Ephesians 5:22-6:9: Relating Righteously
Pastor Eric J. Hanson
November 16, 2008
Introduction
Last time we left off with a verse that sets the tone for today’s message. Verse 21 of Ephesians 5 commands all followers of Jesus Christ to “submit to one another”. What is our motivation for this? The Word of God tells us that we are to do so out of “reverence for Christ”. Reverence for the Lord is a Holy thing. If we revere Him, we place him high up in our thoughts, regarding Him as holy, regarding Him as Lord of our lives.
Humility is needed in order to do this. Similarly, humility is needed in order to submit to one another. Humility is also needed for every aspect of relating to others that we shall study today. Now let’s move ahead into today’s passage of scripture.
Wives
(Read verses 22-24) Verse 22 makes secular feminists chafe and even rage. It conjures up images of a house slave wife who dutifully bring a drink, slippers, and a crisply folded newspaper to her lazy husband who is enthroned in his heated, massaging Lazy Boy recliner in front of the television. This wife really has no life of her own. The word in this passage that really galls these feminists is “submit”.
Unfortunately, there have indeed been people and whole movements who look upon this verse as teaching that very scenario. The reality, however, is something quite different. For starters, the word “submit” does not actually appear in this verse. In the original Greek, it reads “Wives, to your husbands, as to the Lord”. This changes the “slave” assumptions conjured up by the verse into something quite different. Here’s an important question which opens this up for us. Are followers of the Lord called to submit to Him? Of course we are! Submission is assumed in the original Greek text here because of the clause “as to the Lord”. The word submit was inserted by translators for the sake of smooth readability.
So how does this change the assumptions behind the verse? Simply in this: Jesus became Lord by loving us while we were actually his enemies. Let’s turn now to Romans 5:6-10. (Read it.) Now, with that in mind, the assumption behind this verse is as follows: The husband here is a true follower of the Lord. He has already been laying down his life for his wife, just as Jesus did for all of us. She is called to submit to such a man, as though He was the Lord, because he is following the Lord.
Now let’s read verse 23. (Read it.) It makes sense in the context of husbands who are true followers of the Lord; husbands who lay their lives down for the sake of their wives and families. Verse 24 makes lots of sense now. Let’s read it now. (Read it.)
Husbands
Now husbands, let’s move on to you. (Read 25-27.)
The Christlike servant leadership which I have been referencing, is described here perfectly. Clearly, the Christian husband concerns himself with the spiritual growth of his wife. He delights in her growing spiritual radiance as time goes by.
He knows the scriptures, and knows the instructions contained in Titus chapter 2, that the older women are to teach the younger women to be godly and skillful in caring for their home and marriage. He does not begrudge his wife spending time with her godly lady friends. They help each other along in the Faith. He also plays a part in her growth in godly wisdom as we saw in verses 26 and 7.
Let’s continue now. (Read 28-30) Men, I have a question for you. When you are in pain, do you do something about it? When my back hurts terribly, I sometimes have to stop stacking wood or shoveling snow long enough to bend over and do some stretching and relaxing of tight muscle groups. Then I can continue with my work. In the same way, if our wife is hurting physically, emotionally, or spiritually, we need to notice it, and then stop what we are doing and minister to her at her point of need.
Nancy loves it when I rub her feet after she has worked all day. This is a small thing, but it serves notice that she, and her needs, are priority for me. Beyond that, I tell her every day, how proud I am of her growth in the Lord, and in how she cares for and thinks of the needs of the others around her, at home and at work over at school. I also pray for her often throughout the day as she comes to mind. Any husband who knows the Lord can do the same: driving the truck, on snack break at the factory, or wherever you are.
Verse 31 is interesting. In Bible times, it was well known that wives had already left their families. The dowry and sometimes other gifts were exchanged, the wedding would take place, and the new couple would be off to the husband’s family farm, business, or city. Men were often enmeshed in their own family to the point that their wives were neglected. Very often, the man’s mother was still the main woman in his life, with the wife there for sex, cooking, and babysitting.
Paul makes it clear here that the wife is the main woman in a man’s life. He is to get free of his previous enmeshment that boys need, but which holds men back. His marriage is even more important than Dad’s family business. The wife comes ahead of the restaurant or hardware store which bears the family name.
Let’s read verses 32-3. (Read.) These sum up the reason behind such radical teachings. Jesus has already set the pattern for this, as he left the splendor of Heaven itself in order to become a servant and to purchase us from the far country of sin, and make us into his Holy Bride, the Church. Such a situation makes the love and respect in verse 33 possible.
Children
Let’s continue now into Chapter 6 and look at the matter of children. (Read verses 1-3.)
How wonderful for children to have parents who are truly “in the Lord”. They will be able to honor such men and women, thus activating the promise mentioned in verse 3. Nancy’s Grandparents took her Grandfather’s mother into their home and cared for her when she could no longer take care of herself alone. Then, they did the same for her grandmother’s mother in turn.
When Grandpa Robert McKeen was in his fifties, in the late 1940s, he began to have angina pains regularly, and soon suffered a heart attack. In those days, there was precious little to be done for such heart patients. He prayed to live long enough to see his daughter Gloria grow up to womanhood.
When I met him more than 25 years later, in 1974, he would tell of how God had kept him going all those years. He retired well past 65, and lived to see several of his great-grandchildren.
Nancy and I know that his life was supernaturally extended as he and his wife honored their parents and extended practical love to them. As for Grammie Theo who was his partner in all this, she was 96 years of age on the day she finished her cup of tea, laid back, and went to be with the Lord.
Honoring ones parents does not begin in the later years. It begins in childhood, as godly parents train their children in right living, while also having wholesome fun with them, and taking the needed time for these things.
Then verse four can come true. (Read it now.)
God’s plan for the family is awesome, and if a parent is dead or missing, fellow believers help out in special ways, as the church family draws close through small groups and healthy relationships.
The Workplace
Now let’s finish out our message on relationships with verses five through nine.
Are you in school? Verses 5 through 8 apply to you. Are you on the job? This applies to you as well. I, for one, am pleased that in our society, people are not actual slaves who are legal property. In most ancient societies, slavery was common. Even doctors and tutors were usually slaves. It was far different from the theme we hear in our land, which is as follows: “You can be anything you set your mind to, if you work hard enough.”
One thing has not changed. We are called to do our best for whoever is over us in school or at work, and to regard them as we would regard the Lord in the workplace. We are called, as believers, to work the same when the boss is not watching us, as we are when he or she is right there looking on. The Lord is our real boss, and he expects us to model excellence and integrity in all we do. Colossians 3:23-4 also back up this concept, reminding us to do our work as for the Lord, rather than for men.
The Subway Restaurant in the Oxford Mini Mall has called upon OHCA at times to send over more applicants, because those hired who are students there, have proven to be better workers that other young people. This is how it should be, if a Christ Centered World View is being built into the students there.
Finally, let’s consider verse 9. (Read it.) If we work hard, improve our employability with continuing education, and are faithful in the workplace, the day is likely to come when we are over others.
We are to treat those under us kindly and fairly. The Lord is master to both us and them, and he is just.
Next time: SPIRITUAL WARFARE!
