“More than just roses”
Ephesians 5:25
We should see our relationships through the sacrificial love of Christ.
Sunday Morning Sermon
08.03.08
Intro:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-lv8745InI
All of us have them – Good ones – Frustrating ones – professional ones – sometimes we have them because of marriage – If we are blessed enough – we can have this thing with one person for the rest of our lives. RELATIONSHIPS! All of us have them.
Four-year-old Suzie had just been told the story of Snow White for the first time in her life. She could hardly wait to get home from nursery school to tell her mom. With wide-eyed excitement, she retold the fairy tale to her mother that afternoon. After relating how Prince Charming had arrived on his beautiful white horse and kissed Snow White back to life, Suzie asked loudly: “And do you know what happened then?” “Yes,” said her mom, “they lived happily ever after.” “No,” responded Suzie, with a frown, “they got married.” Getting married and living happily ever after are not necessarily synonymous (Swindoll, Strike the Original…, 49).
On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage. The husband said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no ’I’ in the word ‘marriage.’” The wife said, "For my part, I have never corrected my husband’s spelling."
Discussion:
Regardless if you are married or not – (Advance) We should see our relationships through the sacrificial love of Christ. Listen, if you want to improve any relationship you have regardless of the reason for the relationship – you will see them not through what you can gain or what they can do for you, or how they make you feel. Listen – you will improve your relationships when you see them through the sacrificial love of Christ. If you are married – this will improve your marriage – If you are not married, listen because this has application for you too.
Turn with me to Ephesians 5:25 (Read) (Advance)
There is only one command in our text this morning (Advance) – “Husbands, love your wives…” There is an example. (Advance) Normally I would start where the text starts but I’d rather start this morning were the story starts.
(Advance)
I. The Object of His Passion
a. Here’s story # 1 (I’ll read it – we’ll talk about it) – (Advance)
Mark 10:32-37, 41-45 –They were on their way up to Jerusalem, with Jesus leading the way, and the disciples were astonished, while those who followed were afraid. Again he took the Twelve aside and told them what was going to happen to him. 33"We are going up to Jerusalem," he said, "and the Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death and will hand him over to the Gentiles, 34who will mock him and spit on him, flog him and kill him. Three days later he will rise." 35Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. "Teacher," they said, "we want you to do for us whatever we ask." 36"What do you want me to do for you?" he asked. 37They replied, "Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory." (Advance)
41When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John. 42Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
i. Background
Disciples are with Jesus – it says that they were astonished – while those who followed him were afraid. He takes the 12 off by themselves and he gives them a “hard teaching” – Basically says – Guys when we get to Jerusalem – I am going to be betrayed to the chief priests and the teachers of the law – they will condemn me to death – hand me over to the Gentiles -- they will spit on me, mock me, flog me and kill me – 3 days later…I will rise again.
We hear that – and GO – WOW…he knew what Jerusalem meant! He knew what the cross was going to be like. If you are just astonished by the teaching of Jesus – this right here would make you afraid. More than healing the sick, raising the dead, walking on water, changing water into wine – more than all of that stuff – (Let me finish the story)
James and John come to him(away from the other disciples) …. “Um, Jesus we want you to do for us whatever we ask.” Jesus knows what they are going to ask…but he doesn’t stop them – Did you catch what they asked? (Advance)
They replied, "Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory."
Imagine you are on a family vacation – you have the ability to see into the future (work with me) before you leave the house you sit your wife and kids down and say – before we get to Niagara Falls – We are going to be involved in a major accident – you will survive – but I won’t. The youngest of the kids comes up to you and says, “Dad, can we get some ice cream?”
Jesus probably felt like that.
b. Their understanding
i. Very earthly –
1. Earthly Goals
2. Earthly Kingdom
3. Earthly Glory
Teaching moment: -- whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant. And whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
I’m reminded of our text – let me read it to you – (Advance) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…
Application:
c. The object of His Passion – was YOU – it was me
i. It was the co-worker that you can’t stand
ii. It was the boss who doesn’t like your faith
iii. It was the spouse who isn’t next to you
iv. It was the relative that you don’t understand
v. It was the friend who has forgotten their faith (Advance)
Romans 5:6 (NIV) – You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.
I wonder why it is – that we, Christians, good church people, why we don’t see those around us in the same way Christ sees them – At the center of his passion – in line with his will – with the potential for salvation.
d. Story # 2 – I’ll read it(Advance)
John 13:1-5; 12-17 It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love. 2The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. 3Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. (Advance)
12When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. 13"You call me ’Teacher’ and ’Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
The King of Kings and Lord of Lords – Master, Savior – the man Hebrews calls the author and the perfector of our faith – takes off his outer garment, and washed his disciples feet – their dirty, stinky, nasty, feet. He showed them the full extent of his love by serving them, by not just being teacher – but by being LORD.
Application:
e. The object of HIS passion – You and me
It’s wasn’t after we got all dressed up for church – It wasn’t after we dedicated ourselves for the 100th time to stop that habit, or promised we would clean up our language – God made you HIS passion, church from the very beginning. Jesus Loves you and He gave himself up for you.
f. He loves you through
i. The pain – the disappointment
ii. The Sorrow – and your doubt
iii. The hopelessness – the nights you have cried yourself to sleep
Jesus knows your struggle – The addictions you have – he already knows. The language you use – he’s heard every word. The things you know you should do – he’s made a way for you to follow through.
CHURCH…
g. He is with you. (Advance)
Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV) – The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
The passion and the purpose of Christ is you – as you are so that he can make you more than you are. His passion is focused on his creation. According to Paul – if we are in Christ, we are the focus of his love If that’s HIS passion. (Advance)
II. The Object of your passion
a. I believe it’s two fold – someone said
Marriage is when you agree to spend the rest of your life sleeping in a room that’s too warm, beside someone who’s sleeping in a room that’s too cold.
Here’s a story –
Married Couple – just like any other young married couple – she over cooks the food, he pretends to like it– broke as they could be – living on love. Kids came – 1, 2, 3, they got so busy with life – long hours, nights apart – passion colder than last night’s pizza. They began to fight…little things blew up into big things. The “D” word was tossed around --- papers were filed – lawyers were paid – they took extra jobs to fight each other in court – each claiming the other as selfish and stubborn. If they put as much passion into loving each other – as they did fighting each other – they would still be married.
b. God’s word says -- (Advance) “Husbands, Love your wives”
i. It means -- put your energy into your marriage.
Your job is not your marriage. Your hobbies are not your marriage. Your children (as wonderful as they are) are not your marriage.
Men, the strength of your families will depend on your effort. Understand that you are not just raising kids – you are raising men and women, future adults, people who will make salvation choices and choices for their wives and husbands – They will do what they see you doing. The way you treat your wife – they will grow up thinking that’s normal. The way you treat your parents – they will do the same for you – or to you! I know…you are teaching them, all the reasons why – church, you are SHOWING THEM! They will have the same attitudes you have. Be an example to them.
c. Your Passion – (Advance)
Ephesians 5:21 (NIV) – Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
i. should be people
1. Hurting people
2. Happy People
3. Lonely People
4. Sick People (Advance)
Matthew 9:35-36 (NIV) – Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
d. The world – says
i. Me First!
ii. What I want when I want it
iii. Buy Now Pay Later
iv. Someone else will do it –
v. Live for TODAY!
But the picture of Jesus is one of service and humility – one of selflessness and righteousness – one of love and mercy.
e. It is easier to – and very natural
i. Hold Back – make excuses, justifications
f. It is GODLY
i. To invest in the lives of those around you
ii. To walk beside hurting people and teach them about Jesus
iii. To help – those who are unable to help themselves.
Seeing people – through the sacrificial love of Christ – will not only change what they look like – but how we treat them. If God, holy and flawless, can love people – looking at them through his eyes – surely we can do the same. If God, holy and flawless, can forgive people (which includes us) – surely we can do the same. Church, your passion – The object of your passion – needs to be HIM.
g. Who He is – What he has done for you.
Janet Jackson Sang this Song – WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY. She’s talking about a human relationship, based on deeds done for each other. – If you are IN CHRIST most important thing God could ever do for you – has already been accomplished in the person of Jesus – your salvation!
h. Sanctification – the process of being made holy
i. Includes – sexual purity – self-control (Advance)
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 (NIV) – It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable,
ii. Includes – The tongue (Advance)
James 1:26 (NIV) – If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
Most importantly – it includes the heart
i. If he has your heart – he already has your self-control
Conclusion: (Advance)
Romans 5:8 (NIV) – But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
That’s the way you should love your wife…and each other.
Let’s pray
