Secret of Satisfaction (Exodus 20:17)
If Danny Simpson had known more about guns, he might not have needed to rob a bank. But in 1990, in Ottawa, Canada, this 24-year-old went to jail, and his gun went to a museum. He was arrested for robbing a bank of $6,000 and then sent to jail for six years. He had used a .45 caliber Colt semi-automatic, which turned out to be an antique made by the Ross Rifle Company, Quebec City, in 1918.
The pistol is worth up to $100,000—much more than Danny Simpson had stolen. If he had just known what he carried in his hand, he wouldn’t have robbed the bank. (The Province, Vancouver, British Columbia, 9-19-90; www.PreachingToday.com)
Sometimes we don’t know how good we have it, and it can cause us to make foolish decisions, especially in these tough economic times.
According to many studies, finances are the #1 killer of most relationships. People argue over money more than anything else.
Even so, God has given us some real help in this area. There is a fundamental secret to financial stability and healthy relationships, which works for anyone at any income level at any time.
That secret is found in the Bible. So if you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Exodus 20, Exodus 20, where God shares that secret. Exodus 20, and verse 17 (read)
The secret to financial stability and healthy relationships is not getting more; It is wanting less. The word, “covet,” literally means to desire. & God says DON’T DESIRE ANYTHING THAT BELONGS TO YOUR NEIGHBOR. DON’T WANT YOUR NEIGHBOR’S STUFF. DON’T LUST AFTER HIS WIFE OR HIS POSSESSIONS. DON’T LONG FOR THINGS THAT DON’T BELONG TO YOU.
If your neighbor gets a new car, if your neighbor builds a new addition to his house, if your neighbor buys some fancy clothes, if your neighbor gets a lucrative business contract, if your neighbor gets an “A” on a test, if your neighbor gets a bigger allowance or paycheck than you, don’t envy that neighbor. Don’t be jealous of his or her success.
Instead, “Rejoice with those who rejoice,” Romans 12:15 says. Be glad about their success. & Don’t think, “I’ve got to have what they have.”
You see, a lot of our financial troubles come when we think we’re entitled to more, just because somebody else has more. We don’t appreciate what we already have, so we pursue more stuff and end up losing everything. Wanting more gives us less in the long run.
One day, a young Charles Darwin was eagerly holding a rare beetle in his right fist and another in his left when suddenly he caught sight of a third beetle that he simply knew he must have for his collection. What to do? In a flash, he put one of the beetles in his mouth for safekeeping and reached for the third beetle with his now free hand. But the mouth-imprisoned beetle squirted acid down Darwin’s throat – so that in a fit of coughing he lost all three beetles. (James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988, p. 26; sited by Darren McCormick, www.SermonCentral.com)
That’s really a good picture of what happens when we’re not content with what we have. It’s a good picture of what happens when we covet something that’s out there, that doesn’t belong to us. We end up losing even what we do have.
I believe that is at the root of our current economic crisis. It was people and banks and financial institutions wanting more house than they could afford. Then they found themselves in deep financial trouble when their houses weren’t worth the mortgage they still owed.
Coveting is personally ruinous, and that’s bad enough. But coveting also destroys relationships. Jealousy ruins friendships. Envy tears people apart.
Just a couple of years ago (2006), a Doberman pinscher guard dog named Barney went berserk at the Wookey Hall Caves, a teddy bear museum in western England. Alan Cowell, a New York Times reporter, described it as “teddy bear carnage” when Barney shredded about 100 of the bears on display. The biggest loss was Mabel – Elvis Presley’s teddy bear.
Mabel was owned by an English aristocrat named Benjamin Slade who lives close to the museum. He had paid around $75,000 for the bear at a Memphis auction, and then loaned it to Wookey Hall Caves. The museum’s general manager, Daniel Medley, reported: “I had a very embarrassing phone call with the owner. He’s not very happy at all.”
But what would possess Barney the guard dog to become so violent? The dog’s handler, Greg West, speculated that it might have been either a “rogue scent” that “switched on Barney’s deepest instincts or it could have been jealousy.” West said he was “stroking Mabel and saying what a nice little bear she was.”
After that, West spent several minutes chasing Barney before he could wrestle him to the ground and end the carnage. Now, no dogs are allowed at Wookey Hall Caves. (Lee Eclov, Vernon Hills, Illinois; source: Alan Cowell, “Doberman on Guard Duty Whacks 100 Teddy Bears,” New York Times, 8-3-06; www.PreachingToday.com)
Tell me: What triggers our anger sometimes? Is it jealousy over the strokes someone else gets? & Who do we damage when we lose control? More than likely, it’s something more valuable than a teddy bear.
Coveting is ruinous personally AND interpersonally. When we want more, we get less, and we destroy our relationships in the process.
Now, I can understand the poor wanting more, because they don’t have very much to begin with. But this is a problem that affects even the rich. Coveting is a problem even among those who have more than enough.
Peggy Noonan describes her encounter with an American CEO in her book John Paul the Great:
The CEO tells her it is “annual report time” and he is looking forward to reading the reports of his competitors.
“Why?” Noonan asks. She wondered what he looks for specifically when he reads the reports of the competition.
He said he always flipped to the back to see what the other CEOs got as part of their deal – corporate jets, private helicopters, whatever. “We all do that,” he said. “We all want to see who has what.”
Peggy Noonan thought to herself, “This man creates the jobs that create the world in which we live. And yet he can’t help it, his mind is on the jet.” (Peggy Noonan, John Paul the Great, Viking, 2005, p. 110; www.PreachingToday.com)
Where is your mind? Where is my mind?
This command against coveting is perhaps the hardest one to keep, because it so deeply affects all of us, rich and poor alike.
Socrates once said, “They are most happy and nearest the gods that needed nothing.” Then he entered the Exchange at Athens, where the merchants asked him, “What will you buy; what do you lack?” After he had gravely walked into the middle of the market place, he spread forth his hands, turned about and said, “Good gods, who would have thought there were so many things in the world which I do not want!” (Thomas Traherne in Centuries, Christianity Today, Vol. 33, no. 2; www.Preaching Today.com)
I think even the great Socrates struggled with covetousness.
So what’s the answer? If rich and poor, if wise and fool alike, all struggle with covetousness, how can we overcome this terrible habit? How can we learn not to want what others have? How can we learn to be content with what we have?
Well, I think the answer is NOT in eliminating all wants and desires, like the Monastics tried to do in the Middle Ages. They lived in deserts or caves or on top of poles to completely separate themselves from all worldly pleasures. That kind of lifestyle just doesn’t work for most of us. No. The answer to overcoming covetousness is not in eliminating all desires. It’s in desiring the right things. It’s in replacing wrong desires with right desires.
If I tell you not to think about green monkeys, what are you going to think about the rest of the day? That’s right, green monkeys. In fact, the more you try NOT to think about green monkeys, the more you will. The way not to think about green monkeys is to think about something else, like your neighbor’s brand new Mercedes. Ooops. You probably shouldn’t be thinking about that either, since God doesn’t want us to covet our neighbor’s stuff. So…
How do we get our minds off our neighbor’s stuff? How do we keep from desiring what doesn’t belong to us? It’s simple, just start thinking about something else.
The word for “covet,” as I said, literally means to desire. Well, there are certain things we shouldn’t desire – like our neighbor’s stuff. But the Bible, using the same word in the Hebrew, talks about a lot of things we should desire. There are things we should want and passionately pursue.
For example, instead of desiring our neighbor’s wife, the Bible encourages us to DESIRE OUR OWN MATE, TO PASSIONATELY PURSUE OUR OWN SPOUSE, TO LONG FOR INTIMACY WITH OUR OWN WIFE OR HUSBAND.
In the Song of Solomon 2:3, the young woman says, “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight (or I desire. It’s the same word translated “covet” in the 10 commandments. I desire) to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste.”
It is right and proper for a wife to desire her husband. & It is right and proper for a husband to desire his wife.
Proverbs 5:18-19 says to the men, “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.”
In the context, this is in contrast to the “love” of an adulteress. The point is: Find contentment and satisfaction, men, only in your wife, not in other women. Replace the desire for your neighbor’s wife with the desire for your own wife.
In the New Testament, 1 Corinthians 7 advises us to combat sexual temptation by “fulfilling our marital duties” to our own mates (vs.2-3).
Men and Women, the best thing we can do to overcome inordinate desire (or lust) is to cultivate real intimacy with our own spouses. Work on your marriage relationship, and make it the best it can be.
If you’ve ever been on an airplane, you know that flight attendants always give these instructions to the passengers before takeoff: “For those of you traveling with small children, in the event of an oxygen failure, first place the mask on your own face and then place the mask on your child’s face.”
That’s good advice for the family on the ground, as well. Too often, parents spend most of their time placing oxygen masks on their children’s faces while the marriage relationship suffocates. The only way to have a strong family is to make sure that husband and wife keep the oxygen supply of love flowing strong between them. (Merle Mees, Topeka, Kansas; www.PreachingToday.com)
You’ll have each other long after the children are gone. But if you lose each other, if your marriage fails, then not only will you suffer, your children will suffer, as well, for the rest of their lives.
It doesn’t hurt a child to leave them with a babysitter while you go on a date with your mate. In fact, your children will be the better off for it as they grow up in a stable home where they know that mom and dad really do love each other.
We have to work hard at cultivating intimacy with our mates, but the payoff is well worth the effort. We pursue legitimate, God-given desires, and everyone benefits – our children, our mates, and ourselves.
Don’t envy your neighbor’s lifestyle. & Don’t desire your neighbor’s wife (or husband). Instead, desire your own wife. Desire your own husband. Work hard at making your own marriage as desirable as it can be. That’s a legitimate and good desire.
More than that, the Bible tells us to DESIRE GOD’S WORD. PASSIONATELY PURSUE LISTENING TO GOD ON A REGULAR BASIS. LONG TO HEAR HIM SPEAK TO YOU THROUGH THE BIBLE.
Psalm 19:9-10 says, “The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous. They are more precious than gold…”
Literally, they are to be more desired than gold. It’s the same Hebrew word translated “covet” in the 10 commandments. In other words, God doesn’t want us to covet our neighbor’s stuff. God wants us to covet His commands. God wants us to covet His Word.
In the New Testament, 1 Peter 2:2 says, “Like newborn babies, CRAVE PURE SPIRITUAL MILK, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation.”
A long time ago, a love-struck young man wrote a love letter to his new bride. James Bracy was his name, and he was stationed at a California military base thousands of miles away from his wife. Even so, they kept their ties strong through their love letters. But this letter didn’t get delivered. Somehow it was lost, lodged between two walls in Fort Ord’s mailroom in San Francisco.
A half century later, James and Sallie Bracy celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. They were relaxing in the living room when their song, “Once in a While,” began to play on the radio. Sallie remembered the 1950’s song and how she used to get calls and letters from the man who owned her heart. They joked together knowing there would be no letter or phone call this time because James was at her side.
Meanwhile, a construction crew was dismantling the old post office at Fort Ord, and they discovered a long-forgotten letter from a young army corporal. The crew turned the letter over to Bob Spadoni, the postmaster in nearby Monterey. Spadoni began the process of delivering that letter, tracking down the Bracys through post office records and phone books.
Just a few days after hearing their song, the letter, dated January 28, 1955, was delivered to Sallie Bracy. It brought tears to her eyes, and she again became a love-struck 22-year-old. “It meant a lot to me then,” Sallie said. “It means even more now.” (Drew Zahn, assistant editor, Leadership Journal; source: “After 46 years lost in post office, love letter finally arrives,” Jefferson City News Tribune, 4-25-01; www.PreachingToday.com)
Many, many years ago, God wrote His love letter to us. It meant a lot then, but it means even more today. Don’t you long to open it? Don’t you long to read it today?
Don’t desire your neighbor’s stuff. Instead, desire your own spouse and God’s Word. For then, and only then, will you find true satisfaction.
In the movie, Pirates of the Caribbean, an experienced pirate, Captain Sparrow, and a young blacksmith, Will Turner, team up to rescue a young lady kidnapped by a ship of pirates.
As young Will is rowing onto a rocky shore with Captain Sparrow, he asks Sparrow what code they should use if they’re in trouble. The captain answers, “Pirate’s code. Any man who falls behind is left behind.”
“No heroes among thieves, eh?” Will replies.
“You know, for someone who has such a bleak outlook on pirates, you’re well on your way to becoming one,” the captain remarks. “You sprung a man from jail, commandeered a ship, sailed with a buccaneer crew.”
Suddenly Will’s eyes widen as he sees dozens of gold coins glittering under the shallow water below them.
“And you’re completely obsessed with treasure,” the captain continues.
As they get off their boat and step onto the shore, Will says, “That’s not true. I’m not obsessed with treasure.”
The captain replies, "Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate." (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Walt Disney Pictures, 2003; directed by Gore Verbinski, written by Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott; DVD scene 9, “The Treasure of Cortez,” 00:05:00 to 00:05:58; www.PreachingToday.com)
Let me tell you, when you have your family and the Lord, that’s real treasure! What more could we really want?
