Family Friendly Truth - Part 1
Luke 2:40-52
Sermon by: Rick Crandall
McClendon Baptist Church - Aug. 24, 2008
*It was a dream wedding. Hard to believe it was almost 30 years ago. On July 29, 1981, Britain’s Prince Charles married Lady Diana. 750 million people around the world watched on TV. It was a modern fairy tale where a royal prince marries a lovely lady surrounded by adoring subjects. They were rich, young, envied by millions. It was a dream wedding -- but sadly, the dream turned into a nightmare, until the storybook marriage collapsed in divorce.
*Kelly Randolph reminds us that, “It takes more than a prince, a lady, and a palace to make a happy marriage.” But God wants us to have happy marriages. God loves our families. We know this because God is the one who created families. We also know that God loves families, because He chose to be part of an earthly family. And this story of the Lord as a 12-year-old can teach us a lot about our own families. (1)
1. First: God wants you to know the truth about your concerns.
*And the truth is that all families have concerns. All families face problems. Here is a family that faced one of a parent’s greatest fears: “My child is missing!” Fortunately this story ended with them finding their son Jesus safe and well.
*King Duncan tells another missing-child story that turned out well. Tyler Payne was a 5-year-old Texas boy who got left behind on a family trip. Tyler went to the rest room at a gas station in Nashville, TN. Then he couldn’t get out because the door got stuck. Meanwhile, his family continued their trip home.
*This was a good family with good parents. Dad was an engineer for General Dynamics Corp. They normally had a head count of their 6 boys and 1 girl. -- But that time they didn’t, and they forgot Tyler. A few hours later they stopped at a Wendy’s in Jackson, MS. That’s when Tyler’s family noticed he was missing.
*Back in Nashville, a woman had heard Tyler screaming and opened the door for him. He wanted his Mommy! Tyler was completely safe with the police in Nashville. They gave him teddy bears, coloring books and candy while they waited. Then, when Tyler saw his mom again, he gave her a big hug and said, “I’m never going to the bathroom again.” (2)
*That story turned out well. But it reminds us that all families have troubles.
-Preachers too? -- Oh yeah, Preachers too. Mary and I have never had a Cat-5 problem over the 33 years of our marriage, but we’ve definitely had some Cat-4s.
*Pastor David Dykes was preaching on marriage and wrote:
-Before I share this message I must issue a caveat: I don’t claim to be an expert on marriage. I don’t even consider myself to be a very good husband. I am constantly trying to improve. (And) I can say that outside my relationship with Jesus Christ, my relationship to Cindy is the most important in my life.
*Our anniversary is June 1, so in three weeks, Cindy and I will have been happily married for 10 years – of course we’ve been married for a total of 28 years! We have a strange and wonderful relationship: I’m strange -- and Cindy is wonderful. In 28 years, we’ve never had an argument. But we have had some serious discussions that made the neighbors next door call to see if everything was okay. I’m far from a perfect husband. Once when I did something stupid, Cindy wrote me a note that read, “Dear David, I hate you. Love, Cindy.” (3)
*All families have troubles. This Scripture shows us that the only family who ever had a perfect child had problems. So will we.
*And family problems are getting worse in the USA. The 2000 Census found that almost 40% of American families with children under 18 are single parent families. 40%! That compares to only 13% in 1970. And you could call this the age of the missing dad, because moms head 9 out of 10 single-parent families. (3)
*Families are in trouble today. But I want you to understand that families have always been under attack, -- Partly because of our sin and selfishness, -- Partly because the devil hates families and does everything he can to destroy this thing God created to be a blessing.
*Families have always been under attack. In his last letter to Timothy, Paul talked about the joy he had when he thought about Timothy’s genuine faith. Paul told Timothy that this faith lived “first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice.” But what about dad? -- Where was dad?
*Families have always been under attack. Twelve years ago Stephanie Coontz wrote a report on American families with this conclusion: “Raising a family is hard enough without having to live up to myths. In fact, the American family is as strong, and as fragile as it ever was.”
*I can only share a little of her background:
-In Colonial families “high death rates meant that a majority spent some time in a step family. Many other children left their parents’ home well before puberty to work as servants or apprentices to other households. Colonial values did not sentimentalize childhood. Mothers were far less involved in caring for their children than modern working women, typically delegating the tasks to servants or older siblings. Children living away from home usually wrote to their fathers, sometimes adding a postscript asking him to ‘give my regards to my mother, your wife.’
*During the Civil War, the number of orphans in alms-houses increased by 300%. In 1825 there were two orphanages in New York. By 1866 there were 60, but still not enough to meet the need. Homeless children swarmed the cities’ streets ‘menacing the gentry.’
*(After the Civil War) As women left the work force children entered it by the thousands, often laboring in abysmal conditions up to ten hours a day. In the North, they worked in factories or tenement workshops. As late as 1900, 120,000 children worked in Pennsylvania’s mines and factories.
*By 1900, the U. S. had the highest divorce rate in the world. During the Depression, divorce rates dropped -- but desertion soared. From 1940 to 1946 divorces soared -- from 264,000 in 1940 to 610,000 in 1946. And fewer than half of all teenagers who entered high school graduated. (4)
*I tell you this because I want you to know you are not alone in the problems you face. All families go through troubles. The Lord knows all about your concerns, and He can help you like no one else can.
2. God wants you to know the truth about your concerns. -- And your communication.
*Vs. 43 reminds us how important communication is. It tells us that: “When they had finished the days (of worship), as they returned, the Boy Jesus lingered behind in Jerusalem. And Joseph and His mother did not know it.”
*This doesn’t mean they were bad parents. Mary and Joseph were traveling with a large group of people, so they didn’t panic when they didn’t see Jesus. The men and women usually traveled in separate groups. Joseph could have thought Jesus was with Mom. Mary could have thought Jesus was with Joseph. Or they both could have thought He was with friends. But what a communication breakdown!
*I’ve had the privilege of speaking to a lot of couples planning to get married. When they talk about how they got to know each other and how they fell in love, they almost always say the same thing, “We spent hours just talking to each other.” But good communication like that almost always gets left behind in the rush of our everyday life. How long has it been since you had real communication with your mate or your children or your parents?
*Good communication is the mark of a healthy marriage, and we have to be intentional about it. As David Dykes says, “You will never find the time; you must create the time.”
*Stuart Briscoe says good communication is hard work, especially for men, because we are conversationally challenged. Dr. Briscoe also says the four hardest statements to make in marriage are: “I was wrong.” “I’m sorry.” “I don’t know.” And “I need help.” Using these 4 statements regularly with your mate is a good sign of effective communication. (3)
3. God wants you to know the truth about your communication. -- And your compassion.
*One of things I like best about this couple is that they didn’t play the blame game: “This is your fault, Mary!” -- “No Joseph, it’s your fault!” We don’t see Joseph and Mary fussing and fighting in this story, but it is so easy for us to fall into that trap.
*Kent Crockett made a great point about getting along in marriage. Kent said this, “Let’s suppose that everyone on this planet is an absolutely identical clone of you. You all have the same preferences and opinions. Everyone thinks the same. Each individual sees from your viewpoint.
*Now imagine, hypothetically, of course, that you are married to you. Would you have a perfect marriage? Would you ever argue with yourself? What if you both wanted the last piece of chicken? Suppose neither of you wanted to take out the trash. What if you were both in bad moods?
*Yes, you would still have arguments (in marriage), even if you were married to you. You would find out how difficult it can be to live with you. You might even ask yourself for a divorce!” (5)
*As Christians, we must learn to live in Christ-like compassion and forgiveness. Listen to the Scripture we studied a few weeks ago, as we focused on forgiveness. This is Eph 4:29-32 from the New Living Translation:
29. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
30. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.
31. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior.
32. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
4. God wants you to know the truth about your compassion. -- And your commitment. In this Scripture Joseph and Mary show us three great commitments.
1-First: Worship together. Make every effort to worship together. -Make it a lifestyle. We see the Lord’s family doing this vs. 41-42 as “His parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. And when He was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem according to the custom of the feast.”
*This was a family that worshipped together -- On a regular basis. They went up to Jerusalem for the Passover every year. This was no small effort for them. It was 65 miles by foot over rugged, hilly terrain. The way was filled with criminals and thieves who were looking to rob travelers. But the family went to Jerusalem for Passover every year.
*And you can be sure that they went to the synagogue in Nazareth every Sabbath day. Luke 4:16 talks about Jesus going to the synagogue as He always did, and why did He always go? -Because His family was committed to worship together.
2-Commit to worship together, and work together. In vs. 43-46 Joseph and Mary worked together on solving their problem:
43. When they had finished the days, as they returned, the Boy Jesus lingered behind in Jerusalem. And Joseph and His mother did not know it;
44. but supposing Him to have been in the company, they went a day’s journey, and sought Him among their relatives and acquaintances.
45. So when they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem, seeking Him.
46. Now so it was that after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions.
*Joseph and Mary worked together to solve their problems -- So should we.
3-Commit to work together, and be welded together. Can you imagine Joseph and Mary splitting over their problems? Never. Don’t let your problems drive you apart. Let them drive you closer together.
*Through Jesus Christ we can have a love story like Robertson & Muriel McQuilkin. For 22 years, Dr. McQuilkin was the president of Columbia International University in South Carolina. But in 1990, he decided to step down from his post in order to take care of his wife. Muriel had Alzheimer’s disease and required constant care 24 hours a day.
*Robertson and Muriel had actually met at the same school many years before. As they began spending time together, he discovered that Muriel was "delightful, smart, and gifted, and just a great lover of people and more fun than you can imagine."
*He proposed on Valentine’s Day in 1948 and they married in August the same year. For the next 3 decades, they raised 6 children and served God together at a variety of posts, including 12 years as missionaries in Japan. In 1968 they returned to the States and Robertson became president of the college. Muriel taught at the college, spoke at women’s conferences, appeared on television, and was featured on a radio program that was considered for national syndication.
*The first sign of Muriel’s disease was 10 years later. As the next few years went by, Robertson watched helplessly as his loving partner slowly faded away. Later in the disease he wrote:
“Muriel cannot speak in sentences now, only in phrases and words, and often words that make little sense: ‘no’ when she means ‘yes,’ for example. But she can say one sentence, and she says it often: ‘I love you.’
*She not only says it, she acts it. The board arranged for a companion to stay in our home so I could go daily to the office. During those two years it became increasingly difficult to keep Muriel home. As soon as I left, she would take out after me. With me she was content; without me, she was distressed, sometimes terror stricken. The walk to school is a mile round trip. She would make that trip as many as ten times a day. Sometimes at night, when I helped her undress, I found bloody feet.
*When I told our family doctor, he choked up. ‘Such love,’ he said simply. . . I wish I loved God like that -- desperate to be near him at all times. Thus she teaches me, day by day.”
*In 1990, Robertson realized that Muriel needed his full attention and he resigned. Here is part of his letter:
“My dear wife, Muriel, has been in failing mental health for about 8 years. . . It is clear to me that she needs me now, full time. The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel ‘in sickness and in health . . . till death do us part.’ So, as I told the students and faculty (in chapel), as a man of my word, integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. She has cared for me fully and sacrificially all these years; if I cared for her the next 40 years I would not be out of debt. Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But, there is more; I love Muriel. She is a delight to me – her childlike dependence and confidence in me. Her warm love, occasional flashes of wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. I do not have to care for her. I get to! It is a high honor to care for such a person.” (6)
*May God give us that kind of commitment.
5. God wants you to know the truth about your commitment. -- And your confidence.
*Remember that our ultimate confidence must be in the man who was still a boy in this story. In vs. 40 we see that Jesus “grew and became strong in spirit, filled with wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him.”
*When Jesus left His earthly parents to go to the Temple, on the surface He seemed to be doing something very irresponsible. But as vs. 49 tells us, even as a child, Jesus knew that He must be doing His Heavenly Father’s business. For Jesus, the Father’s business would eventually lead Him to the cross. The Father sent Jesus on a mission to take the punishment for our sins. But thank God, He rose again from the dead!
*And now we can be about the Father’s business. By receiving Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, by seeking to follow Him closer every day, by doing all we can to help others know Him too, we can help lost people find everlasting life!
*Jim Moore tells the story of another lost boy -- himself. Jim once got lost at the Ringling Brothers Circus -- A very scary experience for a 7-year-old boy in a crowd of over 20,000. Jim and his older brother, Bob, went to buy some cotton candy. People were pushing and pressing toward the counter. Bob was waited on first. Just then loud laughter came from the arena. Bob wanted to see what was going on. He didn’t mean to leave his small brother alone. He just got caught up in the excitement.
*Little Jim got his cotton candy but when he looked around for his big brother, he was gone! In that panic nothing looked familiar to Jim. He was lost! He wondered if he would ever see his family again.
*"I started to run," he recalls, "trying to fight back the tears. Everyone was laughing loudly at the antics of the clowns, but they weren’t funny to me." In his fear he thought, "How can they laugh at a time like this? How can they laugh when I feel so lost?"
*Just then Jim felt a touch on his shoulder. He turned around and saw his father.
-"My father had come after me and had found me. He held me, reassured me; then bought me a Coke, a hot dog, a Yo-Yo, a lizard, a little stuffed bear and a candy apple.
*I learned a valuable lesson that day: Being lost is terrible -- being found is wonderful!" (7)
*If you are lost today, there is a Father who wants to find you. There is a Savior seeking for you. -- Jesus Christ. He loves you so much that He died on the cross for your sins. Put your trust in Jesus Christ. Receive Him as your Savior and Lord. He will help you though all of your family problems. But best of all, he will make you part of the Family of God.
(1) SermonCentral sermon “Roles and Responsibilities In Christian Marriage” by Kelly Randolph - Eph 5:21-33
(2) Unknown original source for news story - Adapted from Christianglobe.com sermon “Searching for Jesus” by King Duncan - Luke 2:41-52
(3) SermonCentral sermon “How to Build a 3-D Marriage” by David Dykes - Malachi 2:13-16
(4) Stephanie Coontz, in "Modern Maturity", May-June 1996 pp 36-43. Modern Maturity Report, In Search of the American Family, Where are the Good Old Days. (Online sermon: “A Mother’s Faith” - Les Schultz - 2 Kings 4:8-17 - May 13, 2001 www.lesandhelga.com/sermons/2001/051301.html)
(5) Kent Crockett, I ONCE WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SQUINT, Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers, 2004, 7-8
(6) Original sources: "Repaying a 40-Year Debt," by Robertson McQuilken, Leadership, Summer 1993, p. 43 and 1990 article from Christianity Today found at www.ciu.edu/articles/livingbyvows. (Other background found online)
(7) YES LORD, I HAVE SINNED, BUT I HAVE SEVERAL EXCELLENT EXCUSES. James W. Moore. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1991, pp 101-103. Found in Christianglobe.com sermon “Eating Cold Grits” by King Duncan - John 14:1-4 - 2005
