Wrestling with discouragement and adversity
One world, one dream
Psalm 13
During the Olympics we watch athletes compete. We may reflect at times that at least they have an objective measure to know how they are performing. If I run faster than my last time, I am doing better, even if I do not win. If I throw farther than my opponent, I will win, and nobody can say otherwise. Their struggle is against others, against records, against their own limitations, against the natural barriers they strive to overcome:
• Distance
• Endurance
• Speed
• Land
• Water
• Air
Our own struggles are not so obvious. There may be a person in our lives who makes things difficult. Like David we may find ourselves with a Saul who pushes against everything we attempt. Unlike Saul, he or she may not even realize they are doing it. That’s the easy one to identify.
Our own bodies betray us.
• Sickness
• disease
• injury
• chronic conditions and deterioration
Against these competitors, we struggle just to do the normal things like our jobs, our chores, our family responsibilities. At times, it seems like is a no-win competition. Depending on the problem, with medication or devices, we can keep pace, or maybe lag just a little behind, but we can never catch up.
Sometimes it is just life, problems. Some of them are not easily solved, and others must simply be coped with, like a handicap in the Paralympics. We face:
• financial setbacks
• family problems
• things we need, like our houses or cars, broken
When we take one step forward, it seems like we are blown back two steps.
Finally there are the completely intangible opponents:
• Depression
• Addiction
• Spiritual struggles
• Mental illness
• Habits and personality tendencies that work against us
All of these problems have the capacity to defeat us. Like wrestling a heavier, taller, man, we push and push and hope for progress, but it is slow to come.
What is this Psalm about?
It is difficult to say. David may be running from enemies. Since this psalm is probably from David’s early life, he certainly had enemies in high places, from the king down. David is concerned his enemies will soon find his death an occasion for celebration.
The reference to needing "light" in his "eyes" is often a way of speaking about sickness. When a person is healthy, they are said to have "bright eyes." So, perhaps he is severely ill, he seems to be on the road to death, and is praying for his eyes to be brightened. As is often the case, his human enemies need not have anything to do with his death for it to be a welcome thing.
Maybe his problem is less tangible. He is troubled in his thoughts and has sorrow in his heart. Perhaps he is torn by a difficult decision or he is struggling with depression. Even so, his struggle is desperate if it has the capacity to kill him.
Who is this enemy?
• Is it Saul?
• Is it evil influences?
• Is it even his own doubts?
We cannot say for sure, but the vagueness in this psalm makes it an especially relevant expression of helplessness in many kinds of situations.
Watch what David is feeling
He feels forgotten by God
The events of David’s life are not clearly marked out with the years in which they happened. We don’t know how long he ran from Saul or how his health was during all that time. It was certainly years. How must it have been for him to be anointed king by Samuel only to have to wait and run for his life for years before being crowned as king?
If you have ever dealt with a situation that lasted for years, you know how David felt. Certainly it had all the effects on his mind and heart that he describes here:
• He felt abandoned by God
• He suffered doubt of his own decisions
• He suffered depression
• He felt defeated
David is wrestling inside with his own temptation to be engulfed by his despondency. He does not like the sadness and he is fighting it off, but he feels as if he is losing. Why won’t God lift the darkness? Why won’t He show Himself present and powerful? It is at times like this in our lives that we feel most like giving up. David actually lived in Philistine territory for awhile when he was running from Saul. He must have asked himself many times:
• Did God really choose me?
• Should I be rallying the support of these followers?
• Maybe I misunderstood Samuel
• Why should I fight the inevitable, maybe I should just give in to Saul and let him do his worst
In this Psalm he certainly expresses much doubt and searching.
He expresses his fears to God
He is not expressing a specific question, but he is asking for an acknowledgment of his cries. He begs for an answer from God. In doing so, he describes the consequences of God’s silence, if David ultimately is undone:
• Death
• Defeat
• Failure
David is feeling very much out of control. He does not want to die, but more than that, he does not want his enemies to gloat or take credit. He does not want them to have the last word.
It does not seem that David is necessarily afraid of Saul’s strength or his ability to kill him. He seems more afraid of the ultimate failure of his purposes and efforts. He was anointed king and he is evading the king while he waits for the fulfillment of that anointing. His strength and resistance have become a sore spot with Saul, and David knows that if he dies, no matter how it happens, Saul will feel vindicated, affirmed in his opposition to David.
Between 1983 and 2003, so many Christians were killed in the Sudanese Civil War, that a whole community of orphaned children arose who have become known as the Lost Boys of Sudan. Lopez Lomong was one of those boys. At 6 years old, he was kidnaped from his parents at gunpoint while attending church. He was to be trained as a soldier, and lived in a prison for three weeks eating a mixture of sorghum and sand.
He escaped with three teenage boys and trekked 3 days to the Kenya border. His friends were sent to the Sudanese officials because of their age, but Lopez was taken to Kaluma Refugee Camp where he lived 10 years. and learned to write using his finger and the desert sand, and daily ran the 30 Kilometer perimeter of the camp.
After writing an essay, he was chosen as one of 3500 Lost Boys to come to the US, where he was adopted by Robert and Barbara Rogers from Tully New York. A whole new education began: how to flush a toilet, the difference between the two knobs in the shower, how to turn off the light so he could sleep in the dark.
Rogers struggled against many difficulties to run 1500 meters in Bejing. David too struggled. His solution is in asking God for light: encouragement for his heart, physical healing, or wisdom for decision making. Whatever it is, if he does not get it, he is convinced that his eyes will be fatally darkened. He will not only fail, but his detractors will gain the satisfaction of his failure, even if they have nothing to do with it.
He affirms his trust in God
David equates God’s salvation with his love. In this case, the salvation David is seeking is immediate, he does not want to die, he does not want to fail, he does not want to be defeated. So whether he is asking for healing, for encouragement, or for wisdom, it is ultimately going to give him life. In that way, David’s continued existence will be a testimony to God’s unfailing love.
David exercises his trust by rejoicing. He obviously did not feel up to it, but it was not about him. He was not rejoicing because he felt good, he was doing it because God is Good. He was not doing it because of his current experience, he was doing it because of his past experience of how God had dealt with him. To David, God’s past generosity was proof that He would again be generous.
We can do what David does
When we are faced with these kinds of struggles, some that seem we cannot win, what should we do? We should follow David’s lead. Take a sheet of paper and divide the front in half:
At the top, name the struggle
The gymnast who does not identify the difficulty of her sport will never excel. She will not take the necessary steps to prepare her body for the unique demands of her event. If she does not work at her balance, she will fall off the beam.
Look at what David names:
• His struggle with people
• His the sorrow of his heart
• The confusion of his mind
• The sense of God’s abandonment
Social, emotional, mental, and spiritual struggle are all part of his problem, and he identifies all of it. Men especially are reluctant to consider their emotional struggles. Many of us would rather ignore than admit our spiritual problems.
God is big enough to be told that it feels like He isn’t listening. He can take it. He knows all of our inner workings, but it helps us to talk with Him about it. Prayer is an essential part of wrestling with discouragement and adversity. Talk to God, often, deeply and at length.
At the bottom, admit your fears
Sometimes the thing that keeps us from making progress is refusing to face the worst case scenario. Our fear of the dark unknown keeps us from seeking any possible steps we can take to success or steps to facing the struggle with a more positive outlook.
If the pole vaulter is afraid of heights, he will not win.
Johns says:
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love" (1 John 4:18 TNIV).
John is dealing with spiritual fear, the fear of being punished by God for our sins. But he reminds us that God’s love, expressed in forgiveness removes fear, if we will live in the safety and knowledge of that love.
It is the same with other kinds of fear. We must face and name the fear in order to examine the means necessary to avoid it. When David realized he was afraid of the gloating of his enemies, he had taken the first step to realizing how empty the threat really was. The gloating of the living cannot hurt the dead, and it cannot come between him and God’s love.
On the back, approach the three big questions:
David sings the last stanza, where he answers these questions:
• Who is God?
• What has He done in the past?
• How will I respond to these truths?
His answers go something like this:
• God is a loving rescuer
• He has been good to me in the past
• So I will praise Him in the present and in the future
Are you taking spiritual steps to relieve the struggle against discouragement due to any difficulty at all? Are you examining the identity of God? Who is He? In the most extreme terms you can imagine, Who is God? What do you know about Him, from His word and from His involvement in the lives of others you know? Are you trying to imagine God in all his immensity and majesty?
Has He ever been good to you? What was the situation? What was the outcome? Have you remembered the way He worked in your life? Did He help you through a problem, a sickness, a struggle? Did He give you that which you most needed? Did He help you find answers you needed? Remember!
Finally, what will you do?
Our feelings often dictate our actions, but sometimes, we must act in spite of our feelings based upon what we know. Giving praise to God from a heart overflowing with awe-stricken gratitude is a gold medal moment, there is no doubt. Giving praise to God because we are impressed is good, but it is not the only reason to praise Him. Sometimes, like David, we must give Him praise simply because of who He is and what He has done in the past
• In spite of our struggle
• In spite of our fear
• In complete trust that He is involved in the situation now, Give Him the praise He deserves.
This is part of the dream of God’s people, to find comfort and help in times of struggle, and to extend that help to the whole world, showing them the greatness of our loving and kind God. This is the flood-plain, to let the living water of God’s love flow up inside us and to let it flow from us to the whole world.
