Have we ever asked ourselves, “What would attract people to our church?” In his aptly titled book, “Saints and Snobs,” Marion Jacobsen wrote, “People are hungry for acceptance, love and friends, and unless they find them in the church they may not stay there long enough to become personally related to Jesus Christ. People are not persuaded—they’re attracted. We must be able to communicate far more by what we are than by what we say.”[1] Note that one of the things that would attract people to our church is acceptance. The question now is, “Are we attractive enough?”
One way of becoming attractive to seekers is by “Accepting the Different.” We are continuing our exposition on the command in Romans 15:7, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” [2] In our acronym A-C-C-E-P-T, we saw that we are to ACCEPT one another in Christ, CONCENTRATE on the essentials and CONCEDE differences. Let us now open our Bibles to Romans 14:13-23.
Look at verse 13: “Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another.” So, let us look at “P” first, which stands for “PASS judgment on no one. Note the word “Therefore”. After saying in verse 12 that “each of us will give an account of himself to God”, Paul concluded that we are to “stop passing judgment on one another.” God has the right to judge, not us. Note also He did not say, “Let us not pass judgment.” What he wrote was, “Let us stop passing judgment.” It appears that the Roman believers were already judging one another. Thus, Paul asked them to cease and desist from judging each other. Let me clarify that “what is prohibited to the followers of Jesus is not criticism but censoriousness, ‘judging’ in the sense of ‘passing judgment on’ or condemning.”[3] We pass judgment when we think that we are better than those who look, talk, dress or live differently from us. We pass judgment when we try to “fix” people rather than accept them. We pass judgment when we make conclusions about people without even trying to get to know them.
Instead of judging, we are commanded to “make up [our] mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in [our] brother’s way.” The word “stumbling block” refers to “an obstacle in the way; when the foot strikes it the person stumbles.”[4] The word “obstacle” is “the bait stick of a trap; when an animal or bird strikes it this triggers off the mechanism that produces entrapment.”[5] We put people in harm’s way when we do things without even considering its effects on them.
Paul gave us an example in verses 14 to 15: “As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.” Note that it says, “…no food is unclean in itself.” In 1 Timothy 4:3-5, Paul wrote, “God created these foods to be eaten with thankful hearts by his followers who know the truth. Everything God created is good. And if you give thanks, you may eat anything. What God has said and your prayer will make it fit to eat.”[6]
Personally, I believe that we can eat “dinuguan.”[7] But there are some people whose conscience bothers them when they eat it for they consider it unclean, not in the sense of health issues but religious issues. Paul wrote, “then for him it is unclean.” But, the issue is not just as simple as saying, “I’ll eat what I want and you eat what you want.”
When your conscience bothers you, it is better not to eat. Verses 22 to 23 say, “Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.” The Contemporary English Version translated it this way: “But if you do have doubts about what you eat, you are going against your beliefs. And you know that is wrong, because anything you do against your beliefs is sin.” So, the principle is, “When in doubt, don’t!”
We should be careful not to offend others because of our choices on trivial issues. Let us go back to verse 15: “If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love.” The word “distressed” refers to deep hurt or sorrow. “His sensitive conscience is deeply pained as he observes the strong brother doing what he cannot but feel is wrong. He may also be emboldened to do the thing himself, in which case the hurt is even deeper.”[8] Paul said that if we do something without considering the feelings of others, we “are no longer acting in love.” We are not to insist on our rights. We are to respect what others feel. “For love never disregard weak consciences. Love limits its own liberty out of respect for them.”[9] Maturity is withholding one’s rights for the sake of others. Thus, we are commanded in verses 15 and 16: “Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil.”
For example, some of the young people probably would like to have a tattoo or get a tongue or nose or navel or body piercing or wear a certain hairstyle or clothing. You feel that it is within your right. You claim that it is your way of expressing yourselves. That it is for art’s sake. However, that sets you at odds with your parents. How do we deal with this? First, remember that the Ephesians 6:1 gave this command: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Second, during the time of your parents, tattoos for example were associated with prisoners. So, for the sake of your parents, don’t make it harder than it is to raise you. Plus, you don’t want to hurt your chances when you apply for a job. It is foolish to mark yourself permanent with something that you would later regret. I admit that that is an extreme example. But I know you got the point.
There are more important things in life. We have to think of our testimony. Verses 17 and 18 reminds us, “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.” Our focus should be what is really important in life, the kingdom of God or His rule in our lives.
So, instead of passing judgment on others, we are to EXERT efforts to edify. Verses 19 to 20 exhort us, “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food.” To edify means to build up or to strengthen. We are to build up one another. We are to spare no effort but do our best to edify each other. The Message version goes like this: “So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault.” We would hurt our testimony to the world if all they see were conflicts or petty squabbles. Our Lord Jesus said, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”[10]
So, to build others up, we must sacrifice for their sake. Verses 20 to 21 says, “All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.” Even if we can eat anything for example, we should not eat it if our conscience bothers us. Then, if it would offend others, we should not also eat.
What we learned applies not just to food or holidays. In a multi-cultural church like ours, with people coming from different backgrounds, we need to learn to accept one another. Being different from each other does not mean we cannot accept one another. We are so different that we have so much to share. Psalm 133:1 says, “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!”
Someone wrote this poem, after watching a wrecking crew demolish a building: “I asked the foreman, ‘Are these men skilled, / And the men you’d hire if you wanted to build?’ / He gave a laugh and said, ‘No, indeed, / Just common labor is all I need. / I can easily wreck in a day or two, / What builders have taken years to do.” / And I thought to myself, as I went my way / Which of these roles have I tried to play? / Am I a builder, who works with care, / Measuring life by rule and square? / Am I shaping my work to a well-made plan, / Patiently doing the best I can? Or am I a wrecker who walks to town, / Content with the labor of tearing down?”[11]
Brothers and sisters, are we builders or wreckers? May we attract people to our church as we accept one another!
Let us pray…
[1]Marion Jacobsen, Saints and Snobs (Wheaton, Ill.: Tyndale House, 1972), 67.
[2]All Bible verses are from the New International Version, unless otherwise noted.
[3]John Stott, Romans: God’s Good News to the World (IL: InterVarsity Press, 1994), 363.
[4]Leon Morris, The Epistle to the Romans (MI: Eerdmans, 1988), 486.
[5]Ibid.
[6]Contemporary English Version.
[7]Blood stew. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinuguan
[8]Morris, 487.
[9]Stott, 365.
[10]John 13:35
[11]http://bible.org/illus.php?topic_id=187
