Sometimes, Fathers can do some stupid things and sometimes aren’t always on the same "frequency" of the rest in the family...
------------MEDIA CLIP OPENER OPTION----------------
SHOW MR. BEAN "Mind The Baby Mr. Bean" (2 min 35 sec)
START: "Dirty Diaper" 14:00
END: 16:35 - After the man throws the diaper off of his caramel apple
Or search YouTube for: Mr Bean - Episode 9 - "Mind The Baby Mr Bean" Part 2 and fast forward to 5:00 and start from there.
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Men do some stupid things - like the time I tried showing my daughter how to cast her hook and bobber in the pond to try and catch a fish.
I had her stand behind me to watch carefully and to observe my technique. As I raised my arm up to cast the line, I was instructing her to push the release button while casting the line out like this...
I was then I realized my arm was stuck and wouldn’t go foward while at the same time I heard my daughter scream behind me.
I turned to see in shock and horror that I had hooked my daughters cheek with the fishhook while trying to cast the line.
As a young father with his first daughter, I panicked. My wife kept her cool and instructed us to drop everything and get in the car to head toward the ER. My daughter was fine. There was no blood. I had cut the line from the pole.
Actually it was kind of funny to see my daughter in the back seat on the way to the ER with a fishhook in her cheek with some fishing string hanging from it.
The ER doctor got a kick out of it also. He deadened the skin by the fish hook. Snipped the hook and slid it gently out of her cheek and all was well...except for the glare of doom from my wife of trying to teach my daughter how to fish.
It’s good to be a man on Fathers Day. A day when men can Pick stuff, Pass smells, Burp air and still be honored.
Thed Top Ten Reasons Why Men Love Being Men
1. We can open our own jars.
2. The same hair-style lasts for years -- maybe decades.
3. Underwear is $10 a three-pack.
4. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
5. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
6. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just
might become lifelong friends.
7. We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
8. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
9. We can do our nails with pocketknife.
10. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the day before Christmas and in 45 minutes.
Sometimes fathers do things that make it difficult for the family to accept and especially if you have any teenagers in the house.
Many times teens want to choose friends over parents in the area of advice, and as the leader of the house, this becomes a definite volatile point for any father-if he is the decision maker in his family.
We interpret the phrase "blood is thicker than water" as meaning family relationships are stronger than, and superior to, any other kind of relationship.
When pressed to decide between family and others, family prevails.
There are times when this philosophy is sound but also times when it is misguided. Such was the case in our scripture today (1 Samuel 20:24-34)
Jonathan was caught between his father Saul (blood) and his best friend David (water). How would he decide between the two?
Jonathan wanted to see God in his father - but knew God’s Spirit rested on David
---------ILLUSTRATION: GOD’S PICTURE
There’s a story of a 3rd grade student who was asked to draw a picture of what she thinks God looks like. The little girl showed the teacher - teacher said "Wait a minute, that looks like a man - that’s not God!"
And the little girl said "Well, I don’t know what God looks like, but this is a picture of my daddy. And surely God must look something like my daddy.
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For your kids to see a Father in "God", they must see some "God" in their Father
When fathers become consumed with themselves, then the only thing they can see is what you are at that time in your life. And depending on where you are at in your relationship with God, that can be a crapshoot.
Saul was consumed with himself, his kingdom and looking good in front of others-even at the expense of ridiculing his child and his wife
When the New Moon festival arrived, Saul noticed David was absent. Saul supposed David was unclean and could not attend.
One wonders if Saul had become so delusional by this point he could not clearly see the reason for David’s avoiding him - remember -- Saul was being directed by and evil spirit in his life at this point.
The next day, however, David was absent again. When Saul asked of David’s whereabouts, Jonathan gave the explanation he had discussed with David -- even saying that his brother’s "ordered" him to attend the family sacrifice.
Saul was not satisfied with this explanation. He became enraged at Jonathan, using profane language of him (and his mother for that matter).
Again, Jonathan pleaded David’s innocence. But Saul attempted to kill Jonathan, his own son, by throwing a spear at him as he did David.
Saul was consumed with himself to the point that his anger consumed him
It’s in a fathers anger that they do things which they often regret-Ephesians 6:4 "Do not provoke your children to anger -- why does it specifically mention fathers and not "mothers"?
When fathers become consumed with themselves, it will affect his children without him knowing it
Just the other day, my mother let me in on something that daughter had told her. My daughter had told my mom (her grandmother) that she missed spending time with me. That sometimes I get so busy that I don’t take time out with her as I used to when she was younger.
I had to get back on the same FREQUENCY with my daughter.
Just like a radio, you get moved around, knocked about, sometimes the channel gets moved (have a radio on stage and ADJUST RADIO DIAL so as to hear static, and then move to a radio station briefly, and then back to static)
Or maybe sometimes someone comes along and is curious just to see what else is on the radio and messes with your dial
You ever have people mess with your dial? Maybe it’s work that messes with our dial, maybe it finances or bills that keep your dial just off the station to where its in tune.
Maybe it’s time to shift your dial back
As I grow older, I’m learning more and more who my Father in heaven is and loving Him more each day, each year that goes by.
Saul was a father to Jonathan, but it takes something special to be a dad.
-------------ILLUSTRATION: What’s the difference between a Father and a Dad?
A Father isn’t a Dad because he has given you ’life’.
Or just because your Mother is his wife.
If you have a problem, a Father may not care.
A Dad will ask about your problem, and let you know he is there.
A Father thinks that respect is due him rightly.
A Dad knows that respect is earned, and should not be taken lightly.
A Father may be too busy to take time to talk to you.
A Dad will make the time, no matter what else he has to do.
Your Father is your Father and that is his stand.
Your Dad may be your Father and can also be your best friend.
When it’s time to go to bed,a Father will tell you to turn out the light.
But a Dad will tuck you in, and tell you "Good Night".
Your Father and your Dad may be one in the same.
And a step-father can be your Dad even if only in name.
Still wonder what makes a Father a Dad?
I have given you all the answers I had.
Your Father is the one that gave your life a start.
Your Dad is the one that remains in your heart.
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And for those of you whose father has passed on this day we honor our fathers, God promises to be a father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5)
"A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, Is God in His holy habitation."
What would happen, if you had a chance to talk with your father once again if your father is not with you? What if you could talk to someone you love... who has been dead for 30 years?
Or for those of you who haven’t spoken to your father in some time, what would happen if you did?
--------MEDIA CLIP "FREQUENCY"----------
Opening comment:
In this DVD segment, A rare atmospheric phenomenon allows a New York City firefighter to communicate with his son 30 years in the future via short-wave radio. The son uses this opportunity to warn the father of his impending death in a warehouse fire, and manages to save his life
The son (John Sullivan) who is played by Jim Caviezel (The Passion) uses the odd phenomenon to talk to his dad (Frank Sullivan) played by Dennis Quaid to catch up on the events that his dad has missed in his life.
As you watch this clip, think about your father, and what you would tell him, if you had missed the chance to talk to him, and what you would say, given a rare opportunity to do so...
SHOW DVD "Frequency" (clip is 10 min, 20 sec long - you may want to shorten it by showing a preferred clip after you view it)
START: (43:50) Chapter 9 "Catching up"
when Dennis Quaid says "John Sullivan, are you there?"
END: (53:30) "I’ve missed you so much"
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Many of us miss the opportunity to talk with our fathers, because issues arise and form barriers from crossing over to eachothers lives.
Sometimes things happen, that become so huge in our lives that prevent us from reaching each other. And through time, it slowly becomes weathered, and crumbles little by little.
And finally through time, when that barrier finally crumbles to the point you can see over to the other side-sometimes-we still have the opportunity with that person, whether it’s your father or someone close to you, to see them for who they really are-instead of who you thought they were.
Issues that arise often separate us from those we love and prevent us fromm seeing them for who they are.
In verse 34: an issue arises with Jonathan-who felt dishonored by his father for rejecting his friend, and by public humiliation.
Jonathan finally found out the truth about his father and he left "in fierce anger." But his anger was mixed with grief at "his father’s shameful treatment of David" (v. 34).
Following the agreed upon method, Jonathan informed David of Saul’s reaction. They kissed and wept together (v. 41). Then Jonathan sent David away; though their friendship was sealed.
Jonathan did not live according to the contemporary interpretation of the phrase "blood is thicker than water." He lived by another principle, another loyalty -- a sense of truth and justice and obedience to God.
Many time teens today wish their father knew things about them before waiting until an emergency arises for a quick fix.
Fathers seem to want to fix problems instead of working through them with their child. But really, instead of a quick fix, they want the opportunity to work through it with them. This is called "discipleship".
Most people think discipleship is limited to only the church and growth in the knowledge of God’s word.
But true discipleship was illustrated by Jesus in not by what he taught them through the Mosaic law---but rather how he lived, and what he taught 12 close friends who changed the world.
Your teenager-whether in high school, college, or on their way to becoming and adult-silently yearns to be discipled by their fathers, their stepfathers, or any male adult who takes an interest in their life and what is important to them
What Teens Wish Their Fathers Knew
1. "I question lots of things that I didn’t used to question."
A big part growing up is learning to think and feel for one’s self. They start to realize that dad isn’t really Superman or a possibility of being Batman. Teens who were very obedient children may start questioning why they do things that you tell them to do. They may question your judgment. They may question basic beliefs and values that your family has embraced.
This questioning process is healthy and normal. Try to stay available to help them through some of that questioning process if the opportunity presents itself.
2. "Things are changing, and I can’t tell you why."
They may start feeling uncomfortable around friends of the opposite sex, even when they have been friends for years. They may want posters on the wall of which you do not approve. But mostly, they just feel-they don’t necessarily understand why.
They become short-tempered and tend to raise their voices a lot, especially when they are under stress. Teach them that even though it is hard, changing hormones and "flash points" can be controlled.
3. "Sometimes, I just want you to listen."
Dads often tend to want to be problem-solvers and jump right into a conversation with advice. Resist that temptation and try from time to time to just listen.
Many times conversations between parents and teenagers is a chance for a teen to "work it out on their own" with you listening in. Give them that chance to learn to deal with life’s issues rationally and reasonably without you jumping in to solve the issues.
4. "I need you to be consistent."
While teens often rebel at parental authority, they expect and feel most comfortable when parents stick by rule and behave consistently.
Don’t constantly change curfews-have a rule and stick with it. The consistency will help give your teen something to rely on-an anchor in the storm of life.
5. "Walk your talk."
Teens get frustrated when parents say one thing and do another. Keep your commitments, they would rather have no promise than a broken one.
If we have a family rule about television or video games, mom and dad should live by the rule as well. Set a good example and keep your commitments, and your teen will have greater respect for you.
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Why is it hard for so many teens to communicate with their father -- even more to show their feelings? Perhaps they feel judged. They see their father as the enforcer.
Christians feel the same with God in their relationship with Him. They feel judged, and therefore feel unworthy that He desires fellowship with them.
If you are unable to find it in your life to perhaps HONOR your father, maybe you can show your love through your LOYALTY to him
Even though Jonathan knew his father was wrong about his perception of David, his best friend, he still remained LOYAL to his father. Read 1 Samuel 31:1-6
Jonathan had the choice of leaving his father and join David, the anointed King of Israel, but chose to stay with Saul his father because of his LOYALTY.
Jonathon HONORED his fathers position as king, but as a father, he was LOYAL to him also.
Which do you have for your father? Honor or Loyalty? Or both? What is your FREQUENCY with your Father?
CATS IN THE CRADLE DVD presentation (3 min 48 sec) ---AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST
CLOSING
You can honor someone but not love them-just as you can be loyal to someone and not love them as well.
Without LOVE in the middle of Honor and Loyalty, you’re just serving somebody.
Without love in the middle, the bible says that you’re just STATIC...making noise, not on the same FREQUENCY.
Jonathan Honored and Loved and was Loyal to his father.
He didn’t just mouth it with a sappy card with a gift certificate inside, he proved it.
And in the end, he was loyal even while standing side by side with his father fighting the enemy. He took his stand beside his father even unto death on the battlefield while fighting the enemy.
As we give honor to our fathers or perhaps you need to adjust your FREQUENCY and re-affirm your loyalty to them - what is it that perhaps you need to say to your father?
Are you following in his footsteps-as the song portrayed earlier?
Are you so focused on what your father has done in your life that you find yourself slowly becoming as he is?
Fathers, perhaps you need to open your eyes and ears to your child?
Maybe your frequency has been off and you’re frustrated because you can’t get the right channel or station that your children are on
Do all they hear from you is STATIC?
Perhaps in this message, you’ve seen that your communication has been faulty with the Father above and today, you’ve decided to change your FREQUENCY.
---------POWERPOINT SLIDES AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST--------
