Introduction: The names in this story have been changed out of respect for their privacy. Julie W told her family’s story in a magazine article.
[My daughter], Allison, came home for the weekend. She opened the door, didn’t speak, and dropped her duffel bag. Smudges of mascara circled her eyes. I whispered a “God-please-no” prayer.
“Come tell me about your classes.” I patted the sofa.
“Gotta take a shower.”
As she clomped upstairs, I analyzed the recent changes in her: complaints of not having any money, rarely answers the phone, weight loss, pinpoint pupils, and a “who gives a rip” [façade]. I searched her purse and found a leopard-colored pipe and the unmistakable sweet odor of pot. My heart fluttered wildly like a bird stuck inside my chest.
She plodded down the stairs, hair in a towel, wearing the same wrinkled clothes. Be still and talk in a sweet voice, I told myself. You must convince her to stop.
“We need to talk, honey.”
“Not now. I’m tired.”
“I found your pipe.”
She stared at me with death-row eyes. “Chill, it’s not that big of a deal.”
The tightness in the den suffocated me. I needed air. “Want to walk?” I asked brightly. “Like we used to?”
“Whatever.”
I knew I could talk some sense into her. “Honey, please. You’ve gotta stop.” I grabbed her hand.
“Mom!” She jerked away.
“We have a strong family history. You don’t want to—”
I never got to finish the sentence. Allison stormed out of the room and within minutes was headed back to college. I knew what I had to do — abandon everything in my life and start to worry/fix/control full-time.
I began spending most days by the phone. I evaluated Allison’s reactions, gestures, and comments. Thoughts circled my mind like buzzards: What if she never stops? What if I never see her again? What if she overdoses? Or goes to jail?
I lured Allison into therapy by promising we’d go to an Italian restaurant before visits. Her first appointment day arrived. She played with her spaghetti, and I couldn’t eat.
“So, what do you plan to say to the counselor?” I asked.
“How should I know?”
When they called her name at the office, I hurried in to make sure the counselor understood. Allison refused to sign for me to have any information. I considered eavesdropping, but too many people were around. An hour later, she walked past me as I paid.
“What’d you talk about?”
“Just stuff.”
Our therapy/lunch charade continued that way for a few weeks. Then Allison’s sister informed me she was still using. She denied it, refused to see the counselor, dropped out of college, and stopped answering my calls.
I was convinced if I forgot about Allison, even for a second, or enjoyed anything, something bad might happen. Several months later, after another night of little sleep, I glanced in the mirror. I could have passed for the addict: dark circles under hopeless eyes.
I called my friend Linda. Her son, also an addict, had been sentenced to state prison. “You can’t imagine all that’s going on here,” I said.
“Come over for coffee,” she urged.
I wanted to stand guard at home but knew she’d listen and understand.
“Hey, girlfriend.” Linda hugged me. …
I didn’t touch my coffee as I blurted the saga. Linda didn’t sweet-talk. “You need help.”
“You haven’t heard the whole story,” I argued. “I’m fine — my daughter, she needs help.”
“You’re addicted to worry and control,” Linda said. “I’ve been where you are.” She stretched out on the sofa. “The only one you can control is yourself.”
The possibility that she might be right terrified me.
“It took me years to realize that I’m not in charge. God is,” Linda admitted. “By worrying, you’re telling God he can’t handle things. Go to Al-Anon … with me.”
I’d heard of Al-Anon but didn’t see how it applied to me. But I agreed because I was in awe of Linda.
I didn’t open my mouth during the meeting. Every word spoken sounded like my own thoughts:
“I worried myself sick about my alcoholic husband.”
“My peace comes only when I let go and let God.” …
Then the speaker said, “To change, you’ll have to leave behind some familiar lifelong habits.”
But how? This is who I am — what I do.
“An alcoholic can’t drink, and those of us in this room can’t allow an ounce of worry. For us, it’s every bit as dangerous and addictive. Worry robs our serenity.”
I didn’t think change was possible. Not for me. But I knew one thing for sure — I was destroying my life.
That night at home I got real. “Help me, God. I can’t do this without you.” I began to ask God for help each morning. I whispered, “Not my job,” as worry, fear, or control tried to needle back in. …
Two years after that first Al-Anon meeting, Allison and I met for an impromptu lunch. She’d gone back to the same therapist. On her own.
“You can’t imagine how easy it is to study when you’re not high,” she laughed.
“Nope, I guess not.” I blinked back happy tears.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“For what?”
“When you didn’t fix my problems, it scared me. A few times I had to dig change out of the seat of my car for gas money. Some days,” she paused, “I didn’t have food.” My throat felt warm with pride. She’d done it on her own. “I’m making A’s. And look,” she handed me her checkbook. “I have money again.”
Recovery defies logic. It means doing the opposite of what feels natural. When I took care of myself and my addictions, Allison did the same.
Citation: Condensed from our sister publication Today’s Christian, © 2008 Christianity Today International Julie W., “Not My Job,” Today’s Christian (July/August 2008)
Everyone needs a hero. For the mother who told this story it was her friend, Linda. Then she turned to God as her ultimate hero. We all could do with someone to help us work through our troubles. We need a victorious warrior to fight our battles. No one knows that better than God himself.
Text: Isaiah 9:6 NLT
A child is born to us, a son is given to us. And the government will rest on his shoulders. These will be his royal titles: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Context:
This little baby is called “Mighty God.” In the Bible, the word “mighty” means “conqueror.” The term is used at least 156 times in the Old Testament. It is usually associated with a warrior who wins so many battles that he becomes a national hero. But it also describes the LORD. Moses told his people, “Do not be afraid of [your enemies], for the LORD your God is among you, and he is a great and awesome God.” (Deuteronomy 7:21 NLT)
Isaiah proclaims a huge paradox in this verse. The first sentence says, “a child is born to us, a son is given to us.” This is a human being – not an angel, not some other kind of spiritual being. Then the child’s titles reveal his character. The Baby is also the “Mighty God.” He is not an angel or some other kind of spiritual being. The Child is both human and God.
On top of that, this Child came in a startling way to fulfill a surprising plan. “This child born to us” entered life in a borrowed crib and he left it in a borrowed crypt. A helpless baby needing parents to protect him, to change his diapers, to feed him – this apparently powerless child is the Mighty God. The man stripped, beaten, abandoned, nailed to a tree – this seemingly powerless victim of human hatred and violence is the Mighty God.
Surrendering your life and your lived ones, trusting him to take care of all of you may defy your logic. It may feel unnatural and insane. But it is the only way to peace and victory.
Thesis:
“The child born to us” is the Mighty God who can fight all our battles and overcome all our troubles.
Jesus summarized his mission in these words. “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NLT)
Key Question:
How can Jesus be the Mighty God in our lives? How can God give us strength? How can we claim his victories as our own?
1. FIRST, RECOGNIZE JESUS’ POWER AT WORK IN YOU.
Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope. (Ephesians 3:20 NLT)
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. (Philippians 2:13)
2. JESUS’ POWER IS AT WORK FOR YOU.
I pray that you will begin to understand the incredible greatness of his power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else in this world or in the world to come. And God has put all things under the authority of Christ, and he gave him this authority for the benefit of the church. (Ephesians 1:19-22 NLT)
3. JESUS’ POWER IS AT WORK THROUGH YOU.
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:8)
My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power. (2 Corinthians 2:4-5)
CONCLUSION:
So, Jesus – the Son of God given to us this Christmas – is a hero! He is a hero because He has conquered everything, including sin and death. He is the most unique hero of the universe because He came to serve, not to be served. He came… He lived… He sacrificed… He conquered… He rose from the dead. Now He sits at the Father’s right hand in heaven. No one else can do in your life what the Mighty God can do.
REPENTANCE POINT: How should we change?
We all are very independent individuals. Some of our first words – perhaps even our first sentence – expressed that self-reliance. “I can do it myself.” This is healthy when we’re dressing and cleaning up. It becomes unhealthy when we try to control others and to make decisions for them. We need to release our lives and others into Jesus’ care and to receive the peace he gives. He is the Mighty God who can fight all our battles and overcome all our troubles.
NEXT STEPS
a. The first step to claming Jesus’ victorious power in your life begins with admitting you need his help.
• What troublesome battles are you fighting today?
• Are you struggling with a painful past? Were you abandoned or abused?
• Are you struggling with an addiction? Do you focus your life on worrying, fixing and controlling others? Are you driven to deal with the struggles in your life by some other means?
b. The next step is to ask Jesus to be your hero in your troublesome battles. Surrendering your life and your lived ones, trusting Jesus to take care of all of you may defy your logic. It may feel unnatural and insane. But it is the only way to peace and victory.
RESPONDING TO GOD
Praise is one of the most powerful ways to release our lives and others into Jesus’ care and to receive the peace he gives. When we worship Jesus as the Mighty God who lived died and lives again, we recognize that we are not in charge but God is.
An ancient Jewish prophet put it this way. “O Sovereign LORD! You have made the heavens and earth by your great power. Nothing is too hard for you!” (Jeremiah 32:17 NLT)
A modern poet summarized her praise in these lines.
Great and mighty is the Lord our God,
Great and mighty is He.
Great and mighty is the Lord our God,
Great and mighty is He.
Lift up your banner,
Let the anthems ring
praises to our King:
Great and mighty is the Lord our God,
Great and mighty is He.
Let’s sing Jesus’ praise as we release our lives and our loved ones into his care and receive the peace he gives.
