage. Some people put tons of effort into their wedding, and then think they can just coast on in their life together. But marriage is like a garden. If you don’t plant it, water it and feed it, you will not have a very good harvest. You must practice courtship after marriage. Fan the flames of your love for each other! Have a date night every week. Do special things for each other.
Do special things for her. Get out of town for a week-end. Send her flowers. Send her flowers. Last November People Magazine proclaimed actor Hugh Jackman to be the sexiest man alive. You know what his wife said was sexy about him? He takes out the garbage. Women like stuff like that. Most of us husbands could do more around the house. I certainly could, and it may seem odd, but it’s part of courtship after marriage.
Do special things for her, and Rachel, do special things for him. Write him special notes. Find ways to show Chris that you love, respect and appreciate him. The more you put into your marriage, the more you will get out of it.
Courtship after marriage will help you have a happy home, but also remember church. There are a lot of young people here tonight because of your wedding. Let me speak to all of you and say, “Don’t let this be the only thing that brings you to church.” God has a wonderful plan for your life, and of course I can’t tell you the details, but I can tell you this: Part of God’s plan for your life is for you to be an active, vital part of His church. Going to church will not guarantee you a happy marriage, but it will help you to follow God’s plan for your marriage, and following His plan will give you a happy marriage.
Remember church, and most of all remember Christ. Jesus Christ has grown a deep love in your hearts for each other. Nobody knows more about love than He does. He even gave Himself on the Cross for our sins. And now the Risen Christ will be with you to take your love to new heights.
By the grace of God, there are happy marriages between people who don’t know Jesus as Savior and Lord. But God really did design marriage to be a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the church, so the best marriages are centered on Christ.
Remember the couple that had been married for 64 years? That great grandfather said, “You must put God first in your marriage. The sooner you realize you can’t do it on your own, the better off you will be.”
There are incredible stresses on families today, but with Christ as the power in your heart and home, your marriage cannot fail. Jesus will be there for you just as He promised us: "I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
Let Jesus Christ put Heaven in your home.
Affirmations
Chris and Rachel, you have come here today to seek the blessings of God upon your marriage.
Chris: Will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together following God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep only unto her, so long as you both shall live?
Answer: I will.
Rachel: Will you have this man to be your wedded husband, to live together following God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, keep only unto him, so long as you both shall live?
Answer: I will.
Vows of Love and Loyalty
Chris, please face Rachel, take her hands and confirm your love and loyalty to her by repeating after me.
I, Chris, take you, Rachel, / to be my wedded wife; / to have and to hold / from this day forward, / for better, for worse, / for richer, for poorer, / in sickness and in health, / to love and to cherish, / till death do us part, / that we may become one in spirit, / one in mind, /one in affection, / and above all things, / one in Christ.
Rachel, please confirm your love and loyalty to Chris by repeating after me.
I, Rachel, take you, Chris, / to be my wedded husband; / to have and to hold / from this day forward, / for better, for worse, / for richer, for poorer, / in sickness and in health, / to love and to cherish, / till death do us part, / that we may become one in spirit, / one in mind, /one in affection, / and above all things, / one in Christ. (1)
Ring Service
To portray the exchanging of your marriage vows and as a public witness of them, you will now exchange rings. Made of precious metal, these rings remind you of the precious gifts that God has given to you. Chris, He has given Rachel to you. Rachel, He has given Chris to you. And He has given both of you a precious love for each other. These rings symbolize that love.
Shaped in a circle, which is unending, they also symbolize that your love should never end. Crafted for great beauty, these rings remind you that you must work to have a good marriage. It won’t just happen by itself. Again: the more you put into your marriage, the more you will get out of it.
And these rings were made by a master craftsman. There is no way I could make rings like these. And there is no way we can make a beautiful marriage on our own. Helen Rowland once said, “Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.” (2)
There is no way we can make a beautiful marriage on our own. We must have the grace and help of Almighty God. So look to the Lord, because He will surely help you.
(Groom receives ring and places it on the bride’s left hand.)
Chris, now repeat after me to Rachel:
This ring I give to you / as a symbol of our total commitment. / May you ever wear it with joy. / May you never doubt my devotion. / May you always be inspired by my love.
(Bride receives ring and places it on the groom’s left hand.)
Rachel, now repeat after me to Chris:
This ring I give to you / as a symbol of our total commitment. / May you ever wear it with joy. / May you never doubt my devotion. / May you always be inspired by my love. (3)
Pronouncement:
Forasmuch as Chris and Rachel have promised God and one another that they will live together in the holy estate of matrimony, that they will be true to God and to each other, that they will build a life of mutual love and constant loyalty, in that they have witnessed the same with their vows and the giving of rings, it is my joy to pronounce that from this day forward in the sight of God and the laws of this state they are now husband and wife. May God bless you, and may you live together in holy love until life’s end.
Presentation:
Chris: Please kiss your bride and wife.
I present to you Mr. and Mrs. __________________.
Recessional
Announcement:
On behalf of Chris and Rachel, I want to thank you for being here this evening. You are all invited to join them for their reception at ____________.
1. Order of service and marriage vows adapted
2. Helen Rowland, quoted by Robert Keeler in The Toastmaster, Reader’s Digest, June, 1994, p. 130.
3. Original source unknown
