Are You Stressed!
On the lighter side: Two video clips from commercials to stress - stress
Question: How do you manage your stress?
Thesis: Many today in our society are chasing after the wind and ending up overwhelmed and stressed in their lives. The result of this state is that many are robbed of their joy in life.
T.S. – Let’s listen to the Book of Ecclesiastes and see what happens when our focus is in the wrong direction in life.
Scripture Text:
Ecclesiastes 2:17-26:
17So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. 18I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. 19And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the work into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. 20So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun. 21For a man may do his work with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then he must leave all he owns to someone who has not worked for it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune. 22What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? 23All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless. 24A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? 26To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
Ecclesiastes 4: 1-8:
1Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun: I saw the tears of the oppressed—and they have no comforter; power was on the side of their oppressors—and they have no comforter. 2And I declared that the dead, who had already died, are happier than the living, who are still alive. 3But better than both is he who has not yet been, who has not seen the evil that is done under the sun. 4And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man’s envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. 5The fool folds his hands and ruins himself. 6Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind. 7Again I saw something meaningless under the sun: 8There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless—a miserable business!
Introduction:
After reading the scripture sections in Ecclesiastes we discover that Solomon knew what it was like to be stressed out in this life and to come to a point were life was like chasing after the wind. I believe many today could relate to the feelings of Solomon from our book today. Many of us in this life feel like we are chasing after the wind. We are running around in circles going nowhere and we are totally stressed out because we feel like life has no purpose. It seems like we are running in circles trying to achieve something - I’m not sure if we know what that something is though? I see far too many people collapsing under the stress and the pressure of running around like roosters with their heads cut off.
I am hearing a new phrase repeated throughout our nation today, they are saying we are no longer “One Nation, Under God!” but “One Nation, Under Stress!” I talk to a lot of people on a regular basis and hear them say, “I am exhausted,” You can look at their eyes and see that they are overwhelmed. They keep saying things like, “All I have to do is make it to this month and then I can relax!” But then they get to that month they discover that it is as busy and as over whelming as the last 6 months were. They seem to be trapped in the endless cycle of stress, and busyness. So the drip goes on hitting them in the forehead day after day after day. They are deceived with the idea that they have to continue doing more, more and more. There is in their minds some grandiose view that it’s good for them and their family to stay this stressed. It’s good for them to keep their heads under the steady drip of stress and busyness.
Dr. Don Colbert wrote a book called Stress Less in which he tackles the problem of stress in our society. Listen to a few observations he has made as a Medical Doctor. “Did you know that 75 to 90 percent of all visits to a primary care physician’s office are related to stress disorders? That’s according to the American Institute of Stress. What is driving us to the shelves of pharmacy? Feelings of stress! Americans are consuming five billion tranquilizers, five billion barbiturates, three billion amphetamines, and sixteen tons of aspirin every year. Much of this “medicine” is being taken to help alleviate stress or the resulting headaches and pain associated with stress” (5)!
We are living in a time were we have epidemic levels of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, obesity, type 2 diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, osteoporosis, alcoholism, drug abuse, road rage, violent behavior, people losing control over minor incidents, headaches, and the list could go on but the truth is this is all related to the excessive stress we face in society today.
I here far too often the phrase, “I am stressed out!” or “I feel trapped!” or “I’m in an endless cycle of business!” and “I am so overwhelmed!” The reality check of life modern living seems to be associated with extreme levels of stress. The truth is these stressful lifestyles and feelings are doing damage to the physical and emotional health of our bodies. Dr. Colbert says, “The body’s stress response involves more that fourteen hundred known physical and chemical reactions involving more than thirty different hormones and neurotransmitters. Excessive release of ‘stress hormones’ damages cells, tissues, and organs. For most people, the daily stress hassles are the most damaging to the body” (7).
T.S. – So the big question for us today is this, “How are you managing the stress in your life? Do you feel like Solomon one who is chasing the wind?
I. How should we manage our stress?
a. Here are a few stress questions to help you measure your level of stress:
i. See Whiteman’s book, “How Stressed Are You?”
1. Please consider getting his “Stress test” from his book to see for yourselves were your stress level is.
2. These questions and the scoring key will help you realize and understand how dangerous you level of stress is.
3. You can order through Borders, Amazon or Barnes and Noble.
ii. The truth is it very important for us to make sure that we do not live in denial about our stress. We have to face it and deal with it. So with this in mind let me ask you some more questions:
1. Have you gotten to the point where you actually feel trapped and hopeless in life because it is so full of stress?
2. Do you feel that you have no emotional reserves left to do one more thing?
3. Do you feel that you have no physical energy left to accomplish the next task?
4. Do you feel so overwhelmed that there is no joy in your life?
5. Do you feel mad at the world for no apparent reason?
6. Do you feel that everyone is just sucking you dry and then walking away leaving you to whither up and die?
7. Do you feel that your pace in life is out of control?
a. If you answer yes to any of these questions then stress is dripping on your head.
b. Dr. Colbert states, “In my opinion, stress is the pressures of life and how one perceives, believes, reacts, and copes with these pressures” (7).
i. He gives us all some sound advice in managing the stress in our lives so that it does not drown us and put us over the edge:
1. He first tells us that we have to get control of our thoughts if we ever want any hope in managing stress!
a. He notes that we can transform our thoughts and our thinking patterns. We can also choose not to accept these distortional thoughts.
i. Whiteman’s A - Avoid
b. He tells us that we can alter our perceptions of life and its stressors.
i. Whiteman’s A - Alter
c. He tells us we can quit fighting against the stressors and learn to be able to ride them like a surfer rides the waves of the ocean.
i. Whiteman’s A - Accept
c. The Bible tells us that getting control of our thought patterns is possible and absolutely necessary in life.
i. Listen to what it says in Philippians 4:4-9:
1. 4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
2. Notice what it says in verses 4-7!
a. Rejoice- choose to rejoice – to have a positive attitude in the face of your stressor!
i. This is the first step to changing our perceptions about life.
ii. We must avoid – allowing negative self talk to bring us down.
b. Do not be anxious- In other words trust God to work out everything in your life and learn to relax in the faithfulness of the Lord.
i. Let go of the anxiety of stress.
ii. Let go of its continuous drip into your mind and heart.
c. Pray - when you are anxious in life learn to ask for the Lord’s help so that you can calm down.
i. Pray and ask the Lord to change your thinking and your perceptions about this life.
d. Be thankful – in other words learn to appreciate the good things in your life. Learn to remember the blessings that the Lord has given you! Learn to say, “Thank You to the Lord!”
i. This act of praise will change your perceptions!
ii. The Thank You cards at the cross!
e. If you do these little things everyday then you will have peace the Word tells us.
i. Maxwell stated, “What you do today determines what you will be tomorrow!”
ii. If we learn the importance of doing these little things daily then it says God’s peace will guard our hearts and our minds.
1. In other words this is great advice in preventing a heart attack in your life!
2. Dr. Colbert states, “According to the Mayo Clinic study of people with heart disease, psychological stress was the strongest predictor of future cardiac events” (13).
3. He also noted, “In one ten-year study, people who were not able to mange their stress effectively had a 40% higher death rate than those who were ‘unstressed’” (13).
3. Also notice what Doctor Paul says in verses 5-9:
a. Paul the Doctor of your well being says, “Do you want peace of mind and do you want to prevent a heart attack? Then think about the good things in life! Think on things that praiseworthy and excellent! Look at the positive side of life instead of always focusing on the negative side of life! It will prevent you from having a heart attack and from you losing your mind!”
i. He agrees with Dr. Colbert – change you thinking and how you perceive those stressful events in life.
ii. The truth is we do have the power and the help from God to change the way we perceive our life and this world’s stressors.
b. Dr. Colbert quotes Deut. 30:19, 20a:
i. “19This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life…”
1. He states this about this text:
a. “Choosing life means to choose God’s way over our way; it means to choose a relationship with Him and obedience to Him over our own self-centered desires. Most factors to stress are subject to your choice” (17).
ii. The truth is what you perceive is really your reality! It’s all in how you decide to look at it!
1. The way we perceive stressful events impacts our body and our reaction to the stressor.
a. Remember this – Stress is found in everyone’s life but the one’s who manage it well go on and live long lives.
i. These lives are filled with contentment and peace.
b. Remember this - Our perception of an event will make it either positive or negative.
i. It is really up to us to decide which will gain control of our minds and our hearts.
d. Dr. Colbert states, “Your perceptions determine how you see the world. The mind is similar to a computer –the brain is the hard drive, and the perceptions are the ‘software.’ It is the perception of people, demands, issues, and circumstances-not the actual people, demands, issues, or circumstances in and of themselves-that dictate how a person will react” (33).
i. He notes several distorted thought patterns or thinking patterns that people adopt in life.
1. All-or-nothing thinking – For this kind of person, there are no gray areas. Anything less than his standard of ‘perfect’ is worthless (38).
2. Overgeneralizations – A person who over-generalizes thinks that if one thing goes wrong, nothing will ever go right for him ever (39).
3. A negative mental filter – This kind of distortional thinking causes a person to hear a half hour of praise after a job evaluation but leave the meeting depressed because of one area ‘needing improvement’ (39).
4. Disqualifying the positive – Even more distortional is when a person takes a positive experience and turns it into a negative one. These kind of thinkers feel they are not worthy of any praise under any circumstances (40).
5. Jumping to conclusions – People who jump to conclusions predict the worst possible outcome or circumstance without having any, or all, the facts to support their conclusions (41).
a. Mind reading- you arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out (40).
b. The fortune teller error – you anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already –established fact.
6. Magnification (catastrophizing) or minimization – You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or the other fellow’s imperfections).
7. Emotional reasoning – You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: “I feel it, therefore it must be true.” (41).
8. Fixed rule thinking- This person is a ‘should,’ ‘must,’ or ‘ought to’ person. He confines people and events to his rules and fails to realize the fact that he can’t force anyone to adhere to them. The more rigid the rules, the greater the person’s disappointment. That disappointment usually plays out as worry, depression. Frustration, irritation, or guilt (43).
9. Labeling and mislabeling – A person who attaches a negative label to himself or someone else tends to do so because of his own low self-esteem (43).
10. Personalization – This kind of thinking shifts the blame of an outcome on self. Unfortunately in our society, many children who come from dysfunctional homes become trapped in this kind of thinking: “Daddy left mommy because I was bad” (44).
11. Life is fair, and everybody is entitled to a good life – The truth is life is not fair. (45).
12. I need to be liked and accepted by everyone- Truth is not everybody will like you (45).
13. People should behave properly – If you expect other people to always behave toward you in the way you consider ‘proper’ you will live in a state of frustration, anger and stress (45).
14. The worst outcome will probably occur – The worst outcome is rarely what comes to pass. Worrying about things beyond your control leads to excessive stress (45).
15. I am unable to change the way I am – This belief is guaranteed to lead to stress (46).
ii. Dr. Colbert notes that these distortional thoughts and beliefs are rooted in the thought that life owes us something. But he states, “There is nothing written in the cosmos of the Word of God that declares this to be true. Life owes you nothing; you owe life something” (47)!
1. The truth is a lot of our stress comes from us allowing the faulty thinking to take root in our minds and in our hearts.
e. Proverbs 23:7a NKJV states, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…”
T.S. – We need to honestly evaluate our stress level and seek to deal with it like Jesus did and learn from His example of stress management.
II. Jesus knows what it feels like to be overwhelmed by sorrow and stress.
a. We need to learn from Jesus how to deal with stress!
i. Scripture verse - Matthew 26:36-39: 36Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” 39Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
b. Jesus himself knew the pressure of stress and the feelings of being overwhelmed. But he was able to come through the stress test and get the victory.
i. Movie Clip: The Passion of The Christ portrays Jesus in the garden struggling with the decision to do the God’s will or not. It was a very stressful time in Jesus’ life! As you watch this video clip notice how Jesus dealt with His stress and notice the effects stress had on Him!
1. Did you notice his turmoil and anguished look?
2. Did you see the blood seeping out of his skin because of his stress?
3. Did you see him collapse from the pressure and pass out momentarily?
4. Did you see who was there to make the stress worse?
a. The enemy loves to make us see the worst part of our stressors.
b. He loves to get us more overwhelmed.
c. He enjoys tormenting us in our stressful moments.
ii. Did you notice what Jesus did to get through this horrible ordeal?
1. He found a place of solitude.
a. He got away from the crowds of people and even his work.
b. He made the time to get alone with God!
2. He prayed to “Abba!”
a. He asked for the Father’s help.
i. We need to learn to let go of the American Lone Ranger mindset.
1. The “I can do it all on my own!”
2. The rugged macho image – of I don’t need anyone’s help –especially God’s help.
a. Reference – Grant’s statement in the break room at work with Thomas-also the other guys comment.
b. Jesus sought clarity about the situation through dialogue with the Father.
c. He focused on the problem in the presence of His Father.
i. He did not deal with it alone – he worked it through in the presence of the Father.
3. He looked to comfort and support from his friends!
a. Friends are given to us by God to help support us through difficult times.
i. They help hold us up through tough times.
1. Reference movie “The Family Guy.”
ii. Moses received help in a stressful battle when he was fatigued - Aaron and Hur supported his arms so that victory over the Amalekites could come.
1. See Exodus 17: 8-16
b. Jesus friends were not there for him! But he looked for it! He asked for their help in prayer! Instead they just slept!
i. But He still pressed on through the stressor of the Garden.
4. He prayed again to “Abba”!
a. Notice he did not just pray once but he went and did it again!
b. Sometimes we need to persevere in prayer!
i. He asked for “Abba’s” help again!
ii. It’s good to keep asking God for help!
5. He asked for a different direction but Abba who said “no” so Jesus had to accept God’s plan.
a. Jesus yielded to Abba’s direction and plan and received strength from Heaven to press on.
b. Sometimes we need to accept what we cannot change to better manage our stress.
6. He even got so renewed and fired up so that He stamped on the enemy’s head – which then caused Satan stress.
a. Prayer book – show to church!
i. Read excerpts!
T.S. – Jesus shows us some techniques in dealing with stress and we can also learn some other effective management techniques from Dr. Colbert and the Word.
Conclusion:
To effectively deal with stress we need to go back to Ecclesiastes 2:24-26:
24A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? 26To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
Dr. Colbert’s closing chapter in his book Stress Less states this thought:
I have come to believe with a very strong conviction that the ultimate prescription for overcoming stress is this:
Love God
Love other people
Love yourself
Rarely do I treat patients for stress who genuinely love the Lord, are active in serving others, and who have a personal confidence and love for themselves that is rooted in knowing they have been forgiven by God and are presently ‘God’s work in progress.’ People who are quick to thank and praise the Lord, quick to confess their sins and receive forgiveness for them, and quick to reach out to other people and to see even strangers as potential allies rather than potential enemies are rarely ‘stressed out’(266,267).
Ecclesiastes 12:9-14:
9Not only was the Teacher wise, but also he imparted knowledge to the people. He pondered and searched out and set in order many proverbs. 10The Teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true.
11The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails—given by one Shepherd. 12Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them.
Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.
13 Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
