God’s Wedding Gift
Exodus 20:14
At the end of their first date, a young man in a bygone era took his favorite girl home. He decided to try for that important first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leaned his hand against the wall, smiled, and said, “How about a good night kiss?”
“Are you crazy?” she said. “My parents will see us!”
“Oh, come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?”
“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”
“Come on, they’re all sleeping!”
“No way. It’s too risky!”
“Please, please, please. I like you so much.”
“No, no, no. I like you too, but I just can’t!”
“Oh yes you can. Please?”
“No, no. I just can’t.”
“Pleeeeease?. . .”
Then to their surprise, the porch light went on, the door opened, and there stood the girl’s sister, hair disheveled, in her pajamas. In a sleepy voice she said, “Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. If need be, dad will come down himself and do it. Whatever you do, tell your date to take his hand off the intercom button.” (Keith Todd, www.sermonfodder. com; source: sem-joke@yahoogroups.com)
There was a time when just a kiss on a date was considered “risky”. Now, couples are expected to jump into bed together, if not on their first date, at least by the time they get serious with each other. So-called virgins are laughed at. They are considered weird, and sex outside of marriage has become the norm in our society.
According to Leadership Journal (Winter 2006) the percentage of Americans who’ve had sex on a first date is 29%. Average number of sexual partners men have in a lifetime—20. Average number of sexual partners women have in a lifetime—6. Number of adults weekly who have sexual encounters with someone other than their spouse—26 million. Percentage of American teenagers who have had sex by the time they finish high school—65%. Number of sexual scenes per hour on the top-rated television shows among teenagers—6.7. Overall percentage of television shows that feature sexual content—70% (Leadership Journal, Winter 2006, pg. 35)
The sexual revolution of the 60’s was supposed to bring us real enlightenment, freedom from our sexual hang-ups, and barrels of fun.
Instead, we got an AID’s epidemic, 38 sexually transmitted diseases, and
millions of broken homes.
There’s got to be a better way! And there is. If you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Exodus 20, Exodus 20, where in just one short sentence God tells us how to have fun, fantastic sex without all the hang-ups. Exodus 20:14 -- "You shall not commit adultery."
There you have it. Keep sex exclusively within the marriage relationship and you will have a good time. You see, God is the one who created sex. & When He did, He called it “VERY GOOD” in Genesis 1:31.
Sex is not some “dirty little secret” of every married couple. It’s a beautiful creation of God. The pastor who performed our wedding ceremony called it, “God’s Wedding Gift!”
The point is, “Don’t spoil the gift!” Don’t take what God created as good and beautiful and ruin it by taking it outside the context of marriage.
You say, “Phil, what’s the harm? A little fun on the side can’t be all that bad. Why should I care about sexual purity?” Well, if you turn with me to 1 Thessalonians 4, 1 Thessalonians 4, we’ll find five good reasons to keep sex within the confines of marriage. 1 Thessalonians 4, starting at vs.1 (read to vs.3)
We should avoid sexual immorality, because 1st of all IT PLEASES GOD. OUR SEXUAL PURITY IS GOD’S WILL. IT’S WHAT GOD WANTS FOR US AS HIS PEOPLE.
NFL running back, Shaun Alexander, in his new book talks about the time when he was meeting women from a lot of different backgrounds at the University of Alabama. His mother had taught him never to exploit women – that sex was meant only for marriage – and to treat women with respect. He knew the boundary lines it wasn’t right to cross… He knew if he didn’t keep his focus, he could fall. And it could occur anytime.
“One time it almost did,” he writes. “It happened the first year of college when I’d gone home for a visit. To protect her privacy, I’ll call her Sherron. One night we were alone in my room while my mom was gone. We were kissing, and I thought seriously about having sex with her. But something in me kept whispering, This isn’t right.
“Just then the phone ran,” Shaun says. It was his mother, and she asked, “Is everything good, Shaun?”
“Uh…yeah, Mom,” Shaun said. “It’s good.”
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“Oh, nothing,” Shaun answered. “Sherron is here and we’re going to go out and eat and probably go to a movie. Something like that.”
“Okay, that’s fine,” Mom said. “I’m going to stay in Covington with your grandma, so I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“As I hung up,” Shaun Alexander writes, “thoughts raced through my mind. What am I doing here? Something isn’t right about this. This is so easy and nobody else will know. But I’ll know, and God will know. It was more than wrestling with my thoughts. I was in a full-out fight. I had to decide who my body would serve.”
Just then, Sherron leaned close and whispered, “I’ve brought condoms.”
Shaun’s thoughts were racing. He was thinking, “Am I one of those rotten guys who says he loves Jesus but folds when it’s easy or when he won’t get caught?” “No, we can’t do this,” Shaun finally said.
And his girlfriend replied, “Why not?”
“We’re not supposed to.”
“What does that mean?” Sherron asked.
Shaun jumped up and pulled her to her feet. “It means we’re going out.”
He hurried her out to the car, and they drove to the mall. “That was the closest I ever got to having sex before marriage,” Shaun wrote. “Mom’s phone call had kept me from making a big mistake. Many times I’ve been grateful to my mother for calling exactly when she did.” (Shaun Alexander, Touchdown Alexander, Harvest House, 2007)
Moms have uncanny ways of knowing what their children are up to. But even if mom never knows, or anybody else, we need to have the conviction that sex outside of marriage is just plain wrong. If for no other reason, we should avoid sexual immorality, because the God we love, and the God who loves us so much, wants us to. We should avoid sexual immorality, if for no other reason than only because it pleases God.
More than that, we avoid sexual immorality, because SEX ITSELF IS SACRED. SEX IS SPECIAL. SEX IS A HOLY THING IN MARRIAGE. & Any kind of sex outside of marriage cheapens it.
1 Thessalonians 4:4-5
God is NOT saying that sex itself is dirty and dishonorable. On the contrary, when under control, within the confines of marriage, sex is holy and honorable.
Billy Graham says, “There must be firm control of the sex impulse. This God-given instinct has been dragged through the gutter by modern thinking, and we have made a cheap toy out of the most sacred gifts God has ever given to man. Our procreative powers need to be dedicated to Christ.” (Billy Graham, The Quotable Billy Graham, compiled and edited by Cort R. Flint)
Sex within marriage is holy! It is special! Don’t cheapen it by taking outside the context of marriage.
Several years ago, Phyllis George interviewed Dallas Cowboys quarterback Roger Staubach. It was a dull interview until Phyllis asked, “Roger, how do you feel when you compare yourself with Joe Namath, who is so sexually active and has a different woman on his arm every time we see him?”
“Phyllis,” Roger answered, “I’m sure I’m just as sexually active as Joe. The difference is that all of mine is with one woman.”
Touchdown! Roger hit the end zone with that comeback. Real men don’t commit adultery. A real man sticks with one woman. Period. (Steve Farrar, president of Strategic Living Ministries in Dallas, Men of Integrity, Vol. 1, no. 1)
It actually makes for much better sex! In study after study, those who have the most satisfying sex lives are those who have sex with only one person, and that’s the person they’re married to.
Several years ago (1989), Ann Landers asked her readers the question, “Has your sex life gone downhill since marriage?” One reader, a man age 52, from Newark, New Jersey, answered the question best. He wrote, “Your question – has sex gone downhill since marriage? – is an insult to those of us who waited until marriage to have sex. You ought to tell your readers that if they don’t eat the icing off the cake before dinner they are likely to enjoy the desert more.”
Don’t ruin it! Keep sex within the confines of marriage, because #1, It pleases God; #2, Sex is sacred; & #3 SEXUAL IMMORALITY ROBS OTHERS. SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS STEALING. IT’S TAKING SOMETHING PRECIOUS THAT BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE.
1 Thessalonians 4:6a (read)
Literally, no one should “go over” and “get more” in the things concerning his brother. In other words, when a man sleeps with a woman who is not his wife, he robs that woman’s husband. & If she’s not married yet, he robs that woman’s future husband. He robs that woman’s husband of his wife’s purity. He robs that woman’s husband of a beautiful relationship they could have enjoyed without the entanglements of previous sexual activity.
“Returning from Sunday School one day, where the Ten Commandments had been the topic, a young boy asked his father, “Daddy, what does it mean when it says, ‘Thou shalt not commit agriculture’?” He didn’t quite pick up on the word “adultery”.
But there was hardly a beat between the question and dad’s smooth reply: “Son, that just means that you’re not supposed to plow the other man’s field.” (Reader’s Digest, July 1979, p. 87, www.SermonCentral.com)
Don’t go messing around with someone else’s property. Don’t rob your brother of the joy of a pure and holy relationship with his wife.
I like the way one young man put it. He said, “My girlfriend will be a wife and mother someday. She must be an example to her children and the pride of her husband. I will help her to be as pure and decent as I want my wife to be.” (Author Unknown, Dear Abby, March 18, 1993)
Sexual purity is important, because #1, It pleases God; #2, Sex itself is sacred; #3, Sexual immorality robs others; & #4, Sexual purity is important, because SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS NOT SAFE. IT’S HAZARDOUS.
IT’S DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS not only to your body, but to your soul as well.
1 Thessalonians 4:6b (read)
There are very real physical AND spiritual consequences to sexual sin.
Richard Foster says, “Sex is like a great river that is rich and deep and good as long as it stays within its proper channel. The moment a river overflows its banks, it becomes destructive, and the moment sex overflows its God-given banks, it too becomes destructive (Richard Foster, Money, Sex and Power, San Francisco: Harper & Row, Publishers, 1985, 109; www.sermon central.com)
Take a lesson from the turkey. Male turkeys, often referred to as toms or gobblers, are created with a unique ability. When a tom gobbles, all hens within range answer the call and move toward him.
During the spring mating season, toms call for potential mates all day long. There is an exception, however. If a tom already has a hen with him, most of the time he will not leave his lady to check out another, no matter how enticing the response.
The tom is wired to know that females come to him. In most cases, a mature tom will not leave the hen he can see to chase down a hen he cannot see. It’s against his nature.
But there are exceptions. Every now and then the tom will violate everything he knows to be true and leave his hen. Most of the time he never comes home. What sounded like a willing mate was in reality an imposter holding a gun. (Jason Cruise, Nashville, Tennessee, www.PreachingToday.com)
Sex outside the context of marriage will hurt you every time. You may escape an STD some of the time, but You cannot escape the emotional, psychological, and relational damage it always brings.
Five years ago, USA Today reported that 25 percent of sexually active teen girls say they are depressed all, most, or a lot of the time. That compares with girls who are not sexually active – only 8 percent of those girls say they feel the same. About 14 percent of girls who have had intercourse have attempted suicide, while only 5 percent of sexually inactive girls have. (USA Today, June 4, 2003; www.PreachingToday.com)
Sex outside the context of marriage is damaging to your mental health.
In the 19th century, Marie d’Agoult left her children to follow after the most famous pianist of her day, Hungarian composer and virtuoso Franz Liszt. After the ardor of her infatuation cooled and the reality of missing her children set in, Marie is said to have made this observation: “When one has smashed everything around oneself, one has also smashed oneself.” (Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage, Zondervan, 2000, p. 101-102; www.PreachingToday.com)
Please, don’t smash yourself on the rocks of sexual immorality.
Sexual purity is important, because #1, It pleases God; #2, Sex itself is sacred; #3, Sexual immorality robs others; #4, Sex outside of marriage is not safe. And finally, sexual purity is important, because GOD GIVES US HIS HOLY SPIRIT. GOD HIMSELF DWELLS WITHIN AND HELPS US LIVE A HOLY LIFE. HE GIVES US THE RESOURCES TO DO WHAT HE HAS CALLED US TO DO.
1 Thessalonians 4:7-8 (read)
God gives us His Holy Spirit who helps us live a holy life. Without Him we could only fail, and His commands would only frustrate us. But with Him, we can live the life God has called us to live. All we need to do is trust Him. All we need to do is depend on the Lord.
That’s the good news this morning! Even if you have already failed in this area of sexual purity, you can invite the Lord into your life and let Him begin to clean you up from the inside out. You can invite the Lord into your life and make you a brand new person.
Corrie ten Boom, during one of her talks years ago, pulled out an old, worn-out leather glove. She held it up to show how limp it was and then she put her hand in it. Without the hand, the glove was useless, but when she put her hand in the glove, that glove could pick up a Bible and do all sorts of things. Her point was very simple: If God’s Holy Spirit is in us, He can do all things through us, but without Him we are as helpless as a limp glove. (Wayne A. Detzler, New Testament in Today’s Words, Victor, 1986, p.290)
The Bible tells us that those of us who have trusted Christ, have God’s Holy Spirit within. Therefore, we CAN remain pure despite the pressures around us. We CAN keep our minds and hands clean from sexual immorality. We CAN do EVERYTHING God wants us to do, because God Himself lives within us. All we need to do is depend on Him.
On June 6, 1981, Doug White and his bride, Sylvia, were escorted to their hotel’s fancy bridal suite in the wee hours of the morning. In the suite, they saw a sofa, chairs, and a table, but where was the bed? Then they discovered the sofa was a hide-a-bed with a lumpy mattress and sagging springs. They spent a fitful night and woke up in the morning with sore backs. The new husband went to the hotel desk to complain.
The clerk asked him, “Did you open the door in the room?”
Doug went back to the room and opened the door they had thought was a closet. There, complete with fruit basket and chocolates, was a beautiful bedroom! (Canthi Thomas, Leadership, Vol.15:1, Winter 1994, p.46)
God wants us to have a beautiful sex life at any age, whether you’re newly married or married for 50 years or more. Just open the door of obedience to Him.
